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Come With Me Through The Gates Of Heaven

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Poster Boy Priest

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January 1, 2005

                I had this piece of paper in my breviary that began my day and New Year with this quote from “The Word from Rome” from the National Catholic Reporter by John L. Allen, Jr. of January 16, 2004: “A related concern has to do with due process rights. One hears horror stories in the Vatican about priests who have been suspended as a result of an accusation, and then ‘cut off’ by their bishops, with no further communication and hence no chance for their day in court.”

                I still have this piece of paper in my breviary which I recite daily and look at this quote at different times. I guess I carry this for the simple fact that the hierarchical system must be on the same page as the Worcester Diocese had done with me- no day in court or anything else.

                I, also, thought how the Bishop Harrington hierarchy operated with his “words” of wisdom when he showed more of his overall personality that Hartford-IOL would have experienced for an “evaluation.” One of those “hot house kitchen” interrogations of Harrington, Rueger and Tinsley going at me with Harrington once saying: “We thought there was going to be 1,500 people outside this Bishop’s residence protesting for your return.” It was Harrington at his classic style of being in your face-sarcastic remarks. When I was going through this, I looked at Harrington and recalled how his code-name by priest in the diocese was “bulldog.” Then I recall one elderly priest tell me that at time Bishop Harrington “was sometimes irrational.” These experiences at the Bishop’s Residence were an experience that I would not wish on anyone. 

January 3, 2005

                We read in the U. S.  News & World Report reports “Struggling to Keep the Faith: Reverberations from a sex scandal still roil the Catholic Church.”

                The article reads: “Nearly three years after a series of staggering revelations of sexual abuse but its clergy, the Romans Catholic Church is still working its way through the fallout, with equal amounts of pain and hope. In Boston, where the story first broke, the archdiocese faces financial ruin. More than 80 churches are slated to be closed as church authorities fight a $10 million annual deficit, brought only dying parishes and a 50 percent decline in donations since 2002. Yet for all their anger, area Catholics seem to be clinging eve more tenaciously to their faith, with many parishioners fighting to have the closings reversed. That would include people like Ian Driscoll of St. Anselm I Sudbury, one of eight parishes staging 24-hour protest vigils. Ian is 12. After school, he goes home to eat, do his homework, and practice the trumpet. Then he goes to the church, where he sleeps every night, usually accompanied by his mother. He made plans to skip a Boy Scout trip last weekend so he could spend the night at the church as part of a celebration marking the vigil’s 100th day. ‘When you have something, you don’t care about it as much,’ he says. ‘But once you’re going to lose it, you like it more.’

                “A lot of American Catholics are reacting like Ina. In Boston, an $85 million settlement with more than 500 victims exacerbated and existing crisis for an overextended archdiocese in need of an overhaul.”1

One observation at this time in that so many things and circumstances have changed with the Catholic population and overall aspects of faith as the general society has changed.

An article in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette by Kathleen A. Shaw on the front page reports “Church healing sought: Area Catholics want openness.”

She writes: “Worcester-Worcester Diocese Voice of the Faithful plans to pursue an aggressive agenda during 2005, in hopes of bringing healing and restoring trust in the church and its leaders, and to begin involving lay people in more decision-making for the diocese.

“A planning meeting has been scheduled for 7 p.m. Jan. 18 in the Hogan Conference Center at the College of the Holy Cross. David J. O’Brien, a processor at Holy Cross active in the organization, said in a letter to members and prospective members that the group plans to elect interim officers, set a meeting schedule and decide on short-term and long-term projects.

“Voice of the Faithful was founded in 2002 in the Boston area during the burgeoning sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Church; a chapter opened here that year. It is now a national organization…’There is a tremendous amount of healing that needs to be done.’ (Daniel Dick-Voice of the Faithful Victim Support Coordinator)

 January 4, 2005

                I noticed that I was going through the “old-poor-me” against when I was not getting phone calls at my place form the regular people that would have called to see what I was doing. I thought how this was the American way of life where situation happen and we immediately “move-on” after a week or so. There is very little time spent on an issue because we are known to be people moving in a very fast track. Actually, it was somewhat better for me to have some private time. I made use of my time to do some research with materials I had accumulated and “professional” reading from my library. 

January 7, 2005

                I would look at my daily calendar which was Life’s Little Instruction Calendar Vol. X: Remain optimistic-all hope depends on it.

                Besides recalling such phrases, I had the daily experience of the scriptures especially the Gospel and the Daily Divine Office for quotes that would inspire me in my day.

                I keep this in my memory bank especially when I would get the “poor-me” time.

                A picture is printed in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette entitled “Giving power to victims of sexual abuse.”

                The story with this picture: “Andover-Diane Williams Galebach, right, her husband, Stephen Galebach, and tow of the their children, Adele, 20, left and Time 21, pose yesterday in their home with computer screen displaying their newly launched Web site,, which enables sexual abuse victims to report crimes with anonymity. According to the site’s mission statement, the creators of VictimPower.rog are ‘united by a desire to help victims by connecting them to law enforcement and other authorities in way that protects victims and witnesses, while holding accounting those in positions of authority.’ “3

                “The Word from Rome” in the National Catholic Reporter   this day has John L. Allen, Jr. reporting: “In the last column before my hiatus, I noted that Pope John Paul II had recently praised Fr. Marcial Maciel Degollado and the order he founder, the Legionaries of Christ. With respect to the accusations of sexual abuse logged against Maciel, I wrote: ‘I think the only honest answer is that the pipe and his senior aides obviously do not believe the charges.’

                “That comment brought a response from Jason Berry, who along with fellow journalist Gerald Renner co-authored the book Vows of Silence: the Abuse of Poser in the Papacy of John Paul II, which is in part about the Maciel case.

                “Berry writes: I’m sorry, but there are more honest answers than that. It is just as likely that John Paul II and Cardinal Angelo Solano don’t care if the charges are true. The view the Legion as an asset to protect. The pope has a long record of refusing to punish powerful churchmen who abuse the young, which you fail to mention. John Paul’s support of Maciel is consistent with the response to other men of flawed morals or compromised judgment.

                “’Cardinal Bernard Law resigned after a catalytic role in an epic scandal. John Paul rewarded him with a basilica in Rome. In 1995, he let Vienna’s Cardinal Grover ease into a position at a shrine when he resigned in disgrace as a prederast. As the scandal escalated John Paul would not discuss it in public. When American bishops Symons Ziemann, Sanchez, O’Connell, and Ryan resigned under similar clouds Hon Paul did not remove any from the priesthood. Each is a bishop, albeit as diocese to diocese, today…”4

                Is this how Worcester Diocese treated Rueger’s case of allegations? 

January 8, 2005

                “Stanley’s last accuser decried: Lawyer says alleged victims’ memory came after consultation” by Theo Emery of The Associated Press appeared this day.

                He wrote: “Cambridge-Paul Stanley’s layer said yesterday that the defrocked priest’s last remaining accuser remembered being molested only after he consulted with the Boston law firms that represented hundreds of alleged victims of clergy sexual abuse.

                “Lawyer Frank Mondano said court documents show the accuser contacted the law firm of Greenberg Traurig before the claims to have remembered bring molested by Shanley a key figure in the clergy sex abuse scandal. The man says he recalled being abused by Shanley after the scandal broke in the Boston Archdiocese in early 2002.

                “‘I submit that the reason it looks like a textbook case (of recovered memory) is because it came right out of a textbook,’ Mondano said during a pretrial hearing. ‘People are trying real hard to obfuscate the fact that the cart came before the horse.’

                “Shanley’ lawyer has asked Judge Stephen Noel to let him question the accuser before the beginning of the criminal trail, now scheduled for Jan. 18 in Middlesex Superior Court. The judge did not immediately rule on the request…”5

                Here is “recovered memory” issue which is very infrequently mentioned in print or dealing with anything of the sex abuse cases that has flooded-out into the last decade. It is an issue that is such a negative factor to even attempt to have included in the legal and hierarchical church in regards to allegations of sex abuse. Is “recalled memory” may be such used, why is it not addressed in physical or emotional abuse?

                An article in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette by Kathleen A. Shaw “Diocese cuts its fiscal losses: Deficit reduced by more than half from last year.”

                She writes: “Worcester-The Diocese of Worcester ended the 2004 fiscal year with a loss of $271,300.

                “Although the diocese finished in the red, the losses were significantly less than the previous year, when the diocese had a loss of nearly $800,000…The diocese continued to pay for services related to the clergy sexual abuse scandal. A number of the pending civil lawsuits related sot alleged incidents of sexual abuse were settled in the past year. Several are still pending, and six new suits were recently filed. The diocese said it paid out $131,875 for all legal series it incurred during 2004. The Office of Healing and Prevention received a total of $170,845…”6

                Figures are always interested to read and study. Here is another story.

                I was watching “Saturday Night Live” with Debbie Downer. It immediately came to mind that this character was “Father Peacock” in my journey. It had opened my eyes of who I was facing. 

January 11, 2005

                “Group want names listed on Internet: Organization targeting known, alleged molesters” appeared in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette this day.

                Beverly Wang of The Associated Press wrote: “Manchester, N.H. - A national support group for victims of sexual abuse by Catholic clergy is demanding that church leaders post the names of known and suspected molesters on the Internet.

                “The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, or SNAP, also want bishops to encourage victims to come forward by visiting communities where abusive priests served.

                “Yesterday, the group presented its demands-including that bishops also lobby to eliminate the statue of limitations on reporting abuse-to the Rev. Edward Arsenault, a Diocese of Manchester spokesman.

“The group is focused on New Hampshire Bishop John McCormack and four other formerly deputies of Boston Cardinal Bernard F. Law, who resigned two years ago…”7

                I’m not sure what the point is about publishing names on the Internet. They are all over the internet. I’m not sure that some of these people don’t realize that there are laws on the books that they most likely don’t want to know about. Is this the pick-and-chose mentality getting the media coverage? Questions should be asked in many ways than they are now with this area of news. 

January 13, 2005

                What I have learned of late is to watch “time line” of an issue and realize that there are six reasons for anything that happens. My writing is to get my story out. It is like a bottle bobbing in the ocean, where someone will pick it up and read it.

                I have been reading a couple of works of Carrie Fisher as Postcards from the Edge and The Awful: A Novel. She writes about her addiction battle. I read with a response to some of her issues in her journey.

                Another issue I’ve notice since Bishop McManus has been Ordinary of the diocese: No weekly schedule is printed in the Catholic Free Press of himself or Rueger. This used to be a regular feature of the paper with Bishop Reilly and Rueger’s schedule of “official” activities.  Interesting? Another feature is in the: ”official” clergy announcements are the term “Medical Leave of Absence.” Nothing else is printed about the persons leave. The person becomes history. But, it does getting interesting watching this because the Chancery signals with their “flag” that there is another story here on that individual. It gets the clergy “hot-line” buzzing. 

January 14, 2005

                “The Word from Rome” this week had this segment by John L. Allen, Jr. in the National Catholic Reporter.

                “Rocco Buttinglione, the Italian politician whose nomination as the Justice minister of the European Union was derailed because of his Catholic views on abortion, homosexuality and the family, has become a cause celbre for those who feel that a ‘new inquisition’ is afoot in Europe…In American, Buttinglione said, the stet accepts that it needs values that by itself it cannot procure. In Europe, he said, under the influence of Rosseau and others, the tendency is towards treating the state itself as a civic religion. Further, he sad, American is ‘more modern’ than Europe, in that is that has reached the peak of secularization and the sexual revolution, and has cycled back to more traditional values. He predicted the same thing will happen in Europe in ten years. .. On the American Catholic church, Buttinglione sad that he felt it has been divided between a wing that was corrupted by secularization, like the mainstream Protestant denominations, and a wing that resisted, like the evangelicals, ‘and said that this wing of the church ‘has acquired a greater capacity to give more orientation to the American people.’

                “The sex abuse scandals, Battalion said, ‘are a last consequence of the invasion of the ideology so sexual permissiveness in the 1960s and 1970s.’ He said he hopes ‘they will soon be over, and will leave the church purified.’…”8 

January 16, 2005

                Reading a Ziggy cartoon this day with Ziggy saying: If life’s a game, was having a really long halftime.

                I guess I might say the same with Bishop Harrington telling me: “We’ll get hold of you.” 

January 17, 2005

                I met a former parishioner from St. Edward’s at the Gardner Wal-Marts. Stephanie was involved at the parish. He comment: “There is another side of the story about you. We all knew that most priests are alcoholics. Fr. Andy is gay. But, not you. We just didn’t believe the story about you.”

                I listened and only said to her that she should pray for the priest and send my best to her husband, Roland.

                What I missed the opportunity in this encounter was to ask her about the lawsuit of the Westminster/Princeton Fire Department. Both Stephanie and Roland were firefighters in Westminster and they were not anymore. This would have the one to find-out about the lawsuit issue in town. It would have been interesting to hear the politics of this situation.

                I realize that I have a peculiar mix of confidence and fear operating to keep me on edge. I had to realize that this was the priest-clericalism life style that I experienced since I entered the college-seminary in 1962. I was thinking about this in that I thought and acted as a counterweight of priest power especially to depressed clerics that I had to encounter. I wondered and search for vices that showed mind changes. It was a search that I even continue to this day to learn from their experiences and insights.

                “‘Street priests’ facing criminal trial this week: Shanley accused of child rape 30 years ago” by Denise Lavoie of The Associated Press appeared on the second page of this days Worcester Telegram & Gazette/

                Lavoie writes: “Cambridge-He’s 73 now, and unrecognizable as the  hip ‘street priest’ known more than 20 years ago for wearing long hair and blue eyes and reaching out to Boston’s troubled youth.

                “Paul Shanley is a senior citizen now, frail-looking with thinning white hair and deep lines in his face. His has become perhaps the most recognizable face of the clergy sexual abuse crisis that has shaken the Catholic Church for the past three years.

                “This week, Shanley goes on trail on child rape changes in one of a handful of criminal cases in which  prosecutors have been able to bring against priest accused of sexually abusing children decades ago…”9

                This was the guy that I used to read about in the 70s and his ministry. I recall a story in a Boston paper and pictorial that I had in my file for years before cleaning some of those article and making room in my files. I wondered what ever happened to him. Well, here is “Father Shanley.” 

 January 20, 2005

                There are those little details that come to mind in writing my daily journal. This time was the issue that I was not changing my pajama tops during the night due to preparation. I realized it was all due to nerves and living on the “edge.” It seemed to be better for me to get some quality rest and inner peace.

                I was reading on the crawl of MSNBC how comedian Bill Cosby denied allegations of a woman in Florida of sexual abusing her. Crosby’s lawyer and spokesperson said that they were “categorically false.” Similar story was used to accuse him in March of 2002. Allegations and suits were a part of the radar screen for many people in this day and age.

                But, it was something that from a civic point of views that Westminster-Princeton, Massachusetts Fire Departments had a joint-issue that they kept of the media and lawsuits screen. It never made any news. But, it was something that I mentioned with I spoke with Stephanie at Wal-Marts a previous few days. When something as such happens in a small town, it gets one thinking of a cover-up that would rate as “first-class.” Lewis Black, comedian, would appropriately use one of his trade mark statements: “I’m mad as hell!!!” 

January 21, 2005

                I read in the National Catholic Reporter this interesting article on authority “Leadership and the three-legged stool.

                Paige Byre Shortal writes: “In our kitchen we have tow tall stools where we sit and eat our breakfast. The other day we had to fix one of the stools-one legs was shorter than the other and as a consequence the other tow legs were become weak. One can manage on s stool with uneven legs for a while, even just two legs for a very short time; but for the long haul, three even sturdy legs are best.

                “Leadership is like a stool, dependent on three legs-three sources of authority for the leader to be effective .Like the stool, its best if all three legs are even and sturdy.

                “The first leg or source of authority is from within. It is manifested in desire, gifts, talents, passion, imagination, drive, interest, a vision that won’t go away, an idea that keeps surfacing. I think this is what Christians think of as the call from God and is the first sign of a vocation.

                “The second source of authority comes from above. It is the authorization form the institution, the laying on of hands, the go-ahead from the company, the manger, the employer, the pastor, the bishop, the president, the political party. Very often this source is manifested in a title, office, salary and recognition.

                “The third source comes from below. Those who are under the authority of the leader must be willing to be lead, to cooperate, to not allow their disagreements with the leader to undermine the leader’s authority. For this to happen the people must sacrifice some of their own self-interest and the leader must inspire trust and confidence.

                “I’m no familiar with the world of my church and it’s not difficult to think of church leaders who have two out of the three…In the short run, what we do we do in our parishes with all these unsteady stools? This may be when my metaphor breaks are down-or at least my knowledge of carpentry-but it seems to me that it would be theoretically possible to join several unsteady stools to form one sturdy platform, suitable for resting or reaching higher. Collaboration is the obvious way.”10

                I even had a “Mission Statement” at St. Edward’s that had “collaboration” in word and philosophy. But, here I sit in my “cave.” 

January 22, 2005

                I had picket-up on Bloggers (Blog) of late. I realized how they combined firsthand report, opinions and links to articles about a news topic or related topics as mayoral races to neighborhood meetings. What I have learned is that bloggers first began writing on one’s web about whatever popped into ones head: What kind of day the person was having, the craziness of things like the weather etc. Sometimes, a blogger would comment on a new story that caught ones attention and provided readers with a link to the story.

                What had my attention was that I was doing as such with my daily journaling in a much smaller scale. One thing that I have changed in my journaling is that I immediately type on the Word Program. Previously, I was writing daily on pen and paper and then input it on the Word Program. I guess I was finally getting smart in my old age.

January 25, 2005

                I was reminded today by a former priest classmate of the term “red rash.” It was a label in the seminary and priesthood that a student had the goal of becoming a bishop or strive to become a Monsignor. I heard from one priest of late tell me: You have to give the people what they want. This guy was always on his ego trip in the priesthood. Suddenly, he is using such language. We, priest, used to watch how this guy wanted certain positions-voluntary to be in the chancery with the bishop at meetings. He had the “red rash” to become a Monsignor. One had to watch these characters because they usually did very little pastoral work but meetings in the chancery. Parish duties by these guys were usually delegated to parish staff with practically no new innovations.

                We used to have a manta phrase in the deanery I was in with St. Edward’s parish of guys striving in the “red rash” way: Gamache, Genette and Gariepy.  

January 26, 2005

                “Vatican accepts retirement of Auxiliary Bishop Rueger” appeared on the front page of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Kathleen A. Shaw writes: “Worcester-The Vatican announced yesterday that Pope John Paul II has accepted the retirement of Auxiliary Bishop George E. Rueger.

                “Bishop Rueger, who turned 75 on Sept 3, is retiring because he reached the mandatory retirement age for bishops. He said he intends to stay in the area and will continue to assist at the chancery and participate in Confirmation ceremonies throughout the diocese.

                “The Vatican did not say whether a new auxiliary bishop will be appointed.

                “The dioceses ahs had two auxiliary bishops: Bishop Timothy J. Harrington, who served with Bishop Bernard J. Flanagan, and Bishop Rueger, who served with three bishops…

“In 2002, Bishop Rueger was named in a civil suit by a Shrewsbury man, Sime M. Braio, alleging sexual misconduct. The case was dismissed at Mr. Braio’s request in 2003, after no evidence surface indication that Bishop Rueger had done anything improper or had been where the alleged incidents occurred.

                “He is named in a Texas lawsuit in which tow men, named only as John Doe and John Doe II, allege sexual abuse by the Rev. Thomas Teczar, a priest of the Worcester Diocese. The allegation is that Bishop Rueger helped get Rev. Teczar moved to the Fort Worth, Texas, diocese after Rev. Teczar was accused of sexual misconduct with minors in the Worcester area.

                “Correspondence shows that the late James G. Reardon, diocesan layer at the time, wanted Rev. Teczar moved out of the state and quickly incardinated into another diocese to remove liability for the alleged misconduct from the Worcester dioceses. That suit is ongoing. 

January 28, 2005

                Then we get from the Catholic Free Press-front page headlines “At 75, Bishop Rueger steps down: Served as Diocese’s auxiliary for 18 years, under three bishops.”

                The story reads: “After 47 years of service to the Diocese of Worcester, 18 of them as its auxiliary bishop, Bishop Rueger has resigned.

                “But he still will be coming to work.

                “‘I’ll be around,’ he said Wednesday. ‘As time goes on there will be some adjustment of the work load....’

                “The bishop submitted his resignation to the Vatican after he reached the mandatory age of retirement 75, on Sept. 3, 2004. This week the papal nuncio for the United States Archbishop Gabriel Montalyo announced that Pope Paul II accepted the resignation.

                “Upon learning of the Vatican’s acceptance, Bishop Rueger noted, ‘I am most grateful to God for the many years He permitted me to minister both as a priest and bishop. Today, I thank Bishop McManus and Bishop Reilly for their kindness, all of my brother priests and our religious for their support and the wonderful laity in our diocese. I will continue to assist at the Chancery and participate in the Confirmation and ceremonies in the Dioceses.’

                “‘Today, the Diocese of Worcester has reached another important point in its history,’ Bishop McManus said in a written statement.

                “ ‘After nearly 18 years of faithful and dedicated ministry as auxiliary bishop, our Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, ahs accepted the resignation of His Excellency, Most Reverend George E. Rueger, D.D., turned 75 years old, the mandatory age of retirement age for bishops.

“‘Since my installation as the fifth bishop of Worcester, Bishop Rueger has been exemplary in helping me to become acquainted with the Diocese of Worcester. As a native some, respected priest, and zealous auxiliary bishop, Bishop Rueger has provided the People of God in the Diocese of Worcester years of devoted pastoral ministry…”12

                The rest of this article was the regular run-down of Rueger’s assignments, titles-chairperson and awards-Bishop Rueger Fund for the Poor. Nothing was mentioned of the law suits as the T & G had in their article on Rueger. I was not surprised with any of that seeing The Free Press was the bishop’s paper.

                This same paper had a small section-article “Four priests in Boston Archdiocese are laicized.”

                It reads: “Boston (CNS)-The Vatican has laicized four Boston priests who were accused of sexually abusing minors, the Boston Archdiocese said Feb 11. It said Rev. Robert D. Fay, Kelvin E. Iguabita, Bernard J. Lane and Robert A. Ward Jr. may not ‘function in any capacity as a priest with the exception of offering absolution to the dying,’ and they ‘cease to receive any financial support form the diocese.’ Laicization is removal from the clerical state. Iguabita, 36, has been imprisoned since 2003, when he was sentenced for he rape of a teenage girl, Lane, 70, was removed form parish ministry in 1993 as a result of alleged abuse of minors I the 1970s but returned to limited ministry in a retired priests’ home until his own retirement, Fay, 68, had been on sick leave since 1988 in wake of accusations from the 1970s and ‘80s. Ward, 58, was suspended in 2002. He reportedly had a single allegation of abuse of a minor against him, but according to The Boston Globe church records also indicated drug abuse and use of child pornography from the Internet.”13

                Then the National Catholic Reporter “Word from Rome” by John L. Allen, Jr. wrote: “Most Americans probably regard the sexual abuse norms adopted by the U.S. bishop’s in2002, the heart of which is the ‘one strike’ policy, as by now more or less written in stone, a permanent part of the church’s response to the crisis. In fact, however, those norms ere approved by the Vatican only for two years and that trail period are up in March. What happens next is unclear. (Besides the bodies already floating in the Tiber)

                “A ‘mixed commission’ of Vatican officials and American bishops to discuss the norms will meet in Rome in the offices of the Congregation for Clergy, Jan. 31-Feb. 1.

                “Concerns linger about the norms-about the fairness of the ‘one strike’ policy, the definition of the ‘sexual abuse,’ the routine lifting of the statue of limitations and various due process issues-though opinion is divided both in Rome and in America. Some canonists and Vatican officials, and most American Bishops, believe the norms are working and should be continued largely as they stand. Other Vatican officials, however, and many overseas bishops, remain opposed.

                “Sources told NCR I late January that the meeting of the mixed commission is not necessarily expected to produce a decision, but to air experiences and concerns on both sides.

                “‘It’s a follow-up and evaluation,’ a senior Vatican official told NCR Dec. 28. This official said that this meeting mayor may not produce a document, depending on how serious the revisions decided upon by the group turn at to be.

                “One open question is what happens to the existing norms if March comes and goes without Vatican reauthorization. Some canonists say the new American rules would thereby expire, ‘and we would returnee to the status quo ante, though a lot older and wiser,’ as one put it. Under the previous standard, you were not uniform national legislation, and no guarantee of a ‘one-strike- approach. (No kidding: Guilty till proven innocent. We’ll call you.-Bishop Harrington)

                “Others, however, believe the norms would stay in force until revised or formally withdrawn…”14

                Then Commonweal published in their January issue “A Gay Priests Speaks Out: the Vatican, homosexuals & holy orders” by Rev. Gerald Thomas.

                Thomas writes: “Sometimes in the next few months, the Vatican will issue much-anticipated documents addressing the issue of whether gay men can be ordained priests. The policy is being written by the Congregation for Catholic Education in preparation fro the upcoming Vatican ‘apostolic visitation’ of seminaries in the United States, the in-dept review that is part of the Vatican’s response to the sexual-abuse crisis.

                “Exactly what Rome will say is unclear. Some observers predict an outright ban on admitting homosexuals to seminaries and religious orders; others foresee less drastic restrictions. No one, however, expects the Vatican to issue a warm welcome to gay men who feel called to the priesthood. But while banning or severely restricting gay men in orders would surely delight those U.S. Catholics who blame gay priests for the sexual-abuse crisis or have been railing against the ‘gay subculture’ in the clergy, to a gay priest like myself, the imminent release of this document looms like terrible, if not entirely unexpected, news from the doctor.

                “It is also represents a serious moral error.

                “Few doubt that the impetus behind the Vatican’s proposed statement is the sexual-abuse crisis that has convulsed the Catholic Church in America for the past three years. And if American Catholics took note that the crime overwhelmingly concerned priests proving on young boys and adolescent males, those in Rome drew unwarranted dedications form those facts, prompting some Vatican officials to take aim at all homosexuals in the priesthood. As Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said in March 2002, ‘People with these inclinations just cannot be ordained.’

                “Yet many men with such ‘inclinations’ are already ordained. To be sure, no reliable data exist about the number of gay priests in the United States, and estimates very widely. Many bishops and religious superiors who are either embarrassed by the presence of gay priests under their jurisdiction or who deny their existence, and understandably skittish about conducting research that would confirm the presence of homosexual priests in the church. (My completely anecdotal impression is that probably 25 percent of priests are homosexual.) Still, even if research were conducted, it is unlikely that gay priests would feel comfortable participating. Fran answers might jeopardize their ministry, especially since some bishops seem to equate homosexuality with pedophilia. ‘We feel a person who is homosexual-orientated is not a suitable candidate for the priesthood, even if he had never committed any homosexual act,’ said Cardinal Anthony Bevilacoqua, archbishop of Philadelphia, in April 2002.

                “In addition to the lack of data, a strict code of silence concerning homosexual priests has been imposed. Bishops and religious superiors have forbidden many priests from speaking, writing, or preaching about their homosexuality. (This is the reason I am using a pseudonym for this article: I have been instructed not to speak publicly about my sexual identity.) Thus gay priests like me are caught in a double bind. If we speak the truth and discuss freely our existence in the church, and, more important our experience of leading fulfilling lives as celibate men, we will be censured or removed from ministry. If we remain silent, thought, we guarantee that the positive example of the celibate gay priest will remain hidden. Voiceless, the gay priest cannot defend himself with the church. Stereotyped, he cannot escape the suspicions of society at large.

                “Yet on this subject, as in so many other areas, the church needs to embrace more transparency, not more silence. Fro celibate gay priests, priests, like all of God’s people, have an important story to tell…”15

                One observation has to be inserted here by me: I was a heterosexual priest that had to struggle with a “culture” that was not normal living in a rectory with my ministry-start story (gossip or otherwise) about an individual that branded or crippled one’s priesthood. One never had an inner peace living in those conditions. 

January 30, 2005

                I came across this in my reading this day: We could have 70 days without food, nearly 10 days without water, 6 minutes without air, but not all without hope.

                My idealistic priesthood was a reality check as losing “hope” of some nature. My attitude in writing this work was finally having an ignition of revised hope in my life.  

January 31, 2005

                I have done a substantial amount of recreation reading on Modernism period in the Catholic Church (1907- ) of Fr. George Tyrell, S.J. and Edmond Bishop (layman) writings and biographies. It was opening insights that I sue to hear about in my studies that were realities in my present days. The promises and perils of present-day activities were predicted by these people and a number of others in the Modernism controversy.

                I spoke with a guy this day that was telling me information that he spoke to me about the previous day. I listened and realized that he did recall telling me the same information-exactly- the day before at dinner in his home. It was, on his part, informing me of a situation for a first time. I was in a “blackout” yesterday and this day.

                I was looking and listening to him and thinking: Oh! My God. This was me many years back. I was in blackouts and functioning professionally and personally. It scared me.  

February 3, 2005

                I noticed that I was writing with more clarity in my reflections and insights. It was something I noticed in my overall thinking of my experiences. I was disciplining myself to write in between 2 to 2 ½ hours at a time. My shoulders and back were sore. I needed to do something else away from the computer to do some stretching or walk. I needed to clear my mind. But there were times that I struggled to do any writing. Other times, I would be in what I called a “roll” with a good attitude to accomplish some quality time. I was disciplining myself to develop a method and overall style. It affected my personhood to exemplify honesty, quality and steadfast purpose.

                There are times that I wonder about the whole church things with this sex abuse crisis and my experience. It is a situation, I believe, is like a fart in a spacesuit. 

February 4, 2005

                We get this day in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Super Bowl ad pulled by Ford.
                David Bauder of The Associated Press writes “New York-Ford Motor Co. on Wednesday abruptly yanked a planned Super Bowl advertisement that depicted a clergyman tempted by a new pickup truck after some clergy sex abuse victims complained the ad made light of their trauma.

                “The company wants to keep the focus on its new tuck model rather than controversy, said Sara Tatchio, spokeswoman for Ford’s Lincoln division.

                “The ad shows a set of car keys placed on a collection plate; the clergyman then finds a new Lincoln Mark LT truck in the parking lot. When the car’s owner shows up, his little girl smiling and poking her head from behind, the implication is that the child had dropped the keys in the plate.

                “The clergyman hands over the keys, ad is then shown adding the letters L-T to a message board advertising an upcoming sermon-on lust.

                “The Chicago-based Survivors Networks of those Abused by Priests believed the little girl’s presence in the ad with the clergyman and the worked ‘lust’ had sexual overtones, and that Lincoln was playing off news of religious sex scandals to sell cars. The survivors group urged Ford to pull the ad and within hours of their complaint the company obliged.

                “‘It shows their compassion and I think will spare lots of people a great deal of pain,’ said Barbara Balne, Snap’s president…”16

                The National Catholic Reporter today carried the story Vatican prosecutor weighs in on sex abuse: Article calls for end to statue of limitations in abuse cases.”

                John L. Allen, Jr. writes: “While many of the church’s judicial proceedings occur in secret, the Vatican’s chief prosecutor, in a rare public commentary, ahs called for the elimination any statue of limitations on sex abuse offenses, and had classified the possession of child pornography as a form of ‘sexual abuse.’

                “He also suggests that sexual contact with a post-pubescent adolescent, albeit a minor under 18, may call for a different legal and pastoral response than the sexual abuse of a young child.

                “The comments from Msgr. Charles Scicluna, promoter of justice for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, and hence the Vatican official with primary responsibility for handling sex abuse cases, came in an article published in the September 2004 issue of the newsletter of the Canon Law Society of Great Britain and Ireland..

                “In the article, Scicuna, a Maltese priest, outlines his office’s procedure for handling ‘grave delicits,’ meaning serious offense under the Code of Canon Law, which as of a 2002 motu prorio, meaning a documents under the pope’s own authority, includes the sexual abuse f a minor. Scicuna also offered interpretation of various points.

                “Church law has never clearly defined ‘sexual abuse,’ but Scicluna explains the practice of his office in evaluating cases.

                “An offense ‘does not mean only physical contact or direct abuse, but includes indirect abuse also (for example: showing pornography to minors; lewd indecent exposure in front of minor),’ Scicuna writes…”17

                Then another article in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Shanley jury begins deliberations: Accuser’s recovered memories of sex abuse debated by lawyers.”

                Denise Lavoie of The Associated Press writes: “Cambridge-A jury briefly deliberated the fate of defrocked priest Paul R. Shanley yesterday after hearing lawyers in the case clash over the validity of the repressed memories his accuser sad came to him decades after the sexual abuse allegedly took place.

                “The jury deliberated for all of 30 minutes when the judge sent members home from the day. They were to return to Middlesex Superior Court today to resume deliberations.

                “Earlier yesterday, Shanley’s lawyer in closing arguments contented the accuser’s allegations were orchestrated by personal injury lawyers, while a prosecutor argued the man’s memories of the alleged rape and molestation were too agonizing to be lies.

                “Shanley’s lawyer said the alleged victim’s 20-yeasr-old memories of being raped by Shanley as a young boy were planted by a friend, who also had accused Shanley of abuse, and then exploited by lawyers who filed a lawsuit for him.

                “‘The core facts in this case are just not true,’ said lawyer Frank Mondano.

                “The man, now a 27-year-old firefighter in a Boston suburb, testified Shanley began raping him while he was in the second grade, taking him out of religious-education classes for discipline and raping him in the confessional.

                “But Mondano po9nted to the testimony of two of the man’s Catholic religion instructors, who said they didn’t recall Shanley ever pulling students from class and that students didn’t go to confession until fourth grade.

                “Monano said the man contacted personal jury lawyers soon after he recovered his memories in February 2002. The lawyers filed a lawsuit ion his behalf three months later. The man received $500,000 in a settlement with the Boston Archdiocese last May…”18 

February 7, 2005

                I visited my relatives in Maspeth-N.Y. City. It was the regular “What happened in your case?” conversation at the kitchen table having a cup of coffee. My cousin’s husband, David, was pressing the topic. I mentioned the “blackout” experience. David immediately said: “Than, you did it (allegations).” He took his coffee and left the table. I was not able to explain anything more nor did I try. The next two days were testy in my visit with him. It was a learning experience of what to talk about with those allegations and the bigger picture. People had there minds made-up. Oh! These relatives, I had not heard from nor seen for over 30 years until that visit. 

February 11, 2005

                I was listening to the radio with news from Worcester about an interview with Bishop McManus. The point I was somewhat taken-back with was that the bishop said priest on Administrative Leave are not able to wear their Roman Collars in public. It was something that I had the “pit” feeling in my stomach. What is ironic was that I didn’t wear the collar unless I was doing priestly ministry as saying Mass, visiting the sick in the hospital. It did affect me. I was somewhat surprised with this “pit” feeling.

                Against, nothing is ever addressed about the “priest victim” in being treated by the hierarchy and the medial

                The National Catholic Reporter carried a book review entitle “The intractable Catholic church” of Faith That Dares to Speak by Donald Cozzens.

                This book was reviewed by Dennis M. Doyle who wrote: “Fr. Donald Cozzens, a well-respected figure in contemporary Catholic circles, reflects deeply on the state of church in the wake of the sex abuse crisis. He contemplates first the internal fears and external structures that keep people from speaking out and making needed changes. He then turns to consider broad-scale changes already set in motion.

                “Fr. Cozzens’ powerful writing displays his mastery of skills in spiritual direction, pastoral counseling and conflict resolution. He spent time fostering and maintaining in his reading a meditative state of consciousness. He wants to encourage people to listen humbly and attentively and to speak courageously and frankly.

                “As bad as or worse than the actual sex abuse committed by priests has been the response of secrecy and transfer and cover-up by some bishops and those who assisted them. Fr. Cozzens links these behaviors with a culture of clericalism rooted in the continuance of feudal structures. The practices needed to maintain this culture include paternalism, blind loyalty, authoritarianism and insensitive disregard of those not in the club. Pope Pius X articulated the underlying vision when he described the church, in essence, as a society of unequal.

                “Fr. Cozzens sees the vision of Vatican II as one of a community of co-equals disciples. (I was educated and believed this concept. Totally false in reality.) All the baptized are member of the people of God. Any distinctions in roles are made within this basic framework and should take nothing away from this sense of mutuality. In Fr. Cozzens’ judgment, however, powerful forces within the church have been retreating from the councilor vision. The road ahead lies in empowering the laity through changes of heart and structure. The church of secrecy and cover-up and abuse of power needs to be overtaken by the church of openness, dialogue and respect…Fr. Cozzens tends to dichotomize between humble people who want needed changed and arrogant people who fearfully reject change…”19

                Kathleen A. Shaw wrote this day in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Bishop Gay’s abuse by clergy was ‘great injustice’ to victims.”

                She stated: “Worcester-Bishop Robert J. McManus of the Catholic Diocese of Worcester yesterday acknowledged that a ‘great injustice’ was done to victims of clergy sexual abuse in this diocese, and he pledged to continue working for healing and restoration of trust.

                “His remakes came as he announced that a recent audit done at the behest of the National Review Board of the United States Catholic Bishops has found that the diocese is in full compliance with the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People.

                “The Gravin group of Boston, which audited every diocese in the United Stated for the past tow years, gave no recommendations for improvement. The group conducted the audit here Dec. 6 through 10. The first audit was done June 23 through 27, 2003.

                “‘At the conclusion of this compliance audit, the diocese was found to be compliant with all articles of the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People,’ the audit states.

                “ ‘I am pleased to see that this audit has once against confirmed the commitment our diocese has made to healing for those who seek the church’s assistance and restoring trust to the faithful community as a whole,’ the bishop said.

                “‘A great injustice was done to those victims of sexual abuse by members of sexual abuse by members of the church. While there is no simple answer on how to foster healing in their lives, we join with the rest of the church in expressing our sorrow for the pain which was inflicted upon them and their families,’ Bishop McManus said…”20

                In the Worcester Telegram & Gazette section “People’s Forum” printed a letter from Daniel E. Dick of Worcester: “Many Catholics press for self-determination: I hope the Catholics were paying attention to the president’s State of the Union speech, in which he talked so forcefully about the aspiration of people for self-determination, about a direct role in choosing the form of government, and a real voice in writing and ratifying the constitution on which that government is based.

                “As growing number of Catholics are pressing for such a government in their church. The days of arbitrary and capricious decision-making by a self-chosen select few are drawing to a close.

                “The bigger obstacle in the way has been the current pope and the members of the hierarch who gave him blind obedience.

                “In the early days of office, the pope came at strongly in support of the worker movement in his native Poland to overthrow the dictatorship in place and replace it with a democratic form of government. Since then, however, he has turned about-face by trying to stifle similar movements for freedom in the Americas, has stubbornly opposed the needed reforms in the church and has persisted in denying women their rights given in baptism.

                “The good he has done will unfortunately be tarnished by this record of suppression.

                “Catholics how live in the modern world will not wait for a papacy to wake up. As Lee Iacocca said, ‘If you can’t lead, follow, and if you can follow, get the heck out of the way.”21

                On had to watch just this day of the NCR and the “letter” that one needs something as they had in World War II-Pacific Theater- the Navaho Indian Code makers to carry on a campaign of renewal.  

February 13, 2005

                I was reading on the Internet Ron Rolheiser, OMI this timely column of his: ”Gethsemane-a Place to learn a lesson.”

                Rolheiser writes: “…there’s nothing wrong with wanting health, success, beauty, power, glamour, money or fame. Of themselves, there are good and can, if used properly help God’s glory shine through in ordinary life. But they can also be dangerous and can just as easily corrupt, inflate, and weaken rather than strengthen character. We want these things, but they aren’t always good for us.

                “Ironically, the reverse is also true. We don’t want failure, humiliation, sickness, powerlessness, poverty, or inferiority of any kind. Yet these, more than success and glamour, are what produce character and dept inside us. We see this, for instance, in a family who has a handicapped member. It’s this person who gives the family character and dept. The son or daughter who’s the professional athlete or the wonderfully beautiful fashion-model bring glory into eh family, but not necessarily character. Character comes from something else.

                “If we examine ourselves with courage and honesty, we will see that almost all the things that have made us deep and given us character are the very things we’re often ashamed of: a plain body that won’t let us stand out in a crowd; a quirky family whose habits can only be understood from the inside; a frustrating job where our real talents can never merge because we don’t have the right education or the right opportunities; a troubled history within which there have been too many instances where we were the dumb one, the weak one, the sick one, the excluded one, the fat one, the slow one, the one chosen last when sides were drawn up, the one who without a date on a Friday night, and the one who got beaten up on the playground. Beyond that, we’ve also been forever the frustrated one, the one who despite the burning ache for the greatness, has never and will never create the masterpiece, write the symphony, or dance on a world stage.

                “But character and dept aren’t given for scoring goals in the World Cup, for winning Oscars in Hollywood, or for being so successful or beautiful that you become an icon for an adoring public. Character and kept are given for coping with powerlessness, inferiority, and humiliation that are for. For finding that deeper place inside of you where you can make a happy peace with the fact that your mother is too fat, that your father never blessed you, that you were abused, that the school bully humiliated you in front of your friends, that you were always the outsider, and that even today you live a life of quiet desperation wherein sickness, addictions, dark family history, loneliness, and inadequacies of every kind are barely kept at bay. There’s an innate connecti0on between attaining a certain level of dept and having experienced a certain level of humiliation. That’s one of the lessons of Gethsemane…22

                This does fit into my journey of late. I needed to read such an article. 

February 18, 2005

                “Listening to victims is key, speaker says” appeared on the front page of the Catholic Free Press.

                Tanya Connor reported: “Worcester- Listen to the victim survivors.

                “Whether you’re a bishop, a mediator or a member of a parish.

                “That’s what a former judge who gets victims and offenders together advocated last week in a talk at the College of the Holy Cross.

                “Janine P. Greske, a law professor and director of the Restorative Justice Initiative at Marquette University Law School, spoke Feb. 9 about ‘Restoration Justice: A Model for Response to Clergy Abuse.’

                “The former Wisconsin Supreme Court judge’s talk followed one about the laity by Judge Anne Burke. Judge Burke is the former interim chair of the United States Bishops’ National Review Board for the Protection of Children and Young People. The Center for Religion, Ethics and Culture at Holy Cross sponsored both talks, which were part of the series ‘Beyond Brokenness: Healing, Renewal and the Church.’

                “Judge Greske set the stage for her comments about the clergy sexual abuse crisis by talking more generally about how she uses a restorative justice process to get victims and offenders together. The idea is to help victims and offenders together. The idea is to help victims heal and to help offenders understand the harm they have caused and do something about it.

                “When a crime occurs, harm is caused and thee is a breach of relationship, she said. The victim, community and offender, and people connected with them are all affected. Restoration justice works toward restoration by getting the three parties involved with each other as much as possible, she said.

                “She used the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa as an example, and said New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and most states in the United States have sort of restorative justice program…”23

                Why is it when I read this that I think it is all about money, money and money and/or an agenda against the Catholic Church.  It is very noble cause in another place. Check the circumstances here in Worcester Diocese with authority and power in a classic fashion of a feudal system with paternalism personified using a Poster Boy model.  

February 19, 2005

                I was visiting my tax-man, Joseph Simoncini in Shrewsbury office. He made an eye-opening comment to me where he said the priest sex abuse scandal in the Worcester Diocese was: “It’s all political.” Why I was surprised to hear him was the fact that I know he plays golf with a number of diocesan clergy.

                I was reflecting on my attitude: Keeping strong and “hope” going where I am 61 but thinking young. Love is in my thoughts as being very important of loving life. Trying to get a more appropriate aspect of self-esteem with some hard exercise. I realized my deep sense of belonging. I’m finding this in my weekly AA meetings-Tuesday and Thursday- and friends that I visit or call. Assuming the best is yet to come.

                I had a very interesting phone call from Mrs. Lola Leger of Westminster. She was talking that she was talking today with a person that is a parishioner of St. Edward’s that “likes you.” I always realized that being a pastor there was the 10 percent rule: 10 percent liked you, 10 percent disliked you and 80 percent say “Who?”

                So, Mrs. Leger tells me that this person told her: “If you’re not gay, they, the diocese won’t do anything for you.” Now, I’m not sure why this was told me or what the contents that this individual was relating this to Mrs. Leger. The issue was that I had my parish removed from me. It was a death: Shock, disbelief, denial, denial, emptiness, anxiety, guilt, anger and pre-occupied with memories of my years as pastor of St. Edwards was daily my roller-coaster.

                So, I listened but made sure not to say anything that would be used against me. It was a time where even if one is careful in such a story of mine that people pass on stories that were not of my making but that individuals perception and own talking.

                I was working my research and writing of not assuming things but listen, read and ask questions on issues of this crazy time of “The Priest.” 

February 22, 2005

                Kathleen A. Shaw gives us this day “Dicoese faces conspiracy suit in abuse case: Healing is Thursday in Texas in case involving Rev. Teczar.”

                She writes: “Two Texas men have accused the Catholic Diocese of Worcester and the Diocese of Fort Worth, Texas, of conspiring to help the Rev. Thomas H. Teczar slip in and out of tow states to avoid arrest on criminal charges of sexually abusing underage boys.

