2006 

January 1, 2006

                I was reviewing my papers that I had in my research file. My reaction was “Oh!” to see the 2005 stacked with articles. I had to realize that I had to keep plowing foreyard and at least move like a turtle.

                I had a few people of late say to me: What is taking you so long? One party that asked me this question had me trying to explain the amount of article and journaling I had accumulated. I realized this person had no idea of what it involved for such a work. Writing is something that I find that I am very proficient at times and other times I experience no spirit to do any of it. It had me realize that I had to discipline myself and set a goal. But when I do this, there is another surge of activities in the diocese that adds to the article file.

                I had lunch with “Father Peacock” and was surprised how the conversation turned into Father Aquino topic. He said that this case really rocked the diocese. He continued to say: “It really shaken me! You’ve got to believe that!” I was not surprised because this guy had his excursions for “retreat” to Canada. Another factor in all of this of shaking the diocese was that many brother-priests were nervous of how Aquino may become a “whistling bird” on “The Boys-In-The-Band” in the diocese. He even told me how his Deacon who is delegate to the Diocesan Pastoral Council that Bishop McManus had learned a lot from this case which supposedly where the Bishop made this remark at the last meeting. Whatever anyone is to say, we must first begin that this had two criminal charges to begin with and then the spin artist entered. I believe that I was hearing “Father Peacock” using a deceiving technique to get the story off one issue onto another area. This had not been new in my experiences with the diocese nor “Father Peacock.” I had to remember that this priest and his deacon had the situation in their parish that the parish coordinator lost the petition sheet with his and the deacon’s name against same-sex marriage-the dog pooped on the homework excuse... No, I’m not talking about Bishop McManus and Msgr. Sullivan. This is a different story but yet over the same situation. I tell you, they are polished in their ways. But “ordinary” people had their number in the parish and town of “Father Peacock” and the Deacon. In the matter of the bishop and monsignor, I’m far away form the city to make such an observation.  

                “Father Peacock” even had to have me hear on this luck about Fr. Kazanowich’s letter for the Republic of South Korea. He said that Father Kazanowich’s letter was correct is saying that homosexuality was nothing like it is now during the period of the “Holy Family” time period. “Father Peacock” was using this approach to insinuate that he was against the “gay culture.” The whole conversation was as classic “deceiving” technique.

                Then “Father Peacock” tried changing the conversation of tormenting by saying to me that I never call him. Very simple, honest response of me saying: You are never in (rectory). It is the “Give me a break” time of a conversation. “Father Peacock” uses this style to change directions of a conversation form a hot button issue as Father Aquino and gays in the diocese with Bishop McManus time-line handling the overall case.

                What had me wondering was that Father Aquino was Diocesan Superintendent of Schools and Deacon Director and even “Father Peacock” was in chancery positions-Tribunal- with Bishop Harrington. These two guys, who were the same age bracket, were never appointed Monsignors by Harrington. Just wondering because Harrington made a substantial number of priests “Monsignors.” 

January 4, 2006

                “Lawmakers seek to end .limits on church liability: Abuse cases are targeted” by Frank Philips of the Globe Staff appeared this day in The Boston Globe.

                Phillips writes: “Support is growing on Beacon Hill for legislation to lift charitable immunity protections for the Catholic Church and other nonprofit organizations in sexual abuse cases involving minors.

                “More than 60 lawmakers have singed onto a bill that, in civil cases involving such abuse, would eliminate the current $20,000 limit on liability for churches and other nonprofit organizations. That charitable immunity limit supporters say has discouraged sexual abuse victims from coming forward and has sharply limited payments in other cases.

                “Two other bills would restructure the complicated laws governing the statue of limitations in criminal and civil cases involving sex crimes against juveniles. Current laws lay out various limitations bases on the number of years that elapse after a sexual crime is allegedly committed.

                “The House is also slated this month to take up a fourth bill, sponsored by Senate Marian Walsh, a West Roxbury Democrat that would force the Archdiocese of Boston and other religious organizations to file public financial disclosure reports with the attorney general’s office. In November, the Senate approved the measure, which is strongly opposed by several religious and nonprofit organizations. Governor Mitt Romney has expressed his support.

                “The bills highlight is responding willingness of the state’s politicians to take on the politically powerful Catholic Church as it attempts to settle dozens of abuse cases and improve its financial situation.

                “ ‘The Legislature is reporting to the public,’ Walsh said of the pending legislation. ‘They don’t see the institutions policing themselves, and we have the opportunity to set things right. Rank-and-file citizens are offering the leadership. They are the ones stepping forward.’

“Massachusetts is one of a handful of states that place limits on how much money nonprofits have to pay for harm causes by negligence. Last month, New Jersey’s General Assembly voted to repeal charitable immunity for churches and other nonprofits in sexual abuse cases.

                “The Bay State’s $20,000 limits for nonporous affects many kinds of negligence; the proposed change would involve only cases involving sexual abuse of a minor. The bill says, impart that the charitable limitations ‘shall not apply if the claim is for intentional or neglect conduct which caused or contributed too the sexual abuse of a minor….’ “! 

January 7, 2006

                The New York Times carried this day “Vatican Grants Church Trail to Prominent Monsignor in Abuse Scandals.” The story is reported by Any Newman and Michael Luo.

                They report: “After waging a public battle against the Archdiocese of New York, the most prominent Roman Catholic purest in the archdiocese to be accused in the sexual abuse scandals was granted a church trial yesterday by the Vatican to determine whether he should receive the ultimate punishment of removal from the priesthood.

                “The priest, Msgr. Charles M. Kavanaugh, former head fund-raiser for the archdiocese and an immensely influential figure in Catholic circles, as fight Cardinal Edward M. Egan sine 2002,when the cardinal suspended him and asked the Vatican to bar him from returning to the ministry.

                “Monsignor Kavanaugh is the first Catholic cleric in New York to be granted a trail since the sexual abuse scandal erupted in 2002. Twelve others were denied trails by the Vatican and either defrocked or sentenced to a life of prayer and penance, archdiocese officials said.

                “Monsignor Kavanaugh, 68, was suspended after a former student at the high school he had run told the archdiocese that during a six-year friendship more than 20 years ago, the monsignor touched him in a sexual manner and twice law atop him and rubbed against him.

                “Monsignor Kavanaugh maintains that the relationship with the student was affectionate but not sexual. In 2004, he took the rare step of publicly attacking the cardinal, accusing him of threatening him to keep him form fighting his suspension and of denying him full access to his disciplinary file.

                “The trail will be conducted behind closed doors by a  tribunal of three to five canon law judges in Erie, Pa. no date has been set.

                “While Monsignor Kavanaugh called the Vatican’s decision a victory-‘All I want is a full and fair hearing,’ he said-several national experts said that such trials have been growing more common since the adoption of rules in 2002 requiring that cases involving accusations of sexual abuse be sent to Rome for examination.

                “The Rev. Thomas Doyle, a longtime champion of abuse victims, said the Vatican’s disciplinary wing, the Congregation odor the Doctrine of the Faith, had granted several dozen American priests trails since 2002. ‘What is happening is not unusual,’ he said, adding that he would not say it was ‘a victory for anybody…’”2

                This was an issue of my situation. I had people telling me to go public and even my civil lawyer suggesting that I had a case. I wanted to maintain my priesthood and personal dignity. Therefore, I remained silent and followed the bishop’s directives of going to see my doctor in Hartford and attending AA meetings.  

January 11, 2006

                The “Worcester Voice” had on their Web page this day “Explanation by Bishop McManus leaves many questions. Who is running the diocese?” Please realize that I include this as it reads on the Web page.

                It reads: “Another explanation of actions appears shadowy with little supporting fact. Mr. Raymond L Delisle, spokesman for the Worcester Diocese told the Worcester Telegram that Bishop Robert McManus sent ‘his’ petition in the mail because he didn’t know what precinct he way in. Ha, what you say?

                “First, a petition, and the gay marriage petition in question was designed to be singed by the masses, no voting precinct knowledge is required. No individual receives his own petition.

                The Bishop’s statement failed to acknowledge to whom Bishop McManus mailed his petition to? This explanation does not seem constants with realistic actions.

