of us, there is a longing, which draws us beyond ourselves. We reach
out to something that calls on us. There is a sense of belonging to
something that is greater, something or someone, which gives our
lives meaning. However, things happen and one wonders.
not something that can be made simple. It is not something that can
truly be comprehended. And here is where our search for the
unknowable God, which we believe in, runs into difficulty.
I have tried
in this work to write my experience of being alleged of sex abuse
and what the Catholic Church hierarchy undertook in my particulars
as Pastor and ministry.
By this, I
mean that I will use my personal journal, interviews, and printed
material that I collected in the period beginning in 1993.
people choose different ways of interacting. I have tried thru this
work to keep my hand on the rudder and watch the sail of the boat on
the sea of life. It was like watching the water and the waves were
becoming larger. They began to splash. Then, the hurricane hit with
full force. Immediately after this the fog rolled-in.
My thesis is
simple: The shift from different phases of my experiences and what I
viewed had been happening in a mystery.
strength of personal analysis is the ability to uncover precise and
long-term changes, which I attempted to explain.
especially helpful in the long term to reflect and review what has
happened and possibly may be happening in my area of experience of
the Catholic Church and culture that I live in.
throughout is to explain, as best that I may, with what I read,
heard and experienced. I have through combining broad
generalization, often supported by good and use statistical and
other data, with character sketches of significant figures.
writing this text some ten years after the initial beginning of
writing a journal on my experience of being called into the Chancery
concerning allegations against me. It has been of help to develop
many interesting and key insights that I had no idea about when this
(Two Volumes) could not have been written without the resources
available and the community I experienced.
material is from my diary, articles and letter files. This was
arraigned in a chronological order of 1993 with each successive
this I read a number of articles concerning the priesthood. There
was in 1990 “A Question of Disillusionment: Sexual Abuse Among the
Clergy-Careful and detailed diagnosis is the single most important
factor in coming to increased understanding of this problem facing
the church.1 Then in 1992 America magazine printed “Priests
and Pedophilia: A Silence That Needs Breaking?”2 On November 19,
1992 The Worcester Telegram reported “Priest solicitation
case dismissal motion denied.”3 But, the one that opened my eyes
about a “dragnet going through the water” was “Accusations roil
Worcester Diocese: Sex Allegations against seven priests are
reassign questions of trust,” in The Boston Globe dated
February 8, 1993.4
I was called
into the Chancery Building on March 3, 1993.
So many people have been very
congenial and encouraging.
have also tried to construct a brief guide for those who may wish to
pursue further the issues that I have discovered. There, always, is
a need to ask questions. The point of attempting to know what is
going on is one of the issues that all should attempt in their
lives. This has been what I have tried to accomplish in this work of
breaking open the mystery.
realized in my ordination to the Presbyter (Priesthood) how much
examination was needed of the clergy culture. The Hierarchical
clergy and the “lower level” clergy culture being so heavily
shrouded in secrecy and wrapped in layers of protection from
accountability of any sort was not in my view. Besides this, there
was a Bourdon Kingship in the priesthood that was very well
insulated with a “different” orientation prevailing as hardening of
wax as time evolved.
daily, because of this, with worry, stress and grief. Besides this,
I have a desire of hope with my life journey equally being the
lament of personal feeling of independence versus the feeling of
isolation, unsupported, vulnerable to exploiters and bullies.
illuminates many issues.
story. I’m sticking to it.