                “The pair filed suit in Tarrant County District Court in Fort Worth alleging the Rev. Teczar, who was a priest in the Worcester diocese, sexually abused them while he was serving parishes in Ranger, Texas.

                “The dioceses of Worcester and Fort Worth have submitted a motion for summary judgment to dismiss the suit. They argue that the suits were filed after the statue of limitations had expired. A hearing on that motion is scheduled for 9 a.m. Thursday in the Fort Worth court.

                “Rev. Teczar, who now lives in Dudley, denied the allegations and said he does not know the man identified in court documents as John Doe II.

                “‘I never met him. I never even talked to him. I never touched him,’ he said in a telephone interview yesterday. Rev. Teczar, who previously refused to publicly discuss accusations against him, is representing himself in the suit.

                “He sad he has read the material submitted in the case and that when taken line by line, the lawsuit is pathetic.’

                “‘He said he knows the man identified as John Doe I ‘only from the gas station’ in Ranger, a small town in northern Texas where the sexual abuse is alleged to have occurred.

                “Rev. Teczar, who remains a priest but is prohibited by the church from performing any priestly duties, reminded a questioner that the American legal system is based on the premise that an accused man is innocent until proven guilty. The two men have submitted no evidence suppurating thief claims that they were abused, he maintained.

                “The suit names both dioceses, Bishop Joseph P. Delaney of Forth Worth, individually and as bishop, Rev. Teczar, and Auxiliary Bishop George E. Rueger of Worcester as an individual, accusing him of intervening to help get Rev. Teczar moved to Fort Worth diocese. The auxiliary bishop, who is due to retiree from that position in September, has denied the allegation…”24

                What had my eyes open wide was that Teczar was representing himself in court and he was giving such statements to the press? I’m sure we will get more stories on this story. 

February 25, 2005

                “The Word from Rome” in the National Catholic Reporter by John L. Allen, Jr. reported” Beyond my own talks, the Congress gives me a chance to hears presentations by a wide array of Catholic luminaries, many, many of them friends and colleagues.

                “This year, for example, I sat in on part of Suspicion Fr. Gerald Coleman’s session on the sexual abuse crisis. Coleman brings an informed perspective, having served for 16 years as President/Rector of St. Patrick’s Seminary and University in Menlo Park, Calif. And is currently on sabbatical at the Carmelite Monastery in Carmel, Calif. Coleman has written a number of books on moral and pastoral theology as well as medical ethics.

                “Coleman offered a detailed overview of the American crisis, making a number of interesting observations along the way. Fro example, he noted that virtually none of the accusations lodged so far concerned behavior while a candidate for the priesthood was in the seminary. The abuse happened once the abuser was out in the field, under much less supervision and often with little ‘support system.’ Obviously, a seminarian is not quite the authority figure an ordained priest is, and perhaps has less capacity to act on the impulse to abuse, Granted, too, the formation offered in seminarians’ point is that by and large the seminary system managed to ‘keep things under control,’ suggesting that the isolation and lack of supervision of priestly life is one of the factors that fueled the crisis.

                “At the end of his talk, Coleman suggested that what’s needed is a balance between the presumption of innocence and protecting the good names of accused priests, alongside an aggressive commitment to ensuring that children are not abused. He argued that permanent removal from ministry, under the terms of the American procedural norms, is not so much a matter of ‘punishment’ as it is about protecting the church, and especially children, from the risk of recidivism.

                “At the same time, Coleman introduced a neologism into the debate- ‘charter creep,’ referring to the tendency to treat any accusation of sexual misconduct against a priest as if it were sexual abuse of a minor, ever when it’s matter of acts between consenting adults. Obviously, Coleman was to calling for laxity regarding violations of the knows of celibacy, but he insisted that legally and morally, the abuse of a child, and a sexual act with a consenting adult, are different situations calling for different remedies…”25

                To cut to the chase, as soon as any priest was allegated they were gone. There were a very, very few exceptions overall. It was a death-sentence for a priest to be allegated by anyone’s word.  

February 26, 2005

                Kathleen A. Shaw gives us this day “Teczar awaits ruling on psychologist” in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Shaw writes: “A judge in Fort Worth, Texas, yesterday took under advisement testimony taken during the last tow day on whether to accept as expert’s two clinical psychologists being called in a civil lawsuit against the Catholic dioceses of Worcester and Fort Wroth and tow bishops.

                “Two Texas men, Listed as John Doe I and John Doe II, allege they were sexually abused by the Rev. Thomas H. Teczar, a priest of the Worcester diocese in 1988 and took an assignment in the Fort Worth diocese. Khan Merritt, the lawyer for John Doe II, alleged in the lawsuit that the Worcester and Fort Worth diocese conspired to get Rev. Teczar in and out of both dioceses after misconduct allegations were made.

                “Ms. Merritt of Dallas, the lead lawyer in the suit, wants to call John Daignault of Braintree and Rycke Marshall of Dallas, both forensic clinical psychologists, to testify on behalf of the men bringing the suit. They believe it is possible for a victim of sexual abuse to repress memories of traumatic events…”26 

March 1, 2005                  

                I was trying to streamline my writing technique. I approached the researched articles that I saved in my file to sue if they were more direct to the subject matter of the Worcester Diocese and area. I included an article of world-wide viewpoint to put light on an incident in the diocese. I used more “letters-to-the-editor” after reading all of them before I would start writing the text format.           

                I have been using the split-screen of the Word Program in writing the text. It has been most helpful in cross-referencing and forcing me to pick-up the temp of my writing.

                Since, I adapted this streamlining; I have long-hand written my footnotes to input in a future time. This will be the tedious part of this writing.  

March 3, 2005

                I was “just thinking” how the present society is living in being geared for “results” and not “process.” It is the political atmosphere of the right having dominance of saying one thing but, in reality, doing something else. I sense that we can forget any process of personhood developing through the atmosphere of the day. I have made an effort to read Fog of Facts: Searching for Truth in the Land of Spin by Larry Beinhart. It helps me with my theory: Where is the string that goes around the corner attached too. 

March 4, 2005

                This we get from the National Catholic Reporter “Editorials: ‘Full compliant’ doesn’t equal accountability.”

                It states: “Catholics should be grateful for the release of the 2004 Annual Report on implementation of the Charter fro the Protection of Children and Young People Combined with last year’s report, the 2004 John Jay College of Criminal Justice study on the ‘scope of the crisis,’ and the so-called Bennett Report on its causes, the survey of diocesan child-protection programs released Feb. 18 sheds additional light on diocesan efforts to combat sex abuse.

                “It is a good thing it does, given that more than 1,000 allegations of se abuse by priest and deacons were made last year, according to data gathered by Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate that was included in the204 Annual Report.

                “It takes nothing away from the survey of diocesan child-protection programs, however, to note that such documents have been repeatedly misused by those who want to say or imply that the ‘crisis is over.’ The danger, as it has been with each of these reports, studies and surveys, is that the findings will be oversold. Which is exactly what is happening?

                “Throughout the country diocesan public relations professionals went into full spin mode. Headlines in church papers trumpeted the findings: ‘Archdiocese Found in Full Compliance with U.S. Bishops’ Charter (St. Paul-Minneapolis The Catholic Spirit), ‘Full Compliance and Commendation Result From Gavin  Group Audit of Archdiocese’ (The Georgia Bulletin, newspaper of the Atlanta Archdiocese), ‘L.A. Urged to be in Full Compliance with Bishops’ Charter (The Tidings). And so on and so on and so on.

                “Much of this is hooey.

                “First ‘full compliant’ is simply oversell. It is like being ‘fully pregnant.’ You either or you are not. The advert is added for public relations purposes, designed to reassure a skeptical public.

                “Next, the work of the Gavin Group and Boston based firms hired by the bishops to review diocesan programs, is neither ‘independent’ nor an ‘audit,’ at least to the extent that the words are combined. These precise terms of art in the according world have been adopted to create an impression of objectivity and competence... A certified public accounting firm claiming ‘independence’ of an ‘audit’ faces sanctions based on well-established industry standards based on well-established industry standards if it fails to live up to the claim. Not so with the Gavin Group, which is not an accounting firm and is not required to abide by any external independent audit guidelines?

                “In fact, the bishops Office of Child and Youth Protection recruited the Gavin Group because its principal, William A. Gavin, combined a reputation for excellence with a good price. ….IN the church community, after all, the body f the church doesn’t get the opportunity to vote out an offending bishop or fire a lousy CEO.”27

                This editorial is blistering with “accountability.” But the issue of “power and authority” is the issue that I have been addressing in this work. One had to live in it to see another view that many would not think may exist in this day and age-mainly a feudal system.

                I also think about one family in Westminster-the Robuccio’s- who told me one day that they go to church, but then go home and do what they want to do. This was one of the most honest comments I heard in my time at St. Edward’s.  

March 5, 2005

                I have noticed of late that I do not bear the fear and unpleasantness of going to area flea markets or stores of late. I have always been a sensitive person. It has been some time since 1993. I have struggled in wondering what I would say is I met someone I knew. I developed a few phrases-about time- to respond to any questions that would come my way. Ex: Question-What have you been doing? General answer- I’ve been busy with a number of projects. Question-Where do you live? I’m listed in the telephone book. Question-Are you still a priest?  Yes. Period. No other comment.) Question-Is the Worcester Diocese paying you? I’m living off my investments.

                What I have come to realize that those feelings-isolate- of ’93 and ’94 will be part of my life journey. I have to deal with them and move on. I realized that I was blinded with rose-colored glasses that I donned at ordination with the Second Vatican Council in an effort to renew the Catholic Church with a challenge to all branches and baptized. There was a hope that I recall Fr. Greeley saying certain writers of the Church do not remember that hope. So writers of this generation procure works that they view as objective but not understand what some of the present figures of the Church in Rome and the United States have tried so hard to destroy that hope.

                I noticed this day in my research and writing that my back was very sore. The sore back was a pain that I noticed I experienced when my body would experience stress. It was mainly mental. But, it was occurring more often of late. I was thinking of late about my moving from my present studio apartment to the second floor. I only heard about this the previous day but that is where I noticed that an issue has, what I call, the 24 hour reaction time on me. I experience something and then 24 hours I feel it with the stress element of a sore-lower back reaction. I believe it is all in the mind working with major concern and my back gets tight.  

March 6, 2005

                My fear bucket started to fill-up watch the local evening TV news with Father Shanley’s picture being shown and Attorney General Reilly saying he is going to review abuse cases after talking to “victims” in Shanley’s case and getting rid of the “statue of limitation.” I recall hearing that Reilly was talking of this issue but that it would not be retro-active. Reilly’s story was not being told by all the medial in the same fashion. Some sources said that Reilly was going to “look into changing the law.” What I realized was that this was another political move by Reilly because the “statue of limitation” affects not only priest sex abuse. It covers a wider range of law in general.

                We are living in a society that proclaims: There’s gold in then, there hill. Allegate a priest.                

March 7, 2005

                In a letter of the “People’s Forum” of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette by David J. O’Brien, Professor, Holy Cross College, Worcester: “VOTF was invited to Holy Cross-The Voice of the Faithful is dedicated to assisting victims of sexual abuse by priests, supporting the vast majority of priests who serve their church with fidelity and dedication, and reforming the church to allow all its members, including lay people, to share responsibility for its common life.

                “In particular, VOTF advocates for he full implementation and appropriate reform of existing structures of shared responsibility, especially parish and diocesan councils and finance committees. Daniel Dick, cited by Richard R. Blanchard’s letter to the editor (Telegram & Gazette, Feb 21), has rendered generous service to logical victims, of whom there are many, and he has strong views on church reform. But VOTF, as an organization, was badly misrepresented by Mr. Blanchard. As for his question about Holy Cross, VOTF members have met occasionally at the college, at my invitation, for which I gladly accept responsibility.”28

                Blanchard was a letter writer to the Worcester Telegram & Gazette and Catholic Free Press in the 70s and 80s. He was constantly giving especially Bishop Harrington a run for it. I recall that his name was never mentioned in public or at the dinner table in the rectory. The priest silence was most interesting. There is a whole separate book on that guy and the Worcester Diocese. 

March 11, 2005

                John L. Allen, Jr. writes in the National Catholic Reporter “Vatican asks Rice for help in sex abuse lawsuit.”

                The article states: “Alongside predictable exchanges on Iraq, the Middle East and religious liberty, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in her Feb 8 visit to the Vatican received an unexpected request-to intervene in a U.S. lawsuit naming the Holy See as the defendant in a sex abuse case.

                “Church sources told NCR that Rice asked by Cardinal Angelo Sodano, the Vatican’s secretary of state, whether the U>S. government could stop a class action lawsuit currently before a U.S. District Court in Louisville, Ky., that, seeks to hold the Vatican financially responsible for the sexual abuse of minors.

                “Sources told NCR that Rice explained that under American law; foreign states are required to assert claims of sovereign immunity themselves before U.S. courts.

                “Vatican spokesperson Joanquin Mavarro-Valls, asked by NCR for comment, responded March 2: ‘It’s obvious and reasonable that the Holy See would present its positions as a sovereign entity to the American State Department, and recall the immunity for its acts that international law anticipates.’

                “It’s not the first time, according to observers; that the Vatican has asked the State Department for help on a legal matter.

                “Most experts say that lawsuits against the Vatican in American courts, such as the Kentucky case that prompted Sodano’s request, are a long shot. At least two dozen previous attempts have gone nowhere, not only because the Vatican is a sovereign state, but also because American courts are generally reluctant to deal with religious matters on First Amendment grounds.

                “Yet Sodano’s decision to raise the matter with Rice suggests concern in Rome that sooner or later its immunity may give way, exposing the Vatican to potentially crippling verdicts…”29

                It is big money where one has to try to figure out where the string is tied to around the corner. 

March 10, 2005

                The Catholic Free Press had a supplement document published by the Diocesan Review Committee of the Roman Catholic Diocese “Policies & Procedures for the Protection of Minors.”30 It was revised and reissued this day-March 10, 2005.

                What I found interesting was that this committee consisted of 20 members. My first thought was that it is a mob with such a number. A priest called me and said count the number of priest-5. The issue this priest was caring a message of resurging clericalism.  

March 12, 2005

                Kathleen A. Shaw followed the release of this document of March 10th with “Diocese policy on handling sex abuse allegations updated.”

                She wrote in her column: “Worcester-the Diocese Review Committee of the Catholic Diocese of Worcester has made changes in how it will deal with allegations of sexual abuse by clergy or diocesan workers and has set procedures for reporting past abuse.

                “Bishop Robert J. McManus also announced this week that the Rev. George J. Ridick, now pastor of St. Catherine of Sweden Parish, has been appointed liaison of priests on leave. Rev. Ridick holds advanced degrees in theology and psychology.

                “Eight priest have been placed on administrative leave since 2002 when allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced and others are on leave after allegations wee made in previous years. The policy states that in accordance with canon law priests on leave will continue to receive support from the diocese.

                “According to the new policy, anyone alleging they were abused years ago as minors, but are now adults, should call the Office of Healing and Prevention at (508) 929-4363 to begin the reporting process.

                “In addition, anonymous complaints will not be viewed as showing ‘reasonable cause to believe abuse has occurred,’ according to the new policy…”31

                Reality has developed since even Bishop Harrington telling me that I was “guilty till proven innocent” statement and the language of the hierarchal church and media- no one has a chance to be restored from an allegation. However, what has proven a fact that a hierarchy is the only ones proclaimed “immaculate.”

                I had another insight about these 20 members-The Worcester Diocese Mob- of the review board wouldn’t live that long if they didn’t say a bishop was “immaculate” (innocent) on any sex abuse allegations. If this “The Mob” didn’t do this, they would have been zapped-end of story by the local bishop.  

March 13, 2005

                “Just Thinking” time with the newly appointed Fr. George Ridick as the bishop’s representative to priest on “Administrative Leave.”  What are his actually duties. What are the limits of this position? Is this the new housekeeper, the one that bangs the pots and pans, knows what you are wearing, what phone calls you are receiving?

                How cans one love after what the diocese has given me? What would one come to “visit”? Would I say: Come back when you know you have something to share and care? I would expect to be treated equality where I have seen that each of us have been separated in different room. I would ask: How is Father Bagley doing? This liaison person is actually the new “probation officer.” Does the diocese want to issue electric ankle bracelet?

                There is written in the revised policy that the Bishop’s liaison for us guys on administrative leave is to stay informed of the priest’s living arrangements, including contact information, living conditions, health, finances, and other pertinent circumstances.

                No one has ever contacted me about anything as such at any time. I guess such a policy is only for print purposes and public relations.

March 14, 2005

                I have been thinking of writing a number of novels; the latest title that I would enjoy to write: The Great Flood of Elm Street (Chancery Building): Even Greater than the Boston’s Great Molasses Explosion.

                This type of novel would definitely cause a stir inside the “castle.” What we have seen of late is that bishops have been seen as above reproach. I wondered was it I did not receive “due process” because the diocese with Harrington and Rueger would have not been able to handle inconsistency in my case. 

March 18, 2005

                I was asked by a former parishioner about priest vacations: You’ll never going to figure it out or be told how this operates. You will get a smile which will screen retreats, study weeks, professional time, days-off etc. etc. etc.-the local area has it at 9 to 10 weeks a year.

                Jason Berry reporting from Los Angeles reports in the National Catholic Reporter “Mahoney, illegal battle, insists church has right to secrecy.”

                He writes: “Since June 2002, when the scandal-plaque Catholic bishops met in Dallas to adopt a youth protection charter, Cardinal Roger Mahoney have cast him as a reformer, an image that is jarring to many people immersed in the legal sage here in whom the archdiocese has waged a fierce battle to keep sensitive documents secret.

                “‘If priests are indicted and some end up in prison or what ever, that’s going to be very sad for them, for the church,’ Mahoney told the Los Angeles Times in the weeks following that 2002 meeting.’ But fit hast is required to move beyond, that’s what we’re going to have to go thought’

                “Two and a half years later, amid the slow grind of curt proceedings, Mahoney spoke of his own ‘terrible journey’ in a Feb 12 telephone interview with NCR. ‘It’s easy to look back through lenses of today to 15,20, 30 years agony just wish you had known then what I know now about the way sexual offenders behave.

                “‘I’ve met a very large number of victims,’ he continued. ‘I’ve also looked at the taped interviews [of victims] the plaintiff attorneys here have developed. Dozens of interviews on DVD. I’ve listened to every single one of them. They just cause you to cry. You simply are in disbelief at what has happened to the lives of these people. It has been a very humbling experience. Spiritually, I was absolutely at the bottom, which means total vulnerability to god’s grace. And I began to realize that this is the ministry Jesus Christ is asking of me and others at this time, to repair the damage, to make sure it won’t happen again.’

                Mahoney has taken several important steps to address the crisis. The archdiocese formed a Clergy Misconduct Oversight Bard with 13 members mostly lay people. Three former FBI agents are on call to investigate when charges arise against a priest or church worker. Some 18,000 archdiocesan employees have undergone a training program called Safeguard the Children. Priests and bishops have had a training program as well.

                “If his reforms and rhetoric suggest a healing hand held out to people hungry for justice, the cardinal’ s other hand grips a shield. Mahoney’s lawyers are waging the most expensive legal battle in American church history to thwart the Los Angeles district attorney’s subpoena for files of priests accused of sexual offenses, and to fight off possible charges of archdiocesan complicity in alleged crimes. The archdiocese is also fighting plaintiffs on releasing personnel files of priests in civil cases. The church’s 2004 legal bill was about $4 million.

                “In lengthily motions and arguments, Mahoney’s attorneys have insisted that private communications between a bishop and priests are protected by the First Amendment guarantee of church-state separation…”32

                Another article in this same issue entitled “‘One-strike’ policy to be retained, says cardinal.”

                John L. Allen, Jr. writes in this article: “Despite opposition both in the United States and in the Vatican, the ‘one strike’ policy at the heart of the American norms on sexual abuse of minors by priests will be retained when Rome re-approves those norms within this month, according to Cardinal Francis George of Chicago.

                “George, who sits on a mixed commission of American bishops and Vatican officials to review the norms, spoke in an exclusive March 10 interview with NCR in Rome.

                “Under the terms of the ‘one-strike’ policy, a priest guilty of even on actor of sexual abuse of a minor is either to be removed from the priesthood or permanently removed from priestly ministry.

                “The policy, and other elements of the norms such as lifting the state of limitations in church law for sexual abuse allegations, ahs been criticized by canon lawyers and others in Rome and America as unfair to accused priests, and out of step with the universal law of the Catholic church. The American norms were approved by the Vatican for a two-year period in 2003, and expire this month. Some observers had expected Vatican officials to press for significant changes before re-approval would be granted.

                “In the end, however, George said there were only ‘four or five’ revisions, all of which he described as ‘minor,’ including a tightened definition of sexual abuse and new provisions for handling accusations against priests who are members of religious orders, which he said was a matter of inserting new footnotes. All the revisions, George said, war proposed by the American bishops.

                “George said that there is no need for the bishops to take action on the norms at their June meeting, since they had already voted to request an extension.

                ‘‘I have every reason to believe that confirmation of the norms will come soon, probably by the end of this month,’ George said.

                “While George said that the norms themselves do not alter the ‘one-strike’ policy, he said that the jurisprudence of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in the intervening two years has ‘nuanced’ its application.

                “Under rules approved by People Hon Paul II in 2002, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has the exclusive competence to adjudicate accusations of sexual abuse against priests, though in many instances the congregation will delegate local tribunal to hear the cases.

                “‘If a priest is guilty of sexual abuse, he can either be removed from the priesthood or removed from ministry,’ George said. ‘In that second case, the question is, what do you do/ in some instance, the congregation has approved allowing the priest to perform secretarial work behind the scenes, that sort of things.’

                “George described this as a matter of ‘filling in the blanks.’

                “‘Nothing has changed in terms of the ‘one-strike’ policy, but in practice questions come up that the congregation has responded to, in a helpful way,’ he said.

                “George said he expected the extension of approval fro the norms would be granted for an indefinite period and would come with the consent of the pope.”33

                I have constantly written about the “guilty” priest. What about if your bishop was covering-up his situation with the law and pulled you with “guilty till proven innocent.” The hierarchy has its own cover-up technique called “authority and power.”

                I read in John L. Allen, Jr. book Opus Dei who wrote: “On the other hand, Opus Dei member do not win every showdown. Take the case of Monsignor Joaquin Lobell, a Spanish Opus Dei priest and professor f canonical procedure at the University of Santa Croce in Rome. He’s a widely respected canon lawyer who sits on the Apostolic Singnatura, the Vatican’s supreme curt, as well as the Court of Appeal for the Vatican City-State. He once served as a judge ad causal for penal cases handled by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, including accusations of sexual abuse against priests, in some instances from the United States. Lobell also was a member of the commission that prepared a set of norms for handling ‘grace delicts,’ including sexual abuse, called Sacramentorum snactituatis tutela, issued on April 30, 2001.

                “While Llobell is a loyal son of the Church, his is also a stickler for due process of law and he felt that the rules under which the Church was processing sex abuse charges were flawed. In March 2004 he gave a public lecture in which he argued that canon law seeks rehabilitation of the offender, and proportionality between crimes and punishment-meaning that ‘one size fits all’ penalties are foreign to canonical tradition. Both points cut against the ‘one strike’ policy called for by the American bishops and approved by the Vatican. He also criticized revisions to the sex abuse norms approved by John Paul II in February 2003, which removed the statue of limitations, allowed the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to defrock a priest using no judicial means, and prevented appeal of the congregation, the tribunals handling sex abuse cases are run by that office’s ‘promoter of justice,’ in effect the lead prosecutor. No system of justice can be fair; he said where the prosecutor selects and supervises the judges. It’s not that  Lobell is ‘soft’ on clerical sexual abuse; in the late 1980, he voiced the opinion within the Roman Curia that the American bishops should bring penal cases against abuser priests under the Code of Canon Law. His position, however, is that the Church should not remedy one injustice with another, and he believes the current norms are, from a procedural point of view, unjust.

                “These views did not sit well with some, including the promoter of justice in the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Monsignor Charles Scicluna, a Maltese priest whose job it has been to coordinate the Vatican’s canonical response to the American crisis. Maybe these norms aren’t perfect law, Scicuna has told colleagues, but the Church found itself in a crisis and needed to react. Moreover, on Scicluna’s watch decisions have been reached in a relatively quick amount of time. Of more than 700 cases that reached the Vatican in the wake of the American crisis by spring 2004 some 550 have been processed and returned, a remarkable result given the tendency of the Vatican to ‘think in centuries.’.

                “Llobell and Scicluna are friends and colleagues, so there is no suggestion of personal antagonism, and Llobell had already stopped working for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith before Scicluna arrived. Yet the two men nevertheless represent different canonical approaches, and Scicluna’s is the one that has prevailed. Since his work on the 2001 norms, Llobell has never been asked back to assist the congregation, despite the tidal wave of penal cases that washed through its offices in the wake of the American crisis. The story is all the more illuminating given that the highest-ranking Opus Dei member in the Curia is Herranz, whose area of competence is precisely canon law. His views on due process and the legitimacy of the sex aubse norms are much closer to Llobell’s than Scicluna’s. If there really were an unstoppable Opus Dei juggernaut in the Vatican one would have expected this policy dispute to go the other way…”34

                The key term here was “due process.” There was nothing as such with my situation with Harrington or Reilly. In actuality, how could either of these bishops give me “due process” of canon law where they would indite themselves with abuse of “authority and power?”

                Also, in this same issue of the National Catholic Reporter the “Editorials: Sealing the answers won’t quiet the questions.”

                It states: “The ongoing legal wrangling between law enforcement authorities and the Los Angeles archdiocese over whether the church can be forced to have over files believed relevant to sex aubse causes is an ugly but fitting next act in the drama that has been playing out for more than 20 years.

                “The drama has reached what some might see as an intractable tug of war between competing perception and rights: the right of the church to the free of interference from the state and the state’s right to investigate crime; the right of victims to have all the relevant evidence in making their case against accused abusers versus the right of privacy one can expect with a spiritual adviser and confessor.

                “Nationally, similar questions-of fairness and reasonable application of law-abound. Is it fear fro states across the country to consider alterations to existing laws to allow accusers to file charges, impossible under current statues, against alleged abusers?

                “Those questions become irrelevant, however, if one were to take seriously the view of Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, who served a number of years with the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith before becoming archbishop of Genoa, Italy; ‘If a priest cannot confide in his bishop because he is afraid of being denounced, it would mean there is, no more freedom of conscience.’ Civil society, he said, must ‘respect the ‘professional secrecy’ of priests.’ What, precisely does he mean by that? And how much does that attitude prevail in the church today? How much was that view responsible for the demoralizing and costly sex abuse scandal?”35 

March 19, 2005

                I heard this morning on the radio, news that Archbishop O’Malley received permission form Rome to wash the feet of women in addition to me in Boston on Holy Thursday.  The broadcast said he had to get “permission” is telling one a  lot more than realized-this is the milled management issue in today’s Church.

                One has to realize that we were washing feet of parishioners-women and men-since 1985. But Archbishop O’Malley needs permission because he refuses to do this last years which was his first year as Boston. So, he asked Rome, which the rubrics never said that women were to be excluded. This was something that was very important when reading Church documents: What they don’t say is more important than what they do say.

                So, the good Archbishop had to ask Rome for permission. Hopefully, one realizes if anything that this is a hierarchal game. We used to say in the seminary days: People are dying in Bangladesh and we worry with such an issue. O’Malley wants to be the “obedient servant” to get to be that Cardinal.

                I was doing my daily 3 mile walk and what resonated: Attorney Carey saying to me: “You can open your case anytime you want.” What was really behind that statement will be something I guess I will have to take to the grave with myself if I want to maintain my priesthood. But, there was something from a legal perspective. I even tried to get what this may have meant from another lawyer friend. He would not touch it. He was Irish Catholic from the right wing element of pre-Vatican II.

                I, also, was reflecting how in my packing of 12 books to carry upstairs to my new place (studio apartment) of what the books I had and their meaning. Books I have always considered as my friends. I would say to people: Come and see my best friends-my personal library. What was interesting this time in packing and my thinking of when will I ever use this book-one at a time-against? It was an all day project doing it in this manner. My mind would reflect on certain meanings each book had for me and where I may have referred to such a text in a presentation or sermon (homily) or project. I always believe in bettering myself by researching and reading as much as possible on a subject. Books that I owned had value with “knowledge” that no one was able to take from me. I was thinking at this time in that I had quit a financial impertinent in my personal library. I guess this would have been the value of having my own place-cottage as such. But, I never regretted this direction that I had undertaken. I realized that these books took me places that I know I would never have had an opportunity to visit or talk with these authors and learn their thoughts. Books have been worth their weight in gold. I will experience this against in another move-up one flight of stairs.

                Another interesting news report I heard today was Gove John Rowland of Connecticut who was being sentenced for a jail term on corruption. He made the statement to the judge: He had lost sight of his ethical judgment and developed a sense of entitlement and even arrogance. He let his pride get in his way.

                Something in these words to recall and reflect on in any walk of life. I would use this for an evening of reflection for an examination of conscience. 

March 20, 2005

                This Sunday morning after I offered Mass, I turned on Sunday Morning-CBS. It had a segment of how court trails are covered by the media. One report was on the “circus nature” of trails. It was reported that in England which has a different stands whenever someone is accused of a crime. Here is a complete media lockout until there is a resolution. It was said that this would never happen in the United States because of the First amendment.

                Then it was explained that the Michael Jackson and Robert Blake (Beretta) court proceedings have the effect of their names in public. It was mentioned that once something is made public, a person’s reputation is gone. This has happened to me. Now, I have to live with it. I have to live day by day to survive with the basics of living conditions, daily food and life in general.

                This is where I implement a basic teaching from AA: 1. Keep one’s memory green 2. Stay teachable 3. Continuous work of one’s program on a daily basis.

                I was thinking about me using the phrase-the games go on. This is from Games people Play by Eric Berne, M.D. (1964). One thing I have learned in life” Someone already said what you are saying.

                 I read this work by Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI entitled “Tasting the Darkness of Good Friday.”

                He writes: “A year ago, partly in response to the popularity and controversy surrounding Mel Gibson’s movie, The Passion of Christ, TIME magazine ran a cover story on the question of why Jesus died. The piece was well researched and included the opinion of a variety of scholars, but it also delved into the feelings of ordinary people around this question.

                “One person who expressed her feelings was a young woman who, as a child had witnessed her mother being murdered by a jealous boyfriend. Looking back on her mother’s death, she senses, without being above to put it into works, that somehow her mother’s book is connected to the blood that Jesus shed on Good Friday and that his death, also unfair, somehow gives dignity to her mother’s death.

                “Her hunch is right. There is a connection, even if we lack the works to explain it, between what Jesus tasted on Good Friday and what any person who is unfairly victimized tastes. We have our own Good Fridays and they are to unconnected to what happened on Calvary tow thousand years ago. Indeed, what Jesus underwent on Good Friday is, as this woman says, what gives us dignity when we taste the blood of humiliation, loneliness, helplessness, and death. What did Jesus undergo on Good Friday?

                “Interestingly, the gospels do not fours on his physical suffering (which must have been horrific). What they highlight instead is his emotional suffering and his humiliation. He is presented as lonely, betrayed, alone, helpless to explain himself, a victim  of jealousy, morally isolated, mocked, misunderstood, stripped naked so as to have to feel embarrassment and shame, and yet, inside of all this, as clinging to warmth, goodness, and forgiveness. Good Friday, in Luke’s words, is when darkness has it hurl. What does that taste like?     

                “Whenever we find ourselves outside the circle of health and vibrancy, on a sick bed alone, with the sure knowledge that, despite the love and support of family and friends, in the end it is us, by ourselves, who face disability and disfigurement, who have to lose a breast or an organ to surgery, who face chemotherapy and maybe death, when we are alone inside of that, alone inside of fear, we are feeling what Jesus felt on Good Friday…”36

                I have been there-my good Fridays- many, many times. I imagine I will have more of them. But, it is my Faith that I have had the grace to endure.  

March 22, 2005

                Another Holy Week and I are alone. I have the roller coaster feeling of being not included in this ride.  I had to go inside my self and go to the “tool box of faith” with one had unwavering faith that God “draws straight with crocked lines. When things become difficult in my being away from the faith community, I can dig down deep and find the source of strength-Jesus in God.

                A friend told me on the phone: “The stone that is rejected will become the cornerstone.” I have this to remember especially when I reflect on some of my readings especially from Sacred Scripture and spiritual reading.  

March 23, 2005

                I was wondering this Holy Week is the Worcester Diocese considered me retired or not? I had to reflect upon: What do I want from them? I am basically going through a journey of “silent salvation.” I am doing my calling (vocation) in silent suffering. I even had to be contorted by others by being challenged for accountability. The system that I belong too is one of power and authority that seems to have no indication that I exist.

                I noticed that I am not reading many Catholic periodicals or newspapers of late. I used to go to Assumption College Library periodically to do this. This I have not of late.

                On the Internet (The Boston Globe) reported “Priest suspended “ Boston-A Revere priest cleared of accusations he molested a teenage boy in the early 1980s was returned to active ministry after a church review board examined the case of the Rev. Edward Keohan, officials at the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston said.

                “‘After careful review of the information available regarding the complaint, the (archdiocese) review board determined that the allegation was unsubstantiated,’ the archdiocese said in a statement Tuesday.

                “Philip does. Moran, a Salem lawyer who represented Keohan, said the 72-year-old priest passed a lie detector test, and that members of the accuser’s family ultimately disputed the story that the man, who now is 37, had been molested.

                “Neither Ann Carter, a spokeswoman for the archdiocese, or Moran knew whether the former administrator of Ur Lady of Lourdes in Revere would continue to serve as a priest.

                “‘Father Keohan and I are delighted,’ Moran said of the church’s decision. ‘He has devoted 45 years of his life to God as priest, and we gel he was wrongly accused. There was no basis for the accusation.’             

                “However Mitchell Garabedian, the Boston lawyer who represented the accuser, said his client received a six-figure settlement from the archdiocese in the case.

                “‘If nothing happened, then why did the church pay my client a substantial amount of money in settlement of his claim?’37 (Pay for legal expenses?)

                What gets interesting in such reports that we don’t hear anything more of this priest or any other priest for that matter? 

March 24, 2005

                “Judge declines to dismiss case on Rev. Teczar: Psychosis’s allowed to testify about memories of alleged abuse” appeared on page A2 of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Kathleen A. Shaw wrote: “A Texas judge yesterday denied a request from the Catholic Dioceses of Worcester and Fort Worth, Texas, to dismiss a lawsuit brought by two men who allege they were sexually abused by the Rev. Thomas H. Teczar when they were teenagers.

                “Judge Len Wade also denied the dioceses’ request to exclude tow forensic psychologists who will testify on behalf who will testify on behalf of John Doe I and John Doe II, the names assigned to the plaintiffs in the lawsuit. The psychologists, John Daignaeult of Braintree, and Rycke Marshall of Dallas will be allowed to testify.

                “The judge issued a short ruling yesterday in Tarrant County District Court in Fort Worth.

                “Tahira Khan Merritt, lawyer for John Doe II, said yesterday that a mediation session is scheduled for 9 a.m. tomorrow with a curt-appointed media for at Los Colinas, which is near Irving, Texas. Worcester Bishop Robert J. McManus and retired Auxiliary Bishop George E. Rueger will participate in the meeting via telephone. James Gavin Reardon Jr., lawyer for the Worcester Diocese, said he will be at the mediation session.

                “Unless a settlement is reached, the case is scheduled for a jury trail in Texas July 25, Ms Khan Merritt said. Ms. Han Merritt is the lead lawyer in the case. John Doe is represented by Daniel J. Shea of Houston, who also will be at the mediation session…”38

                Here is the “recall memory” issue, against. 

March 26, 2005

                Worcester Telegram & Gazette with Kathleen A. Shaw reports “Dioceses settle case for $1.4M: Alleged abuse victim of Teczar lives in Tex.”

                Shaw writes: “The Catholic Dioceses of Worcester and Froth Worth, Texas, late Thursday night settled one of the pending lawsuits against the dioceses, two bishops and the Rev. Thomas H. Teczar for $1.4 million, according to the lawyers representing the alleged victims.

                “The settlement came in the case of a man from Ranger, Texas, identified only as John Doe I. He is represented by Daniel J. Shea of Houston. (We’ve read about him in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.)

                “No settlement was reached in the case of John Doe II, who is represented by Tahira Khan Merritt and Sylvia Demarest of Dallas. Ms Khan Merritt said yesterday that unless some settlement is reached in the case, it will go to trail in July.

                “‘I’m very happy for Dan that he was able to bring in that settlement for his client,’ Ms. Khan Merritt said. ‘In my case, I want this to go to a jury because there is a lot of information about the conspiracy between the two dioceses that needs to come out. I want the truth to come out.’

                “Ms. Khan Merritt said the case of John Doe II involves repressed memories of the alleged abuse, while John Doe I had never suppressed or repressed his memories of the alleged abuse.

                “Mr. Shea, who represented several people in the Worcester area in their cases against the Worcester Diocese, said he was able to get a larger settlement in Texas because that state does not have a charitable immunity cap of $20,000 as Massachusetts does. The Worcester Diocese has been settling its recent clergy sexual abuse sits for less than the cap.

                “Mr. Shea and Ms. Khan Merritt said that none of the $1.4 million is coming from the Worcester Diocese. They were surprised to learn late Thursday night that the Worcester Diocese had a previously unknown indemnification agreement with Fort Worth that absolved Worcester from paying any money if Rev. Teczar was accused of sexually abusing minors in Texas…”39 

March 29, 2005

                Another day and another article by Kathleen A. Shaw appeared on page A2 of these days Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Diocese says deal was never made on Teczar move: Accused priest went to Texas.”

                Shaw writes: “Worcester-In a letter sent to the priests of Catholic Diocese of Worcester, Bishop Robert J. McManus emphatically denies any agreement was made with the Diocese of Fort Worth, Texas, to allow the Rev. Thomas H. Teczar to take a position as priest in Texas.

                “Two men from Ranger, Texas, brought a civil suit in Fort Worth, Texas, alleging that the tow dioceses conspired to move the priest from the Worcester Diocese to Fort Worth after allegations of sexual abuse arose in the local diocese.

                “In his letter to priests, which was sent Saturday and was publicly posted at, Bishop McManus said both dioceses partially settled the lawsuit involving one of the alleged victims, but added that the Worcester Diocese will not pay any of the $1.4 million settlement because it had no responsibility for Rev. Teczar when he left the Worcester (Diocese).

                “The bishop said the lawyers for the two alleged victims have maintained a ‘conspiracy’ existed between the two dioceses. However, Bishop McManus said, such a conspiracy was impossible because the Worcester Diocese never agreed to Rev. Teczar’s ministry in Texas.

                “” ‘The plaintiffs’ theory is bases among other things, on a Church-wide conspiracy among United States dioceses,’ he said. ‘The plaintiffs’ attorney is determined to weave the facts of this particular matter into that theory whether the facts fit or not.’

                “Bishop McManus said that even though the Worcester Diocese revoked Rev. Teczar’s permission to function as a priest and never restored it, Bishop Joseph P. Delaney of Fort Worth authorized the priest to take an assignment in his diocese in 1988. According to Bishop McManus, former Worcester Bishop Timothy J. Harrington made it clear to Bishop Delaney that he did not give permission for Rev. Teczar to serve in Texas.

                “The identifications of the two plaintiffs in the case have been sealed. The case of John Doe I, who was represented by Daniel J. Shea of Houston, was settled late Thursday night. Mr. Shea said he was told after the settlement was reached that indemnification existed between the two dioceses and the issue came up in the context of why Worcester was not going to pay any part of the settlement…”40

                There was a phrase used but never in writing that certain priest in the Worcester Diocese were told that they should find a “benevolent” bishop but world not able to serve anymore in this diocese. So, pick your words from there in where Father Teczar was in Texas. 

March 30, 2005

                I was carrying my belongings up one flight this morning. I noticed in this moving how I was looking at things differently in that I question if I will ever use this or that. If I think not or even hesitate, it’s gone. I, actually, don’t have the space. I had packed about 25% of my books that I transported to the N. H. bookstore to get a few dollars for them.

                It was a different feeling having this experience because with books I am a “pack-rat.” I believe those days are over for me. I was doing a lot of thinking of the meaning of possessions and material items. This is something I wonder about before I look to buy anything-first the cost and secondly-Do I really need it? 

March 31, 2005

                Listening to Don Imus on the radio this morning, he made this statement: A reporter takes the facts and then adjust them to their agenda. It helped me to confront anything I would read or hear as I continue in life’s journey.

                This day, we read in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Sex-abuse lawsuit names former bishop” reported by Kathleen A. Shaw.

                Shaw writes: “William E. Burnett of Texas, who curt documents identify as a nephew of the late Monsignor Raymond J. Page, filed suit yesterday in Hampden Superior Court in Springfield alleging he was sexually abused during the 1950s by his uncle, as well as by Bishop Timothy J. Harrington and the Rev. Oscar Gatineau, all of whom were assigned to the Catholic Diocese of Worcester at the time, and by four clergymen assigned to the Springfield Diocese. (In that period of time Worcester County-Worcester Diocese- was part of the Springfield Diocese.)

                “No public allegations of sexual misconduct have previously been mage against the three. Mr. Burnett, 64, is serving a 60-yer prison term in Tennessee Colony, Texas, on a murder charge.

                “The suit also names Bishop Christopher Weldon of Springfield and the Revs. Bernard L. Doheny, George Berthiaume and James Walsh, priest of the Springfield Diocese. All seven clergymen named in the suit are deceased.

                “Bishop Robert J. McManus said yesterday that the diocese learned of and investigated the allegations several years ago finding o substance to them. ‘It is profoundly troubling that this suit is attempting to malign the reputations’ of the three Worcester clergymen ‘who had dedicated themselves to serve the people of the Worcester Diocese and now deceased, cannot defend themselves.

                “Mr. Burnett is represented by Boston lawyer Carmen L. Durso, who said his client became eligible for parole in November. According to the suit, the abuse of Mr. Burnett stated when he was 10 and continued until 1959. Mr. Durso said Mr. Burnett did not make the connection between the alleged sexual abuse and the harm that it caused him until 2002.

                “The lawsuit maintains that Mr. Burnett was sexually abused by Monsignor Page from age 10 to 16 after he told his uncle that Rev. Doheny had sexually abused him. The alleged incident occurred at a cabin owned by Monsignor Page in Holland and at the rectory of St. Anne’s Shrine, Fiskdale, according to the suit. The alleged abuse was witnessed by Rev. Gatineau, according to the suit. Mr. Burnett claims that he was sexually abused by Rev. Gatineau from age 12 to 13 in the Holland cabin and at the St. Anne rectory.

                “Mr. Burnett alleges he was sexually abused three times between age 11 and 15 by Bishop Harrington at the Holland cabin and at the St. Anne’s rectory.

                “Mr. Burnett alleges he was sexually abused three times between age 11 and 15 by Bishop Harrington at the Holland cabin and at the St. Anne rectory, and that Monsignor Page witnessed the alleged incidents. Bishop Harrington became head of the Worcester Diocese in 1968. (This date is not correct.)

                “Bishop McManus said the diocese interviewed Mr. Burnett’s family and conducted ‘a thorough examination of diocesan records’ when the allegations first surfaced. The diocese reported the allegations to District Attorney John J. Conte’s office and notified Mr. Burnett of this, bishop said.

                “The lawsuit, according to the bishop, ‘has left the Page family her broken as they bear one more injustice by this nephew of Monsignor Page, as Mr. Burnett is serving a 60-year sentence for murder in Texas. We fear that it is also an injustice to the victims who seek to have their credible stories of abuse heard in order to find healing in their lives,’ Bishop McManus said.

                “‘We stand by the charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, which states explicitly, ‘When the accusation has proved to be unfounded, every step possible will be taken to restore the good name of the priest or deacon,’ the bishop said.”41

                This is where it gets interesting. The Worcester Diocese has with this on Bishop Harrington, two bishops that have been found “immaculate.” The other was Bishop Rueger. We have not had one (ordinary) priest given such a format-due process- and given any public platform.

                When one reads the cases against the two bishops we get definite locations mentions as Rueger with Situate and Harrington with Holland, Massachusetts. Are these coincidences that two victims with two bishops were able to give specific locations of private domiciles? Just wondering. 

April 1, 2005 

                Now we get another side of the story about Bishop Harrington’s allegation in the Catholic Free Press.

                The article entitled “Review found claim of abuse not credible: Lawsuit filed against bishops, priests” on page 1 of this day’s issue.

                It reads: “Springfield- A lawsuit was filed Wednesday in Hampden county Superior Court charging seven priests, including the late Bishop Harrington, the late Msgr. Raymond J. Page and the late Bishop of Springfield Christopher Weldon, with sexual abuse of a Springfield boy in the 1950s.

                “Bishop McManus, in a statement issued Wednesday, said the diocese learned several years ago of the claims now alleged in the civil lawsuit and found they have ‘no basis of credibility.’ He also decried what he said was the attempt by the lawsuit to malign the reputations of those accused.