                “Secondly, again for Diocesan Canceller, Msgr. Thomas J. Sullivan, his explanation appears short in factual disclosure area as well. According to Mr. Delisle, Monsignor Sullivan remembered signing and handing his over to a parish coordinator at St. Paul’s Cathedral, Worcester.

                “Handling his over? Against, another individual petition? To an unidentified parish coordinator at St. Paul’s Cathedral. As signing a petition was an everyday event. Msgr. Sullivan certainly would know the parish coordinator of St. Paul’s Cathedral.

                “Neither of these explanations is frankly believable. The Lack of professional stature and knowledgeable actions by Bishop McManus, the leader of the dioceses continues to bewilders the Worcester faithful increasingly as each occasion.” 

January 12, 2006

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed “Ohio bishop (Michigan) reveals he was abused as a teen by priest.” This was reported by an Associated Press reporter Carrie Spencer Ghose.

It reads: “Columbus, Ohio-Auxiliary Bishop Thomas Gumbleton of Detroit revealed in written remarks repaired for an appearance yesterday that he was abused by a priest 60 years ago. He is believed o be the first U.S. bishop to disclose that he was a victim of sexual abuse by clergy.

                “ ‘I speak out of my own experience of being exploited as a teenager through inappropriate touching by a priest,’ Gumbelton, 75 wrote.

                “He also wrote that there is ‘a strong likelihood’ some perpetrators have not yet been exposed, and the only way to ensure they will be is through the courts.

                “Gumbleton has endorsed proposals I several states to remove time limits that have prevented many victims of sex abuse fro suing the church. He told The Washington Post his own experience helps him understand why abuse victims often can’t bring themselves to sue within the statue of limitations, which in many states is two to five years after the alleged crime.

                “The written remarks were prepared for a news conference near the Ohio Statehouse in support of a bill pending in the Ohio Hose that would open a one-year window for sex abuse victims to sue the church for alleged abuse that occurred up to 35 years ago.

                “The Ohio Senate passed the bill unanimously, but the state’s bishops have vigorously lobbied against extending the window for lawsuits. No committee hearing was scheduled on the measure, so Gumbleton was to meet privately yesterday with House lawmakers who are on the fence, said Barbara Blaine, founder of the Chicago based Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests.

                “‘He did not disclose to us (before) the bombshell that he is a survivor,’ Blaine said. ‘He did it because he wants to protect kids. It definitely breaks ranks with his brother bishops. We know that is extremely painful to him.”4 

January 14, 2006

                “Trial of Worcester-area priest scheduled for May” was printed in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette and reported by Kathleen A. Shaw.

                Shaw writes: “The trial of the Rev. Thomas A. Teczar of Dudley, who is charged with indecently assaulting a teenage boy in Ranger, Texas, several years ago, is expected to go forward in mid-May in the 91^st District Court in Eastland, Texas.

                “The trail was originally scheduled to begin yesterday, but the date was changed. A spokeswoman for the Eastland court said yesterday that jury selection will begin May 12 and testimony will begin May15 before Judge Steven Herod. Notices of the trail date were sent to all lawyers involved in this case.

                “Rev. Teczar, who is a priest in the Catholic Diocese of Worcester, was arraigned in 2003 in Texas and has been free on $30,000 bail.

                “He was arrested in Dudley in December 2002 on a warrant alleging he was fugitive from justice and was arrested against in March 2003 on a governor’s warrant. Rev. Teczar has denied he fled Texas to avoid prosecution and he returned on his own to Texas for the arraignment. He has also denied that he abuse the boy, who is denitrified as John Doe II.

                “The alleged victim settled a civil suit against the Fort Worth, Texas, and Worcester dioceses several months ago for $2.75 million, although Worcester did not contribute to the settlement. The entire amount came from the Fort Worth diocese.

                “Rev. Teczar, who was ordained as a priest of the Worcester Diocese in 1967, was barred from ministry in the 1980s by the late Bishop Timothy J. Harrington, but he has to been defrocked. He later took an assignment in the Fort Worth Diocese, which included the Ranger parish in which the alleged sexual abuse happened.”5 

January 15, 2006

                There was this story that I had to hear today from former parishioners in Westminster. The story was how Mrs. Nancy Cherry, wife of Deacon Cherry who was buddies with Deacon Bob Dio-resident in Westminster- said that “Father Kardas is an alcoholic and was wild in Leominster. He had a motorcycle.” I asked id they pray for me because I realize the pain of life and handled issue in a destructive nature instead of a constructive manner. Or did this Mrs. Cherry spread stories as gossip because I didn’t have Dio as a Deacon at St. Edward’s. There was a definite reason: I was instituting a molded parish with “Lay Presiders” and the R.C.I.A. approach to Sacraments and a “Faith Community.” It was a model with less clericalism and more of an adult laypeople being formed for leadership and being a faith community. I had to realize by certain actions of the diocese and clerics that it was a Castch-22 situation-no winning.

                I had to hear how Father Kilcoyne preached on “vocations” at St. Edward’s. He ended his talk with saying there job security and a good medical plan. But, he concluded that the last 5 year in the diocese, he had to agree with what had been done and happened to be good. This begs the question: Why only the last 5 years? The Gong Show started-up with Stanley Skamarych-retired postmaster- sprung-up from his seat and began applauding in a wild-man fashion. I guess this is the style of the day with at least a few “good” Catholic people.

                One thing of late I had to realize more than ever: Truths are open to interpretations. But, this day and age is not so. Issues are “black and white” even to questions that are not even asked.

                Another point of eye-opening knowledge is how the book One Million Pieces by is that the power in the narrative is rehabilitation and dialogue. A story like James Frye’s is top news as Michael Walker of Vanity Fair saying that this story will last until the next story gets into its way-except priest stories in the Worcester Diocese with the Telegram & Gazette which seems to report a priest story and then the next 400 words are about other priest in print. There are not these qualities of the present day society that exists outside my “cave.” Tom Wolfee had a quote that I recently read: “American life is mainly about ‘status.’”

                Seeing I was into phrases-that-pay of late: The measure you measure is given back to you. What goes around comes around.

                But getting back to One Million Pieces, I heard a counselor on TV say that the author-James Frye- lying is having him be in danger of drinking again because in recovery stresses that one must tell the truth. Frye was shown to be lying. Therefore, the counselor says he is in danger of drinking against because not telling the truth. Is this why Rueger and Company were sniffing my breath and having “private detectives following” (Harrington) me? I have 28 years of sobriety. This is why one of the phrases of AA for one’s “tool box” is AA is Awareness, Acceptance and Action.  

January 17, 2006

                Kathleen A. Shaw reports “Advocates seek sexual abuse law changes” in these days Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

Shaw writes: “Worcester-Eunice White, a lifelong Catholic who said her religious faith means everything to her, believes she could have been an asset to the Roman Catholic Church but instead has been cast in the role of being a ‘thorn in the side of the church.’

                “As the mother of a man who alleges he was sexually abused by a priest of the Worcester diocese, she has begun to take center stage in the battle to reform laws in Massachusetts, reforms aimed at making it easier to prosecute those who sexually abuse minors.

                “Mrs. White and others in Central Massachusetts have joined a statewide coalition to support legislative measures to drop the statue of limitations on child sexual abuse so victims can bring criminal charges many years after the alleged incidents, to drop the $20,000 charitable immunity cap in cases of sexual abuse of children so victims can get bigger settlements in lawsuits and to make religious organizations responsible for filing public financial accounting with the state, as is required of other nonprofit groups.

                “She and others in Massachusetts working to change the laws on sexual abuse of minors got a boost last week when Auxiliary Bishop Thomas J. Gumbleton of Detroit told a legislative session in Ohio that he also was abused by a priest when he was 15 and that he favors changes I the laws of several states dealing with sexual abuse of minors.

                “He said he knows firsthand the difficulties in revealing abuse by clergy because he also kept his abuse secret for years and only was revealing it now at age 75. He is the first American bishop to disclose that he was abused by a priest. He also is concerned that the lingering scandal is undermining the effort of Catholics to carry out the social justice mission of the church…”6

                I received a phone call form Jack Keena to tell me that the Discovery Channel had a repeat program of the Molly Bish Story. I was reminded how the Grand Jury was to be completed this January. I would be interested to read the report in full to see how this system operates.

                Another part in the program showed the funeral Mass for Molly at St. Paul’s Cathedral, Worcester with Bishop Reilly-show boating-at the Mass. I was reminded that I had to recall, again, how there was my immediate family and diocesan family and I was in my “cave.” This is where the scares of life are brought back to view. Yet, everyone has scares in their life that are permanent. It is most important to realize that “growing pains” continue on even when one believes that is past. 

January 20, 2006

                I’m reading The Sociopath Next Door (2005) by Martha Stout. This has my interest. I’m into books lately after visiting a couple bookstores. Another book that has my interest is Clever as Serpents: Business Ethics and Office Politics. I wish I had this type of work or workshop or being newly ordained and having to sit in the rectory to answer the phone with pastors that wanted to preserve the “Fortress” mentality especially with authority and power in the name of religion. The term used in this work is “jungle warfare in business.” What I saw at this time that was in conjunction with the business model was an ad that had conference room table with a shark, turtle, owl, and barracuda. Here was my animal Farm” sequence being re-developed.  

January 22, 2006

                I have been thinking of what my next project will be after I get this basic text written of my book from my journal. I do realize that I will continue writing this work with my daily journal. However, I have to realize that I have to do footnotes and proof-reading which will be more of a project than I think of now. So, I will undertake writing a novel-my first. The title and area of interest will be: The Confessions of the Parish Secretary: Typing with two fingers. It will be dedicated to “George-None of this would have been possible.” Then, I’m follow-up with Rectory Living and then how you (Worcester Diocese) Helped Me... 

January 23, 2006

I was “just thinking” about the “Book of Daniel” on NBC Friday evenings. I was speaking with a priest in Hartford, who said to me that the program is too controversial and it will never air. Oh? It is too controversial because it tells the truth? Fr. Al was right. It was taken-off the air with no explanation. But, the printed media had stories that protest began in the South where some stations would not even show one program. The program was gone.

                “Father Peacock” was on a role in our phone conversation about Bishop Rueger and two other priest-Demonime and Bedard- who had a place in Situate which was in Rueger’s allegation case. He was even saying that it had to be someone like Dianne Williamson of the Telegram & Gazette to ask questions of location of “Situate.” What “Father Peacock” surprised me with was how he next said that he had a story to tell Dianne Williamson about the priest in the Worcester Diocese that would have enough material for her to write to the point that “she would be able to retire at the Telegram & Gazette.”

                I enjoyed watching the episode where two bishops (Episcopalian) had a relationship more than the spiritual nature. One of these bishops was “Fr. Dan’s paternal father.” The other bishop was a woman-who acted very well-in her role. I knew a number of Catholic priests that would be ballistic with a woman priest, never mind a bishop. But, end of story…for now.

                I came across this article in the TV Guide issue entitled “Oprah Defends Pal.” There had been so much publicity of the book A Million Little Pieces.

                Stephen Battalio writes: “Orpha Winfrey is standing up for James Frey, the beleaguered author of A Million Pieces. On January 8,the investigative Web side the Smoking Gun revealed that parts of Frey’s memoir about life as an addict were made up (the author described them as ‘embellishments’). But Winfrey, who featured the title on her book club last October and belied make it a bestseller, told CNN’s Larry King Live that Frey’s story ‘resonates with millions’ and she still recommends it. As for calling it a memoir, Winfrey says,’ I rely on the publishers to define the category a book falls in and the authenticity of the work.’ Random House is offering refunding to readers who directly purchases the book from the company.”

                I don’t think that my work would have a problem with being entitled a memoir. 

January 25, 2006

                The cartoon “Foxtrot” appeared in this day’s issue of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette. Hit showed Jason, seated at his computer, talking with his mother: “(Mother) Why the sudden urge to write a memoir? (Jason) I saw this best-selling writer on TV, And he was saying that basically it’s all right if a memoir isn’t entirely100 percent accurate. And I figured, heck, if that’s the case, I could make my life story really, really interesting! (Mother) You’re already ‘interesting,’ Jason. (Jason) The flight to the Death Star took a little longer than I expected….”8

                I wouldn’t have to supplement anything. It is my story here.  

January 30, 2006

                One thing that has become interesting was how I have been hearing in clerical circles and media saying gays are is used as scapegoats in this priest sexual abuse.

                The front page issue of America magazine which is a Catholic weekly on its front cover” Should Gay Men Be Ordained? No/Yes.”

                The Yes response was by (Bishop) Thomas J. Gumbleton who wrote “Yes, Gay Men Should Be Ordained.”

                Gumbleton stated” One mayor fallout of the current crisis of leadership in the Catholic Church is scapegoat of homosexual priests and seminarians. One bishop was quoted as saying that his ‘unscientific conclusion is that most sexual abuse by priests is against adolescent boys and therefore is rooted in societal acceptance of homosexuality.’ He went on to draw the bizarre conclusion that there are some fields that should not be open to certain people: ‘I don’t think drug addicts should be pharmacists, I don’t think alcoholics should be bartenders, I don’t think kleptomaniacs should be bank tellers and I don’t think homosexuals should be priest.’ Obviously he believes every homosexual person is a sex addict and, if we barred them form the priesthood, the sex scandal would be quietly ended.

                “Other bishops do not go so far as to consider all homosexual men to be sex addicts; nevertheless, they bar them from the seminary and the priesthood. Their policy reflects the judgment provided in a report prepared by the theologian Berman Grises: ‘Can men with homosexual orientation become god candidates for ordination? There are reasons to doubt it. Sexuality profoundly shapes the lives of human person, and a homosexuals orientation, less bizarre than the commonly recognized paraphilias, is a grave disorder. Homosexual men no doubt can be perfectly chastity and sublimation of sexual energy into priestly service for the kingdom’ sake.’

                “Some critics of the acceptance of homosexual men into the priesthood, like Charles Wilson, heads of the St. Joseph’s Foundation, a canon law organization in Texas, would lie to see the church make the ban on homosexual seminarians more explicit in canon law although he contents that if anon law is interpreted correctly it already prohibits homosexual seminarians.

                “In fact, one bishop has already publicly taken this position. He insists: ‘There is a difference between a heterosexual and homosexual candidate for the priesthood. A heterosexual candidate is taking on a god thing, becoming a priest, and giving up a good thing, the desire to have a family. A gay seminarian, even a chaste one, by his orientation is not a suitable candidate for the priesthood, even if he did not commit an act of (gay sex). He is giving up what the church considers an abomination.’

“Last March Joaquin Havarro-Valls, the official spokesperson for the Vatican, publicly linked pedophile priests with homosexuality and even went so far as to suggest that gay men could not be validly ordained. His statement in itself would not be of great concern, since Dr. Navroo-Valls is to in any sense part of the church’s magisterial. However, his remarks seem to take on an authoritative nature, because no bishop in the Vatican or elsewhere has publicly rejected those remarks. This can certainly leave the impression that he speaks with official support.

                “All of this focus on gay men in the priesthood and religious life, as a response to the recent sexual scandals, leaves many gay priests and brothers feeling very vulnerable and afraid. In a recent article one religious, Bro. Jack Talbot, a friar in the Capuchin Province of St. Joseph, quoted a friend: ‘It’s such a difficult journey just to be out; coming out in religious life requires another level of courage and conversion. With the Vatican’s recent attack on homosexuals in religious life, I hear that some parishioner will turn my orientation into something ugly and vile, and the next thing you know I will be reading about in the local paper.’

                “All this must stop: the scapegoat of gay priests for the sex abuse crisis, the demand to reject homosexual person s for the priesthood and religious life, the unchallenged suggestion that the ordination of a gay man would be invalid. All these positions contribute to the sharp increase in the negative feelings that so many in the church and our society have toward homosexual persons…”9

                The “No” answer was written by (Rev.) Andrew R. Baker in this same issue of America.

                Baker writes: “Every bishop possesses the sacred duty of discerning the suitability of candidates for holy order. St. Paul’s advice to Timothy is fitting for all bishops, especially today: ‘Do not lay hands too readily on anyone (1 Tim. 5:22). The church’s life and the way it manifests itself as the sacrament of salvation for the entire world leans inextricably on the shoulders of her priests. The supernatural ‘health,’ one could say, of the church depends heavily on the fitness of candidates for ordination.