                “According to Atty. Carmen L. Durso, his client, William E. Burner, charges that he was sexually abused by the priests at various times from 1950 to 1959.

                “Mr. Durso said Mr. Burnett is serving a 60-year sentence for murder in the Texas State Prison in Tennessee Colony, Texas. He sad Msgr. Page was Mr. Burnett’s uncle.

                “The Roman Catholic Bishops of Worcester and Springfield as corporations sole also are named in the suit. It states that the bishops controlled and directed the hiring, training, supervision and retention of the clergy in their dioceses.

                “Mr. Durso said both dioceses are named because the Worcester Diocese was split away from the Springfield Diocese in 1950, when the abuse is alleged to have begun.

                “Other priests named in the suit are Fathers Bernard L. Doheny, George Berthiaume, Oscar Gatineau and James Walsh. Mr. Durso said he believed they were all deceased.

                “Bishop McManus said the diocese has investigated the claims with members of Mr. Burnett’s family ‘and by a thorough examination of diocesan records. The diocese also referred the allegations to the district attorney’s office at that time and notified Mr. Burnett that the allegations had been sent to the district attorney.’

                “ ‘It is profoundly troubling that this suit is attempting to malign the reputations of Bishop Timothy J. Harrington, Msgr. Raymond Page, and Father Oscar Gatieau who had dedicated themselves to serve the people of the Worcester Diocese and, now deceased, cannot defend themselves, along with another bishop and priests of the Springfield Diocese. It has left the Page family heartbroken as they bear one more injustice by this nephew of Msgr. Page, as Mr. Burnett is serving a 60 year sentence for murder in Texas. We fear that it is also an injustice to the victims who seek to have their credible stories of abuse heard I order to find healing in their lives,’ Bishop McManus said.

                “‘We stand by the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People which states explicitly ‘When the accusation has proved to be unfounded, every step possible will be taken to restore the good name of the priest or deacon.’

                “The suit states that Mr. Burnett was born in 1941 in Springfield, was an altar boy at St. Michael’s Cathedral, took care of the altar during the summer months graduated from Cathedral grammar and high schools in Springfield and the alleged abuses started when he was 9 and continued until he was 16.

                “The suit alleges that the abuses took place at Msgr. Page’s cabin in Holland, at St. Anne Parish in the Fiskdale section of Sturbridge and at various places in Springfield, including St. Michael Cathedral and Mercy Hospital.

                “The suit also names Michael Moe numbers one through 10 ‘individuals who took part in the conspiracy to hide the instances of abuse alleged, whose names are presently unknown to the plaintiff.’

                “Mr. Burnett alleges that because of the sexual assaults and the negligence of the bishops and others, he ‘has been seriously and permanently injured and continues to suffer at present from psychological disease, which impairs and affect all aspects of his life,’ according to the suit.42

                What get interesting in reading and watching how the hierarchy roll-out their “big guns” for a bishop (Rueger etc.) with “statements” and anyone else has nothing mentioned about themselves.

                Another statement is where Bishop McManus quotes the “Charter” of “every step possible will be taken to restore the good name of the priest or deacon.” This tack record pertain only to bishops and business as usual for them not the “guilty till proven innocent” syndrome.

                What is most interesting in the two articles of Bishop Harrington being alleged is how the diocese said it id a through investigation. You cant’ do a very thorough investigation when the alleged is dead. S., how can such a remark be seven insinuated. But. One must not forget that when a bishop in Worcester gets allegated that the diocese does a “thorough investigation.” What makes Harrington’ allegation is that it was with a boy and “group sex.” But, the diocese refutes everything because of the victim’s background. How about checking the backgrounds of the supposed other “victims” with “plain Joes priest” in the diocese.

                I notice in my conversation that I use certain expressions: The games go on. Keep things in context. Put things in perspective. Even I was thinking that I may include a chapter in my book “Keep things in context.” I refer a number of times to Games People Play by Eric Bernie, M.D. (1964).

                I was talking with someone who was taking a journal writing course. She was told to have a pad by her bed to write down her dreams that she had during the night. Obviously, Freudian interpretation was inserted.  

April 2, 2005

                Pope John Paul II died this day in Rome at the age of 87. He was Pope for 26 years. Eternal Rest, Grant Unto him O’Lord. This man was a Cardinal when I met him. I was the Deacon at his Mass at SS Cyril & Methodius Seminary, Orchard Lake, Michigan in 1969. 

April 4, 2005

                I have notice of late that I have included the entire columns of references that I am using of late mainly due to the information that is being given.

                I also noticed that when I was writing with hope that I would get a phone call or something in the mail or a visitor. Nothing happened all day long. It was a long day.

Newsweek of this day gives us “Tending Wayward Shepherds: A new group seeks due process of accused priests.”

Sarah Childress reports: “Joes Maher never knows what to expect when he picks up the phone. Sometimes there’s a trembling pause before a priest, choking back hears tells him a disturbing familiar tale: an accusation of sexual abuse, exile from his community. Other times, there’s, there’s a caller screaming obscenities, furious that Maher would ever speak to these ‘sinners.’ A mild-mannered devout Roman catholic, Maher is the founder of Opus Ono Sacerdotii-Latin for ‘Word for the Good of the Priesthood’-the only lay advocacy group for priests accused of sexual misconduct. Some of the priests seeking help are like innocent, others are not. But Maher believes in supporting them all. ‘Priests are out there destitute, abandoned and desperate,’ he says.’ And they need help.’

                “After the sexual-abuse scandal exploded in 2002, the Catholic Church adopted a zero-tolerance policy, instructing bishops to quietly suspend accused priests from their duties until the church had fully investigated. (The statute of limitations has already passed for state action inmost of the cases. Maher hears about.) During the investigations, accused priests are supposed to continue stipends, room and board. But that isn’t always the case: some bishops, anxious to assuage the congregations, have gone public with the accusations, cutting the priests’ stipends and forcing them off church property. That’s where Opus Dei steps in. Tucked away in a factory building on the outskirts of Detroit, Maher and a half dozen priests field calls and e-mails form the accused. Part therapist, part social worker, Maher calms down the men and determines what they need: legal advice, money to cover the rent and lawyer’s fees, or just a sympathetic ear.

“A 44-year-old former financial consultant, Maher didn’t set out to become a champion of this cause. But in 2002, when a priest in his parish who was visiting from Africa was accused of rape, Maher felt pity for the man. He paid the priest’s $5,000 bail and hired him lawyer. When the priest was acquitted, Maher’s efforts caught the attention of the media, and the calls came pouring in from other men of the cloth. So Maher quite his job advising CFOs and set up Opus Bono with donations from Catholics who shared his sympathies. Since then, Maher says he’s been contacted by more than 1,000 priests. And each week four of five more find their way to him. He makes no personal judgment as to their guilt or innocence; he’s knelt to receive a blessing from a priest behind bars and he addresses ever defrocked priests with a reverent ‘Father.’ Those actions have made him a lightning rod for victims’ advocates. ‘There’s almost a blind loyalty to the institutional church,’ says Barbara Blaine, head of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priest, who believe that public support for priests prevents victims form coming forward. More-militant opponents have even phone in death threats and thrown human feces at Maher’s car.

                “But the priests are deeply grateful. ‘Joe has given me hope,’ one says. Besides loosing their reputations and the right to perform the sacraments, suspended priests often find themselves without job or a home for the firs time in their ordained lives. Maher says that many are shocked to learn that landlords typically require firs and last month’s rent, plus a security deposit, even landing a menial job can be difficult. One priest, who asked not to be identified, says he was hired on a Friday a fired that Monday, once his employer learned of the accusations against him. The church insists that it provides adequate support for accused priests, but that in the face of a seemingly credible accusation, a bishop must protect his flock. ‘In the society that we live in, somebody has to address the pastoral needs of the people,’ says Mark Chopko, general counsel for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

“Maher doesn’t want to drive a wedge between the accused priest and the church. In fact, he won’t pay legal fees for priests who want to sue the church for defamation, a route that a small but growing number are now choosing. (Already, accused priests have filed defamation suits in at least six states, including Illinois and Louisiana.) ‘It just adds more salt to the wound,’ Maher says. For him, Working for the Good of the Priesthood means healing those wounds.”43

April 6, 2005

                Steven H. Foskett Jr. of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette wrote this day “Former pastor admits to facts in assault case.”

                He stated in his article: "Worcester-the Rev. Jean-Paul Gagnon, former pastor of St. Augustine parish in Millville, admitted to sufficient facts for a guilty finding in court yesterday on assault charges.

                “In Worcester District Court yesterday, Judge Sarkis Teshoian continued the case without a finding for 18 months and ordered Rev. Gagnon to undergo drug, alcohol and mental health evaluations with treatment and counseling as recommended by the Probation Department, according to curt records.

                “Rev. Gagnon, 49, was initially charged with indecent assault and battery and assault and battery after an adult male who was active at St. Augustine parish alleged he was assaulted by the priest in Sutton in 2002.the alleged victims has not been named.

                “Judge Teshoian yesterday amended the charge from indecent assault and battery on a person over 14 to assault and battery, according to court records.

                “Rev. Gagnon’s lawyer, Fitchburg-based Edward P. Ryan Jr., said yesterday that Rev. Gagnon has maintained his innocence on the assault charges, and noted that there was no guilty plea involved in the decision.

                “Rev. Gagnon was placed on administrative leave by the Diocese of Worcester after he was charged, and he cannot serve as a priest.

                “A brief statement released by the Diocese of Worcester stated that ‘we hope and pray that this resolution to the charges which were brought against him will begin to bring a sense of healing for the victims.’

                “Rev. Gagnon took personal leave in October 2002 after Timothy P. Staney of Worcester, and his parents, Corrine and Joseph Staney of Spencer, filed a civil suit against him.

                “That suit, which was settled, last year, alleged that Rev. Gagnon sexually abused Timothy Staney while he was serving at Holy Name of Jesus parish in Worcester. Rev. Gagnon denied the allegations.”44

                What is amazing is that Father Name is “dirt” because of such allegations in this day and age. The legal terminology as such gives another overall directions. It sounds more of a legal-technique term as such. I, also, think: How much did this coast Father Gagnon for legal fees? 

April 8, 2005

                I watched the Pope’s funeral Mass on TV which lasted 2 ½ hours.

                I noticed my attending meetings of late that AA for me meat: Anger and Anxiety.

                I was wishing the phone would ring for me for a “hello.” I had been working on “go write and finish your book” technique. 

April 9, 2005

                I watched a taped segment of this weeks “Survivor” program on CBS. This segment was from Pella. Stephanie is the only one left from her tribe. One of the male contestants says to her: “Good luck. Win this one.” Stephanie says at the end of this segment: “It’s down to me.” This Survivor show of this week ends with the most important thing to do-build a fire.

                What I had to realize was that the most important thing to do is what was in front of me-one day at a time. Here is where “the program” was playing itself out.

                A media report of a priest counselor on the staff of the North American College in Rome said that he tells new priests: You better have yourself together when you get ordained and leave here. The coded language is: No questioning of anything in the present structural church. This is the right wing swing of “soldiers of the Pope” with this group coming out of the North American College in Rome.

                It was a time where I was pushed away and isolated. The Papacy was closed minded, well righteous, not need any power because they knew they were it. Some shoved it down your throat with kindness. They proclaimed a message of please don’t live a real life. Besides all this, this country was being run with a similar fashion.

                Mark Pratt of The Associated Press writes “Settlement made in alleged abuse by Rev. Teczar” in this day’s issue of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                He writes: “Boston-A Texas man who claims he was sexually abused by a priest from Massachusetts has reached a settlement with the dioceses of Fort Worth, Texas and Worcester that includes a $2.75 million payout from the Fort Worth Diocese, the parties said yesterday.

                “The settlement will be paid for by the Fort Worth Diocese and its insurances, the Texas diocese said in a statement. The diocese settled on the advice of its lawyers to avoid the ‘uncertainty of litigation and the related costs,’ the statement said.

                “The Worcester Diocese bears no financial responsibility in the settlement, according to a statement from Bishop Robert J. McManus.

                “The alleged victim, now 27 years old and identified only a John Doe II in court documents, claims the Rev. Thomas Teczar sexually abused him during his time as pastor of St. Rita’s Church in Ranger, Texas, in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Ranger, a town of about 2,500 people, is 100 miles west of Fort Worth.

                “ ‘No amount of money can adequately compensate my client for the loss of his childhood innocence, and the demons he will contend with for the rest of his life,’ said Tehira Khan Merritt, John Doe II’s lawyer. ‘Nevertheless, the settlement does assign accountability and assess consequences.’

                “Teczar, 64, who now lives in Dudley, and who served as a priest in the Worcester Dicoese until the mid-1980s, has denied the allegations. He did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment yesterday…”45

                I took a ride to go see Bob O’Brien in West Boylston at Bob’s Hot Dog Truck. We were sitting and talking inside his place of business-the truck. He told me that he was talking with a diocesan priest he knew very well who told him: “Teddy got screwed.” O’Brien said that I was the only priest in the diocese that was allegated by girls (Father Robert Kelley was legated by girls.). O’Brien then said everyone else in the diocese were allegated by boys. I recall saying that I was the “Poster Boy” model by the Worcester diocese. I did remind Bob that his truck was where it all began-my journey up Calvary- in January of ’93 with Mr. Palmer sitting in the trucks drivers seat asking me if I was a priest in the Worcester Diocese and what did I think of Bishop Harrington. Then I was told by Palmer the whole story of Bishop Harrington’s drunken driving accident in hitting his daughter. I also reminded O’Brien the when these two girls that allegated me were 12 years old, I was in Michigan. 

April 11, 2005

                So we may get a viewpoint of “signs of the times” in our country, Newsweek published “Touching America: He was both a critic and inspiration. How John Paul II divided our nation with his bold stances.”

                Melinda Henneberger wrote: “For all of his grandfatherly warmth, Pope John Paul II was a dependably harsh critic of American culture. He disapproved of our consumerism. He opposed our wars. And thought fiercely anti-communist, he argued for the kind of structural economic change his staunchest friends in the United States would have called socialism. On the first of his four papal trips here, in the fall of 1979, John Paul bluntly compared American to the rich man in the Bible story who is damned for all eternity after a life spent feasting-contentedly oblivious to Lazarus, the beggar who longer for the scraps from the table. ‘It is not right,’ the pope reached in English at a mass in Yankee Stadium, ‘which the standards of living of the rich countries should seek to maintain it by draining off a great part of the reserves of energy and raw materials that are meant for the whole of humanity.’

                “The Rev. Thomas Reese, a Jesuit and editor of the Roman Catholic magazine America, says he will never forget that moment. ‘He looks out and says,’ you are the rich man and Lazarus is at your gate and it’s the Third World.’ That's scary. But we applauded, went home and went back to life as usual.’ It was the pope’s pronouncements on sexual issues-from birth control to homosexuality-that got all the media attention, of course. Yet John Paul never stopped decrying our ‘excesses of capitalism.’ Last summer, after the pope lectured American bishop’s that their people were ‘hypnotized by materialism, teetering before a soulless vision of the world,’ the Catholic writer Eugene Kennedy responded: ‘Pope John Paul II might as well be French for the studied distaste he expresses abouts America.’

                “Most of us took no offense. As Cardinal Theodore McCarrick of Washington put it, the reactions of many American Catholics has bee, ‘I’m not sure I agree with him. But, oh, I love the Holy Father.’ And though his word was far from universally heeded, John Paul had a significant spiritual and intellectual influence on his American flock…”46 

April 17, 2005

                I had Sunday lunch with “Father Peacock.” He was talking in his “hinting” manner about priest that is even dead are being allegated. He made the remark that any priest may be allegated by an “anonymous” call-in.

                Now, I didn’t at this time been able to read the Sunday local newspaper. So, when I did, I realized in reading Dianne Williamson column “Conte isn’t interested in help: Victims’ rights group troubled by kiss-off.”

                Williamson writes: “Kiss-offs come in many forms by they’re still kiss-offs, even if they’re unstintingly polite and bear the seal of the Worcester district.

                “A well-meaning nonprofit group recently revived a royal kiss-off as it tried to open channels of communication between victims of abuse and law enforcement authorities. And if we require another reminder that District Attorney John J. Conte has been dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, we need look no further than his cool reception to Victim Power.

                “ is a novel approach to aiding victims of sexual abuse. Aware that victims are often hesitant or fearful to come forward, at least initially, the Web site offers them a safe place to make an anonymous report, while at the same time providing police or district attorneys with information that could aid them in investigations. Unlike anonymous phone tips, it also enable victims to communicate back and forth with law enforcement while remaining anonymous as long as they wish-or until they become comfortable enough to identify themselves…”47

                This was when I read this in the evening that I wondered why “Father Peacock” was so concerned and nervous about this issue. I even wondered even more.

                I noticed that “Father Peacock” was not looking good. He told me that he was drained by diet of fruit. He had an ash completion.

                Robert Nemeth column of this day wrote in the same paper “Election of new pope to defuse abuse crisis.”

                He states: “Let there be no misunderstanding: Sexual aubse of children is an ugly crime that must be punished severely. It is especially disturbing when the abuser is a priest because men of the cloth are in position of trust. Any attempt by church leaders to cover up wrongdoing or shield the abusers-either because of misplaced compassion or fear of scandal-is wrong.

                “But it s not unreasonable to ask: How long should the recrimination go on?

                “What started out as a legitimate effort torridness the sins of an errant few appears to have grown into a venomous and relentless attack on the church itself, uniting Catholic-haters, religious-bashers, attention-seekers and fortune hunters. It is entirely overlooked that less than 1 percent of all priests has ever been implicated in sexual abuse, and no new incidents have been reported in years. Yet bishops and cardinals are treated with the kind of contempt usually reserved fro criminals and priests are viewed with suspicion.

                “Until the 1960s and 1970s, when women’s groups and child advocates began to call attention to sexual abuse, society was pretty much in denial about such crimes. The realization of the problem trigged reaction with a vengeance.

                “Suddenly, there was ‘aggressive counseling,’ ‘hypnotic repression’ and ‘recovered memory,’ along with survivors’ networks, victim advocates and inevitably, false accusations. In the 1980s, the nation was shocked by reports of horrible child abuse at day care centers across the country. Most of the ensuing convictions were thrown out in subsequent years.

 “Today, sexual abuse litigation is a lucrative industry, spawning law firms that specialize in compensation and analysts digging into forgotten memories. It’s worth noting that large chunks of the settlement award end up in the pockets of wealthy lawyers who often orchestrate media events to drum up more business.

                “People alleging aubse that occurred in the past began to come forward. Perhaps they still felt the pain and wanted their tormentors to be punished. Some may have tired to justify personal failures and seek vindication. Perhaps others were motivated by the prospect of financial rewards.

                “While true victims of sexual abuse deserve support, I find it difficult to feel sympathy for able-bodied adults in their 30s and 40s parading in front of the cameras, demanding ‘justice’ for abuses that are supposed to have occurred decades ago. Some had collected six-figure settlements in exchange for confidentiality only in return later to get more.

                “The church has been an easy target. Rather than letting the courts deal with each accusation, church leaders opted to pay huge settlement-a questionable strategy at best. Settling out of court tends to imply guilty or, at times, protect the guilty. We will never know how many of the hundreds of abuse claims settled by the Boston Archdiocese were justified and how many were bogus. But we do know the financial strain caused by paying out more than $85 million in awards led to the closing of diocesan of churches…As long as the church continues to shell out huge sums, the claims are likely to continue. It would have been better to apply the presumed-innocent-until-found-guilty principle to all clerical sexual buses cases…”48

                I believe that Robert Nemeth is not a Catholic. One has to realize that it is someone as this person that knows the situation a lot more than many people and makes observations that I imagine some people do not care to read or realize. 

April 18, 2005

                “Child sex abuse cases up 33 percent in 4 years” by The Associated Press writes in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette: “Framingham-The number of child sex aubse cases prefer to prosecutors by the state Department of Social Series has increased by more than 33 percent in the last four years, but officials say that does not necessarily mean more children are being abused.

                “The increase, from 1,219 in 2001 to 1,713 last year, according to state statistics, could just mean that more cases are being reported. Laws have been enacted increasing the number of ‘mandatory reporters’ who must inform police of suspected abuse.

                “The list now includes doctors and other health care workers, teachers, day care workers, foster parents, and clergy.

                “At the same time the list has grown, the public has become more aware of the warning signs of abuse, and that may have led to an increased in reporting. Department of Social Services spokesman Michael MacCormack said… Back than, officials reached out to educators, school nurses and guidance counselors, to train them to spot signs of abuse, and that effort is paying off today.

                “ ‘I don’t think thee are anymore cases out there; I think people are more vigilant,’ he said.

                “ ‘Certainly, the media has helped let people know this is a problem that won’t go away, and keeping it a secret is a no-no. Keeping it a secret is a crime, because that’s what drives the child being victimized,’ he said.

                “The goal now is to reduce the number of reports of child sexual abuse.

                “Law enforcement today is armed with a better understanding of the long-term effects of abuse on both abusers and victims, and own to deal with it, Middlesex District Attorney Martha Coakley said.”49 

April 19, 2005

                I had jury duty in the Worcester District Superior Court. I sat in the jury pool for 5 hours and was never called.

                On the Internet for this day was this article from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel entitled “Dolan backs off on policy to search priests’ homes: Overwhelming negative reaction prompt reversal.”

                Mary Zhan writes: “Archbishop Timothy Dolan has temporarily backed off of a policy that would require priests to consent to unannounced searches of their homes and other retractions if church officials suspect or know they have been involved inappropriate behavior.

                “On Tuesday, Dolan said he decided to put the policy on hold after an ‘overwhelming negative reaction by priests,’ some of whom read about the changes in a Journal Sentinel story that was published Friday.

                “He said he should have consulted with the priests before approving the policy in December.

                “‘They are very angry with me,’ Dolan said. ‘That anger is legitimate, and I am very angry with myself.’

                “”The Council of Priests, an advisory group to the archbishop, will review the policy on April 28, according to Father Curt Frederick, the archduchess’s vicar for clergy.

                “The policy could be amended or refined ‘if the priests think it is wise,’ Dolan said. He added that he had received very few positive comments about the policy from parishioners or priests.

                “Priests were notified of Dolan’s decision in an e-mail Monday from Frederick.

                “‘Given the current firestorm I have suggested to the Archbishop that the documents be held in abeyance for the time being and he has agreed with that suggestion,’ Frederick wrote. ‘I am terribly sorry for any and all of the upset and consternation that the untimely release of these materials caused. It is a mess, and it reopens wounds that all of us want healed. I admit it. It wasn’t intended to be so.

                “The new policy was sent out in a routine annual mailing about other unrelated matters in early April. Some priests had tossed the mailing aside, assuming it was not important, until a reporter called asking for comment.

                “One document dealt specifically with priests who sexually abused minors and the second with other categories of possible or known misconduct, including sexual behavior with adults or drug or alcohol aubse. Both contained the same potential restriction and covered more than 400 priest and 150 deacons.

                “Under both policies, if the archdiocese deemed it necessary clerics would have had to sign a form agreeing to the searches and other restrictions.

                “Restrictions would be tailored to fit the circumstances of each person and not all of them would apply to everyone, a spokesman for the archdioceses said last week, failure to comply with the restrictions could have caused a reduction in salary or benefits, according to the policy…The intent of the initiative, Frederick said, was ‘to try to help guys lead holy and chaste lives.’…”50

                Questions? Does this also include the Archbishop? Does one have to give up the rights of being an American citizen? How do they define “inappropriate behavior”?  How about someone in the diocese have an agenda against your from some 20 years ago?

                When I read something as such, I recall the early days after ordination and the rectory housekeeper routine of making the priest bed. Talk about the “pastor’s spy” was the code know by parish priest. There never was any privacy. Yet, with such a direction in Milwaukee, it was something else to read of a “police state” with a priest possibly being penalized with “Big Daddy” watching. We are here talking about the 21st Century. The button line of even penalizing priest on issues of salary or benefits is another whole issue. Yet, the Vicar for Clergy backs the issue of having this to “to try helping the guy’s lead only and chaste lives.” Is this 1984 by George Orwell relived?

                This is another part of the curtain slowly opening on Act I. 

April 21, 2005

                Kathleen A. Shaw gives us “Mass. Abuse victims told to stop protest At Vatican” in this day’s Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Shaw writes: “The second day of the pontificate of Pope Benedict XVI did not go well for Phil Saviano, a former East Douglas resident.

                “Vatican security guards confiscated his sign that identified him as a clergy abuse victim from Boston yesterday and asked him not to display it inside St. Peter’s Square, he said.

                “Mr.  Saviano, a founder of the New England chapter of Survivors Net work of those Abused by Priests, is in Rome this week speaking on behalf of clergy sexual abuse victims. He was conducting media interviews on Vatican property when the problems began, he said.

                “‘They were polite. In fact, they said ‘Please don’t show that sign here,’ Mr. Saviano said. He came away from the experience feeling that ‘the Vatican remains very dark and repressive place, at least on this issue.’

                “Mr. Saviano, who plans to return to Massachusetts tomorrow night, said he left his motel for St. Peter’s Square about 12:30 p.m. Rome time yesterday to see if he could speak to European news media about the clergy  sexual abuse issue.

                “He wore around his neck a 5-inch-by7-inch Grammar school photo of himself at the age he said he was sexually abuse by the Rev. David A. Holley at St. Denis parish, East Douglas. Rev. Holley, still a priest of Worcester diocese, is serving a 275-year prison term in New Mexico after pleading guilty to sexual abusing several boys in that state…”51 

April 22, 2005

                The Catholic Free Press reports “Bishop requests prayers for assault victims.”

                The article reports: “Bishop McManus has asked for prayers for those involved in the case in which Father Jean-Paul Gagnon has admitted to sufficient facts for a finding of guilt on two counts of assault and battery.

                “Father Gagnon was charged with indecent assault and battery on two adult males, one in August 2001, and one in October 2002, according to Worcester District Attorney John Conte.

                “He admitted to sufficient facts to the finding of built in that part of the cases charging assault and battery. The case was presented in a six-man jury session of Worcester District Court.

                “He is subject to probationary conditions, including submitting to alcoholic evaluation and to treatment if it is deemed necessary by the portion department, the district attorney said Tuesday.

                “Father Gagnon, pastor of St. Augustine Parish in Millville, was placed on administrative leave in July 2003, by Bishop Reilly…”52

                This is the end of Jean-Paul.

                One of the editorials of the National Catholic Reporter this day is “Law’s power a symbol of deeper crisis.”

                I include here certain sections” “What will not fade, however, is the power of symbol to evoke deeper truths and to raise unsettling questions. Law’s presence in the limelight once more-not before the media answering long standing questions about the diocese he left in disarray, but as a representative of the church in a high-profile setting, a place of honor-was an unbelievably inept and insensitive move…Someone who has caused such great damage to a major diocese through mismanagement and ultimately the cover-up of child sex abuse should not be allowed near the levers of power in the church.

                “Vatican defends of Law suggest that he has already paid for what he did in Boston by losing that see, and they say his appointment in 2004 as arch-priest of St. Mary Major in Rome merely acknowledged a lifetime of service to the church, that it was a sign that the church believes in forgiveness and redemption for everyone.

                “If the sex abuse scandal and resulting crises of authority and creditability in the church could be so easily collapsed into such notions of forgiveness and redemption, the matter would have been over long ago. It isn’t that easy. The community can forgive but still wait for an accounting

                “Well leave it to God and to those affected by Law’s conduct in the scandal to deal personally with such deeply individual matters. That is not to suggest that the community cannot forgive and acknowledge an individual’s redemption within it. But it is intolerable, both to the community and to those individuals whose lives have been so seriously affected by Law’s actions, to suggest that continued pursuit of accountability is equivalent to a lack of forgiveness.

                “What the Vatican’s explanation seems to imply is that we should not only forgive but also become reconciled to Law in a way that would mean discontinuing any discussion of what happened in Boston and to stop connecting it to what is happening now.

                “But reconciliation cannot be forced; it depends as much as acknowledgment of what went wrong as it does the will of both parties to reconcile. Reconciliation had within it expectations of justice, of a certain equanimity between parties, of a meeting of minds. Such cannot happen at a distance or by wish or imposition.

                It bears repeating that the sexual abuse crisis is no longer mostly about sexual abuse, It is more enduringly a crisis of authority and accountability….”53 

April 23, 2005

                “Justice for some” appeared on the Internet in Globe Editorial of this day.

                It stated: “Massachusetts has storage of lawyers who represent poor clients, from criminal defendants to children who need legal representation in custody cases. Fortunately, a new report form a state commission offers ways to protect the poor and control cost.

                “The shortage has been corrosive. Last year in Hampden County, defendants sat in jail because lawyers refused to accept the state’s low hourly rates: a range of $30 to $50 depending on the case. Lawsuits were filed seeking relief for defendants. And three prisoners were released because the state couldn’t find lawyer for them.

                “Some critics unfairly blame the lawyers. The problem is a resource-poor system. There are 140 lawyers on staff at the state’s Committee for Public Counsel Services, but they handle only 5 percent of the cases. The rest are assigned to 2,500 private; lawyers.

                “Last August the Legislature raised their pay by $7.50 an hour-a sportive step but not a long-term solution. The commission’s report wisely calls for more: raises phased in over three years to a range of $55 to $110 an hour and a plan to keep salaries current. An independent lawyer handling similar cases could change five times more.

                Missing is specific recommendation to raise the salaries of entry-level lawyers who work full-time for CPCS. The earn $35,000 a year, $8,400 less than lawyers who work for other state agencies.

                “The House budget proposal for the coming fiscal year does not raise salaries, leaving time for legislators to review the report. But further review would be redundant. The House should act on a budget amendment filed by Brian Knuttila of Gardner that would spend $24 million for first round of raises…”54

                What is one point of reference here is that Knuttila is my representative. It does not mean much to me at this time. But the fees issue is something because my civil attorney was $250 an hour-he even gave me a discount. Help! 

April 28, 2005

                I had my scheduled appointment with Dr. Zeman in Hartford. I had lunch with a priest from Hartford. He was talking how that is all he hears about is that the most pressing issue in the American Church is the priest sex abuse crisis. This priest mentioned that Fr. Richard McBride’s made this comment in Time magazine. He was bumbling along with this and saying “Enough” and “How much more?” It was a very interesting lunch to say the least. Actually, it was downer type of lunch.  

April 29, 2005

                I began moving my furniture this day up the stairs. Actually, I had been packing for two weeks. I would now occupy my new place.               

April 30, 2005

The Internet of The Boston Globe reports “Vatican to evaluate American seminaries.
Rachel Zoll, AP Religion Writer reports: “A Vatican evaluation of American seminaries planned three years ago in response to the clergy sex abuse crisis is expected to move forward under new Pope Benedict XVI and will likely tacked the polarizing issue of whether gays should become priests.

                “The appraisal will focus on conditions in the seminaries, including how instructors present church teaching on sexuality and celibacy, to look for anything that contributed to the scandal.

                “Church officals conducting the review will inevitably take up complaints that gays are enrolling in large numbers in the seminaries and their sexual activity is too tolerated at the schools, experts on Catholicism said. Some Catholics content an atmosphere of sexual permissiveness-for straight and gay seminarians-was a factor in the crisis, which has led to more than 11,000 abuse claims in the last five decades.

                “Dean Hoge, a Catholic University sociologist who has spent 30 years studying the priesthood, said seminary rectors are anxious about the review-called an ‘apostolic visitation.’

                “‘Having the boss show up makes anyone nervous,’ Hogan said.

                “Vatican officials announced the evaluation in April 2002, after Pope John Paul II convened an emergency summit with U.S. cardinals ate the height of the scandal. The visits had been set to begin this fall. Church officials expect that schedule to stay about the same, even with the transition to a new papacy. Benedict has been in office less than two weeks.

                “Several church experts said they expected few changes in how the review will be conducted, since planning has been under way for so long and shifting direction now would be difficult. More than 200 schools will be evaluated in a process that could take years.

                “The Vatican agency overseeing the project-the Congregation for Catholic Education-has already been given a list of recommended bishops and priests to visit the seminaries. Archbishop Edwin O’Brien of the U.S. Military Archdiocese has been appointed to coordinate the review.

                “The Vatican education office has also been drafting new guidelines for accepting candidates for the priesthood that could address the question of whether gays should be admitted. The church considers gay relationships ‘intrinsically disordered.’…”55 

May 3, 2005

                I read in the Christian Century “Cardinal Law’s role in Rome recalls church’s scars.”

                It stated: After a grand funeral attracting world leaders to the Vatican and crowds urging a speedy sainthood for the late Pope John Paul II, the assigning of a former U.S. cardinal to celebrate one of the masses in St. Peter’s Basilica during the mourning period reminded Americans of the scars still present in the U.S. church.

                “Cardinal Bernard Law, the former archbishop of Boston who resigned fro mishandling the clergy sex-abuse scandal, presided over the mass April 11 while news media covered a small protest from victim advocates who said that Law didn’t deserve the honor.

                “Two leaders of the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests (SNAP) flew to Rome to complain that allowing Law such a prominent pulpit poured ‘salt into an already open wound.’ Barbara Blaine, president of the Chicago-based SNAP was escorted by Italian police from St. Peter’s Square and kept behind traffic barriers when she attempted to distribute fliers to pilgrims and tourists in the square.

                “Law presided at one of the daily memorial masses during the nine-day mourning period for John Paul, who died April 2. Last year, John Paul named Law to the largely ceremonial post of archpriest of the Basilica of St. Mary Major in Rome.

                “Blaine said Law never should have been asked, or at least should have rescued himself out of concern for victims. She did not, however, contest his right to vote in the conclave to elect a new pope…”56 

May 6, 2005

                I received a phone call from Donald Sarin who was trying to contact me. I knew him in my days as deacon in Michigan. He now is living in Lenox, Massachusetts. He told me he called the Archdiocese of Boston who told him no such priest was part of the archdiocese. But, they believe he may be in Fitchburg who was the Worcester Diocese. So he called 508-791-7171-Worcester Chancery Office. The woman who answered said that she did not think that he (Fr. Kardas) was a priest anymore. Oh? I guess that must be the Rueger and company message concerning me for public consumption.

                I haven’t spoken with Don for some 35 years. I imagine we have some interesting stories to share with each other.

                In a follow-up to the Internet article of April 19th on Archbishop Dolan, the National Catholic Reporter published “Dolan back off priest monitoring.”

                Joe Federhered reports: “Milwaukee Archbishop Timothy Dolan is not shy about admitting mistakes.

                “‘It was ass backward!’ Dolan told Milwaukee priest in an April 15 e-mail, referring to implementation of two programs designed to monitor the behavior of troubled prelists.

                “‘Like the rest of you,’ Dolan told priest, ‘I woke up this morning to the headlines and article in the newspaper, and found myself upset. I’m perhaps even more upset than you all because I caused it!’

                “Dolan was referring to the archdiocese’s clergy advocacy and monitoring program (CAMP)-an effort to supervise priests and deacons found to have abused minors-and its ‘Clerical Support Initiative,’ which would have subjected clergy with other serious problems, such as addiction or alcoholism, to intrusive inspections and oversight.

                “Following an outcry from priests and others in the archdiocese, Dolan suspended implementation of the programs.

                “Among the techniques that would have been allowed under the programs were unscheduled inspections of clergy residences. ‘These visits may be made at any time of the day or night, seven days per week,’ according to program guidelines.

                “In addition to seeking treatment for their troubles, priests under the programs could have faced restrictions on their ministry, including identifying themselves as a priest or deacon. Other possible restrictions included limits on computer use, monitoring of travel and relocation of their homes. A priest ‘may…be required to move his residence to a residence that is approved by the archbishop,’ according to the guidelines.

                “Further, the guidelines stipulated that priests and deacons in one of the programs ‘must abide by any other directives established due to special circumstances as deemed necessary and appropriate by the program managers…Nevertheless, Dolan acknowledged, ‘the perception …is that we have declared martial law on priest, are continuing to trample upon their rights, and do not trust them at all.’ In the April 15 e-mail, Dolan blamed that ‘perception’ on press reports is that id dot make ‘distinctions’ about the programs…”57

                It is interesting how the hierarchy is creeping along with the clerical state issue and overall monitoring mentality. Would this not be called “harassment”? One does have responsibilities wherever one is in a state of life and have behaved and act accordingly.

                The Milwaukee program using CAMP is significant because this is a term on the streets that has another significant meaning. Anyone in a job position has a certain protocol of leaving information on travel or otherwise needed to be reached. I wonder is this Milwaukee document is the reinventing of the Gestapo. I wonder if this policy, as I said, in previous entry about this, would include the as well the Archbishop.

                I recall hearing this type of stories before in my ministry. I had to remind myself to keep moving and have a life. 

May 7, 2005

                Finally I am getting back to writing my text contents of my journal since my move into my new place. I had to sit a few moments to orientate myself with the computer and mindset of the period of time I was writing about. 

May 8, 2005

                I received a phone call from “Father Peacock”. He wanted to go to lunch. It had been about three weeks since we last went for a coffee or lunch. He lost 44 pounds and will have his two stints removed on June 6th. He still would not tell me what the issue is with him.

                He shared with me that the Catholic Free Press story about Father John-Paul Gagnon is a different story than what was reported in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette. He said that this guy was sent for a psychological evaluation where the Free Press said there was alcohol treatment mentioned. He mentioned that this priest and another on Administrative Leave do Mass in their apartments with people attending. This is something that I am very careful about. I do daily Mass privately. He said: You are behaving yourself and they treat you the way they do. I believe that he was trying to bet me to say something more about my situation. I said nothing more.

                He then let go with a angry blast of words how about 10 years ago, alcohol was a “psychotic drug” and now with “Medallions” are given to members as being heroes from an AA meeting. This is a false observation on his part.

                What I was not sensitive too before was that “Father Peacock” really had difficulty accepting with his PhD in Theology and attitude. About AA and the use of “Higher Power of one understands.” He became continuing with his angry in his discussion with this issue but he was actually red faced.

                He then shifted in his discussion of his spending habits. He said over the years that he was very careful in his spending. But now whatever he want he get the best and doesn’t hold back for anything he wants.

                He finished his tirade in telling me that a Bishop Dolan is going to institute “martial law” on the priesthood. I asked him where he received such information. He told me that it was in the newspaper. Here we go again, because this guy would not share any sources that he reads with me. He does the one-upper sequence with such news items. I would listen and say nothing, knowing that I would search for his source of information and read it myself.

                This lunch with “Father Peacock” was some experience. He was in a very angry mood with negative energy... There is another story here is that I imagine will blossom in the near future.

May 10, 2005

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette published in this days issue “Gay, straight men smell sex differently: Response to testosterone in sexual area of brains studied” by Randolph E. Schmitt of The Associated Press.

                It states: “Washington-Scientists trying to sniff out biological differences between gay and straight men have found new evidence-in scent.

                “It turns out that sniffing a chemical form testosterone, the male sex hormone, causes a response in the sexual area of gay men’s grains, just as it does in the brains of straight we, but not in the brains of straight men.

                “ ‘It is one more piece of evidence…that is showing that sexual orientation is not all learned,’ said Sandra Witelson, an expert on brains anatomy and sexual orientation is not all learned,’ said Sandra Witelson, an expert on brain anatomy and sexual orientation at the Michael G. Detroiter School of Medicine at McMaster University in Ontario, Canada.

                “Witelson, who was to part of the research team that conducted the study, said the findings show a biological involvement in sexual orientation.

                “The study published in today’s issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, was done by researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden.

“They exposed heterosexual men and women and homosexual men to chemicals derived from male and female sex hormones. These chemicals are thought to be pheromones-molecules known to trigger responses such as defense and sex in many animals.

“Whether human respond to pheromones has been debated, although in 2000 American researchers reported finding a gene that they believe directs a human pheromone receptor in the nose.

The brains of different groups responded similarly to ordinary odors such as lavender, but differed in their response to the chemicals thought to be pheromones, lead researchers Ivanka Savic said…When confronted by a chemical from testosterone, the male hormone, portions of the brains active in sexual activity were activated in straight women and in gay men, but not in straight men, the researchers found…”58

                A coupe observations that the local newspaper would carry such an article. Secondly, the theory of homosexuality being a person is “born” as such and not a learned factor of being human. 

May 12, 2005

                I realized of late sleeping now in my new place that I have not changed my pajama tops for some time. Now that I am on the second floor and there is not the dampness I experienced on the ground floor. This may be helping me with my sinuses. Yesterday, it in the 80s outside and I had all my windows open with the porch door open to have a breeze. It was so bright and relaxing this afternoon that I enjoyed working at my computer. I figured that I had to invest in a comfortable chair for my computer typing. 

May 14, 2005

                I thought for a period this day: I used to being called immature and they became more supplicated. In doing research, writing and revision, I am more stared today because of the spied and amplification of a 24-hur news cycle, suitable television and the Internet are part of our today’s history. 

May 17, 2005        

                I received a card from Bishop McManus for my Ordination Anniversary. It was the regular form card with “machine signature” of the bishop. I read the card and realized that this is the only contact I have all year long with the official Church.

                I read Decline and Fall of the Catholic Church in America by David Carlin (2003) in the last few weeks. This work expresses that one has to avoid cheap hope and bleak despair in the overall picture of the Church situation of the day. The author expresses that the problem with the present Catholic Church is not in scandals read in daily headlines but rather the shift in American culture to embrace secularism, libertarianism (Theory where empowered Catholic laity are outside the area of the official Church-Harvey Cox) and anti-authorities values. He writes that people adapt by downplaying their faith-issue of tolerance in the present culture. Another issue this author referees to is relativism- form of democracy where one follows one’s ego and desires. Carlin is a sociology professor in a community college in Rhode Island if that makes any difference in what he relates in this work. He does give some insights that I don’t read about very much in the American Catholic scene. I find very interesting insights in Carlin’s work

                But, what I hear now as a parish as St. Edward’s in Westminster is that there seems to be a place where there are answers to questions not even asked. I wonder if the issue may be that no questions dare to be asked. It obviously is a different church community than of the 80s and 90s. The present atmosphere of cut-off any debate before the discussion is able to begin is in Westminster and many other locations.

                I mentioned this book by Carlin and my observation to a former priest classmate. He reacted: The Church (Hierarchy) got rid of people they wanted to get rid of. Oh? He also mentioned how they operate where Rueger is retired and some say he doesn’t mean anything now. The classmate said: He pushes the button-one- and 50 lights go on.

May 18, 2005

                This day Kathleen A. Shaw writes “Details sought in priest removal: Check parishes says Maine activist” in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Shaw writes: “Worcester-A Maine activist yesterday called on Bishop Richard Malone to explain why the Rev. Michael J. Sheridan was dismissed from the Portland Diocese and sent back to Worcester this weekend after the priest was allegedly involved in an inappropriate incident with a female in me at a northern Maine jail.

                “The Portland Diocese declined to discuss details other than to say it was a personal matter. Michael Povich, district attorney for Washington and Hancock counties, also declined to discuss specifics on Monday, but indicated it was an interaction between the priest and a woman, part of which was caught on videotape by jail staff. He said no criminal conduct had occurred. Bishop Maloney of Portland said the priest was involved in prison ministry…Rev. Sheridan, 56, left Worcester for northern Maine about 10 years ago. He never became a priest of the Maine diocese, although he ministered thee with permission of the Main bishop. Ordained in Worcester in1975, he remained a priest of the Worcester Dicoese. The diocesan directory lists 16 priests of the Worcester Dicoese who are ministering elsewhere in locations ranging from Peru to the Vatican, and a number of places within the United States and the armed services…The bishop (Maine) during the weekend sent members of the diocesan crisis team into the parishes to meet with parishioners and answer questions.”59

May 21, 2005

              The Worcester Telegram & Gazette published “Boston archdiocese gets $8.5 M.”

                The story reported: “Boston—The Boston Archdiocese has agreed to an $8.5 million settlement with an insurance carrier that disputed the archdiocese’s claims related to payments to clergy sex abuse victims, the archdiocese announced yesterday.

                “The carrier, St. Paul Travelers, also agreed to waive certain premiums the archdiocese would have owned.

                “The archdiocese said some of the contested claims with St. Paul were part of the $85 million settlement with 541 abuse victims in September 2003. Negotiations with St. Paul began shortly after the settlement, the archdiocese said.”60 

May 22, 2005

                The People’s Forum of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette we have a letter by Rev. Robert D. Bruso, St. Anthony Parish, Fitchburg entitled “Everyone is wanted by Christ, church.”

                The letter states: “As a pastor of a Catholic parish, I tend to look fro the bright side of everything, including conflict. A letter to the editor by Paul J. Rock of Worcester and an ‘As I See It” by Daniel E. Dick (Telegram & Gazette, May 17) show how passionate Catholics can be about their faith. Clearly, if they didn’t care, they wouldn’t write as they did, but both would benefit form dialogue, correct information and Christian charity.

                “Who authorized Mr. Rock to state, ‘Why stay where you’re not wanted?’ Everyone is wanted by Christ and the church, for all are precious in the sight of the Lord. Indeed, Catholic means universal, all-inclusive.