                “In the aftermath of the scandal of clerical sexual abuse of minors, the church and society have focused partly on the role of homosexuality. The question has arisen as to whether or not it is advisable for bishop to admit a man with predominantly homosexual tendencies, or what some call ‘same sex attraction’ (S.S.A.), to the seminary and/or present him for holy orders.

                “Thanks to a recent Circular Letter in 1997 form the Congregation for Divine Worship and Discipline of the Sacraments concerning the suitability of candidates for holy orders, some guidance and assistance form the Holy See has already been given in order to tackle the thorny and difficult issue of suitability.

                “The letter says that a vocation is based on ‘a moral certitude that is founded upon positive reasons regarding the suitability of the candidate.’ Next, it mentions the fundamental reason not to admit a candidate to holy orders. The document says: ‘Admission may not take place if there exists a prudent doubt regarding the candidate’s suitability (Canon 1052 #3 with Canon 1030). By ‘prudent doubt’ is meant a doubt founded upon facts that are objective and duly verified.’ Later, the congregation advices that it would seem ‘more appropriate to dismiss a doubtful candidate’ than to lament thee sadness and scandal of a cleric abandoning the ministry.

                “In other words, the congregation seems to suggest that even if there is only a ‘prudent doubt,’ based on objective fact, about the suitability of any candidate, the best and safest curse of action is not to admit him to holy orders. The church does to ask for certitude that a man does to have a vocation but simply that a doubt has arisen through a prudent examination of evidence. Even though there may be a lack of certitude but a definite prudent doubt, a proper ecclesiastical authority should judge the candidate to be unsuitable.

                “What about a candidate with S.S.A? Does it introduce a prudent doubt suitability resulting in not admitting an applicant to a formation program or not issuing the call to holy orders?”

                “In order to determine the existence of a ‘prudent doubt,’ it would be helpful to clarify the meaning of the term ‘homosexuality.’ The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes it as ‘an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons the same sex.’ Some may experience a wide range of intensity or different type of attractions to persons of the same sex, as some experts propose. Although, in the context of determining suitability for ordination, it would seem appropriate to limit the definition of the term ‘homosexuality’ to describe those with exclusive or predominant tendencies, because a ‘prudent doubt’ can be better verified objectively based on the clears presence of the disorder. With this clears information, a bishop can then make his decision concerning suitability.

                “Some have described S.S.A. as a sexual ‘orientation.’ At first glance, this description may seem to have some merit. The sexual attraction of someone with S.S.A. is ‘toward’ persons of the same sex, and this ‘tending toward’ could easily be described as an ‘orientation.’ However, to classify homosexuality as an ‘orientation’ may obfuscate the disorder that exists and the distortion that has been introduced into a biblically inspired Christian anthropology…”`0

                This may be something very “technique” to some people who want a “black-and-white” answer to everything. The Church does not work in those manner-inmost matters. 

February 5, 2006

                I have established this day from one year hence to have my “basic book” in text fashion (spell check, proof reading, footnotes, etc.). Here I stand “February 5, 2007” which is Ground Hog Day. I will have it finished. (Maybe before).

February 6, 2006

                I came across in my reading the expression “guilty until proven innocent.” This was in the book A Peoples’ History of the Civil War: Struggles for the Meaning of Freedom by David Williams (2005). This was found on page 147 which read…”was the prevailing view and the sentence could sometimes be death.”

                Bishop Harrington used this “your guilty until proven innocent” on me a number of times in 1993. 

February 9, 2006   

                I finished writing the text for 2004 this day at 3:00 p.m. Praise the Lord and Pass the notes for 2005. I’ve been writing this 2004 since November of 2004. I believe it took me 16 months to do 2004. My goal for writing 2005 and 2006 is Ground Hog Day 2007 (Maybe earlier). I have a system going of assorting the articles by dates, reading each article for context I was to include in my text, red-pen the footnote number, list the footnotes on separate sheet for later printing of footnotes, input the articles I will use, and then split my Word program with my journal and the other half of the screen with my text for that period of time. I am now cranking it out.

                What I notice that it was not until 2005 that I started writing my journal-diary in the Word program on my computer. I started this journal-diary in 1993. It was not until 2005 that I realized that I would save myself some serious time by writing directly on the Word program. It had been something I wish I had thought to do some time before. But, I was practically each day since ordination writing on yellow office paper pads my homilies, talks, meeting agendas, notes of various occasions and research, lesson plans and other matters of my ministry. Finally, I adapted the direct method of doing what I was writing on paper for so long a period of time on the computer program. Actually, I had a fear of doing this for whatever reason. Yet, one day I figured to save time of not having to take the paper journal-diary and redo on the computer, do it directly. Here I finally stand or say sit to save my overall writing. 

January 12, 2006

                I turned the radio on this morning to WEIM=AM, Fitchburg which was about 4:45 a.m. The program was the Joey Reynolds’s Talk Show. This particular segment had the issue of abuse within our society. The guest was a Hay me Taylor who had a PhD. They were speaking of abuse of neglect, sexual and physical. Taylor talked about a judge that visits with victims without his rob and not to look like Doc Vayda of Star Wars to scare the child with the predator and victim. The judge has the victim tell their painful abuse stories. The courts have had a change of heart was said by Taylor. Counselors do wholeness with a direction to reveal and heal approach with the victims feeling their pain and explaining it. Evaluations are brought together by the system for an update. Taylor said that people may call The United Way or go on the Internet at www.familyeternal.org for information. Reynolds’s came up with “Don’t tell me it’s all about money (issue)” Taylor said: It is. Reynolds responded: It always is as this government and what is going on in the country of how the government (system) is operating in this day and age-money. Very interesting to hear in comparison to the local diet on this abuse crisis.

                Whenever we talk about a system, the Church I have seen operates with double standards in taking the easy way out. What I have heard of late that Church leaders are saying: It is the civil lawyers telling them what to do in settling anything because the insurance companies pay the bill. But, the cleric is then history. There is no due process whatever anyone will say. It is the classic power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. One had to see what happens when a Church situation goes form a horizontal way of operating to one-up of the vertical direction. Many priests and the Worcester Chancery Kabala were to not sorry to see me gone. I made s statements with my ministry in general and the new model parish with the R.C.I.A. and other aspects of my parish ministry (Lay Presiders) What about a “Mission Statement’? You don’t even hear about anything as such in pastoral (parish) work. It is clericalism personified. 

February 13, 2006

                I was reflecting how I sang “The Church of the Dead and Dieing”, in the early 70s after ordination. It was my experience in the parish and especially the rectory and chancery material. It was not the thing to do because “they” never forget-authority and power. 

February 14, 2006

                My eyes were popping-out of my head when I read in the newspaper the names of “Father Henry Banche” who was described as retired. He was always “Monsignor Banche” and he had a personality of being the Polish aristocratic personality. Yet, reading that Banache was being allegated was a story that had more legs in it. But, we will not hear anymore with the Worcester Diocesan Kabala operating.

                This is the day and age where even The New Yorker had a cartoon in its February 13 issue: “Give a man a fish; he will eat for a day. Teach a man to use and he will eat for a lifetime.” Reading this cartoon, I was contemplating of sending a note with this cartoon to Bishop Rueger on his retirement: Thank you for all the teaching you have given to others. (I never did such a thing.) 

February 15, 2006

                “Sex abuse trial dates set: Allegations involve priests in acts against minors” appeared this day in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

Kathleen A. Shaw wrote: “Worcester-Fall trial dates have been set in several civil lawsuits involving allegations of sexual abuse of minors by some priests of the Catholic Diocese of Worcester.

                “The diocese previously removed form ministry those who were working in parishes who were named in the suits. Three of the priests are retired and three have died. A status meeting on the pending suits was held Jan. 26 before Judge Jeffrey Locke in Worcester Superior Court.

                “Boston lawyer Carmen L. Durso, who represents a majority of the victims whose case are stated for trial, said Judge Locke said he would rule soon on whether the diocese will be held to the state’s charitable immunity cap, which would limit payments to the alleged victims to $20,000 each.