                “And where did Mr. Dick get his information? I doubt he’s ever read a blood by Pope Benedict (Cardinal Ratzinger). As the National Catholic Reporter reviewer for his latest book in English translation, ‘Truth and Tolerance,’ wrote days before his election, it’s time for us to get past the stereotype of the stern German taskmaster and read his theology, filled with thoughtful, sensitive and compassionate reflection.”61

                 When I read this, it is definitely the “party line” of the ideal of the Church. But, once you get to the next step in the Church, you are officially reminded of issues as such. Try certain “hot button” issues and you will get the “power and authority” answers. God forbid if “conscience” is ever discussed in decision matters.

                This type of letter shows me that the Vatican is replacing a whole new generation of super-neurons. 

May 23, 2005

                This is my 35th Anniversary of ordination. Besides the standard card from the bishop, I received only one other card of remembrance of my ordination anniversary. Actually, I was not surprised because with time people move on with their lives.

                People take situations as tragedies that makes a bi hoe in one’s soul of a lived one. But, after morning and reflection, you are a healing and moving on with positive strength in certain qualities. But, one question never asked is: What happens when a person disappears? We are living in a time where information of privacy has a witch hunt and gate damaging taking place by certain groups. So, where does one move forward with one’s life? I realize, especially now, to just do it. Things get better. This type of insight has come to me mainly through attending the AA program.  

May 24, 2005

                I was thinking of late to write a number of fiction stories. Areas that I would be able to write would be with titles: The Priest Poster Boy, The Great Flood of Elm Street-Worcester Chancery Building, and another The Worcester Bishop on the Stand. These would definitely be interesting reading.

May 31, 2005

                I noticed that since last year, I have a somewhat a change in thinking that I was talking about issues with a slant of humor. It did not carry-over into my journal writing as such. But, it has been in my conversations as such. This I noticed in speaking with “Father Peacock.” I used humor to answer his questions or discussions. I know he uses a brainstorming approach at times to get information. Another factor I realized with him is that he would have the spotlight-topic on something else so I would not direct the conversation. Even when he would talk, I noticed his slanting technique in his talking. I have had to polish-up a discerning technique to the highest level. You never get too comfortable talking with this guy. He has agendas in his personality and overall character.

                This is one reason that I have shifted my conversations to a humor direction.  Humor may be adapted to make certain points. I noticed it takes a polishing of my thinking but I feel that I address more than I had been in a “poor me” approach. I was moving myself form “The Church of dead and the Church of the dying.”

                I even had a phone call where from a former parishioner and staff member who asked: What are you doing daily? It is where I respond that one may read all about it in my book. It sounds to me as a sarcastic answer. But, it does neutralize the situation in my mind and get the conversation on what is happening in the day as such. What I have to realize is that is a question many people are wondering about me and my life and not sure what else to say. But, the old Ted senses: Nosey phone call. 

June 1, 2005

                I was told a zinger today. A guy that knew that I was a priest and a former Catholic said: Your president is going to get it.  I asked him what he was talking about. He said: “Michael Jackson-the trial in California is coming to an end.”  I didn’t pursue this remark from him nor where was he going with this remark. I believe that was slam on the priesthood in general and what had been happening concerning priest. The games go on being a priest.

                I was even thinking back that January date in 1993 at Bob’s Hot Dog Truck in West Boylston was the “Catholic Deep Throat” with Mr. Powers telling me about Bishop Harrington. What gets interesting is how one may associate certain events with significant events of history.

                I also notice myself acting with uncertainty and feeling jumpy. Another factor was that at AA meeting when it was my turn to speak that I spoke looking at the floor when I spoke and not the people sitting in the circle.

                This may have been where I was thinking about the Church system in the diocese operated in a deceptive manner because of certain “closet” groups. The hierarchy and certain brother priest wanted me out so they used the Doctor (evaluation), financial tactics and even Pedone saying: “We’ve got more on you!” with him pushing his finger into my chest. In addition, with this entire Rueger saying: “You’re going to do this again.” Thinking about this last comment from Rueger now, I should have had my civil lawyer sitting next to me.

                What I didn’t respond to him with: Going to do what again? But, I realized having to be near such a person is: People will think what they want to about you.

                I mentioned this experience to a friend (plant manager/salesman) in confidence. His remark: “So why didn’t you leave (priesthood)?” I answered: It’s a vocation! This I sensed was very difficult for this guy to understand because everything he did was a job. This was more than a job for me-the vocation. I should have responded in a similar way for him to leave his wife whenever they had difficulty.

                What I noticed of late that given the prominence of attacks in the media, the erosion of privacy, the reduction of issue to sound bits in society on certain “hot button” issues, there was no objective discussion or insights. So, I had to conduct myself with dignity in life’s politics. I wondered that God’s secret weapon in such a life called for mischief actions to make others wonder outside their boxes. 

June 2, 2005

                The atmosphere of the priest life is opened to criticism that one did not hear in public as such. The People’s Forum of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette of this day has a letter from a Susan Stranieri Mears of Oro Valley, Ariz.

                She wrote: “Mourners find comfort in eulogies- I’m a former resident of Worcester who ahs since moved to Arizona. I received my First Communion and confirmation at Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I also graduated from Venerini Academy, where the Rev. Michael P. Bafaro served as our school priest.

                “My mother and grandmother passed away suddenly and both funeral Masses were at Mount Carmel. My hurt was exacerbated by the rude, in caring and selfish treatment our family received from Rev. Bafaro. He seems to forget that the church is not his house; it’s the Lord’s house. It’s only right to let families honor their loved ones during a funeral Mass. Anyone who attends a funeral Mass knows the deceased and is comforted by the eulogy-not anxiously awaiting the end of the Mass. The only person who is anxious is Rev. Bafaro. He doesn’t want to spend any more time than is absolutely necessary. The look on his face while a family member is giving a eulogy is one of impatience and anger. He has ruled by intimidation for far too long. I admire the Oliver family and Dianne Williamson for speaking out for all of us.

                “I’ve known Rev. Bafaro for more than 40 years and he’s not changed a bit. His demeanor when I attended Venerini Academy was curt, hardly understanding and gruff. The church is experiencing many struggles and Rev. Bafaro only adds to that poor image. Is this what a spiritual leader looks like? From as far away as Arizona, I say a resounding “no.”62

                This is the climate of the present situation that priest and the Church are facing. I wonder how many “victims” of the present priest sex abuse crisis have agendas as this Susan Stranieri Mears carries carried as she wrote in this letter. But neither the priest nor the Church has been able to cross-examine any statements or allegations on their behalf. One reason that has to be realized is that there are lawyers on both sides of the issue.

June 3, 2005

                From the National Catholic Reporter,  we read in a letter from (Fr.) Jim Dougherty, Trenton, Ill.: Milwaukee priests- I rejoice with the priests of Milwaukee’s archdiocese over the removal of ‘Ecclesial Patriot Act’ of Archbishop Timothy Dolan, which tried to force unannounced search and secure tactics upon his priests and their homes (NCR ,May 6). It is particularly disturbing that the archbishop, in his own statement, blamed the press for ‘the perception…that we have declared martial law on priests.’ Thank God for people like reported Mary Zhan and papers like the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that exposed this trampling upon the rights of Milwaukee’s priests. With the Vatican firing of Fr. Thomas reset as editor of the Jesuit magazine America, thank God also for NCR and others free lay-run Catholic press efforts.63

                This is something to watch develop in the country with other archdioceses and dioceses. 

June 5, 2005

                I found this article on the Interest “Searching for a new maturity” by (Fr.) Ron Rolheiser, OMI.

                He writes a weekly column those papers on his web page. I read it periodically because I find his insights worth reflecting upon at different times.

                This topic of “maturity” is something I would read because it is a hot-button in my personhood because of what certain people have addressed me with such in a negative nature. I have carried that point of view because I always realized that maturity is one side of the coin with the other being a different perspective.

                Rolheiser writes: “‘Be in the world, but not of the world!’ Breath advise, but not easy to follow.

                “We struggle with this tension. On the one side, the temptation is to keep ourselves pure and unstrained by the world, but at the cost of excessively separating ourselves from it, not loving it, not leaving ourselves vulnerable as Jesus did to feel its pains, and not modeling how someone can live inside the world and still have a vibrant faith and church life. The other temptation is the opposite: To enter the world and love and bless its energy, but to do so in a way that ultimately offers nothing in the way being salt and light for the world.

                “We will never be free of this tension. Such is the price of paradox. However in order to live within it more healthily, we need a certain theology and spirituality to guide us and we need a greater personal maturity to sustain us.

                “What kind of theology and spirituality can help us? What kind of personal and collective maturity is being asked of us?

                “In terms of a theology and spirituality, what we need is a vision that holds in proper tension our love for the world and our love for God. One may not be sacrificed for the other; they must be brought into proper relation.

                “We need to be able to love the world in such way that we bless and honor its goodness, its energy, its color, its zest, and its moral strengths, ever as we stand where the cross of Jesus is forever being erected and speak prophetic words of challenge in the face of the world’s moral deficiencies, injustices, self-preoccupation, proclivity to greed, and less-than-full vision. But prophecy is predicated on love. Unless we first honor and bless what is good in the world we don’t have the moral right to criticize it.

                “We need to be in solidarity with the world in everything but sin, blessing it with one hand, even as we hold the cross of Christ with the other.

                “But that’s not easy. We don’t just lack the vision, we also lack the moral and emotional strength needed to imitate Jesus. He could walk with sinners, east with them, embrace them, forgive their sins, feel the pain and chaos of sin, yet not sin himself. He could challenge the world, even as he blessed and enjoyed its energies…”64

                Maturity vs. a different perspective is the challenge for me for some time and I imagine my life will always be a factor. When one searches or challenges a different perspective, it is a cross to be bared for me in the issue of authority and power...

                Another factor that I have had to realize: People will see what they want in you.

                “Father Peacock” let me read the Presbyter (Priest) minutes which he highlighted in yellow the issues of status of priest on leave of absence. I mentioned to him that I would want to read the whole report so I would be able to keep in context what he had highlighted. He said that he needed them back as such. This was his style with me with any printed matter as such.

                But, he did tell me that he spoke with Fr. Chet Devlin, who was place on administrative leave, in that Bishop Reilly allowed him “full retirement package” on his resignation as pastor. This is at least “$700” a month more than I received. The going number is $800 a month difference due to benefits included. I realized that such information from “Father Peacock” was not sharing information but putting it to me as a point of degrading me overall. It didn’t take me long to realize that he used such facts to signal me that I was not part of the “Boys in the Band.”

                In addition, “Father Peacock” said that Fr. Branconia is in the same position as I was-under Bishop Harrington’s regime. Branconia, I was told, was living with someone. He proceeded to tell me that I should move in with someone. I notice that he related this with a somber facial expression looking at me for a reaction to say if I would move in with someone-gay approach in living conditions or otherwise.

                 I was thinking to raise the issue here with “Father Peacock” in his information sharing the issue: How can one are only removed on an “accusation”? Don’t we live in an American system where one is innocent till prove guilty. Yet, with the Catholic Church and society in general such an accusation is the same as a conviction with a business settlement factor. 

June 6, 2005

                Here is a priest case that I will include in full to show how the system works for some. This article appeared in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette on page A2 from The Associated Press entitle “Accused priest will be reinstated: Sex abuse claims unsubstantiated.”

                It reads: “Boston-A priest accused of sexually abusing a child has been cleared to return to active ministry now that a church review panel has failed to substance the allegations, a spokesman for the Boston Archdiocese said yesterday.

                “The Rev. Edward Sherry was placed on administrative leave in 2003 after a lawsuit was filed accusing him of sexually abusing a child about 30 years earlier.

                “But a review board appointed by the archdiocese was ‘unable to substantiate this claim after a careful review of the information available,’ archdiocese spokesman Terry Donilon said.

                “Sherry is allowed to immediately return to his old job as pastor at the Church of the Nativity in Merrimac, Donilon said. He’s expected to celebrate Mass on Sunday.

                “The Rev. William Kremmell, who took over for Sherry at the Merrimac church two years ago, announced Sherry’s reinstatement during celebration of Mss over the weekend, according to Donilon.

                “Sherry was one of fur priests placed on leave in August 2003 in response to allegations of sexual misconduct with minors. Archbishop Sean P. O’Malley had met with the four priests individually and asked them to step aside until the allegations could be investigated.

                “Michael Garabedian, a Boston lawyer who represented several of Sherry’s accusers, said his clients already have settled their claims with the archdiocese. They refused to participate in the review panel’s investigation, Garabedian said.

                “‘My clients simply didn’t trust the process,’ he said. ‘They weren’t interested in participating in an investigation that was conducted by the Archdiocese of Boston, because it wasn’t an independent investigation.”65

                What is interesting in this article was that the Archdiocese of Boston and alleged victims already settled the civil lawsuit. What was that all about? Here is an issue that begs more questions as did the lawyers get paid-off? How was all this all done since everything is so public in this day and age? 

June 9, 2005

                I was thinking of writing the bishop which I never did saying: Until Bishop Harrington’s allegations are completely resolved; I won’t eat, sleep or do anything. What gets interesting is: Whatever happened after allegations were filed. We hear or read nothing.

                 I wonder why? By this time in my journey, it is already figured out how the Church system operated.  

June 10, 2005

                In these weeks Catholic Free Press issue was a “Supplement” in congratulating Bishop Rueger on his retirement. It seemed interesting how they wrote about Bishop Rueger’s life as a priest. However, nothing was included about his being allegated of sexual abuse in this supplement.  This would be a gold star where one had to attend Al-Alon program being associated with a system describing Bishop Rueger that the Catholic Free Press did in this printing.

                “Abuse settlement surpass $1B threshold” by Rachel Zoll of The Associated Press appeared on the front page of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Zoll wrote: “The cost to the U.S. roman Catholic Church of sexual predators in the priesthood has climbed above $1billon according to tallies by American bishops and the Associated Press review of known settlements.

                “And the figure is guaranteed to rise, probably by tens of missions of dollars, because hundred of more claims are pending.

                “Diocese around the country has spent at least $1.06 billon settlements with victims, verdicts, legal fees, counseling and other expenses since 1950, the AP found. $120 million compensation was announced last week by the Diocese of Covington, Ky., pushed the figure about the billon-dollar mark.

                “A large share of the cost-at least $378 million-has been incurred in the past three years, when the crisis erupted in the Boston Archdiocese and spread nationwide.

                “The Rev. Thomas Doyle, who left a promising career with the church to help represent victims, had warned the bishops in 1985 that abuse cost could eventually exceed $1 billon.

                “‘Nobody believed us,’ said Doyle, a canon lawyer. ‘I remember one archbishop telling me ‘my feeling about this, Tom, is no one’s ever going to sue the Catholic Church.’

                Asked about the figure, a spokesman for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, Monsignor Francis Maniscalco, said church leaders believe the payout ‘should be just to all sides…”66

                It is just amazing of the numbers. Doesn’t anyone see that there is something wrong with this picture? 

June 11, 2005

                When I am getting-up at my 5:00 a.m., I usually listened to Joey Reynolds on the radio. He had a radio program from 1:00 to 6:00 a.m. that I listened to from 1520 AM on your dial in Buffalo; He hosted a talk show in this night time bracket on a national circuit from WROR AM in New York City. He had some very interesting guest with his own commentaries that made it interesting hearing on my part. This particular morning, he had his commentary: Everyone has a book in them. I listened and knew that I had to work with more intensity to get my journal into this book form. Then, listening more to his segment, why not write fiction.

                Joey Reynolds commentaries were worth listening too: Thee American ruling class, Crazy cowboy in the White House who took us into a war and acts like a little god. Politics, military and money groups run this country (Ex. Private Groups and individuals pay not taxes to the government.) Joey Reynolds does present another viewpoint than the regular “locked” media does.

                What I noticed of a new pattern for St. Edward’s parish in Westminster for the annual Partners in Charity (Bishop’s Fund) wherein now in the last two years-since Bishop McManus- has reached their goal. St. Edward’s with Bishop Reilly did not make their goal for those 6 years that Reilly was the Ordinary. Wouldn’t one wonder and have some curious questions? “Patriotism is the last refuse of a scoundrel.” (Dr. Samuel Johnson)

                I was slacking in my writing. I had to get myself into writing at 2 ½ hours, twice a day sequence of the text format for my book. I notice that I had to do more research for different aspects of my daily journal that I continued writing with more insights.

                I noticed that I would experience periods of loneliness of being alone in my journey. I realized that I was listening to ads forefather’s Day which I allowed me to have a “downer” period of time. It was again that I did not have the faith community experience in my daily routine.

                Re-reading and wiring my text format had me realize a number of facts of my situation in that it was me alone. But, I had to realize that this is the society overall picture that exists in this day and age.  

June 13, 2005

                I found this article in Newsweek where I wondered if someone would write about the priest sex abuse issue in a similar format.

                The article “If Watergate Happened Now” by Jonathan Alter of the Newsweek staff is most interesting.

                Alter wrote: “From a distance, Watergate seems like a partisan affair. But that’s because we tend to look at it nowadays through red-and blue-tinted glasses. In truth, President Nixon was forced to resign in 1974 by Republicans in Congress like Barry Goldwater, who realized form the so-called smoking-gun tape that he was a crook. This was after the Supreme Court-led by a Nixon appointee-unanimously ruled against him the tapes case.

                “But imagine if Nixon was president in this ear. After he completed his successful secondary, I’ shave to write a retrospective column like this:

                “President Nixon left office in 2005 having proved me and the other ‘nattering nabobs of negativism’ wrong. We thought that his administration was sleazy but we were never able to nail him. Those of us who hoped it would end differently knew we were in trouble when former Nixon media adviser Roger Ailes banned the word ‘Watergate’ from Fox News’s coverage and went with the log ‘Assault on the Presence’ instead. By that time, the American people figured both sides were just spinning, and a tie always goes to the incumbent.

                “The big reason Nixon didn’t have to resign: the rise of Conservative Media, which features Fox, talk radio and a bunch of noisy partisans on the Internet and best-sellers list who almost never admit their side does anything wrong. (Liberals, by contrast, are always elating their own.) This solidarity came in handy when Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein of The Washington Post began shopping around after the break-in at the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee. Once they scored a few scoops with the help of anonymous sources, Sean Sanity et al. went on a rampage. When the young reporters printed an article about grand jury testimony that turned out to be wrong, Drudge and the loggers had a field die, even though none of them had lifted a finger to try to advance the story. After that, the Silent Majority wouldn’t shut up.

                “Some argue the Watergate story died right there, but Nixon’s attorney general wasn’t taking any chances. Just as in the Valerie Plane case, the Justice Department subpoenaed Woodward and Bernstein to testify before the grand jury about their sources. When the declined, they were jailed for 18 months on contempt charges. and a few other liberal bloggers complained that it was hypocritical-top White House aides were suspected of shredding documents, suborning perjury and paying hush money to burglars-but to no avail. Public support for the media had hit rock bottom.

                “Whistle –blowers didn’t fare much better…”67 

June 15, 2005

                Now we read a totally different approach of priest being assigned to parishes even with explanations given. The Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed “Worcester diocese reassigns priest” with no reporter’s name.

                The article stated “Romans Catholics at some area churches will see a bunch of new faces preaching to them form pulpits this summer.

                “Bishop Robert McManus recently announce several assignments for diocesan pastors and priests including the four clergymen ordained June 4 at St. Paul’s Cathedral in Worcester.

                “Bishop McManus has made a posting of or two now and then but the assignments announced last week represent the first major reshuffling of priestly staff since he became the Dioceses of Worcester’s fifth shepherd in May 2004.

                “The changes affect 18 priests.

                “Fifteen of the assignment is effective June 25 while three other become official Aug. 1.

                “Years ago, such a reshuffling wouldn’t draw much notice, given the number of diocesan priests.

                “At the time, church leaders believed turnover was good for both the priests involved and the parishes affected. Officials reasoned the changes brought new perspectives.

                “That all changed, however, as fewer and fewer men for a variety of reasons, chose the priesthood as a vocation.

                “Diocesan spokesman Raymond Delisle said the unusually high number of re-assignments resulted form a number of death, illnesses and retirements within the local priestly community.

                “After serving for six years in the same parish, priests, seeking a change of scenery, may also ask for re-assignment.

                “‘If the priest is happy working in a particular parish and the bishop sees no problems, there is usually is no reassignment,’ explained Mr. Delisle.

                “He said, however, that he believed a couple of the priests getting new posts may have been close to serving two six-yes stints in the same church, prompting changes in some parishes…”68

                Here always is more to such stories of priest getting transferred. The Worcester Chancery has developed the gift to make positive media announcements. We have between priests the talk: God doesn’t even know how re-assignments are made. 

June 18, 2005

                The on the Internet from The Boston Globe carried “Catholic bishops retain’ zero tolerance’ policy: Will set aside $1m for sex abuse study.”

                Michael Paulson, Globe Staff write: “Chicago-Three years after the sexual abuse crisis erupted in Boston, the Catholic bishops the United Stated noted overwhelmingly yesterday to retain their ‘zero tolerance’ policy of dismissing from the ministry all abusive priests.

                “The bishops, promising to maintain their efforts to protect children in the face of an enormous scandal over their past failure to most abusers, also agreed to set aside $1 million to partially finance a broad study of causes of abuse within the nation’s largest religious denomination.

                “In an interview, Archbishop Sean P. O’Malley of Boston pointed out that the bishops supported the revised abuse policies by overwhelming margins: The closest vote was 223 to 4.

                “‘I was very pleased with the vote,’ he said. ‘I think that it indicates that there’s still a strong resolution to move foreyard and there’s no backpedaling.’

                “Referring to the bishops’ response to the crisis over the past three years, he added, ‘I’m not saying we did everything perfectly, but at least there was a very decisive response and none that was an attempt to face the issues, try and quantify it, and now to try and contextualize it and to see if we can identify causes to be able to make sure that hits said history won’t repeats itself.’

                The steps were derided by critics, including a leading victim advocacy organization, who said a variety of wording changes approved by the bishops effectively weakened the abuse policies, first adopted in 2002. But the bishops insisted that the wording changes ere not substantive, and one leading bishop, Cardinal Francis E. George of Chicago, dismissed critics as ‘enemies of the church’…”69

                The Boys in the Catholic Hierarchy have also learned to use the media to get something out to cover for themselves. 

June 19, 2005

                I heard a lawyer character say on a TV program: Lawsuits are out there floating around waiting to be plucked from the air.

                I usually don’t life to mention something as such unless there is a definite source of reference. But, this one about the “lawyer character” is worth the print.

                I refer to a line from the Daily Divine Office (Breviary): “Go into your cell and it will teach you everything.” (Desert Fathers)

                What I have to realize at times in that all I have left is my integrity: You are a professional. Do not forget that!

June 21, 2005

                The People’s Forum of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed this letter for Denise Boucher Garofoli of Worcester: “St. John’s pastor should be reinstated-It can be done. As seen in Boston recently, a priest was reinstated after almost two years of exile because of false allegations.

                “The Rev. Joseph A. Coonan has been out longer, being removed because of allegations made 20 years ago and 10 years prior to his ordination to the priesthood. We, his parishioners, friends sand supporters are hopeful that he also will be reinstated as pastor to St. John’s Church, where because of his gift form God, he delivered the gospel message as a servant, one of God’s chosen, to many who were lost and came back to church and received the sacraments.

                “He only did what God called him to do: to be his priest and minister to his people.”70 

June 23, 2005

                “New panelist believes church on right track” appeared this day and written by Kathleen A. Shaw of the staff of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Shaw writes: “Paxton-A new appointee to a key panel advising the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on the clergy abuse scandal maintains that the most pressing needs confronting the church are restoring trust and devising means of better monitoring priests who have been credibly accused of sexual misconduct.

                “William D. McGarry, president of Anna Maria College, said in an interview that he believes the Catholic Church in America and its bishops are on the right track in dealing with the crisis but acknowledged that considerable work remains.

                “Mr. McGarry, one of fur people recently named to the conference’s National Review Board, returned this week from the panel’s first meeting in Chicago. There, he learned that the bishops will pay for a new study of the causes of sexual abuse crisis in the Catholic Church and that the review board will oversee the investigation.

                “Mr. McGarry, president of Anna Maria College since 1999, is hopeful that the board can help restore American confidence in their church. The church’s credibility suffered after the extent of the clergy sexual abuse scandal became evident in 2002.Even now, he said, regaining trust is ‘a slow process.’

                “The scandal remains the primary problem confronting the church in America, according to Mr. McGarry. It continues to be widely discussed among parishioners and will be ‘the topic of discussion for many years,’ he said…”71

                When I read this last part, it seems that McGarry is using the same technique that President Bush is doing with the terrorist treat in our country and to justify actions by the existing power and authority.  

June 24, 2005

                The Boston Globe carried “The return of ‘1984’” by H.S. Greenway. It was another picture of the atmosphere of the day.

                Greenway wrote: “If you take something to read at the beach this summer make sure it is not one of George Orwell’s books. The comparison with current events will ruin your day.

                “In what was then the futuristic, nightmare world of ‘1984,’ written in 1949, Orwell introduced the concepts of ‘newspeak,’ ‘doublethink,’ and the ‘mutability of the past,’ all concepts that seems to be alive and well in 2005, half a century after Orwell’s death. In the eve-changing rationale of why we went to war in Iraq, we can imagine ourselves working in Orwell’s ‘Ministry of Truth,’ in which ‘reality control’ issued to ensure that ‘the lie passed into history and became the truth.’ And what about the Bush administration’s insistence that all is going well in Iraq? In the Ministry of Truth, statistics are adjustable to suit politics-‘merely the substitution of one piece of nonsense for anther,’ Orwell wrote. ‘Most of the material that you were dealing with had no connection to anything in the real world, not even the kind of connection that is contained in a direct lie. Statistics were just as much a fantasy in their original version as in the rectified version.’ Welcome to the Iraq war, Mr. Orwell.

                “What of Donald Rumsfeld's newspeak, or was it doublethink, saying that ‘no detention facility in the history of warfare has been more transparent’ than Guantanamo” we have the FBI’s word for it that prisoners were chained hand and foot in a fetal position to the floor, left for 18 to 24 hours with no food and no water, left to defecate and urinate on themselves.

                “The deaths by torture in Abu Ghraib and Afghanistan sounds very much like what happens in Orwell’s fictional torture chamber: Room 101.

                “He might as well have been writing about the Bush administration’s redefinition of torture when he wrote about using ‘logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it.’

                “In Orwell’s profoundly pessimistic view: ‘Political language…is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.’

                “There is something profoundly Orwellian, too, about the administration’s attempts to impose thought control on public broadcasting. The sometimes secret machinations to place imposition on editorial freedom, the efforts to see which people interviewed by Bill Moyer’s might be considered anti-Bush or anti-Defense Department or insufficiently conservative, were just the kind of efforts to squash intellectual opposition to state power that Orwell wrote about.

                “I was amused to see even a conservative Republican senator, Church Hagel of Nebraska, was branded as ‘liberal’ because he dared criticize the Pentagon-a ‘thought criminal’ in Orwell’s parlance/

                “The drum beat by some conservatives to bring down an independent judiciary is another case in point…”72

                Another case of point here is what the Catholic Hierarchy was operating in a total isolation to preserve them at all cost. Truth became a lost factor when the bishops operated behind their “canon law” which was their concept of “absolute” authority and secrecy. 

June 25, 2005

                I went on a day trip to Ellis Island the Statue of Liberty. I really did enjoy myself. I was back in my old form of making acquaintances, talking and laughing. It was just fun. It was different form what I way traveling with in the last 10 years-“Father Peacock” style. I was able to be more of myself. Besides, it was education of visiting these two sites which were elaborating those and visit. It was a classy as the glass used in Ellis Island structures which has been opened since 1990.

                I was last at the statue of liberty in 1969 which was only the Statue of Liberty trip. Ellis Island was not open back then. The bus that I traveled on with the travel group had movies and video tapes. It was an enjoyable experience over all. It was a long day, however. The whole trip was 19 hours from departure to return. It was a great time where I called the Leominster Rec. Department and asked them to include me on upcoming trips. 

June 28, 2005

                This next story is interesting to track with the Diocese of Worcester and Anna Maria College.

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette published the story “Bish Center director named: Engdalh heads Anna Maria unit.”

                Kathleen A. Shaw reported: “Worcester-Patricia O’Leary Engdahl, who has directed the Office of Healing and Presentation of the Catholic Diocese of Worcester since its inception in 2002, is leaving that position to become director of the Molly Bish Center for the Protections of Children and Elderly at Anna Maria College.

                “Raymond L. Delisle, spokesman for the diocese, said yesterday Ms. Engdahl is leaving the job with the diocese but he had o information on who will replace her. Her appointment at Anna Maria, a Catholic college in Paxton, takes effect July 18.

                “Ms Engdahl, a lawyer and former assistant district attorney in the office of John J. Conte was hired by the diocese when the office was created in June 2002, about the time the American  bishops adopted the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People…”73

                What became interesting was that Anna Maria College was attempting to expand its Criminal Justice degree program. So they tie together with John Bish to use the name of Molly Bish in their selling of the degree program. Engdahl had to be moved for whatever reason- financial or otherwise- laterally. One possible reason was that the begging of the Diocesan PR approach of having a lay woman. Next came where the diocese was back to re-establishing the clericalism. So the diocese gets Anna Maria College to hire Engdahl. She was “administering the Worcester Diocese program in assisting to victims claiming clergy sexual abuse and in administering the program aimed at rooting out clergy, church workers and volunteers who might pose a threat to young people.” This job discretion of Engdahl was the latest version of the return of 1984 by George Orwell. It was the program- code name for the diocese of everyone we didn’t like of what ever reason- age, attitude etc. Everyone was happy. As they say in The Godfather: This is the life we have chosen.

                The word was around that the degree program at Anna Maria was not as financially successful as was projected.  

June 30, 2005

                I received my month statement form the diocese. This time, with no explanation what so ever, I noticed in that as usual they just do it, with not even a footnote or asterisk. They deducted $40 for medical. Now my living check was $990 month. My reaction was the typical knotted stomach. I recall how the other group with Bishop Reilly was getting $800 plus a month with adjustments compared to me. But, one must remember that “certain select priest” have been compensational very well. 

July 1, 2005

                I had another interesting experience with “Father Peacock.” This time we were riding to the Spencer Monastery to get some supplies and he does it: “I don’t give you Mass Stipends (money). You have to realize that. You would take the money and go out and drink.” Thank you, Father. This guy has the dominating character of the worst type being a priest-thinks he is better with a more elite nature of dominance. What he would never admit or hear is that a person as me takes the situation and makes the best of it. I actually have more than this guy would ever have-inner happiness.

                I have realized that “Father Peacock” treats me as cat: The cat is good as long as it well behaved as sitting on one lap, sleeping in its place and keeping one’s distance. If anything else, then it is problems-unpredictable.

                What this guy doesn’t realize is that I have addressed and continue to do so of my addiction. I put my alcoholism in the realm of “sin.” It is an on going issue that needs to be examined on a daily bases-evening examination of conscience.

                But, “Father Peacock” has a personality that he would not “sin” because he is above everything as such. He does portray and obsessive-compulsive nature in his domination that is explosive in many ways. He is like the stoic old priest of the 17th century nobility characterization.

                What I noticed of late in the media is I think at times: Why is there such an exclusive fiction on the Catholic Church of late-five years. What about other churches or even those unregistered camps in N.H. that the media foes near in investigating and then you hear nothing? The media I notice of late is similar to certain public relations pogroms that show people slowly moving around a stage, who keep moving and they are off the stage.

                Another observation of late is that I noticed the intensity of living in my country in a fear mode-semi-police state; as was shown in the alien invasion of The War of the Worlds movie and television programs, never mind the present movies An example is the TV program advertisement with John Walsh-on predators- saying: “We got to make sure they are lick-up.”.

                Further insight is when I am asked what I am doing: I say “Writing.” What I don’t say but am thinking: I am pretty independent, living in a daily positive process and I don’t have to be “kissy, kissy.”

                So, I have directed my self to watching C-Span on weekends with Book TV segment. This helps me to be open to intellectual challenges and enlightenment. I now try to find one theologian and another secular author and read their particular works to get new insights with my more dept.  

July 3, 2005

                I went on the Internet to read Father Greeley column. I had not been on line to visit his site and weekly column for about sex months. He writes a weekly column for the Chicago Sun Times. He is always interesting to check and see where he had written of late. This time there didn’t seem to be any really “hot button” issues with the American Catholic Hierarchy.  

July 8, 2005

                “The Word from Rome” by John L. Allen, Jr. on the Internet reported: “Some indicate that long-awaited Vatican document on the admission of homosexuals to seminarians is now in the hands of Pope Benedict XVI.  The document which has been condensed from earlier versions, reasserts the response given by the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments in 2002, in response to a dubium submitted by a bishop on whether a homosexual could be ordained. ‘A homosexual person, or one with a homosexual tendency, is not fit to receive the sacrament of Holy Order.’

                “That reply was published in the November-December 2002 issue of Notitiae, the official publication of the congregation.

                “It is up to Benedict XVI to decide whether to issue the new document as it stands, to send it back for revision, or to shelve it on the basis that for now such a document is ‘inopportune.’

                “Several American bishops were in Rome last week for the June 29 pallium ceremony, and I spoke to some of them about the document.

                “Privately, some hope Benedict will decide to put the document in a desk drawer for the time being, on the grounds that it will generate controversy and negative press without changing anything in terms of existing discipline.

                “As one bishop put it to me, the policy against ordaining homosexuals is already clear-the only interesting question is what do you mean by a ‘homosexual’? At one end of the continuum, it could refer to anyone who once had a fleeting same-sex attraction; at another, it could be restricted to someone, who is sexually active and openly part of a ‘gay pride’ movement. Most people would exclude those extremes, but where is the line drawn in between/

                “Vatican sources have made clear the document may make candidates less likely to be honest with formation directors about their psycho-sexual development, even though some degree of experimentation and ambivalence about orientation is not unusual, and bytes should not disqualify potential priests.

                “‘The risk is that we drive the conversation underground,’ he said.

                “Others, however, hold that the document is need for two reasons.

                “One, it will come with a higher level of authority than a response to a dubium published in the bulletin of a curial agency. This document will come with the clear authorization of the pope, perhaps in forma specific, meaning that it draws on his personal authority. In that sense, the bishop said, it’s like the relationship of John Paul’s 1004 document Ordinatio sacerdotalis, on women priest, to the 1976 document Insigniroes from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith on the same subject. The teaching didn’t change, but the level of authority and clarify did.

                “Two, the documents will reject a solution that some seminaries, religious communities and bishops have tended to adopt in recent years-that it doesn’t matter if a candidate is gay, as long as he’s capable of remaining celibate.

                “‘I suspect some people, in good will, have gravitated to this idea,’ one bishop said. ‘But that’s not what the church is saying and this document will make that clear.’

                “To date, there’s been no indication of what the pope intends to do.”74

                What is peculiar in that you don’t hear about having to live in a predominately “gay culture” for a heterosexual priest and minister in a daily lifestyle. I make this particular observation of the Worcester Diocese and the immediate area as such. 

July 10, 2005

                “Father Peacock” mentioned the book The Decline & Fall of the Catholic Church in America to me. I didn’t say anything that I had the book. But, he continued to tell me some of his insights and immediately saying that he did not have the book anymore. I usually always followed his comments with: Let me borrow it.

                I would cross-reference anything he told me because he had such a slanted viewpoint-most people do-that there was a distortion of the author or something taken out of context.

                He used his technique because I realized that he had the source but not want you to cross-reference his input.

                The Sunday comics printed “Classic Peanuts featuring ‘Good old’ Charlie Brown” by Schulz. This sequence had Snoopy on the cover of “World Famous Novels: Collectors Edition, Vol. I No. 2” with Snoopy on the front cover. The comic continues with Snoopy sitting on his doghouse at the typewriter. The sequence continues with him spying ‘It was,’ a number of sequences with Snoopy contemplating. Then he is back at the computer typing ‘It as a dark.’ Snoopy walks away from the typewriter and comes back ‘It was dark and stormy night with the final sequence having Snoopy thinking ‘Good Writers is hard work!’76

                There is a lot of truth in this comic strip. To write, the moons have to be lined-up and many other factors come into play to do such an undertaking. There are the good days and not the good days to write. Sometimes, I get a lot accomplished, other times not so.  

July 11, 2005

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed “Tougher laws wanted for abusive priests.”

                The article reported: “Indianapolis-The Catholic lay reform group Voice of the Faithful approved draft resolutions yesterdays calling for tougher laws against abusive priests and the bishops who have protected them.

                “In the conclusion to the grassroots movement’s first national meeting in three years, nearly 600 local organizers also approved a draft resolution that calls for greater financial transparency in the church.

                “Bishops, who hold ultimate decision-making power in their dioceses and the church, are likely to reject most of the proposals the group approved.

                “However, some of the proposals are outside their control, such as the resolution to ‘promote legislation that protects children and holds bishops accountable for their failure to protect their children.’

                “‘The message was we’ve got to be a stinger vice on the statutes of limitations,’ said Jim. Post, president of the Newton, Mass. based group.

                “Other resolutions that won approval called for the election of bishops by representatives of dioceses’ laity and clergy, greater collaboration between clergy and laity and an increased lay voice in diocesan and U.S. church decisions…”76 

July 12, 2005

                I reflected this day on my 3 mile walk the last meeting I had with Bishop Reilly. He said to me in Reilly language: “The lawyers were in your case when I go here.”

                What was he trying to do? Impress me with compassion or something else. He was a public-relations person in everything he did. Why was he giving me this where possibly he wanted me express that he had no control of my case and it was out of his hands? He was the bishop that “requested” my resignation.

                I realized the life in the priesthood in my time has guy leaving to get married, had other calling and just left, disappeared-told to get lost, stayed with “Vocation” or had taken part in the hardening of candle was-gay element.  

July 14, 2005

                I found out-by the grapevine- that “Father Peacock” was in the hospital here in Gardner.

                What I summarized that he made no contact with me for the reason that he did not want me visit him in the hospital because some cleric from the Chancery or area priest would visit and see me sitting, visiting him. I sure he would not want to try to explain to anyone where I had come from or his contact with me. It does put me in a very peculiar place because it is alright to take a ride to NH or work at his “lake house” but not here. This would not work well for him to become that “Monsignor” which is always a calculated characteristic that he bears with the bishop and Worcester Chancery.

                I sent him a “Get Well” card. I wrote in the card: “Daily prayers and thoughts to you. Sto Lat, Ted.”

                Lolita C. Balder of The Associated Press submitted “Irate Kennedy demands an apology” in this days Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Baldor wrote: “Washington-In a rare personal attack on the Senate floor yesterday, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy called Pennsylvania Republican Rich Santorum self-righteous and insensitive for his remarks linking Boston’s liberal reputation to the clergy sex abuse scandal.

                “In recent days, Santorum has refused to back down from comments he gamed in a 2002 column, in which he sad promoting alternative lifestyle spawns aberrant behavior, such as priests molesting children. He went on to say that it was to surprising that liberal Boston was at the center of the scandal.

                “‘The people of Boston are to blame for the clergy sexual abuse? That is an irresponsible, insensitive and inexcusable thing to say,’ said Kennedy, D-Mass., in a speech from the Senate chamber.

                “Kennedy called for Santorum to apologize to the people of Boston and across the nation, noting that the clergy abuse happened all across the country, in ‘red states and blue states, in the North and in the South, in big cities and small.’

                “Yesterday, Santorum spokesman Robert Traynham said the Pennsylvania conservative recognizes that the church abuse scandal was not just in Boston.

                “He said Santorum ‘was speaking to a boarder cultural argument about themed for everyone to take these issues very, very seriously.’

                “Santorum’s initial observations were in a July 2002 column for Catholic Online, and came back to public light last month and earlier this week in newspaper accounts.

                “‘Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture,’ Santorum wrote in the Catholic Online column. ‘When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for the scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm.’

                “Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, a Republican who-like Santorum-has been mentioned as a possible presidential candidate in 2008, called the remarks unfortunate, but did not ask for an apology, according to his spokesman Eric Fedrnstrom…”77 

July 15, 2005

                “Father Lewandowski retires after medical leave” appeared on the front page of the Catholic Free Press this day.

                I went to school with “Lev” in Worcester and Michigan. The story written about him here: Bishop McManus has announced the retirement of Father Ricard P. Lewandowski former pastor of St. Camillus de Lellis Parish and chaplain of the Newman Center at Fitchburg State College, effective immediately.

                “Father Lewandowski was on a medial leave of absence.

                “He was born April 16, 1948 in Worcester, the son of Chester S. and Anna V. (Kotomski) Lewandowski. He attended St. Mary High School and St. Mary College, Orchard Lake, Michigan.

                “He studied for the priesthood at SS. Cyril and Methodius Seminary in Orchard Lake and was ordained a priest on May 25, 1974 by Bishop Flanagan at Our Lady of Czestochowa Church, Worcester, where he had also served his deacon internship.

                “In addition to a master of divinity degree from SS. Cyril Methodius Seminary, Father Lewandowski also hold a master’ degree in religious studies and social ethics form the University of Detroit, and master’s degree in counseling and psychology from Assumption College…Father Lewandowski is the author of several children’s books, including ‘The First Easter Bunny,’ ‘Babci’s Angel,’ ‘Shooting Star dust’ and ‘It’s Christmas Again,’ co authored with Michael P. Riccards, former president of Fitchburg State College.”78

                It was not a long article where it only listed his assignments. What always is interesting in reading such “retirements” in the Catholic Free Press is that in what is not mentioned gets to be more interesting than what is printed. What is here: What is the real story?

                The same issue of the Catholic Free Press had another story on the front page “Patricia Engdahl keeping children safe in new setting.”

                Tanya Connor from the Free Press wrote: “The woman who directed the diocese’s response to the clergy sexual abuse crisis has changed hob-nut not her ministry. And it is a ministry in which she wants to continue offering healing prayer.

                “Patricia O’Leary Engdahl finished her job as director of the diocesan Office for Healing and Prevention July 1. Monday she is to begin work as director of Anna Maria College’s Molly Bish Center for the Protection of Children and the Elderly. The diocese has not announced a successor for her position.

                “I guess I see this as a natural progression of what I was doing,’ Mrs. Engdahl said. Working for the diocese in dealing with child abuse, she saw a tremendous need for education and advocacy measures to protect children concretely, she said.

                “‘I think the center will help me focus on the mission to keep children safe,’ she said. ‘The only way to keep children safe is through education, not just of their parents, but of other caregivers, educators and law enforcement.’ She said she thinks she is also being called to protect elders, who are often alone and trusting and therefore vulnerable to those seeking to take advantage of them.

                “The Molly Bish Center’s primary thrust is education and training to protect children and elders, sad William D. McGarry, president of Anna Maria College, who established the center about who established the center about a year ago.

                “‘Regrettably the agenda is limitless,’ he said. ‘It’s horrible that there’s so much out there’ requiring such education and training

                “President McGarry said he brought the idea for the center to John Bish Sr. and Magdalene Bish about a year and a half ago, and they helped start and continue it. It is named for their daughter Molly, who disappeared in Warren in 2000 and whose remain were found in 2003. The couple has been working to protect other children and support the families of missing children through the Molly Bish Foundation they stated.

                “Mr. Bish said they realized they needed to involve an institute of higher learning to offer seminars he and his wife were not equipped to offer through the foundation.

                “‘We were interested in a Catholic college,’ he said adding that they are especially happy to connect with a local one. ‘Our faith has been central to our survival.

                “He said he wanted to see about offering programs through the Mortell Institute at Anna Maria that does public safety training but President McGarry suggested establishing a separate center and naming it after Molly. The foundation’s programs about protecting the elderly will now be merged into the center, which will bring them to ‘a grander scale,’ Mr. Bish said.

                “The center, which is separate from the foundation, is part of the college and is closely tied to its mission, President McGarry said. He said two of the college’s mayor thrust are public safety and helping professions, given its poor grams in criminal justice, fire science, occupational health and safety, and emergency planning and response as well as social work, counseling psychology, nursing and art and music therapy…”79 

July 18, 2005

                The priest talk was that the Worcester Diocese supposedly told some priest to break-up their “relationships.” Again, this I call “street talk” but hearing this as such had it that something was being talked about.  

July 21, 2005

                When I was working at my desk, it suddenly came to mind that I was not one of them, in that I was not gay. It was a strange sensation going through me. Whenever I had to attend a clergy meeting or other meetings in the diocese I was uncomfortable for activity to be over with. It was a gut feeling that I always had in me that there was something that made me uncomfortable. I realized that it was not a homophobia. But, it did make me uncomfortable in that I knew I was not gay in a gay priesthood. . My eyes opened-up with such a realization that it was something that finally, after all these years made sense with my personhood. 

July 22, 2005

                The Catholic News Service has a short article in the Catholic Free Press: “Irish archbishop says to have mature faith, change structures.”