                “Two lawsuits filed by men identified only as John Does against the diocese and the Rev. Raymond P. Messier are scheduled to being with jury trials Oct. 10 in Worcester Superiors court, unless the lawsuits are settled out of court before then. Rev. messier was pastor of parishes in Athol and Petersham at the time he was removed form ministry in 2002 after an allegation was made of sexual abuse of a minor. One suit filed by a John Doe against the Rev. Henry S. Banach, a retired priest and the diocese was settled out of court and dismissed last May but another involving a John Doe against Rev. Banach and the diocese is scheduled for jury trial Oct. 19. The Rev. Brendan O’Donoghue, now retired, is named in a suit involving another John Doe that has been scheduled for jury trial Oct. 25 unless settlement is reached. A jury trial has been scheduled for the 15 in the lawsuit involving a John Doe who alleges sexual abuse by the Rev. John J. Bagley. Rev. Bagley was removed form ministry in 2002 after an allegation of sexual abuse of a minor was made to the diocese and has since retired. The late Rev. Leo O’Neil is named in a lawsuit along with the diocese filed by a John Doe and jury trial is scheduled for Nov. 29. The suit alleges that he sexually abused a boy in 1975 form the Stetson Home of Boys in Barre.

                “A lawsuit filled by Karen Pedersen against the diocese and the Rev. Robert E. Kelley, who is currently in prison after pleading guilty to raping two girls in another case, was recently settled out court. Jane Martin’s suit against the same priest which was filed in Hamden Superior Court was also settled out of curt in August. Three lawsuits by unnamed people using the name Doe alleging abuse by the late Monsignor Richard Carelli also were settled out of curt.

                “Lawsuits against the late Revs Bernard R. Reilly, who allegedly sexually abuse a girl I the early 1950s and the late Monsignor Michael L. Carney, who allegedly abused a 15-yer-old boy in Worcester into eh alter 1970s, are pending, according to Mr. Durso, who is representing the alleged victims, who are named only as Jane and John Doe in the suits.”11

                It is going to be an interesting fall season in the Worcester Diocese. Someone people are going to have a scorecard of priest and money accumulated. I know of a relative in West Warren that would be doing this with his riding companion- the priest, the priest, the priest. 

                The same issue of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette had a “digest” section: “Gay Episcopal bishop in alcohol rehab: Concord, N.H.-The Episcopal Church first openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson, says he is being treated for alcoholism, surprising many of his diocesan friends and colleagues.

                “ ‘I am writing to you from an alcohol treatment center where on Feb. 1, with the encouragement and support of my partner, daughters and colleagues, I checked myself in to deal with my increasing dependence on alcohol,’ Robinson wrote in an e-mail to clergy Monday.

                “Robinson’s assistant at the Diocese of New Hampshire, the Rev. Tim Rich, said yesterday that a growing awareness of his problem, rather than a crisis, led to Robinson’s decision.

                “In his letter, Robinson, 58, says he has been dealing with alcoholism for years and had considered it ‘as a failure of will or discipline on my part, rather than a disease over which my particular body simply has no control, except to stop drinking altogether.’ “12

                I was speaking with my cousin, Mickey Bish. He made the comment: “I (Mickey) shouldn’t bring this up, but today’s newspaper had an article on sex aubse of priest in the diocese. You know that I don’t know anyone that stopped going to Church because of this sex abuse crisis.” I didn’t make a response to him. I only listening for him to finish and go on. When he started this, I was seated at my desk and became emotionally weak wondering what he was going to say next, I wanted but did not ask him if my name was in the article he was reading. He did say that my name was not in the article. But he continued to say that Kathleen A. Shaw wrote this column he had and was the same person that wrote about me.  I had the weak reaction-anxiety-again. It was still there whenever I had to retrace the allegation path of my priesthood.

                It was an interesting comment especially from him in a small town where everyone knew everyone. I know that Mickey’s newspaper was the front page, sports page and the “priest page.”  

February 16, 2006

                I heard from “Father Peacock” that he was on a roll with the subject of talk shows on radio an TV should have a moratorium on the priest sex abuse crisis. Then he continued today that he is concerned that the next DA for Worcester-Conte retiring-may open-up the priest sex abuse with lobbying from special interest groups. I was listening and wondering how much he is running scared about issues in his own back yard.

                “Bishop’s alcoholism is a familiar problem” Pressure of scrutiny cited by other clergy” was in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette reported by Richard N. Ostling of The Associated Press.

Ostling writes: “Episcopal Bishop Chilton R. Knudsen of Maine can sympathize with her church’s first openly gay bishop, V. gene Robinson of New Hampshire, who announced Monday he is being treated for alcoholism. Knudsen herself needed alcohol treatment 21 years ago after becoming the first woman to lead an Episcopal congregation Illinois.

                “‘There is a particular kind of stress people are under when they are the first,’ she said. ‘Being a clergy person is a stressful job-and any disease process latent in our bodies is going to be exacerbated’ when an extra level of scrutiny is added on.

                “While Knudsen believes other high-pressure vocations-doctors, for instance- face similar problems, the Rev. Dale Worley of the Clergy Recovery Network says religious denominations that accept social drinking wind up with more alcoholism among clerics.

                “But where the church culture isn’t open to (drinking), the resistance to getting help is more profound,’ so seeking treatment and managing recovery is more difficult, he added.

                “Religious professionals after having high expectations of themselves and are viewed with high expectations by others, said Wolery, an independent Baptist minister based in Joplin, Mont. When they can’t live up to those ideals that can lead to alcohol abuse he said.

                “The core of the addictive process is shame,’ sad Wolery, who has aided between 200 and 300 clerics with alcohol problems.

                “Gail Gleason Milgram, education director at Rutgers University’s Center of Alcohol Studies, says that all executives, including bishops, have a special problem because ‘the higher up one becomes in an organization the more difficult to confront the behavior’ and tell the boss that help is needed.

                “Local clergy have another temptation. ‘They might come and get at their own schedules. They don’t punch a clock," she said. So it’s easier for them to cover up the problem, as avoiding appointments before 10 a.m. because they’re hung over, or after 4 p.m. so they can resume drinking.

                “The Rev. Nancy Platt of Augusta, Maine, and alcoholic who became sober before joining the Episcopal priesthood is active in the Recovering Alcoholic Clergy Association-An Episcopal group with 350 active members including one or two bishops.

                “Platt says the clergy have three special challenges: parishioners’ demands of them another families; low pay relative to other professionals with graduate training, and the requirement of dealing continually with peoples’ problems.

                “With bishops, ‘it’s harder, and it’s a lot harder than it used to be.’ For one thing, they need a certain reserve with clergy to avoid favoritism so they have few friends for support unless they have fellow bishops…. It really is the same with many CEOs, and yet you must be a pastor and mentor. That’s not an easy tension.’

                “Robinson’s sexual orientation has meant he’s dealt with the most intense sort of scrutiny: Becoming a sing of hope for some in the gay commuit13y and a flash point for debate in both the Episcopal Church and the international Anglican Communion.”13 

February 17, 2006

                The National Catholic Reporter­ reports “Abuse victims ask bishops to rein in one of their own” by Tom Carney of Des Moines, Iowa.

                Carney reports: “In an unprecedented session, representatives of victims of priests abuse met with the four Catholic bishops of Iowa in Des Mones Feb. 2 to ask them to take action against one of the their own, the retired bishop of Sioux City.

                “The victims’ advocates presented the bishops with five requests, all having to do with Lawrence Soens, retired bishop of Sioux City. Ten sexual abuse claims have been filed against Soens in the Davenport diocese, where he was a priest before becoming a bishop. He retired as Sioux City bishop in 1998.

                “‘He’s traveling throughout the state celebrating Mass with fellow bishops and being active in other Catholic events,’ said Ann Green, who represented a group from eastern Iowa at the meeting.

                “The victims’ group asked that the bishops write a letter to Soens, asking him to refrain from having unsupervised contact with minors, and telling him he is not welcome at church-sponsored events and liturgies in Iowa; that the four bishops issue a joint statement to all Iowa Catholics through church bulletins, diocesan newspapers and diocesan Web sites on allegations against Soens’ and that they send the same statement to the secular press.

                “They also requested that the bishops inform Iowa Catholics, through the same means, about the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests-SNAO as a resource where survivors can go for help and support; and that the bishops agree to a second meeting.

                “Greene said, the bishops were ‘very pleasant and receptive,’ and heard ‘some very graphic accounts’ from the victim’s groups. The bishops talked at great length about their limitations regarding Soens.