                It reports: “Dublin, Ireland (CNS)—Ireland will still be a Christian society in 25 years, but Dublin Archbishop Diarmuid Martin said the church must change its pastoral structures if there is to be a mature Christian faith. ‘The pastoral structures of the church must be structured in such a way that the believer, young and old, knows that he or she belongs to a community which desires that they be free, responsible and fully human,’ Archbishop Martin told an audience at the MacGill Summer School in Glenties, Ireland, July 18. The archbishop spoke on the subject, ‘Will Ireland Be Christian in 2030?’ While Ireland has one of the highest levels of religious practice in Europe, surveys snow that Sunday Mass attendance and religious vocations have been declining since the 1960s. Archbishop Martin acknowledged that Ireland was becoming more secular, but he said the medial often put a spin on the results of surveys about religious practice. The archbishop said that to achieve a greater level of ‘mature Christian faith in today’s world, we have to revolutionize our structures of faith formation as a lifelong task.’ “80

                This is already in place with the R.C.I.A. ritual and process that the Church has in place since 1987. 

July 23, 2005

                The People’s Forum of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed the letter of Charles A. Abdella Jr. of Boylston entitled “Parish knows priest is not a danger.”

                The letter stated: “This is in response to a July 9, letter regarding the possibility f reinstating Rev. Joseph Coonan to St. John’s Church in Worcester.

                “While the letter writer comforts herself that she alone s the bulwark against alleged depravity, she ride roughshod over the U.S. Constitution and centuries of Western jurisprudence in her attempt to ‘protect the good people of St. John’s Parish. In the United States, Rev. Coonan and all citizens are presumed innocent until proved guilty.

                “Those who are convicted of wrong-doing must be punished-that is justice. But to deny a man due process is a perversion of all those principles we believe are embodied in our national heritage.

                “The writer may have already made up her mind about Rev. Coonan. However, I have heard countless people speak passionately about how they had given up on God until they encountered the special ministry of Rev. Coonan.

                “Perhaps if the writer had this opportunity, she would begin to understand why St. John’s Parish has continued to petition the bishop for Rev. Coonan’ return. If he were a danger, then why would his parish, the very people who would be in close contact with him, fight so fervently for his return?

                “Perhaps it is that we understand who Joe Coonan is better than those who are so quick to condemn him. And perhaps their attempts at protecting us from our own pastor are at best misguided and at worst patently absurd.”81 

July 29, 2005

                I was writing my text form my daily journal the last few days. I was getting moody and angry a number of times with certain re-readings of my journal. I had written how Deacon Cashes in St. Edward’s, Westminster was sending certain parishioners e-mails of articles on pedophile. I was also thing how Fr. Picclomini calling me so time aback and telling that my name was being sent to the DA. He continued to say the hurt being felt by all because we are a family. It was pushing certain buttons in me even though the Deacon could do whatever he wanted to do and Picclomini using words as “family” and others to be what the situation was with certain people.

                I notice that the latest booklet of diocesan listing of clergy did not have me listed. It was not to be found in any cross-reference or anything as such. The latest booklet had Father Bagley as “retired” category.

                I reacted with a feeling of despair because of the “money” situation and the way that I have had to live. It just hurts my personhood of being violated. I was eliminated. I felt this more than the diocesan listing but no contact or communication whatsoever.  

July 29, 2005

                The front page of the Catholic Free Press reported “Sister Kelleher named to Healing Office” with her photo.

                The article reports: “Bishop McManus has announced that Sister Paula Kelleher, SSJ, will join the diocesan Office of Healing and Prevention.

                “She will assume the responsibly for training and educating involving safe environments and other topics for employees and volunteers who act as mandated reporters in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She will join Frances Nugent, victim’s services coordinator, as co-director of the office.

                “She fills a vacancy left when former director Patricia O’Leary Engdahl resigned July 1 to become director of the Molly Bish Center for the Protection of Children and the Elderly at Anna Maria College in Paxton.

                Sister Paula is a Sister of St. Joseph of Springfield. She has been the Vicars for Religious in the Diocese of Worcester for more than a decade. She has extensive experience in education administration within parochial schools as well as experience in pastoral ministry in parishes. She is also a spiritual director. She will continue to serve as Vicar for Religious including oversight of the Annual Retirement Fund for Religious.

                “Bishop Robert McManus said ‘I am grateful to Sister Paula for accepting this important responsibility for our diocese and thereby assisting in the healing ministry we offer through this office. I am confident that her experience will give us the necessary direction to continue to expand our already extensive education efforts as we week to protect all children and youth in our programs, our schools and in our parishes…’ “82

                This Sister Keller was involved in my case in 1993 with her name on one of the documents with her written note.

                The National Catholic Reporter “Editorials-Santorum preposterous and wrong” states: Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, the third-ranking Republican in that august body, has made some preposterous pronouncements during his political career. That’s OK, we have wonderful laws protecting speech, even preposterous speech, even when it comes form a senator.

                “The regret we have is that he often makes much of his Catholicism, is as often touted in some Catholic circles as a model legislator and understandably, he are repeatedly identified in news stories as Catholic. All of that gives the impression, at times, that his words are weighted with some sort of official Catholic authority.

                “They aren’t.

                In fact, most of his more controversial thundering form on high about moral matters has nothing to do with Catholicism, or any expression of Christianity, for that matter.

                “In the past he’s equated homosexuality with sex abuse of children and ‘man on dog’ sex. And earlier this year he compared Democrats opposing Bush judicial nominees to Adolph Hitler. He eventually apologized for that one.

                More recently, Santorum found himself on the hot sea for comments written in a 2002 column for a conservative Web site, Catholics Online, which surfaced in a Boston Globe column July 11.

                “In the original column, Santorum wrote, ‘Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seats of academic, political and cultural liberalism in American, lies at the center of the storm.’

                “He was partly correct. There was a cultural influence at work in the sex aubse crisis-still is-but it had little to do with Massachusetts liberalism.

                “What’s wrong with his analysis is a apparent ignorance of the fact that the sex abuse crisis was going on for 18 years-and was being reported on throughout the country-before it exploded anew in Boston…”83 

July 30, 2005

                I notice of late that my concentration was on getting my next mail during this past week. What I noticed was that I was thinking of how, where and what to do next to have a meal. It was in a survival model that I haven’t realized that I was to making life an enjoyable factor.

                I even experienced a friend who said to me after going out for breakfast: I can’t afford you. This person I wondered about in that as long as information was being related of my circumstances, besides experiencing back pay on their part, and not getting the stage at the parish in running certain events that this person would only do in a “Lone Ranger” fashion.

                But, it had me worrying of where my next meal issue had me wake-up and realizes that I had to take more direction in my life. What was also peculiar was that I have a relative who is a bachelor and he is constantly plotting to do anything with having a meal in his activity. I used to cringe watching him operate. I wondered how much was I doing of that now with my circumstances.  

August 1, 2005

                “Father Peacock” visited my new place which I call: The Crows Nest. When I was on the first floor, I called my place: The Cave. Well, he sat down in my lazy-boy chair and saw the Scriptures (Bible) with its stand on my table. He commented: Is that the Qumran? He always has to have that attitude of sarcasm. He then looks up on the wall shelf where I had my Titanic model which he always wanted. He didn’t say anything but did stare at it.  

August 3, 2005

                I was thinking how Bishop Rueger had the Vatican clear him of everything in that Rome proclaimed him “immaculate” and now it is “holy, holy, holy” picture to the people of the diocese. Some people told me that he would have had to clear-out his desk in the Worcester Chancery Building. His office should have been in the storage building of this building. I recall how, according to Attorney Dan Shea, the Mass. State Police in Auburn even visited his client-Brio- to question him about allegations against Rueger. Shea said that they did this without having him present. Here come more questions and most important: Was this on Rueger’s behalf? Shea even questioned the collaboration of DA Conte and the Diocese of Worcester. The answer to the riddles of the Worcester Diocese is possibly found in Canada.

                I was reflecting on a timeline of my situation with the diocese of the last 5 years: Nothing happened in that I have not heard from anyone officially on my situation. I always knew that the Church-dioceses-had something going on. It operated in a different time frame then anything else one knows in society. So, the issue is: How do you know something was to going on because something was going on. Don’t forget, we are living in a “ying and yang” of the Bush Administration in Washington at this time.  

August 9, 2005

                The overall atmosphere of the day with me at times is that I am walking through collateral damage, isolated, silence prevailing in an identity of no-name approach. Yet, business as usual was being conducted and nothing else. I have notice in this how judgmental and serious people are. Society is more violent in the local inhabitants of late.     

August 11, 2005

                I was sent by relatives of mine in New York City (Maspet) this days issue of the New York Post that had the frond page with “St. Pat’s Scandal: Rector’s Love Nest.” It had the story: Lovely Laura DeFlippo kept her stay in  a Long Island shack with St. Patrick’s Cathedral rector Eugene Clark so hush-hush that the didn’t use their real names in the Hamptons hotel guest registry, sources told The Post-and DeFlippo’s hubby claims the tryst was yet another example of adultery by his wife and the priest, who is her boss…St. Patrick’s Cathedral’s top priest and his longtime leggy assistant turned a quaint Hampton hideaway hotel into their personal love nest-keeping their tryst so hush-hush, they didn’t even use their own names in the registry, sources told The Post yesterday.

                “An employee of the White Sand Resort Hotel, a secluded oceanfront stay nestled in the dunes, said neither Monsignor Eugene Clark, 79, nor his married gal pal Laura DeFlippo was listed as a guest on July 21.

                “That’s when the two were secretly videotaped entering the hotel to rent a room in the early afternoon.

                “They left about 5 ½ hours later with their heads bowed, wearing different clothes-she in sexy shorts-shorts.

                “The videotape was shot on the behest of her private-eye husband  Philip, who was collecting evidence for a bitter divorce battle hat charges his wife had a long-term affair what the respected monsignor.

                “A clerk at the upscale, 20-room hotel said it’s no wonder a couple would choose to canoodle there. Its seclusion and don’t see-and-tell policy make it very popular with celebrities.

                “The hotel is situated on Shore Road in Napeague, the narrow and relatively unpopulated stretch of land between the Atlantic Ocean and Napeague Harbor.

                “The hotel also happens to be just a 10-minute drive from the crowded Amagansett neighborhood where Claris has maintained a house for 46 years.

                “The motel’s rooms-set between the ocean and beautifully landscaped gardens-are rented by the day or the week, with daily rates ranging from $150 for a bedroom to $300 for a deluxe efficiency…”84

                I figured that we will see more of this in the media about the good monsignor. 

August 12, 2005

                I noticed even my personal development that I have been using more tact. I reserve my words to be more knowledgeable of what I am talking about. I am taking more time to reflect before stating a response. I know that I don’t have to be right. But with a vision for myself, I have been given courage and had to redefine “success.”

                I turned the computer on and went to the Internet to check the news and bang- “He’s (Monsignor Clark) gone, sex debate lingers” in the New York Daily News.

                The story relates: “As news of a scandalous resignation circulated about St. Patrick’s’ Cathedral yesterday, Msgr. Eugene Clark’s presence still loomed large.

                “Visitors entering the famed cathedral saw that Clark’s name still grace the welcome boards in the foyer-a visceral reminded of the latest scandal to roil the Catholic Church.

                “” ‘Before you cast stones you better be dam sure you’re doing the right thing,’ parishioner Dorothy Clune, 50, of the Bronx, said of the silver-haired Clark who has railed against the immorality of ‘liberal American.’

                “But visitors to the landmark church suggested the litany of libido-driven scandals to the Catholic Church would end if priests were given the green light to have sex and marry.

                “ ‘I think something’s going to change and until that time I think this nonsense is going to keep happening,’ said Clune.

                “Investment banker Dominique Bodevin, 65, of Manhattan, stopped by St. Pat’s to pray and contemplated the wisdom of priestly celibacy.

                “ ‘They’re human beings. They have needs like everybody else,’ Bodevin sasidn. ‘I don’t agree with what he (Clark) did, if he did it, but in my mind they should change all of those policies involving priests.’

                What most members of St. Patrick’s flock believed Clark, 79, did the honorable thing by stepping down, others were stunned and saddened…Sorting it all out: The Archdiocese of New Your accepted Msgr. Eugene Clark’s resignation yesterday. But there are still questions left unanswered for both sides. Here are a dozen: Six questions for Msgr. Clark- You’ve stripped of your priestly duties and have been suspended form the Eternal Word Television Network now? Why would you stay at an Amagansett motel when you have a $2 million house nearby? Wee there any other women who have helped you with your ‘paperwork?’ You’ve railed against homosexuality in sermons. Where do you rank infidelity among sins? How can a priest afford a pad in the Hamptons and trip to St Bart’s? What would you say to Philip DeFilippo and his children? Six questions for the Archdiocese of New York: Who from the archdiocese interviewed Msgr. Clark? Was the monsignor evasive or forthcoming? How will the investigation proceed now? In quickly accepting Clark resignation, isn’t the church signaling its dissatisfaction with him? Did the archdiocese ask for his resignation? What is the church policy on cleric spending time alone with women?”85

                There are more questions that needed to be asked of the system itself- religion and media.  

August 14, 2005

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed in their Focus section as a whole page with picture of Francis McGillicuddy who left the priesthood in 1972 entitled “Former priest breaks code of silence: Ordained after graduating from Holy Cross, McGillicuddy reveals experiences of the past.”

                Gregory D. Kesich of The Associated Press wrote: “Portland, Maine-In the summer of 1963, Francis McGillicuddy, a young priest and director of a church run girls camp on Poland’s Worthley Pond, notice something odd about one of the camp’s guest, the Monsignor Henry Boltz.

                “Boltz, a leading figure in Maine’s Roman Catholic Church, had befriended a teenage boy, McGillicuddy observed, accompanied the elderly prelate on shopping trips and to the movies and made long visits inside Boltz’s private cabin on the grounds of Camp Pesquasawasis.

                “McGillicuddy felt something was wrong. He couldn’t say what it was, but he wanted to stop it.

                “‘I called the staff together and said the monsignor’s cabin was out of bounds,’ he recalls. ‘No one was to go down there for any reason.’

                “Within day, Boltz left. For years McGillicuddy never really knew why.

                “‘You would never even breathe that a priest would commit sexual abuse,’ he said. ‘It would never be verbalized. It was unthinkable.’

                “Last month, the church said what McGillicuddy could not.

                “A court-ordered release of the name of 23 deceased priests, one monk and a nun accused of sexual abuse of children included the name of Henry Boltz, who died in 1970. Later, in letters distributed inside church leaflets, the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland announced that the charges against Boltz were credible.

                “If Boltz were alive today, he likely would be removed form active ministry and investigated. His case could have been referred to the Vatican for trail.

                “McGillicuddy, who was ordained after graduating from the College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, left the priesthood in 1972 to marry. He is one of the few clergy members from that period willing to talk about his experience in the priesthood. He describes a closed culture in which the priests were kept apart from the people they served and the authority of church leaders was unquestioned.

                “Sex was almost never discussed, he said, but he realizes now that it was part of life for many of ibis colleagues. A priest’s loyalty to his brothers was expected, and it was something enforced by church hierarchy. Secrets were kept. Sometimes people even kept secrets from themselves…

“McGillicuddy reported his experience to church authorities and now receives counseling paid for by the diocese.

                “Priests, even former priests, are rarely willing to talk about their experiences, said David Clohessy, national director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests. Their vows of loyalty to their bishop and the bond they share with their colleagues create pressure to protect wrongdoers. (What if you didn’t care for the authority-power structure since ordination?)

                “‘It’s not unusual to hear these stories, but it is unusual for them to be told publicly,’ Clohessy said. ‘The priesthood is a small, shrinking, closely knit band of lonely men who depend on each other for support. The temperature to be quiet must be very great.’…

                “Today, McGillicuddy is a retired social worker, living with his wife, Elaine, a former nun. They have been active members of Pax Christi, the Roman Catholic peace group, and Corpus, a church reform organization that favors allowing priests to marry and the ordination of women.

“In 1958 McGillicuddy was ordained and assigned to a Portland parish. He was one of three assistant pastors who lived in the rectory with the pastor.

                “It was not an exalted position.

                “In the pecking order in the rectories, there was the pastor, the housekeeper, the cat and the associate pastor,’ he said. ‘You had no sense of ownership I the parish. You were there for a time and then you moved on to somewhere else.’

                “The young priests were taught to keep their friendships with the clergy, and all his friends were priests. This created a ‘great gulf’ between the priests and the people in their parishes, McGillicuddy said...

                “After McGillicuddy’s ordination to the priesthood, the two men (former parish priest and were staying at a Boston hotel and drinking. The older man made a sexual advance. McGillicuddy refused.

                “‘The next day, he told me he was just testing me to see if I was gay.’ McGillicuddy said.

                “McGillicuddy said he tried to bury the incident. While he never completely repressed the memory, he succeeded in not thinking about it. He never told anyone, not even his wife.

                “Remarkably, he didn’t even think about it when he saw Boltz, another older priest; take advantage of another vulnerable young man. He never reported either incident and was sure that no one would have wanted him to.

                “It was a culture that encouraged secrets, he said.

                “‘There was loyalty (his words) to the church, a kind of primary responsibility to protect the church and the reputation of the church,’ he (McGillicuddy) said. ‘A priest being the front-line person, they would have the responsibility to do that, to close ranks, not rock the boat.’…

                “‘It is not unusual to hear these stories, but it is unusual for them to be told publicly. The priesthood is a small, shrinking. Closely knit band of lonely men who depend on each other for support. The temptation to be quiet must be very great.’ (David Clohessy: National Director of the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests) 86

                It is very peculiar that more is not being written about priest by men that have left the active ministry. One observation I have not herd of late is that this issue of “silence” is also part of many family situations. In this day and age, everything is put on the table for evaluation and other aspects as we have been seeing through the different sciences.  

August 17, 2005

                I noticed in writing my journal and doing research that I recall reading: “Writing about one moment in history, I seem to have stumbled into another.” (Julie O. Ksuka) Oh! How true. One area of discovery in being a priest is that the Church wants one to follow policies which the Worcester Chancery does not follow. I’m sure that is not such a great new “moment in history” because the history of the Diocese of Worcester is so extensive and eye-opening even if it is only 50 plus years old.  

August 19, 2005

                I noticed in my writing of the text-format of my journal  that in 2002 journaling and article file that I had enough to write half a book in that one year. 

August 22, 2005

                Lazarus has risen. “Father Peacock” called me form the Broadway Rest Home in Winchendon and said that I was allowed a visit. I didn’t know where he was of being at his rectory or his “lake house.” Obviously he needed something where I had the danger sign in front of me saying” Be Aware. He was going to allowed me an audience. There had to be a reason because I was the “prodigal son” with my fellow brother priest. He never called while he was in Gardner Hospital recuperating. This hospital was walking distance for me from my place. I am sure that I “radioactive” for his overall image at that time. 

August 24, 2005

                I have notice in my writing the issue of depression. It was colored by irritation, frustration, jealousy, anger, pettiness, bitterness and a sense that it was to fair what was done with me. I knew that depression was the disease of the mind that was an open, chronic joylessness with toll little delight in one’s life.

                I realized this and made sure to redirect this at different times in my personhood. 

August 25, 2005

                I was reflecting on how I was looking forward to watch that program “Monk” which was on cable-USA network. It was the programs third season. Monks manner of investigation and analysis  had me watch with envy in that I wish I had that talent dealing with Bishop Harrington and Chancery Kabala in 1993 and thereafter. I learned in watching this TV program and in Monk’s style. One example he used to explain a case was when he was on a threshold event in his first step that he explained by using his fingers in a V-shape manner saying” The answer is somewhere in between those fingers. Just thinking, how appropriate dealing with the people in Worcester that I had in my situation.

August 26, 2005

                I’ve been waiting for this story to come from the National Catholic Reporter printing the story of Msgr. Clark. But this is reported “By News Wires.” I haven’t seen this type of source in my research.

                The printed story is entitled “Cathedral rector resigns, denying allegation affair.” It reads” “Msgr. Eugene V. Clark has resigned as rector of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York while denying allegations that he had a long-term sexual relationship with his secretary, a married woman.

                “In a brief statement Aug. 11, New York archdiocesan spokesman Joseph Zwilling said New York Cardinal Edward M. Egan had accepted the resignation and is investigating the allegations.

                “Clark ‘will not be celebrating Mass or the sacraments publicly until this matter has been resolved,’ Zwilling added. ‘Although Msgr.  Clark continues to deny the allegations against him, he offered his resignation for the good of St. Patrick’s and the archdiocese,’ he said.

                “A series of television programs tilted ‘Relationships’ that Clark had hosted since 1999 for the Eternal Word Television Network, an Alabama-based inter-national Catholic cable channel, has been put on hold, the cable network announced Aug. 11.

                “Clark, long a prominent priest in the New York archdiocese, has been rector of the cathedral since 2001. He was private secretary to Cardinal Francis Spellman in the 1960s and served as an official spokesman for his successor, Cardinal Terence Cooke. He is also well-known as a fund raise for Catholic causes and a strong proponent of traditional morality.

                “A story about the affairs in The New York Times said, ‘In the pulpit, Monsignor Clark has sometimes been outspoken.’ In a homily at the cathedral in 2002, he blamed the church’s sex-abuse scandal on ‘the campaign of liberal America against celibacy’ and to the willingness of seminaries to admit homosexuals into the ministry.

                “He offended gay groups by condemning gay relationships as ‘truly sinful’ and often preached against a ‘sex-saturated culture.’

                “Accusations that the priest was having an affair with his 46-year-old secretary, Laura DeFilippo, were brought to the media Aug. 8 by her husband, Philip DeFilippo, who is seeking a divorce…

                “Clark, in a statement released through his lawyer, Laura Brevetti said that ‘events and circumstances have been portrayed in such a false and sensational manner that I will no longer be able to effectively serve the archdiocese.’ Brevetti said that ‘innocent events have been distorted and sensationalized.’ “87 

August 28, 2005

                “Vatican papers spark debate: Clergy aubse protocol noted” by Kathleen A. Shaw had front page coverage.

                The story reads “Worcester-The 1962 Vatican document called crime Solicitations that first surfaced in Worcester two years ago has made its way around thaw world causing controversy and sparking debate on whether the Romans Catholic hierarchy intended this document as a plant to hush up sexual abuse of children.

                “The name is taken from the first words of the original Latin version, which mean ‘crime of solicitation.’ It outlines procedures to be followed when a priest is accused of sexual abuse. Houston lawyer Daniel J. Shea said the document is relevant because it shows that the church hierarchy has conspired to keep quiet child abuse.

                “Reading through the Crimen protocol for handling abuse cases, Mr. Shea said, it is evident that the intent is to absolve the offending priest and send him on what the document calls a ‘pious pilgrimage’ but what he called a ‘vacation,’ and to shut up the complaint.

                “He and other civil lawyers in this country are also introducing the document into lawsuits in an attempt to show that an international conspiracy is involved in covering up abuse by priests.

                “He went to the gates of the Vatican two weeks ago to press his argument that Pope Benedict XVI has actively conspired to keep cases of clergy sexual abuse under wraps. He bases his claim on the Crimen document and a letter that the pope wrote in 2001, when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, instructing church officials on how to handle these cases. Crimen was footnoted in the 2001 document.

                “Crime Solicitations has also up in Louisville, Ky., when the Vatican has been named in a lawsuit filed by men alleging clergy sexual abuse.

                “Mr. Shea, who also practices in Massachusetts, settled several sexual abuse cases in Worcester Superior Court but has named the pope in a lawsuit he is handling for three men in the Houston area who said they were sexually abused by a priest there who later fled back to his native Latin America.

                “Crimen was introduced into a court suit in Springfield brought by Jane Martin, who said she was sexually abused as a child by the Rev. Robert E. Kelley, a priest of the Worcester Diocese. The judge did not allow introduction of the document because it had not been authenticated and was not seen as being relevant.

                “Mr. Shea’s campaign has attracted public notice. Article about his quest has appeared in newspapers in Britain, Ireland, Italy and the United States…”88 

August 30, 2005

                I was in the bookstore and I had a gift certificate to purchases Faith That Dares to Speak by Father Donald Cozzens (2004). Couple of sections I read at this time: “The Church as an unequal society/ Remnants of a Feudal Past.” A number of statements by Cozzen had me reflecting of what I was sensing for some many years and even projecting of future events. Such as: “And the church itself, even after promising transparency and accountability as the American bishops did in the wake of the clergy sexual abuse scandal, will continue to practice denial, dissimulation, and deception. These characteristics simply flow, quite naturally, from an understanding of the church as a society make up of unequal. ..Feudal systems, historians point out, work when the economy is bases on land and the lower class, the serfs, remain uneducated and dependent on the protection their vassal. Feudal systems began to break down with the growth of towns, which allowed numerous serfs, often with considerable difficulty, to flee to the towns anew become merchants or skilled in the craft. With the move from a landed economy to a monies economy, medieval feudalism was zoomed. Its link, however, with current church structures is obvious. The pope-the sovereign or king in our parallel structure-grants benefits (i.e., dioceses) to his bishops. The bishops in turn promise obedience, homage, and loyalty to their sovereign, the bishop of Rome. While the church’s theology now understands the world’s bishops as members of a college of bishops in communion with each other and with the bishop of Rome, the full implications of the collegial nature of the episcopacy remains to be developed. The bishops, in turn, grant benefices (i.e., parishes) to their priests, who promise obedience, homage, and loyalty to the chief shepherd of their diocese. At least from the middle of the nineteenth century I the U.S., parishes were run life fiefdoms. And it is not unusual, even in our post-Vatican church, to find pastors who still perceived their parish as a benefice or fiefdoms. Even more sobering, some pastors continue to look upon parishioners as more or less uneducated sheep. (I know a number of such pastors.)” 89

                This work by Father Cozzens should be studied by people hoping to grown in a mature faith. This work actually shows the “Super Shell Gas Station Model” which I used in my pastorship meaning: The Church is not a gas station but a faith community. We have presently in the Worcester Diocese area a “hardening of the wax” with the clerical element and parishioners using the “Super Shell Gas Station” model.  

September 3, 2005

                I was going through the thought process of not having any advocacy and second guessing what may be doing concerning my situation. The first thought is they are doing nothing. Another was the issue of not having due process. I recall the other day watching a TV where a permanent Deacon spoke that he had worked in prisons for his carrier and observed the prisoners that he had worked with had more due process that priest have in their allegation crisis. My immediate reaction was “No kidding.”

                I was having coffee with some friends where I mentioned somehow that I had a list f items that were stolen from place in 1993 in the rectory and Bishop Reilly actually “buried” the list after I handed it to him. This particular confederation had one of the parties say: Drop it, Ted. I was that move-on syndrome with life. It was another lesson to learn: Don’t bring up anything with people of my situation. If they ask particular questions: It’s all in my book.  

September 4, 2005

                When I returned to my room, I automatically look at my answering machine to see if the message light was blinking. I have had this reaction at times wheel I was hoping I had a call to go for a pizza or coffee. It was that “nothingness” feeling. This is was something that I found troubling. But, the experience was somewhat less in that I found of late that I was enjoying my time alone. 

September 5, 2005

                 I read one of Bishop Thomas Gumbalton speeches where he said the crisis on priest was that the guys wee “underdeveloped.” This is another word for “immature.” What I have experienced is that I immediately think in the direction that we have another perspective to deal with. But, what becomes interesting is that certain people do not want to hear anything as such. Possibly there are other issues that need to be addressed or questioned in the system of life because of actions or comments of individuals?

                This is where I noticed of late that the media of Church and media are going at the issue of homosexuality and celibacy. I immediately come back to the issue is the system with power and authority. In the church with the priesthood is the classic authoritative personality. 

September 8, 2005

                I have noticed that with the devastating of the hurricane Katrina this September does show us as a country are separated by zip codes (mail). There is the class of the rich and poor.  

September 9, 2005

                The section of “Editorials” had “Bankruptcy: the gamble that backfired” was in this weeks National Catholic Reporter.

                It read: “Words matter. More for a church than for other institutions because religion purports to be about truth. These truths, especially in the Catholic Church, are largely conveyed through words-scripture, pastoral letters, encyclicals, books, homilies, even newspapers.

                “And, of late in court documents.

                “In the two-plus decades we have reported and commented on the clergy sex abuse scandal, we have witnessed church leaders torture the language to avoid accountability.

                “‘Mistakes were made,’ say some bishops, wary of attaching a personal pronoun to the criminal behavior of church officials who transferred child molesters from on e kid-rich environment to another.

                “‘We treated the problem as a sin, not a crime,’ say other church leaders, as if the two are mutually exclusive.

                “‘We relied too heavily on the therapeutic community,’ say some bishops, which may be true but is hardly exculpatory.

                “Most famously, perhaps, was then-Bridgeport, Conn., Archbishop Edward Egan’s 1997 testimony that the priests of the diocese were not employed by the church, and therefore answered to him, but were instead ‘independent contractors.’ Egan subsequently became the cardinal archbishop of New York.

                “On the other side of the country, the language is as tortured in the bankruptcy proceedings of the dioceses of Spokane, Wash., and Portland, Ore. There, the church’s high-priced legal teams designed a too-cleaver-by half, two-pronged strategy: First, forestall civil litigation against the church 9and define its parameters) by voluntarily seeking the protection of federal bankruptcy courts and the next, limit potential payments to creditors by shrinking the size of the pot established to pay claimants.

                “The first aspect of the plan worked. Those who had a potential claim on diocesan funds stepped forward and been counter…”90 

September 10, 2005

                I was speaking  over a cup of coffee with “Father Peacock” this day and he made a number of statement that I was able to see is “absolute authority “streak showing on his part: He tells me that 20 guys (priest) in diocese on administrative leave and each is on a different pay scale. He mentions what happened to the Gospel of Mt. 25 for care of the priest. Then he said that the Clergy Benefit of the Diocese of Worcester is costing $7,000 per priest. He wanted to know by his question-Where to get the money by the diocese? (Priest on Administrative Leave is not in the Clergy Benefit program.) He tells me that the Vatican Ambassador in the United States was saying: No gays in the priesthood. So, “Father Peacock” says therefore then there is no priest.  He continued to tell met that there will be only blue eyed bonds (Nazi Germany style). He then how his co-chancellor in the Deanery X priest, Father Giennette “froze” a meeting but got his way  and wondered what “pension” he was getting. Watching these two priests operate at meetings was a classic act of sibling rivalry (Jealousy personified).

                Then” Father Peacock” switches gears today the FEMA was all too big of a problem to ever try to resolve the New Orleans tragedy with hurricane Katrina.

                Then I had to hear that the pastor in Southbridge (no name) was disgusted with Bishop McManus handling the priest on Administrative Leave. This priest was a social worker with the Assumptions religious order. He had been incarnated in Worcester and had known the real street world.

                Then “Father Peacock” was in his ego trip which he does at times by saying the he studied in Europe vs. those of us who studied in the seminary in the States. Then he rolled with that he will have an $11,000 priest mahogany casket in comparison to “your $7,000 (actually $6,000) casket. Who cares? Who has the best casket?

                All of this coffee discussion was “Father Peacock” blowing smoke. But, his last bit of information was that he was taking his parishioner who was a deacon candidate for a retreat to Canada in October at a location near his old retreat center which is now closed. Oh? 

September 11, 2005

                It has been four years since the World Trade Towers and other planes was hijacked and crashed. These people were remembering in my Mass. I also prayed for peace in the world because the atmosphere has exploded to be near a police state in this country. If anything fear was the prevailing atmosphere by our government and society in general.  

September 15, 2005

                I went on the Internet to the Worcester Voice web page. It seemed that Mrs. Jean was writing and complaining that the bishop has not met with her group and answered her questions. Also, she was writing that the House of Affirmation directed by Father Kane (Director) was responsible for the abuse situation in area. This was what I summarized with her comments on her web page of late. It is interesting reading of her web page. I wonder who is giving her information of the clerical world-little tidbits-in Worcester. This is not coming out of Leominster which is where she resides. The Worcester Telegram is one of her key sources for her writing but there is another “worm” contributing information for her keyboard. 

September 16, 2005

                I noticed that I had been writing for the past two months and that I was gain weight. I was snacking and actually eating larger portions that I should have been. I gained about 10 pounds. This text writing was not easy in that I had to re-visit the experiences which at times was nerve raking in taking the story over against and pit it into details. Jack Keena-plant manager again said to me: “What taking you so long? He, previously, made this comment a number of times. He had no idea what this experience was like, I had my good time in wiring and other times I was not able to sit this material.

                The Catholic Free Press printed in their “Letters to the Editor” section as letter from Most Rev. George E. Rueger-Auxiliary Bishop of Worcester (Retired)

                It stated: To the Editor: Allow me to express my healthful thanks for the supplement The Catholic Free Press produced and distributed upon my retirement as Auxiliary Bishop and Moderator of the Curia for the Diocese of Worcester.

                “First and foremost I express my appreciation to all who contributed to its production, including writers, photographers, story contributors, artist and editors. I am truly humbled by the great effort you all gave to its successful completion.

                Secondly, my thanks and prayers go out to all who supported the supplement’s production through advertising. Knowing that you are always backing the good work of the Church through your financial support, I am grateful for your goodness.

                “Finally, I extend my prayers and best wishes to all the readers and subscribers of The Catholic Free Press who received this supplement. Your interest in supporting Catholic media is important to us as a community of faith. As a bishop I am grateful as well as humbled by the hunger to learn more about how we respond to each other’s needs as members of the body of Christ.

                I will continue to offer thanks to God for all you are and all that you do. Sincerely yours in Christ,”91

                The National Catholic Reporter carried in one of its “Editorials” in this week’s issue “Of seminaries, gays and essential questions.”

                It stated: “The Vatican-inspired inspection of U.S. seminaries as a response to the sex abuse crisis is predictable and even on some levels, logical. It is also, like so many of the church’s responses to the sex abuse crisis largely beside the point.

                “While it was essential for the bishops, in the face of overwhelming public reaction, to finally enact national standards and strict rules about conduct and treatment of priest, they persistently skirt the central question: What about the clergy culture and the culture of the hierarchy, in particular, allowed the abuse o f children, of power and of the community to go on for two decades?

                “Looking at the seminarians fits the pattern of hierarchical dealing with the problem more a deflection from the central point than essential research. The misguided nature of the effort was compounded at the start when Archbishop Edwin F. O’Brien, who heads the inspection, said that seminaries should reject homosexuals, even those who have been celibate for a decade of more.

                “The archbishop must know that if the rule were applied in retrospect across the ordained priesthood, the clergy ranks would thin dramatically at all levee, and one suspect’s that it would certainly cut into the already slim numbers entering seminary. There are another ways to deal with what is widely perceived to be a homosexual culture that prevails at some seminaries. But dealing with the culture and why it is permitted to exist is far different form a sober consideration of homosexuals’ fitness for a celibate life of service.

                “What is the essential difference between a heterosexual celibate and a homosexual celibate? Should the fact that a percentage of priests over the history of celibacy enter sometimes long sexual relationships with women and father children disqualify heterosexuals from the Catholic priesthood?

                “None of this makes sense, and O’Brien’s assertion skates too close to the contention that homosexuality were the cause of the sex abuse crisis.

                “The crisis log ago became one not of sex but of abuse of power and authority, of leaders entrusted with the care of the community deeply betraying that trust.

                “If Rome really wants to contribute to understanding, then after this current exercise of examining seminaries, church leaders should appoint an independent commission and invest considerable time and resources in a thorough and deep investigation of sentential questions…”92

                Here is that “power and authority” issue. This keeps repeating itself into many different ways.

                This same day, The Boston Globe on line reported “Vatican bid to find gays in seminary stirs concern.”

                Michael Paulson of the Globe staff wrote” “An effort by the Vatican to look fro evidence of homosexuality n Catholic seminaries is alarming gay right advocates but is pleasing conservatives, who are hoping that Pope Benedict XVI will son issue a ban on gay men as future priests.

“The planned search for homosexuality is part of a Vatican review prompted by the clergy sexual abuse crisis of 229 American seminaries, theology schools, and other institutions that train priests. It is set to begin this month.

“The chairman of the Boston College theology department, the Rev. Kenneth Himes, sharply criticized the review yesterday, saying that if the bishops really want to understand what caused the sexual abuse crisis, they should investigate their own offices.

“‘What really created the sexual abuse crisis was not poor formation (of priests) in the seminaries, but poor personal management in the chanceries,’ Himes said. ‘Now we are having an investigation of the seminaries, but I wonder when the Vatican and the America bishop will investigate their own chanceries (My stating and empathizing The Worcester Chancery Kabala)

.’…The last review of seminaries was conducted in 1983.

“The investigators are supposed to examine 55 topics outlines in a set of guidelines and instructions developed by the Vatican and firs reported yesterday by The New York Times. In addition to looking fro ‘evidence of homosexuality,’ the documents also asked the investigators to consider how church doctrine is taught at seminaries, whether there is ‘a clear process for removing from the seminary faculty members who dissent form the authoritative teaching of the church,’ whether ‘seminarians know to use alcohol, the Internet, television, etc., with prudence and moderation,’ ands whether the seminary encourages recitation of the rosary, among other cancers…”93

Father Himes has some interesting insights and yet to publicly state them is courageous on his part. 

September 18, 2005

                Dianne Williamson wrote in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette this column “Gay priests becoming scapegoats: Vatican seeks to purge many dutiful servants.”

                Williamson states: “He left the priesthood despite a successful ministry because he felt ‘emasculated’ and ‘like a kid living in my parent’s house,’ he said. Now, he wonders how gay priests-his friends and former colleagues-will manage to survive in a church that may be poised to purge their ranks ad blame their for the sins of others.

                “‘How do you give your life to an organization that’s bashing you?’ wondered this former local priests, now living as an openly gay man. ‘It’s almost evil at work. They’re using gay men as scapegoats, and I find it sinful.’

                “It should come as no surprise, really, because gay get blamed for everything-terrorist attacks, hurricanes, even the re-election of George W. Bush. So why shouldn’t gay priests take the heat for the child sex abuse scandal in the Catholic Church? Do we really expect an institution as intractable as the Vatican to engage in a painful and honest review of the policies that contributed to such corrosive atmosphere?

                “Instead, according to a document obtained by The New York Times, investigators appointed by the Vatican have been instructed to review more than 220 Roman Catholic seminaries in the United States for ‘evidence of homosexuality’ and for faculty dissent form church teachings. The document surfaces as the Vatican prepares to rule on whether gay men should be barred from the priesthood. The reviews were ordered by Rome in April 2002, at the height of the clergy sexual abuse crisis.

                “One can’t help but wonder what sort of ‘evidence’ these investigators will search for. A cacophony of show tune blaring from seminary dorm rooms? Old ticket stubs to Cher concerts” Eye-catching interior design in the common rooms” Television tuned to LOGO channel?

                “The irony, of curse, is that an instruction that claims to promote equality and denounce bigotry is now judging men not on what they do, but solely on who they are. Archbishop Edwin O’Brien, who is spearheading the seminary review, recently said that ‘anyone who has strong homosexual inclinations’ should not be admitted to a seminary. And he also told The National Catholic Register that the restrictions should apply even to those who have been celibate for more than a decade…”94

                It would have been interesting in reading Archbishop O’Brien’s comments on this issue. What I noticed that his comments were given to The National Catholic Register. This is a paper that I should have tried to read to get another perspective. I realize that there is no one that I know that receives it or where to go to read it. It is know to be the counter-balance of the National Catholic Reporter. I went on the Internet and search engine through Google which gave me: The National Catholic Register-Weekly Catholic newspaper covering U.S. issues from distinctly Catholic perspective. This is a very interesting plug line. They have been known to be more Catholic than the Pope.

                Another observation with this document supposedly saying that there will be a check of faculty and their teachings with an underhanded aspect of what some faculty members have published. I recall the 1983 Vatican visitation where my friend and mentor in the seminary, Father Anthony Kosnik, were removed from the faculty of my seminary. I don’t believe we will much of this time around because any theologians of depth were already removed and teaching in secular universities and institutions.  

September 20, 2005

                I was on a ride with Jack Keena and one stopped at the used bookstore in Marlboro, NH. He came over to me in the store and handed me The Abnormal Personality. He made the comment to me that he found it in the pile of old books saying: “Thee are a lot of these people that you know-meaning from the AA groups you attend. I challenged him by saying “who do you mean>’ He resounded: “Those that you meet with on Tuesday and Thursday.” Actually, he was showing me his arrogance and more about himself than those that I knew from my meetings. I always said that those I met at an AA meeting knew they had an issue. He was very good at trying to use “transferal” in his issue on others. I only looked at his this time, saying nothing.

                It did bring to mind how when I began my degree works in Psychology and Counseling at Assumption College with Doctor Rudy Everest on “Abnormal Psychology.” Dr. Everest posed the question: Define ‘normal.” It was a three hurl session. The class was not able to agree on a definition. 

September 24, 2005

                Another meeting with “Father Peacock” this noon time was in my schedule. This time I get how one priest on Administrative Leave is working in a 7-11 Store in Webster another priest is doing “professional work” but keeping it quiet. He said that they had been warned that they are not able to make a fully salary because they will loves the diocesan benefits. Tinsley supposedly was telling others that these priests “are provided for in receiving an appropriate means” from the diocese.

                “Father Peacock” then mentioned that it is interesting how Father Bagley did not fight back on his allegations with all his contacts in the area and Rome.

                This I had to bring to mind how certain individuals ask me why I don’t get a job. The latest that I have been answering: “You are to in my shoes.” I don’t say it but the concern for my medial (diocesan benefits) and the little stipend that I am getting is not to be tested against this Worcester Chancery Kabala.

                Out of no where, “Father Peacock” then said that he had no problem accepting men in the priesthood that are either gay or to gay. Here is the chameleon in the church system approach with the priest issue-now we accept all. Well, he is talking smoking mirrors because the last time we spoke he was talking to me an anti-gay direction. Then, I had to hear from him that depression is considered a disability to be on welfare in the State of Massachusetts.

                Who needs bloggers (Internet) when you have the priest communication underground network? One has to realize that priest are the most scrutinized profession with neighbors having binoculars and hearing devices on the rectory. One thing with today’s bloggers is that we have she pro’s and con’s on issues. Not always so with the priesthood.

                When you have to listen to an individual as “Father Peacock,” one becomes as sharp as a bowling ball.

September 22, 2005

                The New Your Times published this day “New Vatican Rule said to Bar Gays as New Priests.”      

                Jan Fisher and Laurie Goodstein reported: “Rome, Sept 21-Homosecuals, even those who are celibate, will be barred form becoming Roman Catholic priest, a church official said Wednesday, under stricter rules soon to be released on one of the most sensitive issues facing the church.

                “The official, said the question was not ‘if it will published, but when,’ referring to the new ruling about homosexuality in Catholic seminaries, a topic that has stirred much recent rumor and worry in the church. The official, who has authoritative knowledge of the new rules, spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the church’s policy of not commenting on unpublished reports.

                “He said that while Pope Benedict XVI had to yet sign the document, it would probably be released in the next six weeks.

                “In addition to the new document, which will apply to the church worldwide, Vatican investigators have been instructed to visit each of the 229 seminaries in the United States.

                “Although work on the document began years ago under Pope John Paul II, who died in April, its release will be a defining act into eh young papacy of Benedict, a conservative who said last spring that here was  a need to ‘purify’ the church after the deeply damaging sew scandals of the last several years.

                “The church official said the ban would pertain only to candidates for the priesthood, not to those already ordained. He also said the document did not represent any theological shift for the church, whose catechism considers homosexuality ‘objectively disordered.’

                “Although the document has not been released, hints of what it will say are already drawing praise form some Catholics, who contend that such a move is necessary to restore the church’s creativity, and who note that church teaching bars homosexuals, active or not, from the priesthood.

                “Othe Catholics say, though, that the test should be celibacy, not innate sexuality, and they predict resignations form the priesthood that can worsen the church’s deep shortage of clergy…”95 

September 23, 2005

                The Associated Press reporter, Rachel Zoll wrote “Expected Vatican ban on gay seminarians roils church” in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Zoll wrote: “Word that a soon-to-be-released Vatican document will signal homosexuals are unwelcome in Roman Catholic seminaries, even if they are celibate, has devastated gay clergy-and raised doubts among conservatives about whether an outright ban can be enforced.

                “A Vatican official, no spoke on condition of anonymity-notice how this repeats to reporters-because the document has not been released, said yesterday that the upcoming ‘instruction’ form the Vatican’s Congregation for Catholic Education will reaffirm the church’s belief that homosexuals should not be ordained.

                “In recent decades, Vatican officials have stated several times that gays should not become priests because their sexual orientation is ‘intrinsically disordered’ and makes them unsuitable for ministry.

                “The latest document is scheduled to be distributed within weeks just as an evaluation of all 229 American seminaries gets under way under the direction of the same Vatican agency developing the seminary statement. The review, called an Apostolic Visitation, was ordered by Pope John Paul II in response to the U.S. clergy sex abuse crisis which erupted in 2002. Among the questions the evaluators will ask is whether ‘there is evidence of homosexuality in the seminary,’ according to the agency’s guide for the inspections.

                “The Rev. Thomas Krenik, who taught for 10 years at St. Paul Seminary in Minnesota’s and wrote the guidebook ‘Formation for Priestly Celibacy,’ worries that a blanket band on gay priest-candidates will re-create the very conditions the Vatican wants to eradicate.

                “‘For some men who happened to be homosexually oriented, the wood go further in the closed,’ Krenik said. “That would be my fear, that this could become an even worse problem.’

                “A gay  American priest, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he fears reprisals form church  leaders, said he and other gay clergy and seminarians felt ‘absolute horror’ when they heard about the anticipated ban.

                “‘Vie spoken to gay priests who feel demoralized. I’ve herd straight priests say that they’re embarrassed by it. I’ve heard priests both straight and gay seriously considering leaving,’ he said. ‘They couldn’t believe that after centuries of either explicit or implicitly welcoming of celibate gay clergy, that the church would turn its back on them.’

                “James Hitchcock, a church historian at St. Louis University and conservative commentator on contemporary Catholicism, Said he thinks the ban is necessary considering a study of U.S. bishops commissioned from the John Jay College of Criminal Justice found most of the alleged abuse victims since 1950 were adolescent boys. But he conceded the policy will be difficult to enforce, since candidates for the priesthood can hide tier sexual orientation. He’s also concerned that gays truly dedicated to remaining celibate will be unfairly excluded…”96

                God Almighty, reading the name of James Hitchcock kicks-up the gears of the 60s and 70s.I wondered where he went. Now, I know.  

September 27, 2005

                John L. Allen, Jr. gives us “At the Vatican, Exceptions Make the Rule” in The New York Times.

                Allen writes: “The forthcoming Vatican document on gays in seminaries will unleash a wrenching debate about Catholicism and homosexuality, but one thing it is certain not to mean is that in the future there will be no gays in the priesthood. The continued presence of gays in the priesthood will be the product not just of difficulties in enforcement, or the dishonesty of potential candidates, but also of design.

                “Although this is a difficult point for many Anglo-Saxons to grasp, when the Vatican makes statements like ‘no gays in the priesthood,’ it doesn’t actually mean ‘no gays in the priesthood.’ It means, ‘As a general rule, this is not a good idea, but we all know there will be exceptions.’

                “Understanding this distinction requires an appreciation of Italian concepts of law, which hold sway throughout the thought world of the Vatican. The law, according to such thinking, expresses an ideal. It describes a perfect state of affairs from which many people will inevitably fall short. This view is far removed form the typical Anglo-Saxon approach, which expects the law to dictate what people actually do.

                “While Italians grumble about lawlessness, fundamentally they believe in subjectivity. Anyone who’s tired to negotiate the traffic in Italian cities will appreciate the point. No law, most Italians believe, can capture the infinite complexity of human situations, and it’s more important for the law to describe a vision of the ideal community than for it to be rigidly obeyed. Italians have though laws, but tier enforcement is enormously forgiving. Not for nothing was their equivalent of the attorney general’s office once known as the Ministry of Justice and Grace.

                “The British historian Christopher Dawson has described this as the ‘erotic’ spirit of cultures shaped by Roman Catholicism. Catholic cultures are bases on the passionate quest for spiritual perfection, Dawson writes, unlike the ‘bourgeois’ culture of the United States, which, shaped by Protectionism and bases on practical reason, gives priority to economic concerns. As one senior Vatican official put it tome some time ago, ‘Law describes the way things would work fife men were angels.’

                “This value system means that while Vatican officials often project a stern moral image on the public stage, in imitate settings they can be strikingly patient and understanding. Policymakers in the Vatican tend not to but as worked up many Americans by the large number of Catholics I the developed world who flouts church regulations on birth control, for example. It’s not that Vatican officials don’t believe in the regulations. Rather, they believe the very nature of an ideal is that many people will fail to realize it…”97

                Boy, this type f message to people I know would not work, mainly it is these people or individual person way or the highway for anything that doesn’t fit into their desires. Many people I know operate on choosing what they want and find everything else condemned. It is the prevailing attitude: Every man/woman for them.  What I mean total subjectivity.

September 28, 2005

                “Ex-teacher labels case witch hunt: Profit spurred mother to teen, Jennings says” appeared in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette by Shaun Sutner.

                Sutner writes: “Worcester-former high school teacher Amber S. Jennings yesterday called the16-year-old male student with whom she had an affair a ‘so-called victim,’ and alleged that his family is motivated by money.

                “‘He’s to a victim, and he knows he’s not a victim, ‘she said. ‘It was a witch hunt.’

                “The 32-yesr-old former English teacher at Shepard Hill Regional High School in Dudley broke her silence yesterday, a day after pleading guilty toe-mailing the teenager nude pictures of her-and learning she will not have to register as a sex offender.

                “Ms. Jennings also dismissed as ‘ridiculous whining’ the comments of the teen’s mother after the woman told a Superior Court judge in court Monday that Ms. Henning is a sexual predator who ruined the lives of her son and her family.

                “She claimed that the mother has eyed a civil suit she first reported the 1 ½ -year relationship to the Dudley police last summer.

                “‘It is just unfortunate that she would go so far as to ruin her son’s life in order to profit,’ Ms Jennings said. ‘She’s a lunatic.’

                “The mother declined to comment yesterday.

                “Late Monday, Superior Court Judge Kenneth J. Fishman approved a motion filed by Ms. Jennings’ lawyer, Peter M. Ettenberg to relieve her of the obligation of filing with the state’s Sexual Offender Registry Board.

                “‘I’m pleased, obviously,’ Ms. Jennings said of the judge’s decision. ‘He saw the case for what it is.’

                “In e-mails and a telephone interview yesterday, Ms. Jennings spoke publicly about the case for the first time.

                “Under a plea agreement with prosecutors, she was sentenced to two years of supervised probation for the single count of inseminating harmful material to a minor. Two other charges-posing a minor in a state of nudity and depicting a minor in sexual conduct were dropped…”98

                Another article in this same issue was by Kenneth J. Moynihan entitled “Church should expect fallout from expected gay-priests ban.”
Moynihan wrote: “Pope Benedict XVI is expected to issue instructions sometime soon for a survey of American Catholic seminaries. The documents are widely expected to include instructions to keep homosexually men form being ordained to the priesthood.

                “The church has, of course, every right to decide what qualifications its clerical representatives should have but this had become a matter of growing poultice interest because, like other stances take by the church, this one is in conflict with the many-sided campaign for equality for homosexuals in modern Western societies.

                “The Catholic Church has been in the forefront of the resistance- principally to defend its teachings, one of which is that all members of the clergy must be male. However, so many homosexuals have been ordained that ‘the priesthood is ore is becoming a gay profession’ according to the Rev. Donald Cozzens, a former American seminary rector in his book, ‘The Changing Face of the Priesthood,’ published in 2000.

                “Some sources say the exclusion of gay men form the priesthood is not a new policy at all, just a restatement of a 1961 Vatican document. If that’s so, the policy has certainly been applied with flexibility. Both liberal and conservative Catholics agree that the fresh effort to exercise closer supervision of the American seminaries stems from the clerical sexual abuse crisis that seized the church in the United States. Some liberal accuse the Vatican of scapegoat gay priests to deflect blame form the cove-ups carried out by the bishops, while conservatives and others welcome a frond evaluation of education and personal formation in the seminaries…An institution in obvious need of personnel will apparently be expelling men whole behavior has been above reproach, coasting them at not for what the did but for who they are…The decision to exclude homosexual candidates form the seminaries-will reverberate in the wide society as a message that gay men are unsuited for the Catholic priesthood and unwelcome within it. What this will do to hundreds, perhaps thousands of good seminarians and priests may well be a human tragedy. What it will do to the movement for gay rights we will soon be finding out. The same is true of what it will do to the Catholic Church in the United States.”99 

September 29, 2005

                Dianne Williamson writes in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Sometime swallowing is real hard: Some comments are just better left unsaid.”

                Williamson writes: “Maybe I’m cranky due to a cold, but here are a few things I’m must not buying today.

                “Amber Jennings extended her 15 minutes of fame in a given way this week by blasting the mother of her 16-year-old paramour.

                “The former Shepherd Hill Regional High School teacher broke her silence Tuesday by labeling the mother of the student she seduced a ‘lunatic’ and by dubbing mom’s victims impact statement as ‘ridiculous whining.’ She then claimed that the mother is motivated by money while at the same time revealing that she (Amber, not the mom) has written a book about the sordid case.

                “Amber, Amber. Say what you really think. But have you thought about hiring a publicist?

                “The 32-yer-old teacher temptress made the remakes a day after pleading guilty to e-mailing the teen nude pictures of her. In court on Monday, the mother of the teen claimed that Amber is sexual predator who ruined her son’s life. After court, Amber scoffed at the idea that the youth is a victim and said his mom wants to cash in by filing a civil suit.

                “Regardless of the truth of Amber’s remarks, trashing the mom comes off as tacky and shrill. And criticizing the mom for wanting to make a buck while at the same time penning sure-to-lurid memories smacks of hypocrisy.

                “One wonders why Amber would write such book if not for the dough-is she hoping to top high school summer reading lists?”100 

September 30, 2005

                Father Andrew Greeley wrote “Church’s message lost on masses” in his weekly column this day.

                He writes: “Two prominent American archbishops in a recent interview said that the hierarch, now composed of many men not raised in the Vatican Council experience, would turn away from concern over social issues to concern about religious one. Does that mean war; the death penalty is how the rest of us will know the difference. It is not so much that most of the laity and lower clergy don’t listen to the bishops. Rather they simply do not hear them. A pronouncement of the national or local hierarchy gets sort notice if any at all in the secular media unless it is about sex. Even what they say on that subject tends to get garbled.

                “Their words are lost in transmission, life the distress signals form the Titanic. The static of daily life and previous ecclesiastical mistakes has drowned what a church leader says. Moreover, the signals are static in what is often a foreign language, ‘church talk’-a combination of canon law, out-of-date theology, superficial piety and morals, clichés wrapped up in truisms.

                “Worst still, there is little in the way of joy, hip, encouragement, respect, confidence-little of the light shinning on the mountain top, the light of the world. And usually only the barest hind that the bishop has anything important to learn, even from his clergy, to say nothing of the laity.

                “The American bishops am told, are currently engaged in a major efforts to gain just treatment for immigrants- surely a critical religious issue in our society. How many priests have herd of it? How many lay people are aware of it? How many sermons have been preached on immigration? How many articles appear in parish bulletins” my friends in Arizona raise monuments to those who die every year of hunger, thirst, exposure and murder into Sonora desert. But the rest of the church in this country?

                “The public relations skills of the American hierarchy are minimal. (In this and all subsequent generalization, I wish to note that there is exception.) Just as they often choose second-raster lawyers won will dutifully tell them what they want to hear, so they choose the same kind of PR advisers. The bishops themselves rarely halved the presence and the transparency (real or feigned) to be credible spokesmen. They are easily rattled by questions and I respond with arrogance or pomposity or sometimes both in a given situation. Often they are not exactly the swiftest of humans intellectually. In these respects, of course, they are no different form the heads of major American corporations.

                “The difference is that bishops are supposed to be teachers who can communicate with their people. That, alas, is not one of the qualifications for the office this day. Moreover, many of them have little pastoral experience with ordinary people or no sense of what goes on in their alive. Nor are there any reliable channels of upward communication save for usually a highly selected pastoral council or hate mail…”101

                Greeley does have those insights that I hear other priests throw lightning bolts at. Always interesting what he states with his insights even if one does not always agree.

                This next story is going to get more interesting as we find out-if we do-what the outcome is.

                This story in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette by Kevin Keenan of the staff “Bishop makes surprise visit” Gay marriage remark issue.”

                Keenan wrote: “Westboro-Parishioners of St. Luke’s Catholic Church were surprised last weekend when Worcester Bishop Robert J. McManus substituted for their regular priests at two Masses-but they knew exactly why he made an unannounced visit.

                “In a parish bulletin issued Sept. 11, St. Luke’s two priests, the Rev. George O. Lange and the Rev. Steven M. LaBaire, announced that Massachusetts bishops are supporting an amendment to the state constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman, and were seeking parishioners help with a petition drive to obtain signatures to support the movement.

                “The announcement, however, contained an editorial comment saying the parish priests do not support the constitutional amendment, which prompted the unannounced visit last weekend from Bishop McManus.

                “‘I was shocked to see him, but I knew it was in response to people having called him about the statement in the bulletin,’ said Joan Payolas, a parishioner.

                “Bishop McManus said the 5 p.m. Saturday Mass and the 10:30 a.m. Sunday Mass last weekend to ‘make clear’ the church’s position on marriage and support for the constitutional amendment, said Raymond L. Delisle, diocesan spokesman.

                “St. Luke’s priests are not facing sanction or discipline for their bulletin statement, Mr. Delisle said. Neither priest returned a phone call yesterday seeking comment.

                “‘Nothing is going on with the priests. Bishop McManus said two of the Masses to make the church’s position clear on the issue of marriage,’ Mr. Delisle said. ‘There was no discipline or rebuke.”102

                One thing one should have to realize is that this was “show-time” for Bishop McManus to make a statement in the diocese and begin somewhat new-he was in charge. We all know that.

                The Fitchburg Sentinel & Enterprise had this story on page A13 with “Priests pulled after refusing to support anti-gay marriage push.”

                The article wrote: “Westborough, Mass. (AP)-The pastor of a Roam Catholic church was temporarily pulled form the pulpit after he refused to support gay marriage by the state’s bishops.

                “The Rev. George Lange of St. Luke the Evangelist church in Westborough was replaced last weekend by Worcester Bishop Robert McManus, who led the Saturday evening Mss and the Sunday morning Mass.

                “The move came after Lange and his associate pastor, the Rev. Stephen Labaire, posted an item in the Sept 11 church bulletin stating their opposition to a proposed Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. The state’s for Catholic bishops are leading a signature drive to get the amendment on a ballot in the 2008 election.

“The bulletin item read” ‘The priests of this parish do not feel that they can support this amendment. They do not see any value to it and they see it an attack upon certain people in our parish, namely those who are gay.’

“Worcester Diocese spokesman Raymond Delisle said Lange and Labaire would keep their jobs at St. Luke’s and no further disciplinary action was planned against the two priests.

“‘It was only one weekend,’ he said. ‘Everything should be back to the normal schedule.’

“Delisle said the bishop’s intention was not to rebuke the priests, both to explain the church position on gay marriage.

“But parishioner Cindy Hodgdon said her church leaders’ hands were slapped very publicly.’ (No kidding. My experience with Bishop Rueger in 1993.)

“Bishop McManus told us that Father George ‘made a mistake’ and ‘should not have done that,’ he said.

“‘Everybody was stunned,’ said parishioner Rob Wilson. ‘It was a rather stunning homily. ‘ Messages left at the church for Lange and Lebaire were not immediately returned.

“Delisle said Lange is on a previously scheduled vacation and would not be present at this weekend’s masses, when petitions are scheduled to be distributed.”103

Continuing news items for this day The New York Times carried the story “Americans Plan Rome Trip Over Ban on Gay Priests” written by Laurie Goodstein.

Goodstein wrote: “Responding to reports that the Vatican may be close to releasing a directive to exclude most gay candidates form entering the priesthood, leaders of Roman Catholic men’s religious order into eh United States are planning travel to Rome to voice their objections in person.

“This trip is one of the steps by leaders of Catholic religious orders to try to reassure priests and seminarians who have been rattled by news of a possible Vatican ban on the ordination of gay men.

“Word of this trip, which has not been scheduled, was in an internal letter sent on Monday to leaders of religious orders from the Conference of Major Superiors of Men, the key American coordination body for more than 250 leaders of Catholic religious orders, like the Franciscans, the Dominicans and the Jesuits. The letter was provided to The New York Times by a member of a religious order who said he was pleased by the superiors’ actions.

“In addition, at least two leaders of Jesuit provinces have written to their priest and seminarians reassuring them that their sexual orientation is not an issue as log as they remain celibate and chaste.

“‘We’re not going to push anybody overboard,’ said the Rev. John Whitney, head of the Oregon province of Jesuits, which includes 254 men in five Northwestern states.

“The Vatican has not even released a document on the issue, which has been under discussion for more than 10 years. Several news outlets, including The Times, reported last week that Vatican officials had said it would most likely be released soon, but not Vatican directive is certain until it is formally promulgated.

“Still, several religious superiors said on Thursday that even the anticipation that the church could exclude men form the priesthood because of their sexual orientation had prompted an outpouring of fear and concern among poi rests-gays and heterosexuals alike. The superiors said their goal was to communicate to their men that they understood the impact that such a directive could have, and to convey to the Vatican in hopes they could have an impact on the document’s contents…”104 

October 1, 2005

                My book will not have a “Table of Contents.” If one is looking for their name, they would have to read the book besides that last chapter. 

October 3, 2005

                The petition signing in the diocesan churches raise two issues: The gay brother –priest must be nervous because their friends might go public if the pastor is supporting this petition drive. We wouldn’t hear anything most likely but after a certain period of time priest would disappear off the radar screen. The other issue will have certain groups putting the petition signers on the Internet for all to see. This may get some interesting kick-backs on certain clerical people and reactions by certain people. The clerical collar may be getting tight. 

October 5, 2005

The Worcester Telegram & Gazette printed on the front page “Signature trickery hearing set: Anti-gay-marriage petition driven fraud” by Bronislaus B. Kush and Kathleen A. Shaw.

They wrote: “Boston-The State Legislature’s Joint Committee on Election Laws will hold a hearing later this month to investigate charges that contractors hired to gather signatures for a 206 ballot, initiated that seeks to make it easier to purchase wine at supermarkets used bid-and-switch tactics and other trickery to get voters to sing a petition that would ban same-sex marriages in the Bay State.

                “‘For the second time in four years, out-of-state groups have hijacked the initiative petition process by paying signature gatherers by the signature and using blatantly deceptive tactics to mislead voters,’ said stet Sen. Edward M. Augustus Jr. of Worcester, the Senate co-chairman of the panel. ‘This is a perversion of our democratic process and its must be stopped.

                “The hearing is scheduled for 2:30 p.m. Oct 18 at the Statehouse.

                “The decision to hold the hearing came after the state attorney general’s office, the Telegram & Gazette and others began receiving complaints from residents complaining they  were duped into signing petitions aimed at reversing the 2003 ruling by the Massachusetts supreme Judicial Court allowing same-sex marriages.

“Complaints continued to flow yesterday into the newspaper and to local and state election officials from irate individuals who believe they were tricked into signing the anti-gay wedding initiatives…”105 

October 6, 2005

                I noticed that I have been falling asleep at the computer when read my document (journal). In addition, the same is true at meeting and different times of the day. Bit, I noticed I start-up at 10:00 p.m. and I am ready to go. I need to change my daily procedure to get good nights sleep. 

October 7, 2005

                This day, my birthday, had Eugenia’s last Horoscope for this day-birthday baby: You thrive on adventure and pushing the envelope. You think big and are willing to take things one step further than anyone else. You are genuine, fun-loving and free-spirited.

                Mrs. Joan Keena said that this fit me: “It is you!”

                The “Editorial” section of the National Catholic Reporter this day printed ‘Bishops, where do we go from here?”

                It stated? “The deeply disturbing grand jury report on sexual abuse of children by priests in the Philadelphia archdiocese delves into a prolonged and shocking crisis. It reveals the flaws of the system established to protect children and the related extend of the corruption that has seeped into the church’s hierarchical structure.

                “The Philadelphia report, in an unprecedented way, details the level of deception and minuses of law employed to protect known repeat abusers, including rapists, within the Catholic clergy. The district attorney’s office in Philadelphia, with the benefit of more than 45,000 pages of subpoenaed documents and testimony from more than who witnesses gathered over a three-year investigation, fashioned a narrative showing a clergy and hierarchical culture so intent on protecting itself that it placed hundreds of children at risk of cruel exploitation.

                “If this watershed moment in this awful chapter of modern church history passes without dramatic action on the part of church authorities, then we have to wonder how we can continue to call ourselves Christian, or a church…We urge youth read the reort…It is a formable takes, at it us also a rare opportunity to understand, in excruciating detail, to what degree cardinals and others abandoned basic human decency to protect themselves. The report makes clear the depraved distortions of logic that hold sway when the privileged and insular world of the hierarchy and clergy’s threatened. In that world, preservation of the status quo and protection of the clergy culture is the primary good. They have poisoned the Catholic life they are supposed to exemplify…

                “The abuse, the cover-up and the scandal have all persisted for more than 20 years. Perhaps there is one among the bishops these years who can find the wherewithal to stand in that meeting room and bellow at the top of his lungs: Enough! It is time to tell the truth, all of it, and to beg the community’s forgiveness.

                “And forgive the community will. But it must first know the full truth.”106

                This same day, the National Catholic Reporter posted on their web page “No ban on gays expected in Vatican document; will advise ‘prudential judgment’” by John L. Allen, Jr.-Rome.

                Allen reported” “A forthcoming Vatican document on homosexuals in seminaries will not demand an absolute ban senior Vatican  official told NCR Oct. 7, but will insist the seminary officials exercise ‘prudential judgment’ that gay candidates should not be admitted in three cases.

                “Those three cases are: If candidates have haven’t demonstrated a capacity to live celibate lives for at least three years: If they are part of a ‘gay culture,’ for example, attending gay pride rallies (a point, the office said, which applies both to professors at seminaries as well as students); If their homosexual orientation is sufficiently ‘strong, permanent and univocal’ as to make all-male environment a risk.

                “In any case, the Vatican official said, whether our not these criteria exclude a particular candidate I; judgment that must be made in the context of individual spiritual direction, rather than by applying; rigid litmus test.

                “This language is in contrast with earlier news reports that had suggested a much more sweeping b; gays in the seminary.

                “The senior Vatican official spoke with NCR on background, after an Oct. 7 report in the Italian newspaper Corrieredella Sera listed the first two, but not the third, of the conditions notes above exclusion of gay candidates.

                “The Vatican official sad that given the ambiguity of the concept of ‘homosexuality,’ meaning the difficulty of providing a precise definition of the term, an ‘absolute policy’ is impossible…”107

                In addition, this day Father Andrew Greeley wrote in the Chicago Sun-Times “Where’s proof of church’s gay ban?”

                Greeley wrote: “Has anyone seen the document which alleges that gay men cannot be priests.”

                “No one apparently has seen it, read it, or is able to quote it. Yet, based on one story in the New York Times, an epidemic of commentary on it has swept the country. How the heck, I wonder, can anyone comment on a document they haven’t seen?

                “Editorial writers, columnists, cartoonists, conservative Catholics, liberal Catholics, letter writers, priests, gay and straight, Vatican II and John Paul II priests have all expressed firm and forthright and inclusive opinions. A delegation priests who are superiors in the men’s religious order (Jesuit, Dominican, etc.) are rushing to Rome to protest-as if the Vatican gives a hoot about what American Jesuits think.

                “Only Richard John Neuhaus in his ultra-conservative journal, First Things, and National Catholic Reporter Rome Bureau Chief John Allen In another piece in the New York Times) have suggested that there might be some exaggeration in the reactions to the document that no one has seen.

                “Thus the religion writer for the Times-who is a to best tone deaf on Catholic subjects-has launched a wave of anti-Catholic sentiment across the country on the basis of a document that his almost certainly has not seen. Might I suggest this outpouring of anger is evidence, among other things, of how eager many people are to believe the worst about the Catholic Church? This may well be the fault of the image the Catholic leadership has crested.

                “In the history of the church, there have been many men whose orientation was not heterosexual-priests, bishops, scholars, cardinals, popes, saints. The gay men I have met in the priesthood are usually fine priests. My research (Priests: A Calling in Crisis-University of Chicago Press) indicates that about a sixth of American priest are gay and three-fifths of them are celibate, ass are four-fifths of straight priests. However, statistics are of little avail when many conservative Catholics-and some Roman Curialists- believe gay men cannot be validly ordained, and those who are in the priesthood should be thrown out. It would be interesting those how many of the curial congregations would decline sharply if such draconian measures were imposed.

                “The argument in favor of banishing gays from ordination is the sex abuse crisis. The argument reasons that because most abusers are gay, then all gays are abusers, a fallacy whose false reasoning escapees the dunderheads who make it.

                “There are already two Vatican documents-one from the Congregation for Divine Worship and another from the Congregation for Religious-that ban the ordination gay’s No attempt has been made to enforce them. Whether the new document form the Congregation for Education will have any more impact remains to be seen. One will have to read the fine print of the document to see what it means and especially, as John Allen says, whether there is a mechanism of enforcement. Until then, one should suspend judgment. However when the document itself appears, it will be stretched to fit the paradigm created by the Times…”108 

October 8, 2005

                I attended Jack and Joan’s 50th Anniversary party. It was fun keeping them in a surprise which there son and daughter were planning for some time to have their party with relatives and friends from N.J. and the area. First item that I have been to a public function for some time with many people that I knew in my public ministry. I had an excellent time.

                I spoke with my cousin, Mickey Bish where I called him to thank him for my birthday cared. He said that he was not sure what to write on the address envelope with “Rev.” or not. I said that I am a priest and that would be proper. He then said how he collects the mail daily for the Molly Bish Foundation. John Bish told him he wants the mail checked daily to see if any ‘Crazy people” are writing. There is a certain guy from Southbridge that have to have that mail pulled-out. He then spoke about how dangerous it is with the terrorist situation.  What struck me was his mentality of “fear” prevailing. He told me that he travels with John Bish to do the picture routine and places that they speak. I mentioned that I noticed the Molly Bish Foundation does a Mount Community College program in Gardner. I told him that I live 3 minutes form the school. I asked him to give me a call next time he is in the area. There was a dead silence on his part. But, the fact of the “fear” mentality was obvious in me picking-up his attitude with this. It was interesting talking with him those few moments. I was talking with the ‘shock jock” mentality that lives in a small town of Massachusetts and plays-up the relative sequence of being a Molly Bish relative. I really don’t miss certain things. 

October 9, 2005

                I had lunch with Donald Sarin who I knew in Michigan. He and his friend also had me show them the church renovations that I did at St. Edwards. It was a proud mini-tour of my accomplishments. They told me they were very impressed when I explained the details of what was done.

                Don mentioned to me that he knew a guy in the book industry that is now retired. But, Don said he may be able to help me get a book published. It was interesting to even have such a contact. 

October 10, 2005

                Father Richard P. McBrien who writes a weekly column entitled “Essays in Theology” with this topic “Homosexuality and Priesthood.”

                McBrien writes: “Homosexuality in seminaries and in the priesthood is a tired-rail issue in the Catholic Church. Those who dare touch it almost inevitably experience a sharp jolt of criticism form one side or the other.

                “As of this writing, there have been reports that Pope Benedict XVI may have already approve a document barring even sexually chaste gays from seminaries and from the priesthood. Needless to say, this report, in conjunction with the apostolic visitation of W.S. seminaries and houses of formation, has created much anxiety and ill-will within the gay community.

                “The coordinator of the visitation some 229 seminaries, theologies, and other institutions that prepare men for the priesthood is Archbishop Edwin O’Brien, former rector of the North American College in Rome and currently heads of the Military Series Archdiocese, which places him in charge of all U.S. Catholic military chaplains.

                “Comments made last month by Archbishop O’Brien have lent credence to the report that the pope himself was about to approve a document banning gays, whether chaste or not, from admission to seminaries and ordination to the priesthood.

                “‘I think anyone who has engaged in homosexual activity, or has strong homosexual inclination, would be best not to apply to a seminary and to be accepted into a seminary,’ the archbishop told the conservative National Catholic Register. He is also reported to have said that even homosexuals who have been chaste for ten years or more should not be admitted to seminaries.

                “Andrew Sullivan, a prolific writer and an openly gay Catholic layman, mounted one of the most severe criticisms on his Web site (, 9/20/05): “Notice that what is being discriminated against here is not someone’s actions or behavior, but their very identity. Notice that the church is implying complete lack of self-control to all gay priests, regardless of their record or potential.’

                “Sullivan pointed out that in 1986 then –Cardinal Ratzinger’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith repudiated such thinking, calling it an ‘unfounded and demeaning assumption.’

                “But if Archbishop O’Brien’s remarks are a reliable indicator of the direction the apostolic visitation will take if the pope does, in fact, approve a new policy prohibiting gays form entering seminaries and been ordained to the priesthood, Sullivan charges that all gay seminarians and priests would thereby ‘be reduced and judged solely on their sexual orientation.’

                “‘They can not marry or form stable relationships; they cannot remain celibate; and they are potential molesters of children. What other logical inferences are possible form this new policy?’…

                “One of several problems with these latent initiatives is that they miss one of the major targets. As Father Kenneth Himes, chair of theology at Boston College, put it: ‘What really created the sexual abuse crisis were to poor formation in the seminaries, but poor personnel management inn the chanceries.’ And in bishops’ offices.”109 

October 13, 2005

                I was talking with a classmate about my situation. I made this observation: Isn’t it interesting that victims of priest never get cross-examined... Another point was the presumption of guilt culture overwhelms the facts. 

October 14, 2005

                Father Greeley wrote “Factions put spin on gays in Vatican” in his column of the Chicago Sun-Times.

                He wrote: “the mystery of the Vatican Document o the ordination of homosexuals gets, if one might quote Mrs. Alice in Wonderland, ‘Curiouser and curiouser.’ Last week it was reported that someone in the Vatican had briefed American reporters with the information that the document would say that not even 10 years of celibacy would justify the ordination of a man with homosexual orientation.

                “Now this week word appears in an Associated Press dispatch and in the weekly copyrighted column of John Allen (of the National Catholic Reporter) that another Vatican briefing revealed to him that three years of celibacy is sufficient grounds for keeping a homosexual in the seminary-so long as he is not part of a gay subculture and would not be a threat in an all-male environment. Allen also reports that these conditions were published in the Italian newspaper Carriere della Sera. He adds that he was told ‘whether or not these criteria exclude a particular candidate is a judgment that must be made into eh context of individual spiritual direction rather than by applying a rigid litmus test.’

                “I would be inclined to believe that Allen’s reports are more reliable because he is the most able English-speaking bureau chief who covers the Vatican.

                “However, the question arises as to what in the world is going n in the Vatican.

                “Moreover, Archbishop O’Brien, had of the commission that is ‘visiting’ American seminaries, has asserted (in a Catholic Press Association story) that, when he spoke about a 10-year period of celibacy not being enough, he was expressing his own opinion and not that of the pope. It odes to follow, however, that the archbishop was the source of the first briefing.

                “If I had to guess about what’s going omit that the various factions in Rome are putting their own ‘spin’ on the document, just as political parities in the United States put ‘spin’ on events like hurricanes and wars and Supreme Court appointments, each hoping to convince journalists and readers immediately before an event or immediately after an event what it means…”110

                In these weeks National Catholic Reporter “Editorials” addressed “A gay priest speaks on impending Vatican document” by Jeff Severns Guntzel.

                It reads: “The ‘anonymous gay priest’ is getting a lot of attention lately. He is turning up in newspapers, on the radio, and he is getting calls from TV producers (complete with promise of fake mustache and altered voice). They are from both coasts and police in-between. Their take on recent news from the Vatican causes in them a variety of responses with some uniformity: They are hurt and they are scared.

                NCR spoke with a gay priest who is active in an ethnically diverse urban parish on the East Coast. He was eager to speak out but just as eager to protect his identity and his vocation. In the interview that follows, this priest reflects on the possible release of a document barring-gay men form entering the seminary, news of a Vatican plan to send teams of investigators to each f the more than 200 American Catholic seminaries to gather ‘evidence of homosexuality,’ and the internal struggle of a gay prêt trying to stay true to his vocation in a church that is, at best, conflicted about homosexuality and, at worst, acting out a deep prejudice.

                “NCR: what was your initial reaction to word of a looming Vatican document barring-or at least discouraging homosexuals from entering the seminary?”

                “Priest: I was horrified. And like many other celibate gay priests I know. I was also angry and discouraged and sad.

                “Where you surprised:

                “It’s something that a lot of gay priests have been expecting. Ever since this crisis began thee have been a number of bishops and even people in the Vatican who have been blaming gay priests for the sexual abuse crisis.

                “Certainly the majority of the case was people preying on adolescent males and hung boys. The logical fallacy, though, is those that every gay priest is therefore a pedophile, which’s crazy-our to assume that gay priests are to celibate, which is also crazy. Every gay priest I know is celibate. Now, I may travel invert faithful circles, but that is my experience…”111 

October 17, 2005

                Time magazine carried the story “Screening the Priests: How do the churches shrinks decide who’s gay and who isn’t? The first thing they do is ask.” David Van Biema and Sean Scully/Philadelphia wrote the column.

                They wrote: “Thomas Plante asks the question roughly 20 times a year, and if it doesn’t work, he’s ready with the follow-up.’ You say,’ well, tell me what your dating history is like,’ explains the Santa Clara University psychology professor. ‘And usually they ‘all hand it to you on a silver platter. If they don’t, you say,’ well, do you find yourself more interested in involvement with women or with men?’ If they say, ‘I’ve never dated, you say, ‘Well when you walk down the street who catches your eye/’ And so, gently but relentlessly, Plante, one of several dozen U.S. therapists who screen candidates for Roman Catholic seminaries, attempts to ensure that the church knows the sexual orientation of one more would-be priest.

                “For the past month, screeners like Plante have braced for a new directive from the Vatican. In the wake of the sexual-abuse scandal among U.S. clergy-in which some 80% of the victims were boys the church seemed poised to carry out a blanket ban on admitting homosexuals, even celibate gays to its seminaries. Italians newspapers, however, are now reporting that Pope Benedict XVI had singed a somewhat less extreme ‘instruction.’ But while awaiting that edict, the psychologists like Plante, who (among other things) help determine whether prospective seminaries are gay have been drawn into a debate about that particular aspect of their job. Predominantly Catholic, but not necessarily ordained, most fathers’ psychologists are quite comfortable with the notion of celibate gay priest. And most are quick to point, as Plante does, that ‘being homosexual doesn’t put you at higher risk for committing sexual offenses against kids.’

                “Fifty years ago, Plante’ sideline-he done roughly 175 seminary evaluations since 1988, at about $450 apiece-did not exist. While seminaries have always screened candidates through interviews, personal preferences and often written spiritual autobiographies, the process has become increasingly complex and now takes one to three years. Testing by professional psychologists, introduced in the ‘50s, has obliterated in the past tow decades as the American church ahs redefined spirituality form a narrow focus on piety and discipline to one ‘involving things like the psychological and social maturity on which spirituality builds,’ explains Charles Bouchard, president of the Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Mo. Supporters of the added vetting believe that it may eventually be see to have played a role in reducing priestly sexual abuse, which appears to have crested in the ‘80s. Says Bourchard: ‘Unknowingly, we actually screened in some people who, we now realize, have markers for sexual abuse. Compliance, docility and solitariness fit the earlier definition of holiness, but we now recognize (those traits) as possible indicators for an abusive personality…”112 

October 18, 2005

                In a letter printed in the “People’s Forum” of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette from Joseph Federici of Westboro entitled “Bishop berated two parish priests.”

                He wrote: “On Sept 24, Bishop Robert McManus visited St. Like’s parish in Westboro. It was a surprise visit. Father Steve and Father George were not aware that he was coming. Bishop McManus resided over the 5:30 p.m. Mass on Saturday and against at the 10:30 ammo. Mass on Sunday. Many of the parishioners were surprised to see him at these Masses.

                “In his homilies at both Masses, the bishop took offense to an article into eh Sept. 11 parish bulleting regarding gay marriage in the Catholic Church. He harshly criticized Father Steve and Father George on their stance on gay people. Several people waked out of both Masses and were appalled at the bishop’s remarks. His tone of voice showed anger with the two poi rests.

                “Bishop McManus needs to take a curse in management skills, namely Management 101. A good manager never berates his subordinates in public without first talking privately with them.

                “In my opinion, bishop McManus should apologize publicly to the two priests and the parishioners of St. Like’s and enroll in a course on how to deal with people. He needs to have more compassion and respect for his subordinates.”113 

October 19, 2005

                I had to hear “Father Peacock” go again at the issue of ‘Statue of limitations’ being addressed in the state of Massachusetts. This guy circles this topic around on me periodically. He enjoys watching my facial expression. So, I go me to what I call the “poker mode” and watch him trying to upset me or hoping to get a reaction from me. It is the continuation of what I call the “rectory living board game.” It is where living in a Catholic rectory one guy tried to get something or even anything on the other guy’s character. These are maybe tidbits of gossip or anything as such. It doesn’t eve have to be relevant. But, watch out it will circle around on you. It was part of the atmosphere in Catholic rectories in living with uncertainty. It was not healthy to live in this type of atmosphere.

                I was asked by my Confessor: “Why do you need him? (Father Peacock) He is your contact with evil as a person. Would you rather be lonely or miserable?” I responded with “lonely.” My Confessor said that Father Peacock enjoys “tormenting” you. It was an insight I knew about for some time and now had a word to identity the experience. 

October 23, 2005

                What a ride with “Father Peacock” this Sunday afternoon. I had to hear how he went to his doctor for a six-month check-up with his doctor-Dr. Charpientier. He never told me who is doctor was before. This time he says that the doctor said that whenever he wants a “letter” to retire that the doctor would write it for him.

What came to  mind was that the new pastor in St. Edward’s told me: They will only get “Father Peacock” out of his parish in a coffin and even then the would have to pry him out.

                Then I had to hear-three times about what we talked about before of the bumper sticker he wants on his car: The one who dies with the most (toys)-WINS. I obviously got the message the first time. He had a way to work some conversations to degrade me being on administrative leave. This told of the bumper sticker was translated about me living below the “poverty level.”

                “Father Peacock” continued saying “I’m not fishing.” What he really meant was that he was “constantly” fishing to get gossip or information. One thing with this guy was I did not relax very much in I didn’t know what was going to come back at me. I know this sounds paranoiac. Yet, someone would ask: Why did you go for lunch or coffee with him? Answer: He was my only contact with the priesthood. I was the ‘leper’ to my brother-priest.

                He, next, told me about $73,000 anonymous donation was given to the parish. It came out that the donor’s sister who had her sister “incapacitated” came to the rectory to request the money back to the family. He asked me what I would do. I said would contact the Finance Office in the Chancery for suggestions with the recommendation of returning the money to the family estate. Well, he told me how he spoke to the Deacon and the Religious Sister at the parish-no finance committee as such but one only in name-and he returned the money. I felt he did it again in that I was thinking he was looking for input on my part. He already did what he was going to do. I felt any one of silent degradations which he would do to me. There was no way to win with this guy. I know that I thank God many times that I never had to serve or live in the same rectory with this guy. This is some statement on my part because I had some “classic” assignments with pastors.

                He continued in how I was on the DEF committee of the chancery. He came back at me with how he gave seven years and “It did no good.” What the coded language was in that he was the area priest Dean and was never made a “Monsignor.” I was glad to get to my place after this ride. I never saw him so angry.

                I was reading in Newsweek about the Mormons (DLS). It said how everyone is empowered in some way to do good for others and to have good done to them (Covenant of caring). The nurturing of a bond between them is in a spirit of charity. Everyone is a minister of some kind. This had me thinking of how the R.C.I.A. in the Catholic Church is exactly teaching this type of model in our “Mystagogy.”               

October 25, 2005

                “Rev. Aquino delivers apology: Vegas sexual actions denied” was on the front page picture and story in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Mark Melady wrote: “Worcester-The Rev. James Aquino, pastor of Our Lady of Loreto Parish and former superintendent of Catholic schools, stood on the church altar last night and told parishioners he had made a ‘very stupid mistake’ by entering a sex store in Las Vegas but denied having sex with anyone despite being charged with lewd conduct.

                “‘I want you to know,’ he told several hundred parishioners gathered at the Massasoit Road Church, ‘that I never, never, never engaged in any sexual activity of any kind. I was never arrested, I was ever handcuffed and I was never taken to the police station.’

                “Rev. Aquino was given a standing ovation from he parishioners and was later praised as a compassionate, energetic priest, ‘the best pastor we’ve eve had,’ in the words of one-woman.

                “He acknowledged receiving a citation for lewd conduct, obstructing and providing false information on Oct. 21, 2004, while vacationing in Las Vegas with Monsignor Louis P. Permarini (Telegram and Gazette famous story with playing bingo), calling the charges ‘false accusations.’

                “After a nearly 11-month continuance, the charges were dismissed Sept. 6 in the Justice Court of Las Vegas during which Rev. Aquino met several conditions including counseling and to hours of community service.

                “‘It’s done, it’s finished, everything’s behind me. It’s over,’ Rev. Aquino said.

                “He said he was order to keep quiet about ht incident by Bishop Robert J. McManus and his lawyer but took to the altar last night because ‘I wanted to speak to my people personally, I wanted to clear my name.

                “Anthony A. Froio, Rev. Aquino’s lawyer, called the citation ‘like a traffic ticket.’ …”114

                Interesting how the Worcester Chancery is now reacting to clergy situations-Letters that are FAX to the priest from the Bishop. I guess they have learned to paint by the numbers after all of the last 20 years.

                Bishop McManus writes:

“Dear Father,

“One year ago, in Nevada, an allegation of sexual impropriety was made regarding Father James Aquino. (He was arrested.) I learned of this allegation this past March from the District Attorney of Clark County, NV. A legal process began five months before I was informed. Subsequently, that legal process led me to believe that a charge had been cited as misdemeanor and it was a misdemeanor and it was dismissed. From the point at which I became aware of the matter I have worked closely with Father Aquino, and I have expressed my concern for his spiritual and physical well-being. I have been addressing this matter pastorally and confidentially. (He is part of the Chancery Staff-Permanent Deacon Director)

“In recent days I was made aware that the matter had come to the attention of others through various websites and the steps had been taken to publicize the matter more widely. This, no longer able to pursue the matter confidentially as I had done previously, I found it prudent to express my concerns to the parishioners of Our Lady of Loreto Parish. I asked Monsignor Thomas Sullivan to represent me in explaining the matter at the entire parish Masses this past weekend. In addition to has explanation he met with parishioners following each Mass.

“As you may have seen reported in today Telegram & Gazette, Father Aquino spoke to his parishioners about the matter last evening. Today’s news article reported that I had ordered Father Aquino not to do so. This is clearly mistaken. Father Aquino spoke with his parishioners only after I had given him permission to do so.

“An allegation of sexual impropriety is a serious matter and I have treated it in his fashion. Nevertheless, I have not asked Father Aquino to resign the parish r his diocesan responsibilities.

“I assure you that I will continue to investigate the matter, and continue to provide pastoral support for Father Aquino as well as the people of Our Lady of Loreto Parish.

                “In the spirit of the Gospel this past weekend, our faith compels us to deepen our love for God and neighbor. The Lord’s word challenges us to seek love, reconciliation and forgiveness. Please be assured that all our priests are imp y thoughts and prayers, as are the parishioners of Our Lady of  Loreto, and the diocesan deacons, deaconate candidates and their families, all served by Father Aquino. Sincerely yours in Christ…”115

                What we see operating is that there always have been two standards for this diocese: One standard for bishops and chancery staff and the other for priest. I had the recall where Aquino said that it was not with a child or minor. It was another issue. Well what about the sixth commandment in what Msgr. Pedone reported in March 2003 of ‘improper sexual conduct” and the “code of conduct?”

                The story even became more interesting where “Father Peacock” told me how a permanent Deacon candidate from Milford said that when Aquino was headmaster at St. Mary’s Catholic Central High School in Milford and took a “leave” because according to the story was that Aquino had a “girlfriend.”  Here was the technique of putting the spotlight of the gay priesthood on another location. Here it was “girlfriend” to mean the opposite in the priest telling me this gossip. What I had to realize with this that the priest telling me the story was expressing “jealousy” of Aquino. This was another of those issues in the “gay culture.” It was distractive character assassination with coded language.

                What had me surprised, again, was that “Father Peacock” told me that he was angry at Aquino, where he was not at Bagley. What did he mean by that”? I will never know and am wasting my psychic energy even investing any time to try to figure this last statement. But, this was another thing of rectory and “gay culture” atmosphere: You didn’t know “who” was on first or “what” was on second. Message was always being thrown about in code and otherwise. It was living in a mind blogging culture of authority and power.

                There is one issue that no one had mentioned in any way: How was it that Father Aquino celebrated his 40th Anniversary of Ordination with Bishop Rueger concelebrating at Our Day of Loreto parish in May with Msgr. Permanini. Yet, Bishop McManus knew about the previous October incident in Las Vegas in February which was known to be a “criminal” issue? Just wondering how Father Aquino was do the “dance” and Bishop McManus taking part? Do Chancery priest get special treatment? Would anything have happened if Aquino’s Las Vegas police report didn’t appear on the Internet? Just wondering. 

October 26, 2005

                Well, the next morning Kathleen A. Shaw writes in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Bishop taking case seriously: Priest’s account is disputed.”

                Shaw writes: “Worcester-Bishop Robert J. McManus, despite initially having been told that that the Rev. James J. Aquino was the victim of false accusations, is taking seriously the priest’s admission that he as initially charge with lewd conduct in an adult store in Las Vegas last years.