                “ ‘They said they have no direct control over him,’ shesaid….”14 

February 18, 2006

                I heard another story that had been tormenting. It was “Father Peacock” telling me the story of Fr. Leo O’Neil being put-out by the Chancery Kabala and was living in the Franklin Building in Worcester compared to Southgate, Shrewsbury. The Franklin Building in Worcester did not have good reparation. It had me thinking how the diocese will do this to me. I’m not that much better-off living in my present studio apartment. But, “Father Peacock” had to continue on with saying that by my age of 70 that the diocese was going to have to change and do something for me. He did say this Father Kilcoyne of Westminster was furious about O’Neil’s situation. One thing was that I had to quiet myself in hearing these stories. “Father Peacock” did have a way of playing mind-games. He replayed how he would love to meet with Dianne Williamson of the Telegram & Gazette and give her a story that would “blow the top of the Worcester Diocese.” He said Williamson would have a story to carry her through her whole life-priest insight on what was really going on. He continued with saying that he was going to speak with his lawyer about being sued because he did have ‘five young men do some raking at his Lake House.” The lawyer topic was issue with him because he wanted to update his will and was going to ask how to protect his assets if he was sued as so many priests are in this age and time. He wondered if he was able to do anything because of the seeing and waiting for the courts to resolve the $20,000 ceiling on suits. It was interesting to hear the anger and fear elements operating in him at this time. 

February 20, 2006

                I made an interesting error this day. I drove to Hartford for my “scheduled” meeting with Dr. Zeman. It was the wrong day.  It was re-scheduled to February 27^th. What I wondered about when I transferred dates to my new 2006 date book was that I had February 27^th but nothing written by it. I had February 20^th date for Dr. Zeman and proceeded with that date. So, I realized it was a Monday that was George Washington Holiday. The traffic was light. I get there and I saw Dr. Zeman going out another door. I approached the receptionist desk and she took my name and I waited. After a while, I wondered. I returned to the receptionist desk and paged him. He called back and said that I was scheduled for next week. I said I had the card to say otherwise. In this next moment I realized that I had the February 27^th date and didn’t realize it was the change in the appointment. When I returned to my place, I e-mailed him and apologized that it was my error

                When I did see him the following Monday, he said that he would not do anything to “push-my-button.” He did say if he did see me that he would have taken me for my appointment. I told him I appreciated it, but here I was with my past error-egg on my face. I am usually very accurate in such matters as appointments and my word. It was a good reminder to me that I was not perfect. 

February 21, 2006

I referred to what I recall studying of Cardinal Newman on the “power and authority” issue. He called it the “development of doctrine” with his memorable phrase: “To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” Thus Catholic thinkers find themselves pressing forward all the time, pushing the Church to rethink some traditional positions on human sexuality, on non-Christian religions, on papal authority, and a host of other questions. This is not a presumption for relativism, such thinkers argue, but a more thoughtful fidelity. If there is a freezing of “Church teachings” at a given stage of development, one risks making an idiot out of oneself in  proposing a change in the history of the Church. Yet, it is one way of pushing a doctrine that many have not yet reached in Newman’s stage of perfection after much change. 

February 26, 2006

                There is a difficulty in writing because it is a discipline of each day. Jim Mitchner wrote 2 pages a day for his 1,000 page books. My next work will be fiction and I hope I would be able to write with an easier style. However, I heard the former press secretary for Nixon say on TV: Keep the journal going.

                I have been hearing about “recall memory” of late. I hear that people are realizing that some people take situations where years later everything they didn’t like comes on the screen for them. It is something that is a said for certain limits of our society. This brings me to think of a Ms. Jean’s story of Leominster. She had a campaign on one issue-her child in St. Leo’s School. She takes on a complete different issue with the priest clergy sex abuse issue. She had on the Internet Web page “Voice of Worcester.” In my reading of her page, I notice that someone besides Ms. Jean is providing the insights and information. The grammar and thought development in the writing on this Web page has much to be desired. Someone should at least use the “spell check.” I wonder and watch how many other “victims” with lawyer use the cause of “recall memory” on their march for an allegation. What I’m saying is that many suing the Church have an “agenda” on the “good Catholic Church.” I was reminded in all of this that I represent the institutional Church.

 February 27, 2006

                The appointment wit Dr. Zeman was only a half-hour appointment due to the closing of his present practice with the group he was with. Dr. Zeman mentioned Bishop Rueger and wanted me to talk about him as to my insights in our next scheduled appointment in August. Interesting. 

February 28, 2006

                On the Internet Web page Catholic News Service was this article: “Levada urges gay priests to remain in closed...”

                It stated: “Head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Cardinal-designate William Levada has said that a priest who publicly announces he is homosexual makes it difficult for people to see the priest as representing Christ.

                “Catholic News Service reports that Levada explained that a public declaration of homosexuality places a priest ‘at odds with the spousal character of love as revealed by God and imaged in humanity.’

                “Cardinal-designate Levada made his remarks during a homily on Sunday as he presided over a Mass for the installation of the new rector of Rome’s Pontifical North American College.

                “In the presence of some 170 seminarians, Cardinal-designate Levada reflected on the challenges priest face today and on the Sunday Scripture reading, which described God’s love for his people as the love of a husband for a wife and described Jesus as the bridegroom of the church.

                “Referring first to ‘the tragic problem of sexual abuse of minors by clergy,’ the cardinal-despite said, ‘thanks be to God, it now possible to say that the measures taken by the bishops on behalf of the church have put into place a comprehensive program of education, prevention and care for victims, as well as measures to ensure that abusive clergy are not returned to ministry.’

                “‘One of the more immediate challenges facing seminaries,’ he said, is the implementation of the Congregation for Catholic Education’s November instruction that mean with ‘deep-seated homosexual tendencies’ should not be admitted to the seminary or ordained to the priesthood.

                “The instruction, however, made clear that the church was to questioning the validity of the ordinations of gay men who already are priests.

                “The cardinal-designate said the instruction’ is not directly related to the sexual abuse crisis, but it is not without relevance for it,’ insofar as a study commissioned by the US bishops identified homosexual behavior as a component in many clerical sex abuse cases.

                “Beyond the issue of psychosexual maturity, Cardinal-designate Levada said, ‘the question also needs to be need from its theological perspective,’ particularly in light of the biblical images of God’s spousal relationship with his people and Gospel passages in which Jesus refers to himself as the bridegroom.

                “The doctrinal chief sad he wanted to look specifically at “the situation of the gay priest who announces his homosexuality publicly, a few examples of which we have recently hard reported’ in reaction to the Vatican document.

                “ ‘I think we must ask, ‘Does such priest recognize how this act places an obstacle to his ability to represent Christ the bridegroom to his bride, the people of God? Does he not see how his declaration places him at odds with the spousal character of love as revealed by God and imaged in humanity?’ he said.

                “‘Sadly, hits provide a good example of the wisdom of the new Vatican instruction,’ he said….”15 

March 3, 2006

                Gerald F.  Russell of the Telegram & Gazette Staff reported “Pastor Accused of misconduct arrested in domestic assault” this day.

                Russell wrote: “Dudley-The pastor of St. John’s Church in Worcester, who was placed on administrative leave in 2002, was arrested Tuesday and arraigned yesterday on charges that the assaulted his mother and sister at their Oxford home.

                “The Rev. Joseph A. Coonan, 58, is charged with domestic assault and battery, assault and battery on a person over 65 years of age, and one count of intimidating a witness. A not guilty plea was entered on his behalf in the arraignment before Judge Neil B. Snider in Dudley District Court. He was released on bail of $250 and a personal recognizance. The case was continued to April 4 for a pretrial conference.

                “Rev. Coonan was removed form ministry at St. John’s Church on Temple Street in August 2002 by Bishop Daniel P. Reilly, head of the Worcester Diocese at the time, after allegations of sexual misconduct form the 1970s surface. Before his removal, 15 men from Oxford told state police that Rev. Coonan did inappropriate things with them when he was a teacher and counselor in Oxford before he entered the seminary.

                “He was a teacher at Oxford High School for eight years.

                “In 2003, the diocese asked Rev. Coonan to resign as a pastor. At the time, a spokesman for Rev. Coonan said the priest had hired a canon lawyer and planned to fight his removal ‘on canonical grounds.’