                “‘There’s no question he’s taking this very seriously,’ said Raymond L. Delisle, diocesan spokesman. The bishop has not changed his decision to leave Rev. Aquino in his position as pastor of Our Lady of Loreto Church and director of the diocesan deaconate program, Mr. Delisle said.

                “According to Las Vegas police, undercover police officers issued a criminal citation to the priest after seeking him masturbating another man for 30 minutes in the Adult Super Store.

                “Rev. Aquino told several hundred of his parishioners at his church Monday night that he had made a ‘very stupid mistake’ by entering the store, but that he maneuver engaged in any sexual activity of any kind.’ He sad he spend only 5 to 10 minutes in the sore before he was approached by two men who identified themselves as police and told him to follow them to the parking lot. There he was detained, but never arrested or taken to the police station, he said.

                “Bishop McManus last week said he learned of the Las Vegas incident earlier this year but was advised by Rev. Aquino’s lawyer that the allegations were false and were later dismissed by the Justice Court.

                “However, court records, verified yesterday by a court spokeswoman in Las Vegas, show the case was dismissed after Rev. Aquino pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, did community service, sought counseling and stayed out of trouble. He was initially charged with led conduct and giving false information to a police office.

                “The bishop said last week that in light of information provided by Rev. Aquino’s lawyer; Rev. Aquino would continue in ministry and continue to head the deaconate program. Mr. Delisle said yesterday he could not say more about the bishop’s response to the latest revelation contra ding the priest’s explanation, except that the bishop was taking the situation seriously.

                “Stephen G. Brady, president of a group called the Roman Catholic Faithful, notified Patricia O’Leary Engdahl, who formerly headed the diocesan Office for Healing and Prevention, of the charges against Rev. Aquino in an e-mail sent on March 10.

                “He said Ms. Engdahl replied that she had sent his e-mail to Rev. Aquino and that she also told Bishop McManus about it. ‘He has spoke with the civil authorities in Las Vegas. The bishop is appropriately addressing the matter,’ she said. Mr. Brady said he never heard back from the bishop or Ms. Engdahl.

                “Daniel E. Dick of Worcester, victim support coordinator for Worcester Voice of the Faithful, brought the information about Rev. Aquino to the bishop’s attention and in an Oct 17 letter, the bishop told him he could not discuss with him issues of a confidential nature ‘which affect innocent, honest individuals.’

                The bishop sad, however that he was aware of the alleged incident ‘and have investigated he facts and circumstances associated with it’ He told Mr. Dick that the charges made against Rev. Aquino were false and subsequently dismissed’ by the court.

                “Mr. Dick said he cannot understand how a bishop could accept a lawyer’s assessment when the arrest report said that both men were issued criminal citations. He also questioned how the bishop can dismiss the allegations as false when Rev. Aquino entered a guilty plea and had to do community service and go to counseling.

                “Mary T. Jean of Leominster, who operates the Web side of Worcester Voice, was critical of Rev. Aquino for telling parishioner’s that the Catholic organizations that worked to get information out to the public were ‘priest-hating.’ A lifelong Catholic, Ms Jean said she does to hate priests. She sad her issue is safety of children and acting against clergy misconduct.

                “The court documents were posted at Established in 2002, the site deals only with allegations of clergy misconduct in the Worcester diocese.”116 

October 27, 2005

                Now we get a dose of Dianne Williamson in her column of this day on page B1. I wonder, after reading it why she was so kind to him overall in comparison of here previous writings on clergy?

                She wrote “Priests behaving badly: Church hierarchy guilty of hypocrisies” which reads: “Unfortunately for the Rev. James H. Aquino, what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

                “But what did happened in Vegas, and why should we care” We... for starters, priests shouldn’t hide behind bishops and lawyers bishops shouldn’t condone in private the same conduct they condemn in public, and the Catholic Church really should get its story straight when it comes to bad behavior.

                “If you believe Rev. Aquino’s extraordinary performance form the pulpit Monday night-remarkably most of his parishioners see seem to –he was an innocent victim of rogue Las Vegas cops who targeted him because he was a priest.

                “‘When they saw my license and saw I was a priest, they asked me if I way Catholic and I said, ‘Yes, I was,’ and that’s when the nightmare began,’ he told hundred of transfixed parishioners at Our Lady of Loreto Church.

                “If you believe Las Vegas vice squad detectives-unremarkably, the Nevada court seemed to-he was seen masturbating another man for approximately two minutes in a pornographic move theater last October.

                “‘He essentially got caught up in a raid,’ said Las Vegas Police Sgt. Chris Jones. ‘For a person in his position to be caught doing what he did is very embarrassing s, so he’s displacing blame. For him to suggest he was targeted is ridiculous. He was caught red-handed in Vegas for business when it comes to this stuff.’

                “Rev. Aquino asked his flock for forgiveness Monday night but spent most of his hastily arranged mea culpa blaming others, offering bizarre excuses and professing his innocence to adoring parishioners who accepted his account without question, perhaps because they’re wary of scandal or secretly relieved that no children were involved.

                “I suppose you can’t blame them, but it’s downright weird the way some Catholics continue to during the Kol-Aid and swallow the hypocrisy of the church hierarchy. Why a standing ovation for a priest accused of providing a hand job in a public place, a priest who, despite supporters’ praise for his ‘courage’ in speaking out, only came forward when the story was all over the Internet and about to break in the local press?

                “Rev. Aquino was vacationing in Vegas last fall with his friend, Monsignor Louis P. Permarini, when he told parishioner’s that he ‘wasn’t peculiarly feeling well one day’ and went for a ‘very long’ walk. As it happened, he ended up miles away in a ‘Super Store’ with triple Ks in the window and porn inside. Minutes later, according to Rev. Aquino, he was confronted by two undercover vice squad detectives who, much to his surprise, said he was being detained…”117

                This gets better: Father Aquino is a Chancery Staff member, time-line is more interesting to follow and a criminal charge-not an allegation is posed. He was on the job (ministry) all this time? Father “Sherlock Homes” needs to be resurrected and live, again, in the Worcester Chancery Building. 

October 28, 2005

                The next day, after Williamson’s article, the Catholic Free Press report by Margaret M. Russell on page 3 “Bishop McManus continues to evaluate Father Aquino.”

                Russell writes: “Worcester-Parishioners at Our Day of Loreto Parish learned about an allegation of sexual impropriety against their pastor, Father James J. Aquino, Sunday during a visit form Msgr. Thomas J. Sullivan, diocesan chancellor.

                “Msgr. Sullivan said he celebrated all three weekend Masses. He told parishioners that ‘one year ago an allegation of sexual impropriety was made regarding Father Aquino-in another state.’ He further told parishioners that it was several months before a district attorney in Nevada informed Bishop McManus of the charges and that at that time legal proceedings were already under way in that state.

                “Msgr. Sullivan said in a prepared statement that he would not share the particulars about the allegation but that it ‘does not involve a child or a minor.’

                “Bishop McManus said he gave Father Aquino permission to take to his parish council Monday night about the case (A coupe hundred parishioners is a parish council? I didn’t know one existed at Aquino’s parish.)

                “The bishop said he and Father Aquino had been dealing with the issue confidentially since March when he first learned that Father Aquino had received a citation while vacationing in Las Vegas last year.

                “” ‘I had no intention to make this a cover-up,’ Bishop McManus said in an interview Tuesday. He called the incident ‘a serious personnel issue’ that he will continue to evaluate.

                “To a church full of people Monday night, Father Aquino called the charges ‘false allegations.’ He also denied any wrongdoing to the bishop.

                “‘A legal process began five months before I was informed,’ Bishop McManus said in a letter faxed to diocese priests Tuesday. He said he learned of the allegation in March form the district attorney of Clark County, Nevada.

                “According to court documents posted on various Web sites, a criminal citation was issued to Father Aquino Oct. 21, 2004 charging one count of lewd conduct ‘in a place open to the public’ and a second count of obstructing and providing false information to police ‘in an attempt to hide is identity.’

                But the time the bishop was informed of the charges, the lewd conduct count had been amended to disorderly conduct and Father Aquino had been order to do 50 hours of community service and attend counseling to secure dismissal of the charges, according to the court document.

                “‘The judge expected him to let me know, ‘Bishop McManus said.

                “” ‘Subsequently, that legato process led me to believe (Not guilty till proven innocent?) That a charge had been cited as a misdemeanor and that it was dismissed. From the point at which I became aware of the matter have worked closely with Father Aquino, and I have expressed my concern for his spiritual and physical well-being. I have been addressing this matter pastorally and confidentially,’ he wrote.

                “Question about what allegedly happened in Las Vegas had surface on various Web sites sparking media inquires to the diocese said Raymond L. Delisle, director of communications for the diocese… (Bishop McManus) ‘An allegation of sexual impropriety is a serious matter and has treated it in this fashion. Nevertheless, I have not asked Father Aquino to resign the parish or his diocesan responsibilities,’ the letter-sent to priest- continues…”118 

October 30, 2005

                The Worcester Chancery faxed another letter to the priest of the diocese to keep in rhythm with Russell’s column in the Catholic Free Press of October 28th.

                The faxed letter, dated October 30-Sunday-had the Worcester Chancery cranking it out even on Lord’s Day. The fax machine must have been chugging-away like crazy.

                The letter from Bishop McManus stated: “Dear Father,

                “Today, I celebrated the Masses at Our Lady of Loretto Parish in Worcester and I met with parishioners following each Mass. I did so to express my pastoral concern to all the parishioners of Our Lady of Loreto Parish, and to convey some important new information. This is preciously one of those times when it is important for the bishop to be with  and among his people in what is a time of crisis for the people of the a parish, for me personally, for the diocese, and for Father James Aquino.

                “I am aware that over the past nine days many have had to deal with the painful revelations regarding Father Aquino. I hope you also know that these painful burdens have weighed n me as well, especially since I have tried my very best to discern the truth.

                “You are aware from my previous letter of some of the concerns I’ve had since the District Attorney of Clark County, NV, called me last winder. From early February until a few days ago I believed I was in possession of the truth. A few days ago I realized with deep regret and disappointment that I did not possess the whole truth. The concerns raises in the past two weeks, particularly since last weekend, have been a source of grave scandal for the Church. I cannot tell you or even begin to estimate how many good lay people, priests and deacon have been hurt by these events.

                “I want to tell you that I have now placed Father Aquino on an administrative leave of absence so a canonical investigation to this matter can be conducted. During this canonical process Father Aquino will no longer provide pastoral leadership to the parish, nor is he able to function publicly as a priest. This action is my own decision, made in good faith, and based on additional information that have received. It was not a decision based on pressure from individuals, civil authorities, the parish community or the public.

                “I have asked Father Rocco M. Piccolomini to serve as the temporary administrator of the parish. I will be vigilant to seeking information as to how the parishioners are doing and have promised to return to visit them.

                “I ask that you pray for me. As you pray for me, please be assured that I will be praying for you. In charity I also ask that you pray for Father Aquino. He needs and deserves our prayers so that he can come through this difficult time in his own life and find peace. Sincerely yours in Christ…October 30, 2005.”119 

October 31, 2005

                Father Richard P. McBrien in his weekly column “Essay in Theology” writes “The Vatican and Gays.”

                McBride states: “It is always a risk for a once-a-week columnist, writing two or three weeks in advance of publication to comment on a still-developing story. In this case, the story concerns the apostolic visitation U.S. seminaries, which is already underway.

                “Grace Concerns were being expressed a dew weeks ago about the goals of this visitation, and specifically whether there would be a papal mandate and expel gay seminarians and to profit their admission to seminaries, whether sexually active or not.

                “In a column prepared for publication three weeks ago, I cited an interview published in the National Catholic Register in which Archbishop Edwin O’Brien, coordinator of the apostolic visitation, seemed to imply that gays are not welcome in seminaries, even those who have been chaste for ten years or more.

                “Andrew Sullivan, a columnist for Time magazine and openly gay Catholic laymen, mounted one of the sharpest criticisms of this initiative, point at that gays would not be excluded form seminaries and the priesthood because of their behavior but because of their very identity as homosexuals.

                “Sullivan cited a 1986 ruling by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, headed at the time by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, repudiating such thinking as ‘unfounded and deeming.’

                “If the pope were to approve a policy prohibiting gay’s form entering seminaries and being ordained to the priesthood, regardless of their moral behavior, it would be, Sullivan argued, the worst form of discrimination.

                “I also warned in my earlier column that any full-scale campaign against gays in seminaries and the priesthood could very well provoke a backlash among gay clergy, leading to the ‘outing’ of closeted gay priests and bishops who were perceived as aiding and abetting the anti-gay campaign. The resulting embarrassment to the Church, its priesthood, and the hierarch itself would be incalculable.

                It may have been this fear that has brought about a standing-down of this campaign. Early last month, John Allen, Rome corresponded for the National Catholic Reporter, disclosed, on the basis of assurances from a high-ranking curial official, that the Vatican document on homosexuals would not, in fact require an absolute ban. It will insist only that seminary officials exercise ‘prudential judgment’ in the matter.

                “According to this source, the Vatican is concerned about three categories of candidates for admission to seminaries. First, Gays who have not demonstrated a capacity to live chaste lives for at least three years. (Archbishop O’Brien reported standard of 10 years or more was far stricter.)

                “Second, homosexual candidates who are part of a ‘gay culture.’ By way of example, this would include attendance at gay pride rallies.

                “Third, candidates whose homosexual orientation is sufficiently ‘strong, permanent and univocal’ as to make the all-male environment of a seminary too much of a risk.

                “But even with these three negative criteria, it would not necessarily follow that gay candidates would be denied admission to seminaries or be expelled once the are in. Seminary officials would still have the right and the responsibility to exercise their own ‘prudential judge met.’ There would be no rigid litmus test…”120

                What gets interesting in doing research at times is how there is such a limited source of information able to be obtained with the Catholic Church issue of Rome and the local diocese. The know how to be “tight-as-a-clam.” 

November 1, 2005

                “Rev. Aquino put on leave: Bishop McManus says alleged act ‘grave scandal’” appeared on the front page of this day’s Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Kathleen A. Shaw wrote: “Worcester-The Rev. James J. Aquino, who was arrested by Las Vegas vice squad officers a year ago while allegedly performing a lewd act in an adult store, has been removed from his positions pastor of Our Lady of Loreto parish and as director of the Office of the Deaconate.

                “Bishop Robert J. McManus said information brought to his attention in the past week about the alleged lewd conduct by Rev. Aquino led to his action, which incites barring the reverend fro publicly functioning as a priest.

                “‘From early February until a few days ago, I believed I was in possession of the truth. A few days ago, I realized with deep regret and disappointment that I did to possess the whole truth,’ the bishop said in a prepared statement announcing that the priest has been place on administrative leave. He added that the situation has caused ‘great scandal’ for the church.

                “Eight other priests in the Diocese of Worcester have been relieved of their duties after allegations of sexual misconduct since 2002. His actions involving Rev. Aquino mark the first time Bishop McManus who assumed the bishop’s post I 2004, has had to deal with such an issue.

                “‘I cannot tell you how many good lay people; priests and deacons have been hurt by these events. That’s the nature of scandal in the church. From the calls and communication I have received this week, I know that many are disappointed. They’ve been taught to expect better,’ the bishop said.

                “The recent string of events has shocked parishioners and those who know Rev. Aquino…

                “The case was dismissed in the Justice Court in Las Vegas on Sept. 6, after Rev. Aquino pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct at the adult store, did 50 hours of community service, underwent counseling and agreed to stay out of trouble for a year.

                “He initially was issued a criminal citation for lewd conduct and giving false information to police. According to the arrest report, Rev. Aquino said he did not have an ID on him and gave a Social Security number that proved to be incorrect. Under further questioning by police, he pulled out a Massachusetts driver’s license form his shoe. The photograph showed him wearing clerical garb. He told p9lice that he did to give correct information because he is a priest.

                “Police offers said they saw Rev. Aquino in the Adult Super Store in full public view masturbating another man for about 30 minutes, police said. That man was also detained and cited…”121

                The media addresses priest by this title "Rev." where the Church uses ‘Father’ for when addressing their priest. This is even done by the media when an official statement or document is released by Catholic Church.  

November 2, 2005

                I had to get a dose of “Father Peacock” this day telling me that there was an ‘undeclared civil war” in the Church that will destroy itself. He said to me that the only failure in all of this was that I was able to have the chance of Bishop Harrington’s testimony in court and especially cross-examination concerning my case. Where was he going with his sudden outburst and switching of character.

                “Father Peacock” even switched his perspective of Bishop McManus in a positive light. It was all about his setting-up for his “40th.” He spoke last years how he wasn’t going to have one. But, now there was this shifting. I should recall that last year he was in a “sickness’ mode but now he was “healed.” Then he was turning into his “If I was bishop…” He then said that what I and Bagley “did” was not as making him angry as with Aquino in Las Vegas. What was being realized that the Aquino story had kicked the front door in of the Worcester Chancery Building. It was the “double talk” and two standards of regular priest and the chancery priest (Rueger and Aquino).

                What came to min how “Father Peacock” told me in January that Bishop McManus said the he was going to defend his priest at the local deanery. The way “Father Peacock” was relating this to me as though he had concern about being allegated himself.

                I noticed in my working on my book that by this time it was getting so thick that I would get a hernia lifting is off the floor. I noticed that in my writing of late that I was visiting the past and analyzing it upfront about being upfront.

                Kathleen A. Shaw had another follow-up article “McManus knew earlier of charges against priest” Nevada DA sent bishop police on Aquino” in these days Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Shaw wrote: “David Roger, district attorney of Clark County, Nev., said yesterday that he notified Bishop Robert J. McManus in February of the scope of the criminal charges lodged against the Rev. James J. Aquino of Worcester, and provided the bishop with copies of the citation and police report.

                “Mr. Roger’s account of when the bishop was made aware of details that led to charges against Rev. Aquino appears to differ from recent statements by the bishop concerning the situation. Attempts to reach Bishop McManus and Raymond L. Delisle, spokesman of the bishop and the Catholic Diocese of Worcester, for comment yesterday were unsuccessful.

                “On Monday, the bishop said his decision to remove Rev. Aquino form his pastorate at Our Lady of Loreto Parish last weekend was based on new information he received in the past week.

                “‘From early February until a few days ago I believed I was in possession of the truth. A few days ago, I realized with deep regret and disappointment that I did not possess the whole truth,’ he said.

                “Issues surrounding the diocese’s handling of allegations against Rev. Aquino came to light when copies of the citation, police report and court records were posted Oct. 21 on an Internet Web site. Four days later, Rev. Aquino addressed parishioners at Our Lady of Loreto and denied that he had been involved in sexual misconduct.

                “The bishop indicated in previous statements to the Telegram I Gazette and to Daniel E. Dice, victim support coordinator for Worcester Voice of the Faithful, an independent lay Catholic organization, that he saw no reason to remove Rev. Aquino form the ministry because the priest’ lawyer had assured him the allegations were false and would be dismissed. (Different treatment for different priest?)

                “The lawyer later told the bishop that the case had been dismissed. The original case was dismissed, but court records show that Rev. Aquino entered a guilty plea to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct and was required to fulfill certain obligations.

                “According to the materials faxed to Bishop McManus by the Ls Vegas district attorney, Rev. Aquino was issued a criminal citation on Oct. 21, 2004, by vice squad police officers after he was seen  masturbating another man inside the Adult Supper Store in that city. He was initially charge with lewd contact and giving false information, because he gave police officers an incorrect Social Security number, the report said. It also said that he indicated under questioning by police and after pulling his Massachusetts driver’s license from his shoe that he gave wrong information because he was a priest.

                “Las Vegas court records show that Rev. Aquino was arraigned on Dec. 16 but was not required to be present. No bail was set and the case was continued first to Feb. 10, then to March 10.

                “At the March session, a written guilty plea was entered in open court for Rev. Aquino, who was not present, to the disorderly conduct charge. He agreed to do 50 hours of community service, obtain counseling service and stay out of further trouble. After those conditions were met, the case was dismissed on Sept. 6.

                “Bishop McManus said he first learned of the incident involving Rev. Aquino in February from the district attorney and church officials. He said he was under the impression charges would be reduced or possibly dismissed.

                “Mr. Roger said when the case came to his office, he contacted Bishop Joseph A. Peep of Las Vegas and spoke with a diocesan lawyer. ‘We have a good working relationship with the diocese here,’ he said.

                “The information was then relayed by the Catholic Diocese of Las Vegas to the Worcester Diocese. ‘I told them what happened,’ the district attorney said of his call to the Las Vegas Diocese. The district attorney said he couldn’t recall if he called the Worcester bishop or if the Worcester bishop called him, but said that they did talk in early February.

                “‘He asked me for the citation and records and I sad yes,’ Mr. Roger said. The records were faxed to the bishop, he said…”122 

November 3, 2005

                Dianne Williamson comes on board with here column of this day “The more things change: Bishop still put image ahead of ‘whole truth.’ “ in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Williamson writes: “Nine days ago, the lawyer for the Rev. James J. Aquino took to the pulpit at Our Lady of Loreto Church-in itself, a rather extraordinary scenario-and told hundreds of parishioners that their bishop was satisfied with the disposition of his client’s criminal case…

                “ ‘But that has now changed,’ he said. Suddenly, the bishop believes that the Aquino case is ‘a source of grave scandal’ for the church.

                “Help me out here. I understand that Bishop McManus is no Bob Woodward, but the case against Rev. Aquino was as straightforward as it comes. According to Las Vegas police, the longtime priest was seen masturbating another man in an adult orientated store in October 2004. He was cited for lewd conduct. He pleaded guilty to a lesser charge and was ordered to perform community service. One Sept. 6, the case was dismissed.

                “The only thing ‘that has now changed’ is that the story broke and the diocese could no longer cover up the incident-which only shows that nothing has changed in a church that has once again failed to honestly face its demons…

                “Still, the bishop indicated to parishioners Sunday that he relied on Rev. Aquino’ lawyer for information, even though he apparently had easy access to Las Vegas authorities. I know the media did; a spokesman for the Las Vegas police told me last week that the priest ‘essentially got caught up in a raid’ after he paid $8 to enter an adult store and was spotted by two squad detectives masturbating another man…

                “Has he? How? What new facts have come to his (Bishop McManus) attention? What is his perceptive of events so drastically altered? If he didn’t have an adequate grasp of the case, why didn’t he” If he did, why the failure to act sooner?

                “Efforts to put these questions to Bishop McManus have been unsuccessful, despite requests for interviews through his spokesman, Raymond Delisle, and his secretary, the Rev. Rocco Piccolomini, who yesterday said the bishop ‘has commitments out of state’ and could not be reached…

                “ ‘From the calls and communications I have received this week I know that many are disappointed,’ Bishop McManus said on Sunday. ‘They’ve been taught to expect better.’

                “Really? So far in the Aquino case, diocesan officials have lied, denied, mishandled, covered-up, blamed clergy haters, issued shallow apologies, offered lame excuses, and finally realized the gravity of the scandal only after they could no longer contain it.

                “Sadly, I’d say this is exactly what people have been taught to expect form the Catholic Church.”123

                Did Father Aquino have some pertinent scandalous information-dirt- on certain priests of the Worcester Diocese that was going to be revealed? Just wondering.

                The Worcester Voice (Mrs. Jean) on the Internet Web page posted this day: “Worcester Telegram columnist challenges Bishop McManus to admit the dioceses failure in the Fr. James Aquino Case- Worcester Voice:

 Columnist Diane (spelling) Williamson, for the second Thursday in a row, has written the unholy truth. In her column today, her presentation reflects what many Catholic’s have been speaking of in the background.

                “Ms. Williamson recalls, So far in the Aquino case, diocesan officials have lied, denied, mishandled, covered up, blamed clergy haters, issued shallow apologies, offered lame excuses, and finally realized the gravity of the scandal only after they could no long contain it.

                “So where is Bishop Robert McManus? Last week during this crisis, he was not available many days. Bishop McManus did however have time for two interviews with Worcester Channel TV 3, one Friday October 28, 2005 and then against Monday October 31, 2005, after he had removed Fr. Aquino. Worcester Channel TV 3 has a very limited news area. Bishop McManus did grant one other interview, to The Catholic Free Press editor in chief, Margaret M. Russell according to her article.

                “For all others who fail to over look the ‘spin’, Worcester Diocese's spokesman, Raymond Delisle, repeatedly has stonewalled and given very little information. As in last week when Fr. Aquino, and his lawyer stood on the alter (spelling), only later to be shown to be untruthful. The only comment from the Worcester diocese was ‘the bishop is taking this matter seriously’. (Grammar?)

                “The ‘Voice’ had delivered a letter to the Chancellery (Spelling) for Bishop McManus on Friday, October 28, 2005. No reply as of yet. A phone call was place to Msgr. Thomas J. Sullivan, diocesan chancellor on Friday October 21, 2005, no return call. E-mails were sent to on Friday October 21, 2005, to Mr. Raymond Delisle, still no rely.

                “The real question for Bishop McManus is, you received the criminal citation, and the arrest report form the Las Vegas District Attorney in February, you were contacted by Bishop Joseph A. Pepe of Las Vegas diocese as will. Yet on Sunday you stated new information came to light last week that caused you to remove Fr Aquino”

                “What information...”124

                It is difficult reading this web page. 

November 9, 2005

                I noticed that I was going to change my language of the Diocese of Worcester ‘gay group” by using the phrase “the element.” There was the element of what was known in literature of “gay culture.” It is something that seems to be all over the printed media of late. But, parishioners that I speak with do not mention a syllable or anything.

                I recall how a classmate living in Boston told me when he was called into the Chancery for re-assignment how Bishop Harrington told him that if he ever told the truth about how things really were, we wouldn’t have a new vocation (priest) in the diocese. There were times that one has to separate the Church from one’s faith. 

November 11, 2005

                I recall reading “There are no facts, only interpretations.” (Frederick Nietzsche, 1844-1900) When one reads and hears the latest on Church related issues and otherwise, there is more to the story. The bloggers are a new area of media information. They are going neck-and-neck with talk-radio jocks.

                I was thinking of writing a “novel” which would put a style of fiction in comparison of writing this work.  The novel would be an opportunity to express some injustices in a climate of resurging clericalism in a hierarchical power surge. The first novel should be “Rectory Life.” This would be about the life style of the priest living in an atmosphere of resurging clericalism maintained in the lifestyle of the ‘80s. Another book would follow: “The Country Parish.” It would be about the laity  where issue are all black and white, answers to questions not even asked in an atmosphere of the Super Shell Gas Station. The culture of individualization (me-me) that personifies egotistical endeavors with personalities of “P18s.” 

November 12, 2005

                Bishop McManus released a “Statement of Bishop McManus” which read in part: “Since the past October 22nd, I have been publicly addressing the disturbing reports f sexual misconduct by Father James Aquino, the pastor of Our Lady of Loreto Parish I Worcester, which took place at an adult entertainment store in Las Vegas, Nevada year ago. I have done so truthful. For some people, however the issues surrounding the matter, as well as my public response, have been unclear.

                “Father Aquino was charged with lewd conduct in Las Vegas on October 21, 2004, while he was on vacation, not engaged in conduct as a priest. I was not informed of this charge until February of 2005. At that time I was given a copy of a ‘redacted’ police report of the incident by the District Attorney in Las Vegas. Due to privacy constraints, this report did not contain the name of the other individual allegedly involved in the incident. (What did that matter?) When I inquired of Father Aquino and his attorney about the incident they insisted that the police report was inaccurate and the incident was overblown. I was also told that the charges would be reduced and the case dismissed…

                “Shortly before I spoke at the parish I received an unpredicted copy of the initial police report, which included the name of the individual alleged to have been involved in sexual activity with Father Aquino. The police report I had been given in February did to include that full name. (What different did the name mean?)

                “Second, I learned of the admission of sexual activity by the other consenting adult, when it was reported on NECN_TV.

                Third, I learned that an additional Las Vegas law enforcement official publicly supported the finds of the initial police report.

                “Finally, I was troubled by the manner, as reported in the press, by which Father Aquino denied the allegations at the public meeting he called. I was also disturbed by inappropriate statements made against the investigating police officials in Las Vegas, and strongly expressed my appreciation for law enforcement officials in my homely to the parishioners. Following the meeting I reconsidered the fact of the case and the previous explanations given to me since last February…

                “In this entire matter there was no attempt to impede justice. No documents were concealed. At no time did I ask the District Attorney to intervene to the benefits of Father Aquino. The counseling and community requirements were a matter of record in a public curt. The case was adjudicated publicly. The civil authorities made the decision not to seek a criminal conviction in the case…

                “Some have asked if I made a mistake when I left Father Aquino in ministry until recently. In recent weeks, I have asked myself this same question. My decision was largely based on Father Aquino’s explanation to me, as well as those of his attorney. While I may have been misled by their explanations, I also had to recognize that every priest has civil and canonical rights; rights granted to each citizen and/or member of the Church. These rights must be observed.

                “In recent weeks, and prior to the news article in the print media, I told the people of Our Lady of Loreto Parish that I had dealt with the matter confidentially, to protect a person’s reputation while investigating an allegation against that individual. I also told them that I had been ministering to Father Aquino in a manner which was personal, compassionate, and pastoral. I believe there are times when a bishop, or any clergyman for that matter, may in good conscience treat a serious matter confidentially. In this case, however, when it became clear that the local media was about to release the story to the general public I realized that I must address the matter in a pastoral way to the people. I realized I could no longer treat the matter in confidence. I have pledged my concern for the welfare of the parishioners to the members of the parish, and I have remised to visit them again. I would do so.”125

                I had to find the meaning of the word in his statement “‘redacted’ police report.” Redact is defined in the dictionary as: To write out or to draw up (a proclamation, edict, etc.) frame. So, it gets even more interesting with each additional statement or explanation.

                Why is it when read or hear such things about the Church is that I wonder where the string is attached too around the corner. Besides, I was realizing that the “inner element” of the diocese had polished their act as it did show itself with Aquino’s case. We should not forget that they had a lot of practice. 

November 12, 2005

                I was watching “Survivor” on CBS that had this segment in Guatemala. The key to everything you see one is told is “the game.” In this particular program, we hear Stephanie-second time on the program- saying she’ll do whatever she’s got to do to win. Another part you hear that liars are going to be your jury. I had that thought of hearing how at the end of a council vote, the one voted out bring his/her torch pole up to the host who says which would be me with the tribe-Worcester Diocese: “Thaddeus, the tribe has spoken.”

                Whenever I watched this program, I realized how much I had as a core of my being empathically with others more than I realized.  

November 15, 2005

                “Bishop denies sex cover-up: McManus’ answers in print,” by Kathleen A. Shaw appeared this day in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Shaw writes: “Worcester-Bishop Robert J. McManus maintains he never attempted to cover up an incident of lewd conduct involving the Rev. James J. Aquino in Las Vegas, but was led to believe the charges brought by police were inaccurate and the case would be dismissed.

                “That belief changed in late October, he said, when news of the incident became public, police and court documents from Las Vegas were posted on a Web site, and Rev. Aquino stood on the altar of Our Lady of Loreto parish to relate his account, saying the bishop had asked him to remain quiet about the incident.

                “The bishop’s response was in a column he writes for the Diocese of Worcester newspaper, The Catholic Free Press, on Nov 11. He had not responded to e-mails, faxes and phone requests for clarification placed over the past 10 days on what new information he had received late last month that prompted him to reverse his earlier position and remove Rev. Aquino from active ministry…

                “Bishop McManus said that although Rev. Aquino originally was charged more than a year ago, he did not learn of the incident until February….Apparently the only redacted portion of the police report forwarded to the bishop was the name of the other man involved in the incident.

                “Rev. Aquino had said that he wasn’t involved in sexual activity when he was detained by Las Vegas vice squad officers the pervious year I the Adult Superstar, but did acknowledge some wrongdoing. Bishop McManus said he ‘learned of the admission of sexual activity by the other consenting adult’ when it was reported in the news medial

                “IN addition, he said, ‘I learned that an additional Las Vegas law enforcement official publicly supported the finding of the initial police report,’ he said…

                “Bishop McManus said he was ‘very disheartened’ by the incident I Las Vegas. ‘Notwithstanding the immoral character of the incident and his wrongful presence in an adult entertainment store, I am mindful that this case is different form that of a priest abusing his office when another person know that he is a priest, particularly since this incident involved a consenting adult,’ he said.”126 This is an interesting slant to where the present hierarchy is heading with such a case as Aquino in matters of distinction.

                Dianne Williamson wrote in her column of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette “Bishop refines his case: Skepticism remains on Rev. Aquino story.”

                Williamson wrote” “Bishop Robert J. McManus had decided to bypass the secular skeptics and preach to the converted.

                “After more than two weeks of silence to lingering questions about the Rev. James Aquino case, he opted to respond to the 17,000 subscribers of The Catholic Free Press, the diocesan newspaper in which he writes an occasional column under his trademark motto, 'Christ, The Splendor of Truth.’

                “In doing so, the bishop relieved himself of the burden of answering questions about inconsistencies which is surely his prerogative and no great surprise, as the church hierarchy rarely considers itself answerable to the populace.

                “Specifically, reporters have been calling Bishop McManus repeatedly in an effort to understand why he initially supported the Rev. Aquino after the priest was charged with lewd conduct last year. In Las Vegas, then suddenly relieved him of his duties him of his duties last month after the issue broke in the press.

                “OK, so damage control is hardly rocket science, and it seemed apparent that the bishop responded to the scandal after he could no longer contain it. Except that’s not what the bishop said when he removed Rev. Aquino Oct. 30. Then, Bishop McManus claimed that ‘I did not possess the whole truth’ about the incident until recently, even though he learned about Rev. Aquino’s conduct in February…

                “Pesky repo9rters-as well as many in the public-were confused. What had changed? What new facts had come to the bishop’s attention?

                “Finally, we know. Well, we sort of know. Actually, we’re still not quite sure, but let’s hear what the bishop has to say. In fairness to him, I won’t paraphrase his main points and instead quote him directly: ‘Shortly before I spoke at the parish I received an unpredicted copy of the initial police report, which included the name of the individual in sexual activity with Father Aquino,’ the bishop wrote in the Free Press…

                “It’s not clear why the name of the man alleged to have engaged in sex with the priest was pertinent to the bishop’s understanding. As for the ‘additional Las Vegas law enforcement official,’ I believe he was referring to a Las Vegas police sergeant I interviewed by picking up the phone and calling him. This cop simply explained that Rev. Aquino had been caught in a raid, and he scoffed at his protestations of innocence…

                “So be it. I don’t mean to pile on, but I figure that the bishop’s explanation deserved a bigger audience than the one provided by the diocesan newspapers. And I’ll simply note here that if the Free Press clams ‘the truth shall set you free,’ it can also tie you up in knots.”127

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette had a copy of “Ziggy” by Tom Wilson that had Ziggy sitting at a table with a coffee and writing in a booklet saying “…anyone who doesn’t believe that history repeats itself…has never  read my diary!”128

                This is where I write my book-journal and even develop fiction works in the future as “The Confessions of a Parish Secretary: She types with two fingers.” 

November 18, 2005

                The Catholic Free Press printed in their “Letters to the Editor” section entitled “Teaching by example” from Joseph A. Ledoux of Spencer.

                Ledoux wrote: “To the Editor: One has only to attend an ordination to understand that the priesthood is precious, and a priest, being a man of God, must always give a good example. He is being watched closely by the public and is expected to radiant goodness in his quest to save souls.

                “Priests who are seen in bars, gambling at casinos, attending me and R rated movies or plays, trying to be one of the boys by telling off-color jokes and being lenient on sin give horrible example to parishioners and especially to our youth. Thank God such priests are a small minority.

                “Las Vegas, with a reputation as ‘Sin City’ and other gambling emporiums are certainly not where God’s graces are to be found and should not be frequented by spiritual people especially priests.

                “Catholic parishes advertising Las Vegas Night and gambling in a general to raise money remind me of Jesus’ anger when he overturned the money brokers table in the temple.

                “We are most fortunate to having Bishop McManus as our shepherd. He is leading his flock of priests, deacons, religious, and laity to live a more spiritual life in Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”129 

November 27, 2005

                The “People’s Forum” of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette had letters entitled “Scandal involving Catholic priest spurs reader’s reactions” this day. The letter I mention here is from David Clohessy, National Director Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, St. Louis, Mo. 

                Closhessy writes: “For years, when finally confronted with evidence of sexually abusive priests, Catholic bishops lamely responded, ‘We just didn’t know.’ Now when forced by concerned parishioners and conscientious journalist, Bishop Robert J. McManus falls back on the same disingenuous journalist, Bishop Robert J. McManus falls back on the same disingenuous claim, this time about Rev. James J. Aquino’s crimes in Las Vegas. The bishop asserts he didn’t know the ‘full truth’ about Rev. Aquino’s activities in an adult bookstore.

                “The trouble is Bishop McManus’ claim is contradicted by an impeccable source-the Nevada prosecutor who directly informed the bishop about Rev. Aquino crime months and months ago.

                “Worcester Catholic should ask themselves whom they trust. A public servant with no ax to grind, no agenda to serve and no reason to shade the truth-or Bishop McManus, with every incentive to deceive and try to minimize his  irresponsible and reckless misbehavior, who hide a criminal charge against Rev. Aquino and kept him in parish ministry for nearly a year?”130 

November 23, 2005

                I was “just thinking” which is not always good” Where do I go to get my reputation back? Once it is said, it is a fact-true or not true.

                Now we get a dose of Mrs. Jean on the Web page “” which begins with “Worcester Faithful saddened with reality actions by Bishop McManus.”

                It continues- I type as is written: “The continued backlash from the Fr James Aquino scenario continues to grow. Catholics who are and have been faithful to Worcester Bishops have now no room for accommodations. The sad reality that protection of the clergy, and reputation of the Worcester Diocese comes before what is known to be wrong and inexcusable actions have deluded any chance for reunification of the dioceses.

                “Some faithful have questioned the ability of Bishop Robert McManus to run the dioceses of Worcester, while others have sought his removal.

                “The sad reality of Worcester dioceses remains as such. The Worcester diocese has paid the lowest clergy abuse settlements in the nation. Clergy abuse victims who the Worcester diocese publicly states were treated with dignity and respect, report being terrorized by Attorney Joanne Goulka of the law office of Griffin and Goulka who represents Traveler Insurance Company.

                “Ten time as much money was paid in legal fees by the Worcester dioceses since the  2002 clergy abuse crisis, to Attorney James G. Reardon of Reardon and Reardon law firm than paid out to clergy abuse victims. The average amount of settlements was between $3,000 and 5,000 dollars. As those who have followed these cases realize, this amounts hardly pays for the legal fees associated with tiling a lawsuit.

                “District Attorney John Conte and his so called ‘Grand Jury’ subpoena resulted in not one prosecution of Worcester dioceses clergy for sexual abuse of a minor.

                “In the case of Fr Raymond Messier, the Department of Social Service found creditable evidence of sexual abuse of a young male Athol resident only to have a Worcester grand jury under direction of John Conte return a no bill and no charge Fr Messier with sexual assault. As the district attorney is charged with producing the evidence to gain an indictment, the prosecution failure against illustrates collusion between the dioceses and the DA.

                “The Worcester Voice bevies that at no time did nay real investigation occur into the Worcester dioceses as on numerous occasions the ‘Voice’ was able to illustrate the collusion between the dioceses and the DA…

                “Most notable, in 2002 when clergy abuse victim Tim Staney was confronted like a criminal in his own home by two Auburn C-Pac state troopers, who claimed the Worcester diocese, released a document to investigators stating Mr. Staney at the age of ten had tried to extort money out of the Worcester diocese while reporting sexual abuse.

                “DA Conte later in 2004 brought charges against Rev. Jean-Paul Gagnon involving three different male victims who claimed to be sexual abuse. In the end Attorney Edward Ryan was able to plea bargain criminal charges down, so that the sexual abuse charges were reduced to simple assault, allowing Fr Gagnon to avoid having to register as a sex offender.

                “The reality in Worcester is currently, no child is sage and perhaps in more peril than ever as we can see the Worcester diocese has fine tuned it protection tactics which continue to allow sexual actions to remain covered-up.”131

                As I began this November 23 section, the grammar that spelling are typed as written on the web page. One may figure their own on the thought contents.

                This days Worcester Telegram & Gazette reported “Vatican gay guidelines for seminaries” by Nicole Winfield of The Associated Press reports: “Vatican City-the Vatican is toughening its stands against gay candidates for the priesthood, specifying in a new document that ever men with ‘transitory’ homosexual tendencies must overcome their urges for at least three years before entering the clergy.

                “Along-awaited ‘Instruction,’ due to be released next week, was posted yesterday on the Internet by the Italian Catholic news agency Adista. A church official who has read the document confirmed its authenticity; he asked that his name not be used because the piece has not been published by the Vatican.

                “Conservative Roman Catholics who have decried the’ gay subculture’ in seminaries will likely applaud the policy because it clarifies what the Vatican expects of seminarians and their administrators.

                “Critics of the policy warned that, if enforced, it will likely result in seminarians lying about their orientation and will decrease the already dwindling number of priests in the United States.

                “Estimate of the percentage of gays in W.S. seminaries and the priesthood range form 25 percent to 50 percent, according to a research review by the Rev. Donald Cozzens, an author of “The Changing Face of the Priesthood.’

                “‘The document form the Vatican’s Congregation for Catholic Education says the church deeply respects homosexuals. But it also says it’ cannot admit to the seminary and the sacred order those who practice homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies or support so-called gay culture.’…”132 

November 18, 2005

                The National Catholic Reporter reported in this week’s issue “Suspended priest sues accuser.” The story reads: “Miami-A Catholic priest suspended by the Miami archdiocese because of sexual abuse allegations filed a defamation lawsuit against one of his accusers, The Miami Herald reported Nov. 4 .Fr. Avlanro Guichard said the accuser, a Cuban who came to Miami during the 1980 Mariel boatlift, made ‘defamatory lies’ at a news conference tow years ago in his lawyer’s office.

                “In the lawsuit filed in 2003, the Cuban alleged that while he was a teen living temporarily at a church shelter, Guichard promised him a car and a job in exchange for sex.

                “In the last two years, the Miami archdiocese has settled 31 law shits alleging sexual abuse by priests. According to media reports, five of the cases involved Guichard, who has been on administration leave since 2003.”133 

November 24, 2005

                “Vatican decree gets mixed reactions: Some see rise in priest ovation, others see it prompting a decline” by Richard N. Ostling of The Associated Press reports in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

                Ostling writes: “A new Vatican decree against gays in the priesthood has brought mixed reactions from U.S. Roman Catholic observers, with some seeing notable benefits and others predicting morale problems and a worsening clergy shortage…

                “Some observers said it will be difficult to define what is meant by ‘deeply rooted’ or ‘transitory’ tendencies…

                “‘Our seminaries are likely to be depopulated to a significant extent,’ said the Rev. Donald Cozzens of John Carroll University. He cited estimates that put gay priests at 25 percent to 50 percent; Lauer guessed that 10 percent is closer to the mark.

                “Cozzens also warned that ‘the hunters might turn out to be the hunted,’ meaning that there are gay priests among Vatican officials, bishops and other church leaders.

                “But Brian Saint-_ail of Crisis magazine predicted little effect on the number of priests because seminaries and younger priests have become much more conservative the past two decades and moral liberalism is declining. ‘The next generation is passing.’

                “The Rev. Richard John Neuhaus, of First Things magazine, said there is reason to believe that the decree will lead to a significant increases in candidates, because many would-be priests have been turned off by ‘the presence, and sometimes dominance , of a gay culture’ in seminaries.

                “He said the Vatican is basically reaffirming centuries of church teaching Jason Berry, a journalist who has covered sexual abuse scandals involving priests since 1984, said the Vatican action was clearly prompted by the crisis and by the fact that most U.S. cases have involved priests and teenage boys.

                “ ‘The priesthood is a huge closet. We all know that form the research that ‘been done.’ He said that the Vatican is avoiding the central question: ‘Why can’t the priesthood attract stable heterosexuals? The answer, he said is the ban on married men as priests.”134 

November 25, 2005

                “Poll: Bishops’ image improving” appeared in these weeks National Catholic Reporter.

                It read: “Washington-Anew Zogby International poll shows support for American Catholic bishops is rebounding. Sixty-four percent of American Catholics polled agreed that the bishops are doing a good job. The approval rate was at its highest, at 83 percent, in fall 2001, just before the clergy sex aubse scandal emerged. Approval for bishops dropped to its lowest-57 percent-in fall 2004.

                “The sex abuse scandal was just a big shock to people,’ said Mary MacDonald, a religious studies processor working on the Contemporary Catholic Trends survey at Le Moyne College, a Catholic school in Syracuse, H.Y.’ that commissioned the survey. ‘Now people perhaps feel some corrective actions have been taken and things are a little better.’

                “Other findings: Eighty-nine percent of American Catholics think their local pastor is doing a good job, and 75 percent think Benedict XVI is doing a good job.

                “The college and the polling organization have worked together on the project since fall 2001.”135

                One thing I do know: Polls mean nothing. The present climate in the Vatican and the Bush Administration in Washington are not affected by polls or surveys.

                The “People’s Forum” had “Church stand on sexual matters antiquated” from Edward Harley of Worcester in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette this day.

                Halfrey wrote: “I can’t understand the Catholic Church’s stance on homosexuals. I was a good Catholic and believed the church had all the answers, and then the diocese scandal happened and you find out that the people you trusted were full of duplicity and lies. It almost seems in retaliation to this scandal that the church, which was responsible for this atrocity, is launching an all-out intolerance campaign against the very people they were once protecting form prosecuting to draw the hest away from their wrongdoings.

                “The church’s stand on homosexuals, birth control and other related subjects are so antiquated that they boarder on the line of a modern-day witch hunt. Is the Vatican going to launch another inquisition, or will it just threaten all who oppose their ideals with excommunication’

                “There was something told to me by someone-I can no longer remember his or her name-‘Those that remain static and refuse to grow and learn stagnate and idle.’ I am among a growing throng of disillusioned parishioners who cannot seem to understand the church’s petty and hateful point of view. I thought God was love, not I hate homosexuals.’

                “I wish the church would just stop trying to persecute this group of people who are even among their own flocks.

                “Live and love is good words to live by, something the church needs to remember.”136 

November 27, 2005

                I received a letter from a former parishioner-Margaret- who wrote: “Fear Fr. Kardas, It was nice to visit you on Friday. I really admire you for your ability to hold it together during the years you were asked to leave St. Edward’s. You must pray constantly…!”137

                Yes, I do believe that prayer is a constant way of life and wonder time-in-time-out: What type of behavior would Jesus do? “Who will condemn” Christ Jesus it is who died-or, rather, was raised- who also is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.” (Romans 8: 33-34) 

November 28, 2005

                I took a ride with “Father Peacock” this morning to the Trappist Monastery in Spencer because he needed to get some vestments.

                When I got into his car he told me that I have to read the latest article-this day- in the Telegram & gazette on priests that are alleged. He said” You have to be aware of this article. I asked him what he meant. He said there that it was more about what has been going on for some time. My reaction was: “I’m waiting for something like this to happen. This is what I need to get my story out-my version as Aquino did.” Aquino’s case was criminal with another criminal charge of false information to the police versus my case of allegation. So, I would welcome a hearing on my situation.

                Then I had to hear from him-after a typical “jolt” on his part that when you were on “active duty” term. This was his way to put me in my place. He told me that he never heard anything about Father Shauris with boys. (Lie) I responded that even the village idiot knew about Shauris’ particulars in the diocese. He asked what? The (Choir and Band) Coral. He reacted with that Shauris had “The Coral” in his parish to do performances and didn’t see any high school boys. (Lie) He was seeing what I would say next because he knew that I knew when Sharers allegations became public it was with boys in his room at the rectory where “Father Peacock” was Pastor. So, “Father Peacock knows nothing and sees nothing. He goes at me again: “since you were off-duty’ in a sarcastic remark and continues talking about the diocese.

                “Father Peacock” plays his game to see what I would say next for an other information I only stared at him with “the look” that I was not going to play his “intrigue” game. It’s where the analogy is where you say in the evening you sail into a safe harbor. But, the next morning, you don’t know where the minefields are because the enemy has moved them again during the night.  You don’t even know the name of the game clerics play or the state of a situation until you encounter the moment. But, stories are so old that they are turning into stone.

                When I was leaving the car, “Father Peacock” tell me: “Don’t be against the bishop, Ted.” What was that all about? It is as the situation in the diocese and the present Administration in Washington with “W” where one doesn’t know where truth ends and fantasies begin. I had to remember that “Father Peacock” kept reminding me of the previous January Deanery meeting where Bishop McManus said that he was going to defend his priest. It seems that Bishop McManus was a bishop that makes him comfortable. Birds of a feather, fly together? It seemed that Bishop Reilly and Harrington did not make him comfortable.  Nor, did he ever say to me: “Be careful what you say about the bishop, Ted” when Harrington and Reilly were the Ordinaries. There is the issue where “Father Peacock” was hoping to become that “Monsignor” with this new bishop. He, most likely, was positioning himself, again, for such an honor.

                I had to hear from “Father Peacock” that one other priest on Administrative Leave met with Bishop McManus of help in his “rent” allotment. He received nothing and said that McManus is cheaper than Reilly.  So, I had to hear from “Father Peacock”: “You get the little cash, so be grateful.” He does know how to torment.

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette prints Kathleen A. Shaw’s article “Priests’ alleged victim seeks wide audience.”

                Shaw writes: “Uxbridge- George ‘Skip’ Shea will be taking his one-man multimedia show-‘Catholic (Surviving Abuse and Other Dead End Roads)’-to New York City this weekend.

                “Mr. Shea, who settled a suit against the Catholic Diocese of Worcester n which he alleged that he was sexually abused by the Rev. Thomas H. Teczar and the Rev. Robert Shauris during the 1970s at St. Mary’s Parish in Uxbridge, will debut his production at the Bowery Poetry Club at 9 p.m. Saturday.

                “His intent is to reach out to a general audience to ‘change the way we look at the clergy abuse scandal that has rocked the country and the world.’ He recently presented the performance at the center of peaceful living in Uxbridge. The local production was a profound personal experience because for the first time, he told his story to people in his own town. It is our time to move to a wider audience, he said.

                “Mr. Shea wants to take what he calls ‘an unprecedented look’ into the mind and soul of a survivor. He will include his original artwork poetry and a rant about what it was like growing up Irish and Catholic in a small mill town while keeping the dark secret of his sexual abuse by priests. He, no longer, is a member of the Catholic Church.

                “His artwork has been exhibited in a number of places, including the center for peaceful living gallery in Uxbridge, the Culture of Peace touring exhibit with a group of national and international artists and poets; and in ‘Miraculous: Contemporary Exvotos Paintings,’ exhibited at ChezTGN in Brooklyn, N.Y.

                “He has used his poetry to cope with the abuse he has experienced…”138 

November 29, 2005

                David O'Brien is a professor at the College of the Holy Cross in Worcester who wrote this days “Commentary: As I See It” of “Catholic hierarchy must find a better way to run the church.”

                O’Brien writes: “Catholicism in Worcester is alive and well. Masses are said daily, churches are crowded on Sunday’s, babies are baptized, weddings are celebrated, people are buried, and trained ministers and lay volunteers assist in liturgical planning, weeding and baptismal preparation and bereavement support. Smart committed Catholics can be found on three Catholic college campuses and in dozens of elementary and high schools. Good Catholics are everywhere: in government, social series, business, the professions and the unions. The church of Worcester continues to serve the poor in parishes and church-sponsored social agencies. Catholics help out in the city’s shelters and soup kitchens, they welcome immigrants and refugees, and a new home for women with troubled pregnancies joins an impressive network of faith-inspired initiative to meet human needs. The church matters I Worcester.

                “But we all know the Catholic Church is in trouble. Its problems are to the result of lukewarm faith, as if today’s Catholics are less devout than their parents. Nor is the cause by ‘secularism,’ a self-serving argument always used by religious leaders. No, the church’s problems are cause in large part by really had organization. Unfortunately, recent church policy has resorted to the idea that when the chips are down, the church is really the people, who appoint the bishop, who then is the Diocese of Worcester…              

                “Bishop Flanagan and his generation were implementing an important Vatican II idea. Bishops are primarily pastors of their local church, not delegates of the Vatican. They share pastoral leadership with their priests. The pope acts with and not apart forms the bishop, the bishop’s act with and not apart from their priest. The old system bred careerism and competition; the new system, anchored in ancient practices was supposed to bring collaboration and shared responsibility. For a moment it did.

                “It is fair to say that this entire reform project is in shambles. Pressured by the Vatican, the United States bishops have deliberately abandoned the building of a storm national conference with disastrous consequences evident in the sex abuse crisis, multiplying bankruptcies and the embarrassing politics of the 2004 election cycle. Diocesan reform has also been largely dismantled by a combination of Vatican interventions, appointment of Roman-orientated bishops, and pressure form well-organized networks of Catholic conservatives convinced that team ministry, dialogue about controversial questions and lay advisory bodies are destroying the American church. Their new banners instead proclaim fidelity, even on the most questionable ecclesiastical decisions, and they replace pastoral care with proclamation of ‘non-negotiable’ moral judgments. They are convinced that they are salvaging the church’s integrity, but failure to enlist priests and people in the work of the church brings one disaster after another…

                “But we Catholics can renew and reform our church if we choose. One thing at least is certain: Waiting won’t work.”139

                I had Professor O’Brien speak at St. Edward’s parish in the late 80s. He made his presentation and answered questions of the parishioners and guest for over three hours. Nothing like that has happened at St. Edward’s at this writing. David O’Brien is a member of Voice of the Faithful which is a laymen and laywomen organization seeking renewal in the Catholic Church.

                I believe that O’Brien realizes the resurging clericalism in this day and age of the Church. The clerics are retreating to the castle and pulling up the draw bridge. But the Church is trying to off-set the clergy demise with pushing the Deacon Program and ordinations to preserve clericalism. Some Deacons are being portrayed by the priest as “little priest.” The “gay culture” is using the deaconate to preserve the male club house. This is where one has to watch the “Harding of the wax” on a candle that is snuffed-out.  

November 30, 2005

                I had a phone call from a classmate that was a priest in Boston at 7:15 a.m. about the Vatican document on homosexuality and the priesthood. He said: “You haven’t said anything for two weeks about this. Where are you on this issue? He was angry and was at me this early in the morning. First, I said this would not affect him now. Secondly the previous church documents in the 70s and 80s. So, there was really nothing new. There were as many different opinions as there were sources.

                On the Internet on the Web page (The Boston Globe) was an article by Tracy Wilkinson, Lost Angeles Time entitled “Vatican issues rules banning active gay me from clergy.”

                Wilkinson wrote: “Rome-The Vatican yesterday formally released instructions that block active gay men form the priesthood, a long-anticipated document that has opened a divisive debate over how it will be applied and whether it will have a healing or detrimental elect on the Roman Catholic Church.

                “Church conservatives applauded the document for taking a strong stance against what many sees as an immoral ‘gay subculture’ within seminaries and church life, and for establishing clearer restrictions on who is suitable to become a priest.

                “Liberals said they feared the rules would be used to keep qualified men out of a depleted priesthood because of their sexual identity, even when celibate.

                “This is the first major instruction to be issued by Pope Benedict XVI, and the fact that it focused on homosexuality reflected the German pontiff concern over moral he sees eroded by Western secular culture.

                “Cardinal Zenon Grocholewski (John Paul II’s appointment), author of the eight-page document as prefect of the Congregation for Catholic Education, said yesterday it was crucial for the church to speak out now…:140

                This same day on the Internet was a report, which I was to surprise to read from an Australian Jesuit priest, entitled “Reports: Homosexuality and Catholic Priesthood: A Eureka Street comment.” The reason I said that I was not surprised because this document was debated for such a period of time and especially a religious order would have had someone in place for such a report.

                It reads in parts: “The Vatican Congregation for Catholic Education has issued a document on admitting homosexual men to Catholic priesthood.

                “A Eureka Street comment describes the background to the document, and commends its emphasis on maturity as the criterion of admission to priesthood. More:

                “The recent Vatican document on admitting homosexual men to ordination reflects broader issues that trouble most churches in the West. But the question has also distinctively Catholic aspects.

                “The larger issue concerns the moral status of sexual relations between homosexual partnered. Should these be judged by the same criteria fidelity, permanence and lifelong commitment by which we would judge heterosexual relationship? Or are the morally unacceptable precisely because they are between people of the same sex” Christians who address this question must also make complex and far-reaching judgments about the authority of Scripture and of its received interpretation.

                “The ordination of people in public homosexual relations kops focuses this issue. Because ministers in their public lives are expected to embody the teaching of Christ ordination of people known to be in a homosexual relationship naturally calls into question any judgment that homosexuality is contrary to Christ’s teaching.

                “The coming together so sexuality and authority in the question of ordaining practicing homosexuals arouses powerful emotions that have threatened to divide the Anglican Communion. This precise issue does to directly affect the Catholic Church, most of whose clergy are required to live celibate lives…

                “The Instruction itself builds on previous Vatican documents. It presents the ideal of mature priest as a criterion for admission to priesthood. The mature priest can live happily and faithfully a celibate life, presumably without sexual repression, suppresses depression or expression…

                “The core of the document has to do with ‘homosexual tendencies.’ It distinguishes between a transitory and a more deeply rooted condition. A transitory condition indicated a lack of emotional maturity, and the document prescribes a delay of three years be entry into a seminary, presumably to encourage the development of a secure sexual identity.

                “The Instruction also excludes those with ‘a more deep-seated tendency.’ This phrase also found in previous documents, but it is nowhere closely defined. Its meaning is significant, for if it implied no more than that people recognize their homosexuality as abiding, it would reflect negatively on the ministry of many priests and bishops in the Catholic Church. But in previous documents, tendency appears to denote not only sexual identity, but an inclination to act out sexual desires. A deep-rooted tendency would indicate a strong need to do so.

                “If this is so, men with such strong needs would be unlikely to be able to live a celibate life happily and faithfully. Nor, again, would hero sexual men with the same degree live this need.

                “Finally the document excluded those who ‘support the so-called gay culture.’ This presumably means living in such a way that one would be publicly identified as homosexual, and would reasonably taken to support homosexual practice. Such a way of living would stand in conflict with Catholic teaching about homosexuality. Although the reference to gay culture is vague, it suggests also a sense of identity in this way might also be inconsistent with the emotional maturity required to live celibacy happily. But so surely would support for a macho culture…

                “The major challenge to the churches also remains: to develop a pastoral practice that accepts s homosexual people and everything that is distinctive in their reception of the Gospel neither as a threat nor affront, but as a gift.”141

                A religious order would be the first to directly address these issues with a question perspective. The days of old (70s) would have heard much dialogue. This time in the Church, there only are answers to at times answers to questions that have not been even asked.

                Well, in another article on the Internet from the Web page of (The Boston Globe) we read “A church confused over sexual issues.”   Bernadette J. Brooten (Professor of Christian studies at Brandeis University and the director of the Feminist Sexual Ethics Project) writes: “If the Vatican aims to prevent clergy sexual abuse by bring gay men form the priesthood, it is profoundly misguided. Most strikingly, the latest Vatican statement doesn’t even name clergy sexual abuse as a problem. Instead, the Vatican refers ever so obliquely to the ‘contemporary world,’ which must mean ‘a world in which even priests have sex with boy.’

                “The Vatican needs to address head-on the dual problem of priests abusing their power and their bishops protecting them. Otherwise, Catholics and non-Catholics will live with shaken confidence in the Romans Catholic Church, an important social institution by any measures. This document diverts attention away from Catholic bishops who have worked mightily to avid just settlements with sexual abuse survivors, to open their financial records, or to include clergy as mandated reporters of child sexual abuse.

                “By deigning homosexuality as the problem, the Vatican also masks the fact that numerous priests have had, and are having sexual relations with adult women. Unlike therapists or physicals, priest is not usually legally prohibited form having sexual relations with the women whom they counsel. Women whose trust priests have betrayed have rarely been able to sue for damages; ad the media has therefore seldom reported their stories.

                “Instead of facing up to these urgent problems in the church, the statement bars all men ‘who practice homosexuality, show profoundly deep-rooted homosexual tendencies, or support us-called gay culture’ from the seminary and the priesthood. As theological justification the Vatican explains that a priest must ‘represent Christ, head, shepherd, and bridegroom of the church.’ Christ’s maleness is the same reason the Vatican excludes women form the priesthood, although in church history, canon lawyers more candidly explained that women are simply inferior.

                “Now we see that being a man alone isn’t enough. The priest also has to be a real man. He has to be heterosexual in order to function as a head of the congregation and as a bridegroom of the church. Yes, heterosexual and male, but also celibate, while giving with other male priests-a tall order. In a new theological twist, Jesus was not only celibate but also heterosexual.

                “Even as the Vatican is puzzling out the fine details of theological symbolism, US Catholics face new disappointments each year…”142

                This same article appeared in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette. I wonder how many clerics have read this and even had nay discussion on the contents of what Brooten stages? 

December 2, 2005

                “Parish says goodbye to Father Rich” in the Fitchburg Sentinel & Enterprise with a front page picture of Julia Casey bending down to kiss Father Lewandowski on the head (cue bald) at his retirement celebration, Thursday evening.

                Marisa Donelan of the Sentinel wrote: “Fitchburg-One glance around the room was all it took to pinpoint the man of the hour.

                “There was a steady line of people following the Rev. Richard Lewandowski around the ballroom at the Best Western Royal Plaza Hotel in Fitchburg Thursday night. They were all looking for the chance to wish him well in retirement.

“Lewandowski, or ‘Father Rich,’ had been the pastor of St. Camillus Catholic Church until last year. He greeted friends and parishioners with smiles and hugs.

“Norman J. Bourdraeu, who was on the committee that organized the party, said he expected about 300 people to attend the celebration.

“Father Rich did so much for our community,’ Bourdreau said. ‘He touched a lot of lives.’

“Lewandowski came to Fitchburg in the early 1980s as the chaplain for the Newman Center at Fitchburg State College. He then moved to St. Camillus, but continued his work at FSC.

“He gave his last sermon Thanksgiving f 2004, and then took a medical leave of absence. At the end of his leave, he announced his retirement from the pastorship; bout would not elaborate on the specific reason.

“‘It’s a medical retirement,’ Lewandowski,’ Lewandowski said before the event.

“FSC President Robert Antonucci said despite his retirement, Lewandowski has continued his presence on campus and in the parish.

“‘He’s a really good guy, he was always active in the college community, and he was always thee for anyone who needed help,’ Antonucci said…

“Ashby resident Steve LeBlance said Lewandowski inspirited everyone he met.

“‘Father Rich has just been a gift to the city of Fitchburg,’ LeBlance said. ‘He worked with the elderly, he worked with the poor, and he worked with the addicted. His energy has just been boundless....’ “143

“Lewvy” was his name in the seminary and the clergy. He was a classmate of John Bish-Molly’s father-in college in St. Mary’s, Orchard Lake, Michigan. This is priest’s story that was interesting to track with his “sick leave” and then is “retirement.” We priest watched because “Lewv” spoke out for gay rights in a Massachusetts State House C committee. He was someone that we watched to see what would happen next. He was gone-sent out to pasture with a “retirement.”

Well, finally the official document on gays in the priesthood was released by the Vatican the diocesan Catholic Free Press had front page stories with headlines “Vatican says no ordaining homosexuals or men who support ‘gay culture’

The article was written by John Thavis of the Catholic News Service from Vatican City. Thavis wrote: “Vatican City (CNS)-A long-awaited Vatican document said the church cannot allow priestly ordination of men who are active homosexuals, who have ‘deep-seated’ homosexual tendencies or who support the ‘gay culture.’

“Such people have serious problems relating properly to en and women and present a risk of ‘negative consequences’ that should not be underestimated, the document said.

“The Vatican published the nine-page instruction form the Congregation for Catholic Education Tuesday after more than eight years of internal discussion and debate.

“The document did not define what it meant by ‘deep-seated’ homosexual tendencies, but contrasted them with the ‘transitory’ problems of adolescence.

Such transitory tendencies must be clearly overcome at least three years before ordination as a deacon, it said. It did not explain what was meant by ‘overcome’ or how that could be determined.

“The document was leaked to the Italian press earlier in November…”144

The same page of this diocesan paper printed “Document raises questions for seminaries” written, again, by John Thavis as an "Analysis.”.

Thavis writes: “Vatican City (CNS)-A long-awaited Vatican document drew s sharp line against priestly ordination of homosexuals, but in the process raised a series of delicate questions for church leaders and seminary officials.

“The nine-page instruction, prepared the Congregation for Catholic Education, said the church cannot ordain men who are active homosexuals, who have ‘deep-seated homosexual tendencies or who support ‘gay culture,’ those who have overcome ‘transitory’ homosexual tendencies, however, could be ordained.

“The instruction’s button line was that homosexual men should not be accepted into seminaries or ordained to the priesthood.

“In recent weeks, some reports have suggested that the document would allow homosexual men to be ordained, as long as hey had remained celibate for at least three years during seminary formation.

“But the document does not say that; there is o discussion of ‘celibacy’ of homosexual candidates. What it does say is that fleeting homosexual tendencies experienced in youth should not represent a bar to ordination-as long as those tendencies are clearly overcome.

“In other words, a candidate would have to mature out of a homosexual inclination well before ordination.

“ ‘This part of the text refers to someone who may have had an experience tied to the process of maturing during adolescence. It does not referee to someone who is homosexual and who has refrained from (sexual) acts in a three period,’ said an official of the education congregation, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

“‘It is talking about a phase in which someone has uncertainty about his sexual orientation, and it says this uncertainty must be definitively overcome,’ the official said.

“The wording of the text is significant. It presumes that homosexuality is not a permanent identity but a set of ‘tendencies’ or an inclination that can, in fact be overcome.

“But the instruction makes no attempt to define the difference between ‘deep-seated’ or ‘transitory’ tendencies. Nor does it say what criteria would be used to determine whether a candidate had overcome such tendencies.

“Further, the text does not spell out who should determine whether a candidate for the priesthood has homosexual tendencies. It odes not discuss psychological testing of seminary applicants, another key and controversial issue at the Vatican…”145

Now let’s read what Father Greeley has to say. He wrote in his weekly column of Chicago Sun-Times with “ ‘No sex’ ruling no surprise.”

                Greeley writes: A headline about the new instruction form the Vatican read, ‘Vatican bans active gays from priesthood.’ One might add that it bans active straights from the priesthood, too. Perhaps the celibacy rule will change. However, as long as it applies, those who are in sexual relationships of wither sort will not be ordained. That is not new, and indeed it is not news.

                “In fact the new instruction says merely that under some circumstances gays can become priests, and under other circumstances they cannot be ordained and it leaves to the local officials, bishops and seminary rectors, to decide in individual cases.

                “The document is in fact a stinging defeat for those Catholic conservatives in Rome and in this country who have been blaming gays for the sexual abuse crisis and wanted to ban them completely form the priesthood. The issue comes down to whether a homosexual orientation is something people choose or is something they cannot change. The convictions of Americans on this question are undergoing modification just as is the understanding of he church. Thirty-three percent of the conservative Christians (evangelicals) believe that it is something that they cannot change, as do 61 percent of mainline Protestants and 68 percent of Catholics. (Data form the General Social Survey.) Moreover my own reanalysis of the data collected by the Los Angeles Time (in my book Priests a Calling in Crisis) shows that about a sixth of Catholic priests are gay and that two out of three of them are celibate, not greatly different from the three out of fur among the straight priests. (Check out the Worcester Diocese to these percentages.)

                “The Instruction is in some sense anticlimactic. After all the preliminary publicity it confirms the practice that sensible and prudent bishops have been following. Indeed, the document goes further than any other Vatican document of which I am aware in defending homosexuals. ‘They must be accepted with respect and sensitivity; every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. Those persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives.’

                “I suspect that many of the reactionary Catholics hoping for a complete ban will be angry at such words. The Instruction repeats the unfortunate phrase that they’re ‘objectively disordered,’ which is deeply offensive to gays and seems unnecessary. It might have more wisely added that homosexuals are God’s children whom God loves as much as he loves anyone else. That sentence will of course stir up hate mail from gay bashers.

                “I've already received anonymous hate mail from the other side. ‘Now it’s in print. The Vatican has now decided that gays are to be punished. The new pope was once a member of a German youth movement. Nazis once decided that gays and Jews were responsible for all the problems of Germany. Now the pope has decided that gays are responsible for all the problems of the Catholic Church. Religion just can’t help itself. It has to have someone to blame, someone to punish, Jews, blacks, women, gays.’

                “Obviously the person who wrote that had not read the document. The leaks about it the last couple of months made it unnecessary for the person to read it. S/he knew what would be in it. This is a judgment both on the church’s capacity for dealing with the world media and the responsibility of the media to get to a story right…”146 

December 3, 2005

                Reuter’s reports on their Web page “Homosexuality destabilizes society: Vatican paper.”

                It reads: “Vatican City (Reuters) – the Vatican newspaper said on Tuesday that homosexuality risked ‘destabilizing people and society’ had no social or moral value and could never match the importance of the relationship between a man and woman.

                “The remarks were contained in a long commentary published to accompany the official release of a long-awaited document that restricted the access of homosexual men to the Roman Catholic priesthood.

                “The article by Monsignor Tony Anatrella, a French Jesuit and psychologist, said homosexuality could to be considered an acceptable moral alternative to heterosexuality.

                “ ‘During these past ears, homosexuality has become a phenomenon that is always increasingly worrying and in many countries is considered a quality that is normal,’ the article in L’Osservatorre Romano said.

                “The article was specifically approved by the Vatican’s secretariat of state.

                “‘If (homosexuality) does not represent a social value and even less so a moral virtue that could add to the civilization of sexuality,’ Anatrella said. ‘It could even be seen as a destabilizing reality for people and for society.’

                “The Catholic Church, the article sad, had a duty to reaffirm its position that homosexuality is ‘against conjugal life, the life of the family, and priestly life.’

                “ ‘In no case is this form of sexuality s a sexual alternative, or even less , a reality that is equivalent to that which is shared by a man and a woman engaged in matrimonial life,’ the Italian-language article said.

                “ ‘It (homosexuality) cannot be encouraged or even less so, supported with pastoral initiatives,’ it sad in an apparent reference to Catholics priests who administer to homosexuals without remaining them of the Church's position against gayest.

                “It said homosexuality was ‘a sexual tendency and to an identity’ and repeated the Church’s stand against allowing gays to marry or to adopt children. It also called homosexuality ‘an incomplete and immature part of human sexuality.’

                “It repeated some themes in the Vatican document, and added a list of ways seminary directors could determine if a candidate for the priesthood had overcome homosexual tendencies or risked not being able to respect the Church rule of priestly celibacy.”147 

December 4, 2005

                Here was interesting encounter: “Father Peacock” and I were having lunch at the King Philip’s Restaurant in E. Templeton. It was one of the better restaurants in the area. So, when we talk in, we meet Fr. Francis Roberge (1993 vintage from St. Edward’s). Roberge was having lunch with some woman and we walked by where Roberge said hello to “Father Peacock” and nothing to me. Next, when we sat to order, “Father Peacock” said to me: “Will given you $100 if you go over and ask Roberge, where is your furniture?” It got better because Roberge came over to say hello to “Father Peacock.” He had to recognize me in a very interesting manner. I predicted that this would be the last time that “Father Peacock” would want to have anything to eat with me at this restaurant. Roberge is in the same “cluster” as “Father Peacock.” This would not be, I am sure, politically-clergy correct.

                IN addition, I had to hear from “Father Peacock” that due to his illness and if he didn’t go his way, his M.D doctor would write him a letter to retire. 

December 5, 2005

                Newsweek published in this weeks issue a cartoon showing tow priest with one holding a newspaper that reads “Vatican Bans Homosexuals from Priesthood” and the other priest dressed in a white surplice (pregnancy dress) and cassock saying “Does this make me look gay?”148

 Interesting how society may view issues and express them through cartoons.

December 10, 2005

                Worcester Telegram & Gazette had in their “People’s Forum” (Letters-to-the-Editor) section a letter from Joseph A. Ledoux of Spencer. It is entitled “Aquino column circumvented the truth.” He is a prolific letter writer as seen in the Catholic Free Press.

                This letter states: “‘You shall know the truth and truth shall make you free,’ is the slogan of the Catholic Free Press. Finding the truth in our secular society is extremely difficult.

                “A perfect example is the Rev. James J. Aquino and his attorney’s explanation that the Las Vegas incident was minor misdemeanor and he was singled out because he was a priest.

                “When the truth was revealed to the bishop by the Las Vegas Police Department, Rev. Aquino was suspended immediately, and I stress immediately, from functioning as a priest. The bishop has no bitterness toward the police and concurred that he was not related unjustly because he was a priest. I do not wish to condone Rev. Aquino’s shameful behavior in Las Vegas; however, I must quote form the catechism of the Catholic Church: ‘If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.’

                “Dianne Williamson, in her eagerness to attack the Catholic Church (Telegram & Gazette, Nov. 15), intentionally naively circumvented the truth about this sorrowful occurrence.

                “One of my favorite quotations is from Rev. Billy Graham: ‘You will never find the perfect church and if you do it and join it, it will be imperfect.’ 149 

December 11, 2005

                I had an interesting conversation with “Father Peacock” about his Deacon attending a Diocesan Pastoral Council Meeting at the Chancery. The story I heard now was second person (“Father Peacock”) communicated. He begins by telling me that he told his Deacon and the other newly ordained Deacon, the reason that he does not have a Pastoral (Parish) Council because of the experience that Bishop McManus had to face in Worcester. The previous bishop-Reilly-reinstituted this advisory group after the Voce of the Faithful were questioning the arm of advisors in the Worcester Diocese. His Deacon told him that Bishop McManus had to face a question by a member about the Aquino case and the time line issue. Supposedly, Bishop McManus became red faced after this member was not satisfied with what the bishop answered. There was Msgr. Permanini on this council as an ex-officio member came out to supposedly to say that it was the Vicar of Clergy that made the “problem” with the Aquino case. Permarini was challenged: Isn’t Fr. Rocco Picclomini who is the Vicar for Clergy? Permarini said: “It was you who said it.”

                Here is the issue of the day, the “certain element” in the diocese going at each other in the diocesan clerical system. What I noticed in this encounter, how “Father Peacock” was shifting the “lamp light” around to cover the issue of gays and certain personalities going at each other. Another element I noticed in him was his “homophobia” by his anger being so charged. The “certain element” of the Worcester Diocese is so entangled; one would keep the distance that I always maintained.

                At the end of ties day, I felt insecure, unstableness, being isolated from my brother clergy and seemed to be in a “black hole.” I realized that I had to get back to get it together-again’ for my own benefit and clean-out this day and move on ward.

                Yet, Hollywood releases “Brokeback Mountain” movie. This is a story about two gay cowboys (sheepherders). It keeps on coming. I was called and asked by my classmate in Boston if I was going to see it. I said that I am not sure. I rather see more historical movies. Nothing more was said on the phone. 

December 12, 2005

                In an essay in Time, Andrew Sullivan-who also had a blog page-submitted “The Vatican’s New Stereotype: Why it’s new rules barring gay priests turn Jesus’ teaching n its head.”

                Sullivan states: “The one consolation that gay Catholics have is that the church hates only sin, not sinners. Yes, many of us are far from perfect, and like most married heterosexual Catholics, we have been known to have sex without making a baby. But we wee , as the Vatican assured us in official documents in 1975 and ’86,’made in the image and likeness of God.’ The condition of homosexuality was, for many, ‘innate’ and not in itself a sin. Gay people were ‘often generous and giving of themselves,’ said the Vatican, and the notion that gays could not lead celibate lives was an 'unfounded and demeaning assumption.’ The bar on any gay sexual intimacy was still firm-but it was the same bar that prohibited heterosexual couples from using contraception, or single people form masturbating, or any other nonprocreative sexual act. It was a coherent, if difficult, doctrine-and not bigotry.

                “In this confined and often suffocating place, it was still possible, though never easy, to breathe the love of God as a gay Catholic. Our love of the church helped us overlook its institutional rejection of the relationships we built and the families who embraced us as equals. For many of us, the presence of gay priests also gave immense comfort. Of my three confessor in adult life, all turned out to be gay, although I had no idea in advance. I have known many gay priests, and I’m in awe of their service-to the poor and needy, to the lonely and uneducated, to prisoners and parishioners who have all found grace through their ministry and sacrifice. Often, their outsider experience helped them relate better to the marginalized or the lonely or those taken for granted.

                “Recall the image of Michel Judge, the chaplain for new York City’s firefighters, carried away from the World Trade Center in the arms of the brave men he ministered to. Judge, a proudly gay man, gave his life for those he served. Under new rules form Pope Benedict XVI issued last week, Father Judge would never have been ordained. Nor would thousands of other gay priests and bishops and monks and numbs who have served God’s people throughout the ages.

                “In the past, all that mattered for a priest, as far as sexual orientation was concerned, was celibacy. If a priest kept his vows, if it didn’t really matter f he were refusing to have sex with a man or with a woman. All that mattered was that he kept his vows and had sex with no one.

                “But that has just changed. Even if a gay priest remains completely celibate, his sexual orientation is now regarded, according to a Vatican expert, as a threat to ‘priestly life.’ A gay celibate priest, according to the new rules, is incapable of ‘sexual maturity coherent with his masculine sexual identity.’ He has ‘a problem in the psychic organization’ of his sexuality barring him form priestly responsibility…”150 

December 16, 2005

                The National Catholic Reporter had a picture of a group of women placards with a story “When survivors of sex abuse challenge Rome, O’Malley reported by Church Colbert in Boston.

                Colbert wrote: “Not convinced the Vatican’s new criteria banning gay seminarians address root causes of clerical abuse, women who were abused by priests demonstrated Dec. 1 outside chancery offices of the Boston archdiocese.

                “While taking aim at a new Vatican document released Nov. we, which says men ‘who practice homosexuality present deep-seated homosexual tendencies or support the so-called ‘gay culture’’ are not suitable for priestly ordination, the female survivors also took issue with Archbishop Sean P. O’Malley’s recent letter on homosexuality, which local media widely characterized as an outreach effort.

                “ ‘Perhaps the public…would like to continue to think that priests abused altar boys and somehow their daughters are safe,’ sad Ann Hagan Webb, New England coordinator for Survivors Network for those Abused by Priests, or SNAP. ‘We are here to dispel that myth. We were not safe. And homosexual orientation in our abusers had nothing to do with it.’

                “Hagan Webb, a psychologist, who alleges she was abused by a monsignor from kindergarten through seventh grade, took issue specifically with church officials and reports that suggest 80 to 90 percent of sex abuse victims were boys.

                “ ‘How does that account for the fact that half of the 6,000 plus members of SNAP are female?’ she asked. (This is an interesting statistic besides the obvious.) ‘This culture has a long history of blaming female victims, whatever their age, for the sexual abuse perpetrated on them. Is it any wonder that we are lest apt to come forward publicly, or face legal actions that might put us on the witness stand defending our virtue (Where was this?)…?”151

                I wonder whenever I read anything as such if there is an agenda against the male dominated Catholic Church as such-Pope, priest, deacons and power structure- to carry another torch of repression resurrected. It’s the priest, the priest, the priest world to direct everything and anything.

December 20, 2005

                I had a conversation with “Father Peacock” where he is running his annual “money talk.” It seems that the diocese wants parishes to do a stewardship drive. The diocese does this moving of presets ("Curates") every 2 or 3 years. Well, he is going with blocking anything as such in his parish. He constantly complains about the collections. But, when Stewardship is proposed, he goes into a cloud of refusing to take part. He develops his mini-parish drive. He than says nothing for a few months. Then it is complaining as usual.

                But this time, he opens-up that there are 88 other parishes in the diocese that are in the “red.” He says that he has kept the parish out of debt. Same route on his part was the pattern of behaviors. I have heard this for the past 20 years. But what he doesn’t talk about the major projects that need to be addressed at his parish. He plays the game with his gift of words and smoke. Oh! He told me a story how a parishioner donated $73,000 to his parish. But, the family was going to challenge it because of the mental state of the donor. He tells me that he is going to return the money to the family because he does not want Dianne Williamson from the Telegram & Gazette writing about him. In addition, he tells me that the family of this donor will not get anything because the state will eat it up.

                The “People’s Forum” of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette had a letter form Herbert J. Andrews of Douglas entitled “Rev. Coonan matter needs a fair hearing.”

                It states: “As in the Rev. Joseph J. Coonan case, I have experienced abandonment and betrayal. In the log run you find out that the institution is more important than individual rights.

                “By now, more than 3 ½ years later one of our bishops should have established a tribunal to determine if Rev. Coonan can be returned to the priesthood. If our secular court system does not want to prosecute the allocations against Rev. Coonan (and I feel there should be no statue of limitations on the sexual abuse of a minor), that our church must investigate this case and allow both sides to testify.

                In America, we are supposed to be proved guilty until proved innocent. As a Catholic, I believe in forgiveness, but I also believe in my pastor’s accountability while at the same time his right to a fair judgment.”152 

December 24, 2005

                I had lunch with a former parishioner who is a lawyer. We do this once a year. He asked me at the car after we finished lunch if I was ever going to come to come back to ministry? I answered him directly: “No.” I then said that if anyone had said I was crazy, that I had a legal document saying that I was “normal.” The lawyer comes back-who is quick witted-saying that that does not prove the present moment. I responded with that a person can not be given only one full evaluation that I had to experience in 1993. I sad he did not even have such a document. The good lawyer was silent. He had to rush at this time and go home. It was an interesting experience. I don’t know if there will be a net year December 24th lunch?

                “Bishop didn’t sign list on gay marriage” by Kathleen A. Shaw in this days Worcester Telegram & Gazette,

                Shaw writes: “Worcester-As expected, a group that favors same-sex marriage this week posted on its Web site names and addresses of more than 120,000 Massachusetts voters who signed petitions against same sex marriage.

                “A check f the name in Central Massachusetts shows the most notable elected official to sign the petition to be District Attorney John J. Conte. He did not return a telephone call yesterday seeking comment on why he supports a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between one man and one woman.

                “No area state legislators signed including State Rep. Emile J. Goguen, D-Fitchburg, who has championed the cause of ending same-sex marriage in this state.

“Gov. Mitt Romney, who is expected to make a presidential bid, singed the petition. Former U.S. Rep. Peter I. Blute, R-Shrewsbury also signed.

                “Bishop Robert J. McManus who endorsed the petition drive and allowed signature gathering into the churches of the Diocese of Worcester, did not sign the petition. The names of several area priests are there, along with people involved in other local Christian churches including the Rev. Johnnie Yelverton of the Belmont Street A.M.E. Zion Church. Bishop McManus was not immediately available for comment yesterday because the diocesan office had closed until Tuesday for the Christmas holiday.

                “Boston Archbishop Sean P. O’Malley of Boston also did not sign, but the names of the other Massachusetts bishops, Bishop George V Coleman of Fall River and Bishop Timothy A. McDonnell of Springfield, appear on the list.

      , the group that backs same-sex marriage, said it posted the names and, addresses of all who signed so that the public will know who had signed. It also allows those who believe their names were fraudulently collected to make a complaint…”153 

December 25, 2005

                “Bishop says he signed gay petition: No explanation why name not on list,” by Richard Nangle of Telegram & Gazette Staff wrote: “Worcester-Despite the fact that his name did not appear on an official sit, Bishop Robert J. McManus says he signed a petition backing a constitutional ban on gay marriage.

                “A story in yesterday’s editions of the Telegram & Gazette noted the absence of Bishop McManus’s signature, along with the of Boston Archbishop Sean P. O’Malley room the petition. Both have been oval in their support for the effort to overturn the state’s gay marriage law.

                “Diocesan spokesman Raymond Delisle said in a statement that the bishop ‘recalls signing the petition and is frustrated that his signature is not on the list….The only thing that can be accurately reported is that Bishop McManus signature is missing form the list. There is not factual basis to claiming that ‘he did not sign it.’ Logic dictates that he would have singed it given his consistent public position of support for the amendment….’”154

                Well what gets interesting is how “Father Peacock” played out that he signed the petition but the sheet was lost. He told me that the woman in charge of the petitions told him she had the list then she did not have the list. So his name never appeared on the Web page. He stated that the list was lost. So why didn’t e sing another petition paper. It way one excuse that possibly should have someone check the priests names of the Worcester Diocese of not singing the petition. There might be a more interesting story with this than one may imagine. Unbelievable story of me hearing how the sheet from “Father Peacock’s” parish had it and then the woman in charge does not know how it was not there anymore. You don’t need a “Dick Tracey” to figure this one out. 

December 28, 2005

                “New TV series depicts priest caught up unjust inhuman” appeared in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette issue written by the Associated Press reporter Frazier Moore.

                Moore writes: “New York-“I think it’s a pretty down-the-middle, wholesome show,’ says Aidan Quinn referring to his new NBC series ‘Book of Daniel.’

                “ ‘I honestly don’t think it’s going to be nearly as controversial as some people may now be afraid of,’ he declares. ‘It just has the courage to deal with some of the real issues that go in n people’s lives.’

                “Like, for instance? Quinn laughs as he recites a litany.

                “ ‘Well, I'm an Episcopalian priest how struggles with a little self-medication problem, and I have a 23-year-old son who’s gay, and a 16-year-old daughter who’s caught dealing pot, and another son who’s jumping on every high school girl he sees, and a wife who’s very loving but also likes her martinis.

                “ ‘I can’t tell you how many people have said tome, ‘Hey that sounds like my family.’

                “Don’t forget the Rev. Daniel Webster’s recent cruel loss of another son to leukemia. Or the kookie extended family that among other things, is about to put Daniel’s priesthood (and parish) in jeopardy by forcing him into business with the mob.

                Or the fact that he has regular visions of, and frequent conversations with, a flesh-and-blood Jesus Christ.

                “Is this like your family? Viewers can soon find out. On Jan. 6, ‘Book of Daniel’ premieres with back-to-back airings of two episodes from 9 to 11 p.m., before claiming its regular 10 p.m. slot the following week…”155

                I viewed 4 programs and enjoyed watching it due to be what I believe and know as the “real world” at least from the Catholic priest perspective. The sequence of the housekeeper had me laughing because I knew three such characters in my rectory living. I looked forward to this evening’s program. But, it was gone. There was a protest from the southern states that NBC affiliates in some areas refused to show even one program. NBC replaced it with “Law & Order” in that time sloth. I basically show it as a real life situation with the different plots occurring in this show. I guess there are people that don’t think the controversial topics should be televised. But the Iraqi War does play daily with a very slanted presentation by the present administration in Washington and the money rollers of our form of Jeffersonian democracy being expanded. 

December 30, 2005

                The Catholic Free Press had this “Letter to the Editor” form Rev. Msgr. Thomas J. Sullivan (Diocesan Canceller) entitled “Distortion of truth.”

                Sullivan wrote to the Editor: “When will the Telegram & Gazette cease its insidious attacks n Bishop Robert J. McManus? Its repeated distortion of the truth, orchestrated to discredit our chief shepherd and ultimately intended to drive a wedge between the Catholic community and himself, is reprehensible.

                “The latest example of untruthful reporting is the Christmas Eve (!) issue, in an article written by Kathleen Shaw, and given the headline, ‘Bishop didn’t sign list on gay marriage.’ Shaw asserted that the bishop, after having encouraged Catholics in the diocese to sign the petition granting citizens the right to vote on a definition of marriage, did not himself sign it. Her obvious intention was to show that the bishop is not true to his word, and thus creates another divide within the Catholic community of Worcester County.

                “Well, Bishop McManus did sign the petition. I also signed it. Neither of our names, however, appears on the Web site of which Shaw use as her only source. Others have found the Web site flawed.

                “The disclaimer on the Web site reads “Know They its creators , its volunteer, its Web site designers, and its server company aren’t responsible or liable for the correctness of the list’s content including correct spelling, correct or current corresponding addresses , or authenticity.’ How can Shaw write an article with any certitude claiming the bishop did not sign this petition? And, how can the Telegram & Gazette permit such a headline?

                 Moreover, Shaw claimed to have called the diocesan offices for comment. The bishop was present in the officers for more than half the day and revived no such call. I worked in eh Bishop’s office all day and received no such call.

                “By signing the petition, Bishop McManus joined a record-breaking number of citizens of Massachusetts, representing scores of religious group and others. It is time for the Telegram & gazette to start telling the truth!”156

                This is one aspect, but it is not able to beat the one I heard about the petition sheet just disappearing form the parish facilitator.  

December 31, 2005

                The Worcester Telegram & Gazette in their “People Forum” had a letter entitled “The Holy Family is a model for us all” by Anthony S. Kazarnowicz, republic of Korea.

                This caught my eye in that not having “Rev.” by Father Tony’s name. He had been a prolific letter-to-the-editor writer. He went into the Catholic chaplaincy and wrote letters from Arizona. Now he appears with a Republic of Korea location.

                Father Tony writes: “The birth of Christ dignified life I the womb and the traditional family. From his conception I Mary’s womb, Jesus is referred to as ‘him,’ ‘his,’ ‘child’ and ‘Lord,’ he is never called ‘it’ or ‘product of conception.’ From his conception, Mary guarded his life with the utmost care.

                “Joseph and Mary did not engage in per-martial sex or live together in sin before they were married. God willed for his son to be born and raised according to the design of marriage he established in the beginning, a martial union between one man and one woman, not a homosexual union.

                “Joseph lovingly accepted Jesus though Jesus was not his own son. Jesus learned a trade and how to be a man form Joseph. He saw how male and female sexes complement each other in marriage. They taught Jesus how to pray and they worshipped together in the temple. Mary and Joseph never divorced. They were faithful to God and to each other unto death. They were once refuges in Egypt.

                “Jesus had male and female friends and his friendships were without sin. He respected and obeyed authority. He loved children and the poor. He loved his enemies. All the things he preached and lived in public, he first learned in the home. It was there that he was prepared for the cross. This is why they are called ‘The Holy Family,’ a model for us all.”157

                It has been some year. Every year I notice has been some year. God is good.

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