                “According to an Oxford police report filed with the Dudley District Court clerk’s office, Rev. Coonan’s had been drinking at the time of the latest incident in an apartment he shared with his mother and sister at 3 Hope Ave.

                “Police received a 911 call form Rev. Coonan’s mother, Mabel G. Conan, 77, who told a dispatcher, ‘I’m having a problem with my son.’ The mother ended the call but police called the number back and another female answered the phone and said, ‘I can’t really talk right now.’

                “The woman then whispered into the police, but police could not understand what she was saying. The dispatcher instructed the woman to press a button on the telephone pad if she needed the police to come to the apartment. The caller pressed a key and police responded and also sent an ambulance as a precaution; however, it was not needed.

                “When police entered the home, Rev. Coonan was standing in the doorway of a bedroom.

                “Mrs. Coonan told police that her son ‘had engaged in an argument with her and her daughter, Patricia Loisell.’

                “The police report did not indicate what the argument was about. A police spokesman yesterday said he did not know the nature of the argument.

                “In the police report filed by Oxford Patrolman Christopher D. Hadis, Mrs. Coonan said ‘that Joseph assaulted her by placing his hand around her throat in a chocking motion.’

“Mrs. Coonan showed no visible signs of injury, police said.
“ ‘Mrs. Coonan stated that this has been an ongoing problem. She stated that (it) escalates when Joseph consumes alcohol,’ the report said.
“The report said Rev. Coonan had been drinking beer that night.
“Police spike to Rev. Coonan, and he told them that ‘this was just an ongoing family problem and that no physical violence had occurred.’ He told police that ‘a verbal argument had occurred.
“Patricia A. Loiselle told police the argument between mother and son started in the kitchen. She was in the living room recovering from recent surgery. She told police she did not see any physical violence between her brother and mother, but then her brother ‘involved her in the argument.’
“According to Ms. Loiselle’s statement to police, her brother ‘became so enraged that (he) grabbed hold of her hair and pulled.” She got a cordless telephone and threatened to call the police and Rev. Coonan ‘forcefully removed the phone from her hand.’ He then took the battery out of the phone so it would not work….”16
The New York Times had in their “Critic’s notebook” by Virginia Heffernan “Brokeback Spoofs: Tough Guys Unmasked.”
The article states: “Gay cowboys, it seems, are shaping up to be like ‘Who’s on first?’ or the ‘the aristocrats’” a joke that keeps on giving. While the ‘Who want to see that?’ humor columns as but “Brokeback Mountain’ have wanted, online parodies of the gay-cowboy move are still proliferating faster than the curatorial video sites -including yourtube.com, gorilliamask.net, and dailysixer.com (which has a section called “Brokeback Spoofs’)- ca keep up with them. Some of them are stupid. Some are droll and great. But as commentary on the forms and ceremonies of poor gay relationships, they’re surprisingly sharp, and worth taking seriously.
“All of the parodies assume the same form: they’re trailer for imagined smashups that combine elements of ‘Brokeback Mountain’ with other movies. The actual mockups, of course, don’t exist; only these trailers do. They’re made anonymously or by comedy troupes or design shops, like Chocolate Cake Cit and Robot Rumpus, both of which give their web address at the end of their parody videos, “Brokeback to the Future’ and ‘The Empire Breaks Back,.’ (The creators who stay anonymous might be trying to avoid nagging copyright issues.)
“If they were made, the parodies can presumably serve as a calling card for those who sign their work; some of them are viewed hundred of thousands of times. Generally, though, the “Brokeback’ spoofs are nothing but labors of love, or gay panic, or both.
“The parodies typically use Gustavo Santaolalla’s sexy, mournful theme form ‘Brokeback Mountain,’ together with the title cards from that novice’s trailer, to reframe clips from another movie. It works almost every time: a gay movie seems to emerge when scenes between male leads, or a male lead and a supporting actor, are slowed down, set to make-out music and humpered by portentous cards that say things like, ‘A truth they couldn’t deny.’ The editing, and the use of slow motion, does suggest that close-ups, especially viewed at length, are intrinsically erotic. All that these parodies need to do to set up the relationship is show one man’s face in protracted detail, and cut to the other man, who seems to watch with the same rapt attention that the viewer has been compelled to give by the slow-mo. A gay subtext suddenly seems plain as day….”17

March 5, 2006

Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI wrote in his Web page this day “Sweating Blood in the Garden.”
Rolheiser writes; “ ‘In his anguish he prayed even more earnestly, and his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.’ “Luke gives us this picture f Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. What’s happening inside of Jesus here?”
“When we look at the accounts of Jesus’ passion and death we see that what the gospel writers highlight is not Jesus’ physical sufferings are almost underplayed ,In Mark’s account, for instance, the entire aspect of physical sufferings is written off in one line: ‘They led him away and crucified him.” What’s emphasized instead is that Jesus was alone, abandoned, betrayed, morally lonely, hung out to dry, unanimity-minus-one.
“Moreover, the fact that Gethsemane is a garden (rather than in a temple, a boat, or a mountain-top) tells us something too. Archetypally a garden is a place of love, a place of delight, a place to drink wine with friends, a place of intimacy. Conversely, that also makes it the place where love is lost, were one feels the deepest kind of loneliness, and where one suffers emotional crucifixion.
“Thus, it’s Jesus, the lover, who sweats blood in the garden. What he suffers there is the emotional agony that sometimes comes on us as the price of love. What Jesus seats there is a lover’s anguish. What is that…?”
“My dad used to say to me: ‘Unless you can seat blood sometimes, you will never keep a commitment, in marriage, in priesthood, or in anything else. That’s what it takes to be faithful!’
“In essence, at least in miniature, that was Jesus’ agony in the garden. The blood he was seating was the blood of emotional crucifixion, the prince of being faithful in love.
“To be faithful, to love beyond daydreams, requires that sometimes-in hotel rooms, inwardness, at parties, in our workplaces, in places where wine id drunk, and in every place where people gather and intimacies are exchanged-we have to enter a great loneliness of duty, the loneliness of renouncing an overpowering desire, the loneliness of losing life so that we might find it in a higher way.
“And that isn’t easy. Jesus didn’t find it easy and neither do we. What love and fidelity ask will sometimes drive us to our knees in anguish and, like Jesus in Gethsemane, we will find ourselves begging God’s for a means to

still have our own way in his, to have our cake and eat it too, to find some way around fidelity, now, proviso, and duty….”18

                It is that feeling that I experience. Then I recall such as this piece by Rolheiser. Loneliness was the course by Clark Moustakas that I had in my M.A. studies at Assumption College. How was I going to know that I had this in my “tool” box of life to open from time to time? 

March 8, 2006

                I did the 3 mile walk routine and picked-up the pace to a longer stride puffing. There was an elderly gentleman waking past me with a good stride who said he walks fast so he doesn’t have to be put into a wooden box.  I was puffing in the rest of the walk because it was of the longer strides with a steady strong pace. I felt a lot better after hearing him and developing his style. I walked previously with short steps that were actually too causal. I was feeling good that evening with body and mind. A new style was in place for me to adapt for my walking. I also said my rosary when I did this 3 mile walk.  

March 9, 2006

                I was educated to read everything possible on a subject to develop a conscience and being informed. I noticed in my journal writing that I had a somewhat limited source material mainly due to finances and Internet availability. A newsprint that I had to review periodically was The Priest magazine which I only see periodically. It is more of the right-wing of the Catholic priesthood, but a source that should be reviewed for me to get a balanced viewpoint of issues. I would have to travel to Assumption College library in Worcester to read this issue. 

March 10, 2006

                The Catholic Free Press printed on page 1 “Holy See acts on Msgr. Batista case” Other priest abuse cases sent to Vatican.”

                The article reads (no reporter): “An order of the Holy See, through the Congregation for the Doctrine for the Doctrine of Faith, permanently prohibits Msgr. Leo J. Battista, 82, from any type of priestly ministry. Also, he may not present himself as a priest and is to spend the rest of his days in prayer and penance, according to a press release form the diocese yesterday.

                “The diocese had referred Msgr. Batista’s case to the Vatican after charges of sexual improprieties were brought against him. The diocese sought laicization according to Raymond > Delisle, diocesan directory of communications. Laicization means reduction to the lay state. Msgr. Battista retired form ministry in 1995.

                “Msgr. F. Stephen Pedone, diocesan judicial vicar and vicar for canonical affairs, said one cases alleging sexual abuse against a diocesan priest is pending now in the Vatican. Information concerning sexual aubse allegations against five other diocesan priests is being prepared now to be sent to the Vatican. Information on the cases of three other priests will be sent later. He declined to name the priests.

                “All the cases occurred before 2002, he said, and the allegations against the priests were sent earlier. The Vatican has asked for supporting material, which is being prepared now, he said. Information on cases alleged to have occurred after 2002 will be sent to the Vatican later…”19

                Here I was reading this and had that “weak” feeling. Anxiety.

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette had this same story about Monsignor Battista on its frond page “Vatican decides not to defrock retired Monsignor Battista.”

                Kathleen A. Shaw writes: “Worcester-The Vatican has decided against defrocking Monsignor Leo J. Battista, who surrendered his clinical social worker’s license in 1991 after admitting that he had sexual relations with a client when he was her therapist.

                “The Vatican recently told Bishop Robert J. McManus that Monsignor Battista is permanently barred form ministry and cannot present himself as a priest, Raymond L. Delisle, diocesan spokesman, said yesterday. Monsignor Battista, 83, is retired and listed in the official diocesan directory as living at Southgate in Shrewsbury, His last parish assignment was pastor of St. Anna parish, Leominster….”20

                I had a coffee with Jack Keena with Msgr. Batista’s article in the local paper in front of him. Keena related how he had the appointment with Bishop Rueger in 1993 concerning my case. I always wondered Keena’s purpose besides the obvious and how Rueger was so prompt to give him an appointment. Rueger told Keena in his office that the Diocese had received a letter that threatened the diocese with a suit if they didn’t remove me. Rueger said that he had to do in face the suit-which they did anyway. What the diocese had with this was a perfect scenario to use against me with this because everything else was neutralized especially Bishop Harrington’s car accident, Monsignor Manning, Father Paul Foley etc. I was history. Rueger, according to Keena repeated this time as before that there was “so clear a case’ that was nothing else but a classic “snow-job.” It was clear what the diocese had at their hands to do me in for my ministry. Rueger was known to the priest for having a “talking jag” when he had to slant an issue. He had the stage with Keena and anyone else that had any questions. But, people were going to be asking the wrong questions. Keena, I speculate, had been allowed an audience with Rueger for the purpose of finding information out about me and the parish. He was being used, period. 

                It is amazing where I read that Father So-and-So is listed as living at Southgate in Shrewsbury. This is plus living. I live in a “cave” with $400 for housing and no communications whatsoever. One should look up who is able to get to Southgate-certain priests seem to have priority-in the diocesan listing versus the Chancery Building.

                Another aspect that immediately occurred to my reading this story was the information concerning sexual abuse allegations against one priest at the Vatican and 5 other diocesan priests is being prepared now to be sent to the Vatican. Information on the cases of 3 other priests is being prepared now to be sent to the Vatican by the Worcester Diocese. I had to realize that I was “powerless” and not able to do anything. The Chancery was doing their thing. This was where I had to practice The Steps (AA) in another situation. It was basically he said and she said. Here we go against. Another Lenten challenge. I had my worry and anxiety buckets filling-up. What I had to re-learn is immediately in such situation develop “quietness.” What I had to realize was that the Worcester Diocese was facing 4 or 5 lawsuits this fall in the Worcester Superior Courts.

                As they say in The Godfather this is the life we have chosen. This is the issue of “Cost of Discipleship” of Bonhoffer's background. There is a price for being a disciple.  

March 11, 2006

                Priest for some people are a lifelong endeavor they can’t get over with. This past Friday with the Battista story that had another reminder: Don’t talk (quiet time) I should have followed such but reacted on one phone call which I had to hear about since then.  It is my issue” I should not have said anything of my gut feelings for Friday and the Catholic Free Press on Battista. I should have learned by now tomes quiet. But what I should have realized was that I am what I am. Obviously, I came from Mars. I need to realize that I have to step-up against to the Church and society with a message of positive energy. 

March 14, 2006

                “Priest victims’ father to speak: Child sex aubse reforms urged” capered this day in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Kathleen A. Shaw wrote: “Worcester-Retired Tewksbury Police Chief John Mackey, whose daughter was instrumental in getting further prosecution of the Rev. Robert E. Kelley, will be among speakers at today’s Statehouse hearing in Boston on changes in the state’s laws dealing with sexual abuse of children.

                “Mr. Mackey first called for reform of the state laws regarding child sexual aubse at the 2003 sentencing of Rev. Kelley in Worcester Superior Court. He said at the time that chances of getting those changes were ‘slim to one’ because of the strong lob the Catholic Church has in the Legislature. However, three years later the Coalition to Reform Sex Abuse Laws in Massachusetts has mounted heavy lobbing efforts to push for reform and said the bills need to get at of the committee…

                “Several of these advocates will then testy before the Massachusetts. Joint Judiciary Committee on the need to change the statue of limitations for child sexual abuse cases and to remove or alter the $20,000 cap on what the Catholic Church has had to pay to those who were sexually abused by clergy. Other dioceses in the state waived the cap to give larger awards to victims, but the Worcester diocese has stuck to the cap and has given survivors settlements of much lower amounts….”21 

March 17, 2006

                “Cheap grace’ exacts costly toll” appeared in Father Andrew Greeley weekly column in the Chicago Sun-Times.

Greeley write: “Last week, after the Motion Picture Academy decided that ‘Crash’ was the best file of 2005, most American entertainment journalists decreed that in fact it was not the best film. Even the reported for the Irish times joined the chorus, which insisted that the prize way denied to “Brokeback Mountain’ because of homophobia. Others added to this explanation the argument that the distributor of the file had sent DVDs too many members of the Academy so they might actually see it-clearly unfair tactics. Still other charged that since the locale of the film was Los Angeles and environs, the largely Angelino-basked Academy was biased in favor of it. But it was the gay card that was being played.

“The underlying them of all the criticism was that  of all the criticism was that ‘Brokeback’ had the right to the prize because it was about a gay love affair; therefore, members of the Academy were duty-bound to award it top honors, and if they did not, they were guilty of homophobia.

“Thus, the moral blackmail of the canons of political correctness was mobilized to destroy the credibility and the integrity of the Academy. Such blackmail is a disgrace to contemporary American culture. The Academy needs no defense form me. But the ridiculous promotion of politically correct norms is not only patronizing and wrong. It is evil because it demeans the group being patronized. The politically correct have seized the moral high ground and enjoy the benefits that come with cheap grace.

“One does not give any performance a discount because of the race, the gender, the religion, the sexual orientation, or the previous condition of servitude of the performer or the work. I am disgusted by critics who so in the name of leveling the playing field. They are doing no one any favors. I am also disgusted with those who charge that a negative reaction to a work of someone who is in a favored minority group or about such a group is prime facie and definitive evidence of bias.

       “I thought ‘Brokeback’ was a sensitive and sympathetic portrayal of the tragic agonies of homosexual love and wished afterward, as I have said many tem, that my church would state bluntly the primary truth on the subject: God loves gay people as his beloved children as much s he loves straight people as his beloved children. I thought “Crash’ was a panoramic morality take about hate and forgiveness. I’m not a film critic and it is not my role to judge between the tow of them. I leave such decisions to my colleague Robert Ebert-and the Academy, whose job it is to make such decisions…”

This is the atmosphere of the culture we are living in. It is all over the place in the gay issue and judgment issue. 

March 18, 2006

                “8 clergymen are dismissed by the Vatican: Boston-area clerics accused of sexually abusing children” by Michael Levenson and Charles A. Radin of The Boston Globe Web page of boston.com.

                It reads: “The Vatican has dismissed eight Boston-area clerics accused of sexually abusing children, including a monsignor who for two decades was the third-most-powerful official in the Catholic Archdiocese of Boston in addition to six other priests and a deacon, church officials said yesterday.

                “Dismissal form the ministry, which takes effect immediately, means that the men will no long revenge financial support form the archdiocese or be allowed to perform most of the public functions of a Catholic priest.

                “The eight had served for decades across Greater Boston, I school, jails, hospitals, sand churches. Among them was the former vice chancellor of the archdiocese, Monsignor Frederick J. Ryan, who was accused in 2002 of having repeatedly taken tow students